I need to get my shit together ASAP

How do you even know he is thinking about you?
He might be flirting with some cute girl at his school or dating someone,your presence never stopped him before,how can your absence do that!?
How can you be so pathetic as to cry over a guy who isn't even thinking about you?


Yes your life is a mess,yes your grades are excruciatingly embarrassing and yes you should be ashamed of crying over someone who yapped around you for 4 years like a lovesick puppy.

Where is the girl who once resided in this cringey body?
Where is the strong willed,fierce,determined,amazing personality that the girl once possessed?
Why do you ask yourself if you are pathetic when you know the answer is yes?

What you also know is that you can change the answer to a strict no.
Stop crying over the boy like a pathetic teenage girl.
Yes he was into you,every part of you,yes he respected you,yes he loved you and highly admired you,yes he came back to you again and again.

But,now he is miles away and missing him is not going to bring him back.

If you don't want to,then don't look for someone else,cage your heart away...when the time is right, maybe the boy and you will meet again and maybe it'll be better.


Start getting up at 5 again
Yes it didn't do any good the last time you tried it.. but what option do you have?
You cannot stay up till 2 or 3 anymore..
And you sure as hell cannot give up because giving up is not something that you'd do.giving up is for the weak willed,something you are not.
You are determined.
You want to make your parents proud.
You want to earn by yourself,fend for yourself,protect yourself.
You are your own savior.
You have dreamt of dreams,dreams that will only be fulfilled if you follow the proper path,do sacrifices and practice extensive hardwork.


These 2 years,nothing matters,nothing other than your chance to go into the best institute there is.
Your chance to live a good,a happy life.
Your chance to be independent,your chance to be uncommon.

Yes,you will fall,yes you will fail,yes sometimes things may not seem to work..
But hardwork sure as hell pays off
And one thing you are,is hardworking.
So work hard
Stop thing about that boy who is busy making his career,do not hate him for it because it is no use,you love him and wish him well and he sure reciprocates the feelings,maybe not of love but of care..he is a well wisher of yours and you guys had a thing,
But now it's over and what's left is just a memory,a fragment
Keep the memories for they make you happy
Do not try to forget them for you will regret it later.

What you should do is work hard,work hard not with the motive of reuniting with him again,but with the motive of making everyone who believed in you,proud.
For being able to live independently.
For being able to travel the whole world
For being able to be looked up to
For inspiring your little sister


You can do it
And you will do it

Yours truly,
Your subconscious
The better you