Chapter 7:

Butterflies Are Everywhere (Part 1)

My First Love Tastes Like Glitter



What I was feeling before and during the karaoke evening was simple nervousness – I realized it when I woke up on the Monday morning of our promised first date. The instant I had regained my consciousness after four flimsy hours of slumber, my nerves started acting up with so much more intensity its relativity to the former experience could only be expressed through mathematical formulas beyond my comprehension.


Hajime was apparently not the one to wake up early and neither was I, under normal circumstances, which is why we had agreed to meet at the plaza of a nearby mall at 2 pm. I unlocked my phone and eyed at the digital clock just as it struck 6 am. Eight hours to go.


I had actually gotten up for the first time around an hour ago. Of course, I had tried to fall back asleep – my system just wasn’t having it. My feelings were running a rally using anything they could find from the contents of my stomach as cars. I had trotted between the bathroom and my room to the point I had forgotten what each room was used for... and threw up in the trash can by my desk.


I felt gross. I was the kind of guy whose nerves acted up physically rather than mentally: it was one of the many reasons I cancelled plans often or just never made them in the first place. Whenever people in class talked about going somewhere after school, I usually slipped away before anyone could even ask me – that way I didn't need to feel guilty about turning them down.


But today wasn't one of those days I could just brush off. I was a man of my word and the things I was willing to do for Neri-nee's sake were no exaggeration – being beaten by some stomach acid would’ve been downright hypocritical! This was a matter of life and death and I had to bring myself to the plaza by 2 pm even if it meant the latter fate.


Fortunately, I did not need to resort to any lethal measures: I managed to get to the plaza using my own two feet. I had reached my destination at noon sharp, fully prepared to idle the two extra hours away by playing Kira-Kira Party. However, my date had other plans.


Veritably, it was no less than a dozen minutes after my arrival when my eyes met Hajime’s. She was giving me plenty to look at.


Over a plain white T-shirt, she was wearing a light blue sundress with a floral pattern. She had white, knee-high socks with a frilly rim and a hair bow that matched the modest palette of her outfit. The entire ensemble’s girly appeal was contrasted by the slightly soiled sneakers on her feet.


Hajime let me check her out for a while before flashing me a sleepy smile and running up to me. Once beside me, she placed her hands on my arm, pulling herself closer.


“Good afternoon, producer! Or maybe that’s too formal, since we’re on a date today... But it just comes to me so naturally. I hope you don’t mind!” she greeted.


Even after she had let go of my arm, the tingling feeling of her cool fingertips on my skin teasingly lingered on. As the public buildings of our town tended to suffer from a critical lack of working air condition, it was quite hot inside. Still, I was shivering right down to the hairs in my toes.


“It’s a little shameless but I was so excited to be meeting producer like this today I could hardly sleep a wink. I left as soon as I had finished getting ready”, she admitted.


“Hearing that makes me happy, but you need to take better care of yourself! You look stunning, as always”, I complimented.


“Producer always praises me too much! I can’t take it”, she protested, playfully letting her fingers graze my arm once more.


I did agree to this. This was what we promised and I was on cloud nine.


“Do you mind if we grab something to eat first? I totally forgot to eat breakfast... Sorry, that was a lie. I mainly wanted a passable excuse to dine out. And well, there’s a café I’ve been meaning to visit for a while now”, she suggested.


The café my date had in mind was located in the third and highest floor of the mall. Despite us bearing through the hottest months of the year at present, the vibe of the place was quite winter-like; maybe it was just a misconception caused by the pleasant breeze of cool air coming from the electric fan by the entrance. Though, the place did somewhat remind me of a trendy ski bar with its heavily wooden interior, sparsely placed tables and down-to-earth atmosphere. To give an impression of design expertise, fake plants and fairy lights had also presumably taken up a generous amount of the décor budget.


We settled for a table in the lightest corner of the café, right next to the glass door leading to the terrace. As soon as we had taken our seats, Hajime started filling in the silence.


"I already know what I'll order. As soon as I saw this place had it, I knew I had to try it! Have you been here before?”


“I tried to apply for a job here last spring when they were hiring. I didn’t hear back from them so I never got as far as to actually coming to check this place out”, I revealed.


“That’s a shame, it was their loss. Producer can do anything!” she cheered.


It was my turn to be bashful. I knew she was just saying that to become more like the Neri-nee so thoroughly indebted to her producer but I think that’s exactly why it got to me. I praised Neri-nee on a daily basis but getting even the most meager reciprocation from her instantly launched a dopamine overdose. I buried my face in the menu to hide the flustered expression that had triumphed.


After a couple glances at the plethora of options in front of me, I decided to skip on the baked goods. My stomach was still feeling a bit uneasy so I didn’t want to upset it any further by giving it a reason to go rascal.


“I’m not very hungry so I think I’ll make do with an iced tea”, I stated.


"I see. I'll have a green tea and a lemon cheesecake”, she disclosed.


I don’t know if it was intentional or not but Hajime had picked the exact items from the menu I would’ve gone for if I was playing her part. Neri-nee was not much of a sweet tooth but cakes were her soft spot and the character I know would be frothing at the mere thought of a creamy, acidic cheesecake accompanied by a slightly bitter drink.


Luckily, my companion seemed to be enjoying her choices so at the very least she wasn’t forcing herself to eat them for the sake of staying in character. Or maybe she was secretly a spy, gone through vicious training to become able to stay poker-faced even under the cruelest of circumstances...


“It’s delicious! Do you want to try?” she proposed, interrupting my analysis.


Well, even if she was a spy and this cake was actually poisoned, this was an offer I couldn’t turn down. Not after she was prepared to not only give, but feed me a piece.


I opened my mouth to signify my willingness and the girl kept her word.


As soon as the cake hit my tongue I could tell: it was the best cake I’d had in my life. Though, I heard being in love makes your senses sharper which, naturally, makes food taste better in the process. Maybe it was indeed my love, burning like an object of arson for Neri-nee and her impeccable cuteness, that made this particular cake taste like sweetness and lightning.


“You’re right, it’s amazing. I’m almost mad at myself for not ordering one”, I granted.


I couldn’t think of anything else to say; the near future became the past as I fell in a trance-like state, eyes mindlessly locked on the girl opposite me. Watching her continue eating with the same fork I had just put in my mouth might have awakened something in me: I had never understood flustering over indirect kisses but after experiencing one myself, I felt both enlightened and embarrassed.


"Hmm... It's surprisingly hard to find things to talk about when we're usually just working together. Is it okay if I ramble a little?", the redhead pondered.


She was probably starting to feel uncomfortable under my glazed gaze – at least I would’ve been creeped out.


"Sorry, of course. I'd be willing to listen to even the nastiest of gossip if it came from you. Though, I know you're not like that”, I incited.


"You know how Elise-chan has been really stressed lately? I don't know what the management is thinking, assigning her to do all that work without a moment's rest! I'm worried about her. I wonder if I could cheer her up by inviting her somewhere? She likes amusement parks, right?" she contemplated.


Elise was another character belonging to the unit Akacho. She was one of the most popular characters in the entire franchise, in fact, even more well-received than the unit leader Neri-nee herself. Because she was so favored, the ones in charge gave extra thought to her place in rotations to profit off of her producers: she had just had an SSR event and an SR gacha banner back-to-back, not to mention the ongoing summer login campaign that tied the hands of every idol’s producer.


It was like talking to the real Neri-nee – I was in awe. Hajime had become the exact idealized version of the character I had created in my head and my mind was refusing to accept the illusion.


"Sorry for breaking character but curiosity is killing me. How are you such a perfect Neri-nee?"


The girl just winked and placed her index finger on her lips as if to tell she couldn’t say. I knew it, she was a spy! She was too good to be true, always had been. What had I done to be subjected to this extreme surveillance?


"It seems like producer has heard enough about work. He's talking all weird! After you went through all this trouble to help me relax, I'm still out here worrying about other people... Sorry, I really appreciate everything you do for my sake. I won't even think about anyone else for the rest of the day, that's a promise!" she giggled.


As she lifted her pinky to add to the weight of her words, a butterfly landed on the corner of our table – it had most likely made its way inside from the terrace on a simultaneous door opening. It was dominantly red and had a pattern resembling a pair of eyes across all of its four wings.


“It’s a European peacock. It's kind of an odd name, given that we aren't in Europe. I'd love to go one day though! With the rising popularity of Akacho it might not be much short of becoming reality”, the girl admired.


I’d take you to Europe. I’d take you to Antarctica. I’d even take you to space with a self-made rocket.


"You know a lot! I'm impressed”, I commended.


"And I know more! Red butterflies are supposed to bring joy and peace to those who see them. Butterflies in general are known to symbolize transformation, hope and change. That's why we chose it as the symbol of our unit – becoming idols changed our lives. And of course, we want to bring joy and peace to whoever comes to see our shows”, she continued.


Hajime even remembered the lengthy analysis I gave on Akacho's etymology in the karaoke cubicle! I bet Iruka wouldn’t know that much even though he has heard the same lecture on the topic at least ten times.


"Now I’m all out of knowledge. Shall we go somewhere else? It's a nice day outside and I don't want to hoard the table for nothing", she suggested, pointing at her empty dishes.


I agreed and offered to pay for our refreshments, but we weren’t on the same page.


“You spoil me rotten anyway! I’ll have this one, your iced tea cost basically nothing anyway. Actually, I’d feel bad if you paid.”


I gave up without a fight because she was right and I didn’t like that. When it came to Neri-nee, I was certainly a generous spender.


“Is it okay if I excuse myself for a moment while you get the check? The iced tea seems to be getting to me”, I requested.


“Sure, I kept you waiting back at the plaza anyway. We’ll be even on every front then”, she smirked.


And so, I left to take care of my business. But little did she know, I wasn’t going to the toilet.