Three | Pause and Think

Around this time of day, it was clear to anyone that it was still dark outside. Mara loves it, nevertheless. It was not that she sleeps so late until the sun rises, but she wakes from her slumber at 4 a.m. every day.

It was a magical time for her and in a way, she almost relates to how nocturnals feel in the middle of the night. It’s just her basking in the undisturbed and silent solitude. Sure, Mara is the most popular kid in school and everyone likes her (or at least, she hopes that’s the case). And sure, she lives out her life making efforts on becoming acquaintances with every person she knows in school.

No, it was exactly because of that that no other time of the day is as delightful as 4 o’clock in the morning. She would do some stretching exercises, read a chapter of a book, update her diary… Or most of the time, do the assignments that were due on that day.

Procrastinating is her most guilty pleasure. In school, people would be impressed with how she would get perfect grades on almost every assignment. They must’ve thought she worked on it days before, but it was quite the opposite.

To Mara, something was thrilling about putting off things for later and looking at the time she had left for assignments to pass by. She’s academically intelligent, after all. It’s her way of testing her limits.

But nay, the truth was not that. She merely uses all of those excuses for the simple fact that she just… procrastinates for no reason.

As she went on with finishing up her homework, she thought about other possible misconceptions everyone else might have for her.

(I’ve heard some rumors from girls that there are a few guys who have a crush on me.)

She stretches her arms upward before returning her ballpen to her pencil case and placing her homework papers inside her envelope.

(The boys are also placing bets on who would win over me. Somehow, they all think they have a chance with me just because I’m so nice to them. As if. Sheesh, I’m nice and friendly to everyone, why would they think they’re special?)

And that was another deep secret hidden within Mara. Beyond that affable and vibrant personality, she was the most prideful and self-confident fellow. Not that she did everything for her own selfish reasons. She genuinely cared about other people. Knowing that other people like her for that reason boosted her self-image.

(I wish everything could stay the same. I love it this way).

She glanced outside her window and saw that the sun was about to rise, so she opened the door to her balcony and stood there. She breathed in deeply the fresh morning air and stared at the sunrise, observing the small details of the view around her.

(Yep… Life is beautiful.)

She rested her elbows on the balcony balustrade and continued to stand still there. Her moment of admiring the beautiful scenery came to an end when she heard a knock on the door.

“Mara! Help me prepare for breakfast!” Her older sister, Mari, called.

“Coming!” She took one last quick glance at the sunrise before she rushed inside and closed the balcony door.

She grabbed her bag before leaving her room so she could place it on the floor by the house entrance. Then, she went to the kitchen where her sister can be seen cooking some bacon. On the counter behind her were lettuce, tomato, and bread.

“Alright, you do the lettuce and tomato. I’m toasting ‘em up while waiting for the bacon, then we can go set up everything.” Mara nodded her head and began to help out her sister.

“Hey… It’s already your last year of middle school, and you still don’t hang out with Orion in school every day?” Mari asked.

Mara froze for a bit after hearing the question but went on slicing the tomatoes. “I already told you, didn’t I? I know Orion seemed against it at the beginning, but he seems to be handling things better. Plus, I do hang out with him on school days when it’s his turn, and we still see him every Sunday. Mind you, I think seeing him less makes the meetings with him more special. I don’t wanna get tired of his face! Most of all, he has Perseus.”

“His turn?” Mari was baffled by the way she rambled on, she scrunched her face. It’s like she’s treating her best friend as a thing to please. Then she had a realization. “You’ve… Never met Perseus either, have you?”

“No, but I want to! I’ve been nagging him for years that he should invite him over on Sundays so I can hang out with him, too. I don’t know any Perseus in our school, so he must be from another school. I want to check out what kind of person is looking after my best friend for me, ya know?!” A loud click followed after she uttered the last word — it was the sound of the toaster popping up the now toasted bread.

After Mara calmed herself down, she added, “I want to thank him for that…”. Mari looked at her sister in regret. She cannot tell her the truth, for she has no right to.

“I see…” They were both quiet after that, but a lot of thoughts were occupying their minds.

Mara is thinking about why Orion wouldn’t trust her to meet Perseus, why it seemed that they can’t understand her values, and why it seemed that Mari is more protective of Orion over her.

On the other hand, Mari is thinking about why her sister is so obsessed with her goal of pleasing everyone, why she won’t ever open her eyes to the fact that her actions are wrong, and why it seems that she’s somehow desperate to protect Orion.

Their last thoughts coincided unknowingly, and as they were setting the table, Mara broke the silence.

“Hey, Mari… Do you like Orion?” A fork was dropped on the table, but Mari immediately fixed it in its position.

“What? Hey, he’s like my little brother, why would I ever?” Mara could see how flustered Mari was, and she connected the dots right there.

“Heh, no wonder.” Mara chuckled and whispered to herself.

(...that you’re always siding with him over me.)

But instead of feeling jealous, Mara chose to think positively.

“I mean, if you like him, then you like him! Nothing wrong with that, sis.” She said in a teasing manner.

“He’s still 12! I’m not… I just find him cute!” Mari’s tone sounded a bit angrier

“Oh? We’re turning 13 soon, though? That means high school is upon us, and he’s going to be dateable~!!” Mara starts to get ideas in her hand, now resolved to bring them closer.

“What the he— heck! It’s not happening!”

“Come onnn, like I always say! When you believe, anything is possib—”

“Ahem! Girls…?” Both Mara and Mari turned around and saw that their parents were now awake. “Mommy! We were just…”

“Now, now. Let’s just ignore whatever just happened and… dig in these piping-hot BLTs my beautiful daughters have made together! Hahaha!” A hand lightly slapped the back of her head, making her growl in pain.

“Honey! Why are you not reprimanding them?” The father turned to the girls. “Don’t you see it’s still early in the morning? Next time, I want you to both be quiet or you’ll disturb the neighbors. Understand?”

“Yes, daddy…” They stuck their tongues at each other before grabbing their own sandwich to eat.

After breakfast and showering, Mara headed off downstairs and stopped by the mirror near her entrance. Every morning before leaving for school, she does a little cheering routine to pump herself up for the day.

“I am pretty, I am smart! I am friendly, I am nice! Who’s the brightest? Amaranth! Mara’s here to light your day!” She ends the routine with two quick claps, placing the tips of her index fingers on her cheeks, and letting out the biggest smile she could.

“That’s nice being positive and all, but your routine is super cringe.” Mari says as she wears her school shoes.

“You should try it sometime with me! Hmph!” Mara flips her hair and skips away to go to their car.

Their parents have dropped them off at their respective schools. Mara was greeted with a lot of hellos and good mornings, and she happily greeted them back. She spotted the familiar ginger brown-haired boy who was now about the same height as her.

“Orion, Orion! Good morn~ ing~!!” Mara strongly placed her arm around Orion’s neck, causing him to flinch.

“Mara, be careful, will ya?!” Orion exclaimed as he set himself free from her hold. “So? What’s up?”, he asks as he fixes his clothes.

“What do you think of my sister, Mari?”

“Huh? Why are you asking me that?”

“Oh, it’s nothing… My sister’s currently feeling bad about herself and I was hoping I’d hear compliments from other people so I can reassure her later… please?” She put on a convincing act and while Orion saw through it, he decided to play along.

“I mean, she’s pretty awesome, I guess.” Orion refused to say it in front of her, but he considers Mari a better friend than his so-called best friend.

“In what way is she awesome?” Mara says smiling, feeling proud of her sister.

“Well, she looks out for other people and is observant of them. She may not look like it either, considering how tomboyish and noisy she is with friends her age.” Mara nodded in agreement but urged him to share more.

“I suppose she’s trustworthy, um… What else? She’s… pretty when she plays badminton, I guess.” Orion was imagining the time he watched one of Mari’s badminton matches. She may not be the ace in their club, but she was one of the best players in his eyes. Thanks to that, the corners of his lips curved upward.

“Hn…? Why are you grinning like Chesire?” Mara leaned in to get a closer look at his face.

“Hah—? I’m not— you asked? Ugh, hey, look. We’re already nearing your classroom.” He pointed his finger at the classroom door, allowing Mara to glance at the room.

“Hey, answer my ques—” She looks around. “Where’d he go?” It turned out that Orion was already a long way off, already going inside his classroom that’s on the other side of the hall.

Frowning, Mara says to herself, “He looks so meek, sometimes I forget he’s quite good at running, too.” Sighing disappointedly, she walks inside the classroom.

Today, she will be hanging out with one of her closest classmates this year, Penelope. Her beautiful charcoal hair tied up as a side ponytail was accessorized with a light green scrunchie, it was her signature hairstyle. She’s the type of person who is shy to everyone but exposes her real personality to those she’s comfortable with.

“Yahoo, Mara!” Penny came close to her. “You know what I woke up to this morning?”

“I don’t know, but it’s bound to be something weird again.” One time, she heard of a story where Penny woke up after having a dream about a little child crocheting on an old person’s rocking chair. Another dream she had was that of a girl attempting to destroy an hourglass as tall as a tree.

“No, it’s normal this time! Well, relatively.” Penny says while waving her hands in excitement. “I mean, I didn’t dream about anything. When I woke up, I just immediately thought about how near graduation is… and then.”

Mara gasped. It was only until she mentioned graduation that she realized they only have a few months left for middle school.

“Everything was pretty fun. I bet high school will be even better.” Mara said melancholy but also satisfied after reminiscing about her past few years.

“Why look so glum? We’re going to the same high school, anyway.” Penny pats her on the back.

“Right!” Her mood was lifted.

“So I thought about graduation… But I also thought about how different life will be. I won’t be surprised if I meet a lot of people I don't like, hahaha!”

“Don’t say that! I’m a hundred percent sure everyone we meet will be kind!” As usual, Mara skillfully drove away all doubts others might have.

“Heh, I guess so. Your positivity really is dazzling, Mara.”

“What can I say? Always look at the bright side of life, and everything will be alright!” The school bell rang, and it was now time for the school assembly to start. They said their goodbyes to each other and every student in the class lined up outside the room according to their heights.

The principal was on stage today, and she was giving a speech about whatever she was talking about. Mara was not paying attention to the school assembly at all. Her mind drifted off to thoughts about the future.

Although the digital world is always there for her to connect with everyone she knows, even Mara is aware that she might not be able to keep being friends with some of her classmates anymore once they have separated. Even so, she’s positive that she’ll be able to make new friends next year. As much as Mara seemed like a perfect girl who overcomes all her obstacles without worries, she’s still human after all.

(What would high school be like? What if she fails and is not able to make friends with anyone at all? What if I end up being bullied for no reason at all? It’s even possible that I won’t make any friends at all and I’ll be all alone, and I’ll be like those people in movies who have their lunch in the toilet room because they have no one to eat with… But…)

Seeing that she’s in a public area crowded with students, she holds back her tears.

(The future is scary, but…)

Deep sighs. Deep breaths.

(No one knows what the future holds. Should I even waste my energy worrying about it all?)

She paused and thought about it.

(Nope, that’s not it. Middle school gave me the best memories ever, and I’m absolutely sure that as long as I don’t give up and keep going… Everything will be fine. Just be positive.)

Mara has calmed down.

(Yeah, everything will be alright… As long as I keep on being the same old me.)