Insecurity.

April 25, 2060 - Fukuoka 3rd District - 9:45 am.

As Haruka-senpai requested of me, today I am to meet with "Hanami-san" who supposedly has a lot to say about the current state of the Academy I attend. I honestly could not catch up to anything they told me yesterday and this whole situation makes me nervous.
I always thought of Senpai as someone who wanted to avoid being involved in what happened around him, as well as one to limit all sorts of contact with other people. However yestderday I met these two beautiful women, and from my perspective they felt close enough to him as to call him by his first name and being able to interact with him casually, but as far as I remember, Haruka-senpai did not have any siblings.

I am not one to look into other's business too much but I can't help but worry when it comes to an acquaintance. That being said, he did not look boothered or cornered when talking with the two of them so I want to assume he is not in danger.
Another odd aspect in what I witnessed of his behavior yesterday was the fact he seemed very confident in that person's abilities, that is to say he must trust them. 

So far since I entered the Academy and was put under his care, I countlessly tried to lend him a hand whenever I felt like I could be of any help to him, even for the slightest things. And regardless of my repetitive attemps, senpai always seemed to put some distance between us when it occured. 
I told myself the reason for his cold attitude was that outside of his duty as an upperclassman, he would refuse to involve himself with the other students more than necessary, and I was able to push that speculation to a certainty across the last two years thanks to our regular meetings. But right now I can't bring myself to ignore the possibility he simply does not want  to trust me. 

"Heeeeey !"

I'm not really versed in romance, and love in general is not a subject I am too interested in, but I wonder if being like Hanami-san is what it takes to break through Haruka-senpai's walls. 
If so I think I am glad i was given the opportunity to learn more about her. 

"Good morning Hanami-san, thank you for going out of your way to meet me so early on a weekend while you are certainly a lot busier than I am."

"Morning ojou-chan, and don't sweat it. It's true that I am usually pretty busy however I would always make some time for a delicate lady such as yourself."

I don't know if she sounds like a gentleman or someone awkwardly trying to hit on me.
Regardless it certainly feels refreshing to talk with her.

"Sorry to cut down to the chase right off the bat but as much as I would like to treat you to some tea or even a meal, I doubt it would be safe to have our conversation in thoses places given the matter at hand. Which leads me to ask if it would be ok for you If we went on a ride instead ? I promise to treat you to dinner tonight in exchange."

"I would be lying if I told you it doesn't trouble me, since I know so little of you at the time being. But even so, I want to trust in senpai's judgement until the end so don't mind me too much and lead the way as you like."

"Well I would feel bad if I didn't ask at least. That being said, I like your attitude, your courage reminds me of Haruka's in fact. And I have to say I'm impressed to see so many youngsters paying this much attention to themselves and their surroundings while not giving up on their curiosity nevertheless. That is an important trait people tend to let down on the process of reaching adulthood.. Well not that I am that much older than the both of you, but i've had my fair share of experiences with people already so It relieves me to see you two being so promising."

"I am not sure how to react, but at least I am glad I did not give you a bad impression on our first meeting."

"Haha Don't worry you won't be able to make a worse impression than that of this guy anyway." 

"By "this guy" do you mean Haruka-senpai by any chance ?"

"Yeah, want me to tell you ?"

"Yes, in fact I would be interested to learn how he is around his other acquaintances. But I wouldn't want to take too much of your time either so it's fine if you do not want to."

"Haha you should try to loosen up a bit you know ? it's not good to worry too much about little things. Well I guess it's kinda insensitive from me to call your worries as such, however I still think you shouldn't waste your energy too much, or else it might fall short when you truly need it."

"..."

"Anyway I obviously don't mind to tell you about him but in exchange I want to hear some outstanding stories about him from your daily lives at the academy."

"I doubt to have anything like that in mind but I will try my best to find something entertaining to tell anyway."

"Sure."


I feel at ease.
We spent exactly three hours on the road but It felt like days. 
The first thing Hanami-san talked about was how she met senpai. He was thirteen at the time and she was sixteen. According to what he told her, he wasn't forcibly taken to this city which was a shock to her.
She did some research about his parents, which could have provided more clues for her to understand his situation, however she refused to elaborate any further. She only told me that I would not want to know if I had a good relationship going on with my parents. Which is the case, so I took her warning to heart.

However, the more I heard about her stories, the more I realised that what I had feared was the reality. Haruka-senpai does not act differently with people outside of school. 
Hanami-san was being rather harsh on her judgment but I could feel her discomfort as well. 
She acts tough and unhinibited on the outside, but she also worries and cares about the people she holds dear. To someone like her, senpai who doesn't show any kind of strong emotion while not seeming to be suppressing them, must be frustrating.

After their short exchanges, apparently she told him she wished one day she would be able to see him laugh wholeheartedly. And I can understand why.
On my hand there were not so many anecdotes I deemed worth mentionning but Hanami-san still wanted to hear about it so I told her how our study sessions would go, how I see him and lastly how hard it is for me to just stand there receiving his help and feel like I can't seem to have the means to do a single thing for him in return. To which she was more understanding than I thought she would be, telling me I should not hesitate to try and force my way through to him if respecting his distances won't work.
I do think she makes a great point, I thought. Although I can't help but dislike the idea of purposefully going against my nature and beyond his boudaries even if I harbor no ill-will.

Anyway this and that lead us to the main point of our meeting which concerned the academy. 
She told me about the students who happened to drop out and how they had to manage in case they did. I also learnt about those who could not bring themselves to either attend the academy or embrace freedom, and this was horrifying. 
To be completely honest I told her it was too sudden for me to process so much information and to come to a conclusion for myself, however considering how Haruka-senpai seemed to trust her, I would not dismiss the probability everything she said was the truth. 

Thus I still plan on going to school as I used to, but I want to think harder about why I am doing so and if that is the shortest way to take in order to reach my goal. 

By the way I also heard about the deal between Hanami-san and senpai and how he planned on dropping out from the academy most likely.
This was not too hard to swallow in comparison to everything else, although it still had its own aftertaste.


"Fwaah, that was a nice meal ! You're quite the guide when it comes to these things huh. 
Anyone would be delighted to have a date with you."

"Oh please this is not much really.. I did have a really good time as well accompanying you today. The ride was very soothing for some reason and I got to see more of this city than I have since I was born."

"Oh so your parents gave you birth here ?"

"Yes indeed."

"Then may I ask you why you decided to attend the academy ?"

"My Goal is to graduate from there with outstanding results and make myself known in order to enter a steady job that would earn me a fair amount of money. And when I reach a certain amount, I want to leave the city with my parents and my younger brother and try to help rebuild Tokyo."

"That's a marvelous amibition.. And now that we are on good terms I'd like you to keep in mind that you can rely on me if you ever need it. I may not look like it but I am a great figure of this city. Oh that's right, I never told you my name did I ? I am Ashikaga Hanami, heir of the Ashikaga household, directly at the Minamoto clan's service, or should I say disposal ? 
Anyway I have my fair share of influence and power regardless of the taboo tied to my inheritance, so feel free to use this relation if you are in trouble."

"Oh huh, understood, thank you very much.."

"Hahaha don't become so tense, I wouldn't want to waste a day worth of effort in trying to break the ice. Plus I don't really care about social status, more than anything I would love to erase that concept of hierarchy if I could."

"Understood I will try not to be either overfamiliar or too polite."

"Just be yourself, that's all I ask."

"..."

"Anyway it's getting dark, would you like to come have dinner with us or do you prefer I drive you home ?"

"I appreciate your offer but I think my parents will already have started preparing dinner so I will refuse for today."

"Got it, then let's bring you back home."

"Thank you."