Stress

Flesh and blood slowly spreads across the ground, the small lengths of muscle twitch with faint memories of life as it floats amidst the bones, and chunks of organs. Gravity does not wait to show it’s ever-present power calling the mass downwards. The mixing liquids flooding the street slip between stones, immersing itself in the dirt, which quickly turns to mud.

A glimpse of a little chitinous blade is the only sign, that there was more than one death here. The corpses of the insects are easily lost to the greater mass of the creature that killed them.

“Kyra.” Nel says my name firmly pouring a potion over my wounds, which quickly knit back together in an imperfect patchwork. I can’t spare any attention to it, my mind still swimming in the pooling blood before me, steaming a little in the cool air of this cavern that imitates night.

My lover tends to my wounds, but I can’t look her straight in the eyes. I feel lost, and numb, and a little bit broken. My heart still beats out a steady rhythm, but I can’t feel anything inside it.

This isn’t the worst tragedy that I’ve lived through, not by far. I committed a far worse slaughter against the siblings of these young bugs not even a day ago, justified or not. It hurts so much more deeply, right now with just the three of them dead.

It hurts so much worse because they were mine.

I’m meant to protect them. It’s the entire point of being powerful. It’s the very reason that I claim them as mine, it’s a promise that I can and will protect them.

But, I’m still so weak.

I can’t trust Arduelle or Frey to fight in my stead. They didn’t come, they didn’t protect us. I could scream and yell about the unfairness, I whine and moan, but it doesn’t matter. They didn’t stop this, and they won’t in the future.

“Before you start whining.” The message from Arduelle flitters into my mind. “I was observing, and you were never in any real danger. Not your lover, either. If you want me to protect every little bug that crawls in the vicinity of your throne, then I’ll have to refuse.”

I don’t feel angry, reading her words. Perhaps I should, but I don’t. While I demand her protection for myself and my family, others are relying on me in the same way.

This was my weakness, my failing.

I despise nature and her rules, survival of the fittest, might makes right, all the rest of the nonsense that I could consider hers. Yet, I can’t break her rules. The only way to stand up to the powerful is with power of your own, and whatever tricks I might use to win are simply indicative of my own strength. Whatever values I hold, can only be enforced through my own strength.

I can only protect people, if I find the power to stand up to the villains that would harm them. I can only survive if I can somehow challenge or escape from those villains that would harm me.

One day, eventually, I’ll be powerful enough to force others to live by my will, and my rules. Yet I only want for simple rules.

‘Don’t fucking murder each other’ sits at the top of that short list.

Unfortunately, the only way to stop a vicious idiot from breaking that rule is through force and violence. I have to force others into submission in order to stop the killing.

Power is what makes a god a god.

Power is what decides morality.

Why, even the kindest of pacifist moral codes are only ever given value because they come from the mouth of a person. A person who sits at the top of the food chain, speaking over the lions, the chimps, and the dolphins. Human morals are more important than those of animals purely because we have the power to enforce them.

“Kyra!” Nel snaps me back into reality, the swarm of little insects surrounding us worriedly. “Are you back? Are you okay? Is there something more going on?”

Her voice is high-pitched, and she speaks quickly, her eyes flicking back and forth as she looks for a threat that only exists in my own mind. The parts of me that are growing ever more self-destructive and looking eagerly to reduce the world itself to a whirling mass of magical nothingness.

“Just… more trauma, I suppose.” I answer her, feeling the blood on the ground seeping in through the wide splits in my shoes. The scar tissue feels a little numb.

The sight of my arms, more mangled scar than proper flesh, is so disgusting to me that I feel like throwing up. Everything is out of shape. Wrong.

I clench my teeth and let the nausea pass, focusing on the city streets and passing signs of war. The violence hasn’t yet fully passed, but it’s certainly under control now.

“Thank you for your assistance.” Grier says, finding enough strength to summon another of his faux insect bodies to speak with us. He seems to be burning through the last of his adrenaline, or whatever passes for it. He’s at the contradictory stage where there’s a clear weariness to him, but he remains sharp and ready.

“It’s nothing.” I reply. “Just a stupid attempt at letting loose and practicing my fighting. It was a rather sad effort, really.”

“It was, and you’re not going to do it again.” Nel says firmly, grabbing my head forcefully and pulling it down to face hers. “I will not lose you.”

Her words sound more like a threat, and the desperate anger burning in her eyes tells me that she’s not forgetting my recklessness and not letting me go unpunished. Shocks of pain run through my scalp as her fingers curl up and pull me closer, she presses a kiss on my lips. The warmth is a blessing, a reminder of what I still have to live for.

Her eyes glare in hatred of me, or more likely, my stupidity that’s surely wounded her heart as assuredly as I’d feel wounded seeing her in such a way as this. My own obsessive, possessive desire to keep her safe is only reflected back at me through her words and actions.

“I’m sorry.” I say, lowering my gaze and seeing only blood.

“Don’t be sorry. Just don’t… don’t come back like this again. If you have to fight, then fight at such an advantage that you won’t ever come back to me wounded again.” Her words are harsh and spoken without sympathy. The glare that she levels at me contains such a dangerous heat that I have to force myself to keep from looking away.

“This was to let out your frustrations, wasn’t it? It’s why you fought so recklessly, and let yourself be wounded? Is it the pain? Do you like pain or something?” her words cut like knives as tears drip down her face, she keeps her expression straight through it all.

“I… I don’t know.” I answer, feeling only a fog as I try to pry into my own intentions.

“Don’t.” She tells me, her mouth twisting into a heartbreaking frown for a moment and it feels like she’s going to break down, but she swallows it back. “I’m here. We’re here. There’s a million different ways to let out your frustrations, we’ll find something better than this stupidity.”

“Okay.” I answer. Nel catches me as I stumble a little, my blood loss not entirely repaired even by the potions used on me.

“Then let’s…” Her voice trails off as she receives the same call for help as I feel flood into my mind.

June. The gang member, who wasn’t really much of a gang member.

My sight pulls in close to see Leon and his group surrounding the gang, yelling, shouting, and drawing weapons on the group. Leon himself seems conflicted, holding his men back from anything too brash, and clearly frustrated.

The sharp words Nel spits as she takes in the same scene don’t fully translate, but Chip still transmits to me the vicious spite that they’re meant to convey.

“I’m coming.” I send to all parties involved. I don’t threaten them directly, rather I hope that my lessons with Arduelle have helped me carry threats in tone alone.

Nel and I step rather quickly towards the chaos, as we lecture our little adopted swarm, three smaller than it should be.

“I want none of you to interfere like that.” Nel says. “It was a worthless waste of life. You are here to be eyes and scouts, not throwing knives wasted against too strong a foe.”

I nod firmly in agreement with her, and hope that they’ll listen.

The streets we walk ought to be empty, but are instead filled with curious citizens, all armed and ready for a fight. Some are looking to defend their properties; others are just glancing about to see if it’s all over. The people near Leon and his rowdy gang are all huddled in their homes instead.

“Stop.” I say, stepping between the two aggreged factions. One of the gang members is bleeding from a wound that looks more serious than it probably is, Nel quickly applies a potion regardless.

“They attacked us out of nowhere!” June, the cute girl that introduced us to her little faction, is the first to approach me.

“They’re the scoundrels behind all of this!” The second accusation comes from one of Leon’s buddies. The same man that I took notice of before, with the bald head covered in scales.

“Doubtful.” I answer before he can press on any further. “They’re not the sort, they’re all too pitiful, and lack the spirit for it. What’s more, I’d like to push that matter aside for a moment, because, where the fuck were all of you a second ago?

“The town was being besieged, if you were paying any attention to the matter, and-… One second.” A cry for help comes quick from Irulei and Greenwitch both. “It seems I have to deal with more assassins.”

Through the eyes of the guards around the two leaders, I can see the assassins quite clearly. The guardsmen have done well to hold the killers back and identify them before anyone was harmed.

Through borrowed eyes around the city, I can make a reasonable judgement of distances, and positions. Though it’s a little more difficult to be pinpoint accurate here, I do have a few tricks to help me hit my targets regardless. I don’t have much time to waste on hesitation, so I quickly start pressing my intent into the magic that I stir in my altered heart.

I spare half a mind to ensure that we’re safe where we stand in the streets while I plan out my attack, considering what stands between me and the targets.

When the magic is ripe, I cast it out into the distance, a pair of condensed annihilation bolts fold in on themselves forming flickering lines that quickly fade. Each fly to a spot in the city where I can see them before diverting to the next. The amount of control I can exert on my released magic has improved a little, but it’s still not as good as I’d want it to be. The spell crosses half the city, before piercing the walls of the mansion and spreading out into an ashen net, catching the assassins as they rush towards their targets.

Red slush, with the consistency of an uncooked stew, slops onto the ground, covering some of the guards, but leaving Irulei and her lord unharmed. Some of the guards aren’t doing quite so well. Irulei quickly leaps to her nearest wounded attendant to try and save them, and I leave her to it.

“Well, that’s taken care of.” I say, returning to the stand off. “It seems the assassins had eyes for Irulei and Greenwitch, too. A good thing that you were here picking on a gang of reckless volunteers, whose antiestablishment rhetoric they spread while cleaning the streets and feeding the homeless. Seriously, I don’t know how this city would’ve survived without your help.”

Leon grits his teeth tight, and I’m sure that my sarcasm is communicated clearly and without issue. Nel nods slowly in agreement to my words and stands at my side. The insect kids still surround us gazing at all the threats, all a little too much ready to step in.

If any of them get themselves killed…

“If they are the culprits behind this, then they were planning to use this as a distraction. It seemed like a smart move to make.” Leon says weakly, chagrined at his own failures.

“We need to take them down quickly before they do anything else.” Leon’s guard says energetically stepping into the conversation.

“We’re not going to fight.” I say with firm words. “You’re all going to explain this situation to me, and then I’ll decide what happens. So, why are you here bothering these rebels?”

“We’re following up on evidence that suggests that this gang is associated with the republic. Having you and the Arch monarchy at odds would favour their faction greatly.” Leon explains, keeping his calm and looking between us.

“What nonsense.” Ken, the leader of the gang by name alone, rejects the accusations and seems to mean every word of it. I really need to get better at reading people through the translator.

“That man is a known agent of the republic, they infiltrate caverns to stir up discord, just like this.” Leon’s bald protector says, standing up straight and leveling his gaze at us. He speaks with just as much certainty and confidence.

“A known agent?” Nel asks, summoning a frown and sharpening her gaze towards the accuser. I quickly back her up.

“So, what? You saw a wanted poster and decided to bring him in? Why do you recognise him as an agent?”

“Leon is a prince, of course we’re educated on these matters.” The man says, defending himself with a rather sensible point, but even Leon seems thoughtful, unwilling to defend his man just yet.

“That just makes you the most suspicious out of all of us.” Nel says. “This gang here is… rather incapable of any terrorist action. I rather doubt that this man, even assuming he’s an agent of the republic, has the resources necessary to do something like this. You on the other hand…”

“My prince. You have to say something.” The man says, hiding behind Leon yet again, but the prince stares down at his own shadow while deep in thought.

“Kyra. I would ask that you would offer a pardon to an associate of mine.” Leon says. His words are as surprising as they are offensive.

“They tried to kill us.” Nel says, a step ahead of me. “They sent an army of beasts here without care for the civilians that could’ve been killed…”

“You misunderstand.” Leon says. “I know a potential witness, who might be able to bring this matter to a close, but I would like for your assurance that you will not harm them.”

“Why would I kill them?” I ask, stepping closer to Leon.

“They served Loekan in the war against you, though I can assure you that they have no intentions of starting any further conflicts with you.” He answers me, standing straight and meeting my eyes.

“Fine.” I reply. “If they try to harm me or my family again, all deals are off, however.”

He nods.

“You can come out now.” He says, his shadow quickly lengthening and deepening as something crawls out. No, it’s the shadow itself moving with a life of its own.

“The shadow… so you didn’t die with Loekan.” She was his spy, and she tried to get in the way of my spell as I killed her boss, so I thought it had killed her too. It seems as though she survived.

She doesn’t reply, quivering with rage of all things. Chip is rather clear on that point.

Leon kneels down to whisper to her, and everyone else just stands idly by, waiting for some new development to this tense stand-off.

The local gang is already forming up around June, and leaving behind their past leader, the man suspected to be a political agent. Whatever arguments they have against him aren’t my concern, however. With June by my side, the rest gather close to me as well, and I can only hope that there are no traitors among them.

“She’ll lead us to someone in the city who should know more.” Leon says, giving us nothing more as he follows the shadows through the street. Ken, the agent from the republic, is dragged along by sheer force of intimidation. Until we know who was responsible, he’s not escaping us.

His own gang the most enraged at these terrorist actions out of all of us. They’re locals who care about the lives of their families and friends, volunteers that run about to help their neighbours. The rest of us are visitors, and while I’m livid over the deaths of the innocent insect kids, I can feel a similar disquiet from the gathered gang members at the suffering their whole town is being put through.

The culprit isn’t going to get away lightly.

We push through the city streets, and quickly surprise a hooded man who’s clearly trying to hide from us. His mandibles click as he stands there on four of his six legs, too nervous to even greet us.

“Tell me who was behind this plot and do not lie.” Leon says, standing tall as he steps up to the man, a dark shadow floating over his expression. “You are an agent of the Monarchy, are you not?”

“I am, your highness.” He bows low, looking not only at us, but the rest of the townsfolk nearby. A few look at the man in surprise, or betrayal. “But your question confuses me.”

“How so?” Leon asks.

“My prince… I was under the impression that we were working under your orders.” As he says as much, the bald man who’s stood by the princes side this whole time, pulls out a heavily enchanted knife. He turns towards me, and crosses the distance in a flash, slashing at me before I can lift an arm.

Thankfully, I don’t need to.

A bolt of annihilation slices through the air between us and strikes the man in the head. The magic cuts through a few defensive magics, before running rampant and mincing everything inside of his skull.

More powerful people like this are trouble for all the mana they have protecting them, and it seems that armour and enchantments only makes it worse. I was hoping it would be enough to scatter his entire head, but at least he still falls dead from it.

My eyes turn to something glowing bright in his other hand, slipping to the ground at my feet. A small crystal glows bright with overwhelming magic, that it cannot contain for long, possibly even fed by the corpses mana just as the man died.

There’s no time to do anything, as the crystal flashes, ready to explode. I prepare my defensive Skills and grab Nel tight to try and protect her from the magic.

“Oh, not so fast.” Arduelle appears in a flash, picking up the small bomb and sending it away with a klick of her fingers.

“So, you are watching out for me, at least a little.” I say, sighing in relief and slowly releasing Nel from my arms. She’s a little bruised from my forceful actions, but she smiles warmly to communicate that she’s alright.

“Do you want me to collar you up and keep you as a pet until you’re fit for the role, I have in mind for you?” Arduelle asks me rather suddenly, and while there’s no change in her tone from her usual dignity, I can feel the anger rolling through her words. “I can, you know? I’ve allowed you your freedom, to play your little games, and live your little life down here, but all you seem to do is complain about it. So fine, do you want me to keep you as a pet? I can take in all your little strays as well, if you so insist, and protect them too.”

I only consider her offer for a moment, before my very soul rejects it in its entirety. I cannot handle the thought of being caged and kept as a pet, locked away from danger, sure, but from everything else the world and universe has to offer as well.

“Thank you for saving us.” I say, bowing my head and gritting my teeth. I flinch at her words, my insides twisting up as I suppress the emotions raging through my gut. The numbness and rage. I’ve lashed out at her and others because of these emotions, failing to think, or sympathise with her perspective.

I still hate that she’s not saving everyone.

I still hate that I can’t save everyone.

But lashing out doesn’t change anything for the better. I need to be better than that.

“That’s not even nearly good enough.” Arduelle says. “You nearly got yourself killed fighting a bunch of weak beasts just because you’re in a bad mood, and nearly got your own lover involved in your recklessness.”

“Nel was safe back here.” I reply.

“Do you think she was going to just stand there and watch you kill yourself? I can imagine the only thing holding her back from joining your reckless idiocy was the children she carries. God help them if this is the sort of mother they have.”

I have a million different excuses.

I’m traumatised.

I’m in shock.

I don’t know anything that’s going on, and I don’t know what to do about any of it.

None of that makes this situation any better.

None of that make my reckless actions any more meaningful.

“Arduelle.” Nel says, pulling the larger woman to a stop. “Let me recriminate her later, please.”

I can feel no mercy in her tone, and her words are enough to give even this tall goddess pause.

Arduelle nods, looking around at the wide-eyed stares surrounding her, before shaking her head and teleporting out again.

“So that’s all dealt with then?” I ask, meeting Leon’s eyes as I straighten myself out. My torn clothes threaten to come apart and reveal more than I’d like to, including all of the scars. Just thinking of mangled tissues covering me sends a shudder through me, but I press it back down.

“I… think so.” Leon replies. “I’ll make sure no one else was involved.”

“I’ll leave that to you.” I say, as Nel turns her eyes back to me promising punishment. “I think that I have some lessons to attend to.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Skills & Stats

~Mana Form:

Current mana density: 15708 units

~Mana distribution:

Defence: 20/100%

Offense: 20/100%

Mana sense: 20/100%

Recovery: 20/100%

Gluttony: 10/100%

Misc.: 10/100%

Efficiency: 100/100%

~Favourited Skills:

-Tag and Film

-Trapping

-Stealth

-Mana surge movement

-Annihilation defence

-Annihilation flame burst

-Annihilation net

-Eyes of an Empire

Adaptions:

-Quick perception mind

-Annihilation Heart

-Clean bowels