The hard decision

I sat there listening to Dr Sayid feeling confused because it was my first time listening about my parents. I was very fascinated by the way they travelled the world to studying together doing research work even I had dreamed about travelling the world when I was smaller but there was no time for me to get fascinated. After listening to everything Dr sayid had said and learning about this illness I have I couldn’t think straight and the major fact remains that I might die within the next two years this was not the type of birthday gift I was expecting. Today I woke up thinking I was gonna have the best birthday of my life and by the end of the day I find out about my parents whom I have not known for my whole life and I find I have a parasite living inside of me which from the billions of people around the world choose to live in side me and to top it off all I have more or less 2 years to live. Thinking about all these things hitting me at the same time I felt a grievous frustration my mind became very much tense then suddenly I felt my chest starting to hurt It was like something was poking it .As the pain started i could feel that there was something else there I began to hear people talking outside the room not just one or two but I could hear lots of voice coming from outside I could hear the patients talking in their rooms the nurses walking in the hallway machines beeping all over the hospital I could here the relatives of patient talking to doctors doors being opened .I tried to make sense of the voice that came from every in confusion I looked at Dr sayid but I seemed to me like he as speaking on the slower tone it seemed as though he was trying to say “Are you fine Edward” but the world seemed like they came very slow to me I could see his mouth moving at a very slow rate I could see this lips move as he mumbled every one of those word it as as though a sloth was trying to move. I could even feel the blood that that flowing through my body, working of every organ working inside my body, my heart beating, my lungs expanding and contracting the air coming in and going out. It was my first time experiencing such things I got scared I stood up and grasped the wooden trunk box that was in Dr sayid desk I pressed it tightly with fear of not understanding what was going on eventually I calmed down the pain in my chest went down and every thing was back to normal. I looked at Dr Sayid I saw he had a shocked expression on his face I guess it was the first time I saw any a new expression on this face other that that serious look. He was looking at my hands with a very shocking eyes as I looked toward my hand I was also shocked the wooden trunk box that I previously took from his desk was crushed in my hands it was a pretty hard wooden trunk box in which Dr sayid kept pens, watches while he was working at the hospital. I couldn’t believe that I had crushed a wooden box with my bare hand which is very hard to crush even after hitting it real good with a hammer. I was confused and told Dr sayid that just happened to me he said that it might have been caused by the all the confusion frustration that I was feeling and somehow it triggered the parasite and caused my senses to elevate. I realized that every thing my father that wrote on that paper was true I was still hoping that it might just have been his hypothesis but after what I experienced now I was certain that the things written in that paper was very much true and it might it certain that I might die in the coming next year even Dr sayid agreed with me. I wished that there was more to the paper that Dr sayid found saying more about the origin of this illness how are people infected by it and if there is a way to cure this. Listening how my dad was from Dr sayid I am sure that he had found much more about this illness and this findings of his might have been related to my parents disappearance if only I knew if were they were or they were still alive.

We were now talking for some time now and Annie was alone in the next room sleeping I thought that I should wake her up and tell her that I was fine. I asked to Dr sayid that whether she knew anything about this illness he said that she doesn’t know anything about it so, I asked Dr sayid not to tell her anything about it. We said her that I just fainted from having a low blood sugar level and I would be fine and she should not have to worry about anything. She looked very happy to see me up again said that if I was felling fine we should return home and finish the birthday we were having so, from there we returned to the house Dr sayid also came with us as he seemed worried that I might have the same experience I had while were we in this office and didn’t want to startle Annie and make her worried. We reached home the smell of all the food Annie had was still. I was feeling so much hungry form the day that I had toady that I started eating as soon as we reached home every thing tasted so much delicious. It was not the birthday that I was hoping for but it still turned out to be good as we all were still together so, I to tried to forget the day that I had and tried to enjoy the moment. We had the food talked for some time and decided to call it a day before going to bed Annie again wished me Happy Birthday I thanked her for making this day so much memorial and special. We all needed rest so I said to Dr sayid that we should talk more the next day and we all went to bed. It wasn’t my best birthday but I wasn’t my worst either.

The next day began what happened the day before just seemed like a dream to me but I wish it was a dream I still feel a mild pain in the chest. I could feel that there was something there I felt like how a bug feel when it starts climbing over your body. I tried to grasps everything that had happened the day before a recollecting all those information started making me worried I started to think that what if I really die within 2 years what will Annie to after I was gone. From all he thoughts I started having how will Annie react was constantly bugging my head.We have been together all this time and what will she do after she finds that the little boy whom she has been taking care for all her life suddenly dies it would break. Its not easy for a parents to see their children die before them and also for the reasons that are very hard to believe. I thought that there might be some way to cure this and get rid of this parasite given the history of this illness is as long as the history of humans itself it is hard to believe that there is no cure for it and if the cure really exists then one man certainly knows it and that man was my dad. After thinking about it the whole morning I went to Dr sayid to find out if he remembers anything more about what he read that day in the paper that my father wrote. He said that everything he read in those papers he had already told me and if he remembers anything more he would definitely tell me. I asked him to stay there for some days if he remembers something and also to look after me as I might have the experience that I had in his hospital and I needed his help to prevent that from happening. For the next couple of days Dr sayid stayed over at ours and tried to remember if he had missed any information to give me. I also tried to keep myself from panicking and frustrating as it would trigger the parasite and I might have another episode so, I tried to keep my calm and think about what to do next but it was hard to keep clam i kept thinking about the little time I had left about what I should do what would Annie feel. I would have those inhuman experiences I previously had more that twice a day sometimes. Every time it happened I could feel the severe pain in my chest the same power boost in all my senses this time I would keep myself from breaking anything as some days passed these things started happening less frequently it was not that my frustration had gone but I got the habit of living with his frustration. Even after thinking for all this days I could not come up with a single way to deal with the problem I was facing and each day gone by was the day I missed being with Annie because of what had happened I have not talked with Annie much I was always in the house with Dr sayid trying to figure out what to do next but we could not come up with anything just sitting there. I was not even able to help her around the store before I used to handle everything in the store but now she has been doing everything herself. She must been worried after I had collapsed and seeing me worried so she tried to do every thing herself. Sometimes I even thought about forgetting trying to cure me and thought that I should spend the time I have left with Annie rather than trying to find some cure that didn’t even existed but I if Annie find out that had even a small chance of finding a way to cure myself that her would want me to take it also I didn’t wanted her to see me die it would be more painful for her to see me die that to die herself and I couldn’t do that to her. I had to find a way to fix myself and be by her side for the years that we had ahead of us I wanted to give her a happy memory a memory where we lived happily rather than a memory where she had to grief for my loss.it was then when I made my mind that anything happens I wouldn’t let Annie see my death. Then I talked to Dr sayid that I wanted to cure myself by any means necessary and was willing to do anything DR sayid that the if I had any chance of curing myself would be to find the missing paper s of my dads research or to find my dad instead. Thinking about what Dr sayid said I made my mind that I myself had to go out and find what happened to my parents what happened to their research and what this parasite really was. Only if I went around the world like my parents did then only I would find out the reason why I was infected from this parasite if there are others peoples like me infected by this trying to find the cure like I am and also to find the reason for my parents disappearance. I told Dr sayid that I wanted to go around the world to find the cure myself rather than sitting at the house feeling frustrated all the time. He also agreed with me that rather that sitting what to do next we should go and find out ourselves, I said that I alone was going but he insisted to go with me after some convincing I said that if we bought head out right now then there would be no one to look after Annie so I alone should go as it was me who was infected and I should be me who finds out the cure and you should stay with Annie until I return back. After a very long time of convincing Dr sayid he finally agreed of me of going and said that he had a idea where I should start my adventure. He asked if I had opened the birthday present he had given to me. I was so much occupied with what was going on that I completely forgot to open the gift that he had given me.I went to my room and opened the gift that he had given me I was like a hand written log and there the name of places from around the log. Dr sayid said that it was the log diary of the places that he and my parents had went during their time together and he said that he had written it during their journey in the early days before he had split and meant to give it to me at my birthday and tell me about my parents in a happy situation rather that what the situation became and I had to know about them at the hospital. I had now made up my mind and also had a travel log to where I should begin my journey from as It seemed reasonable to track the route my parents took and follow on them to find the truth about this situation.

All these were the easy part before starting my journey the real hard part was to tell Annie that I was going to leave her alone for some time and start a journey all alone.

I was not sure how to tell Annie how am I supposed to say that I am going to leave her to go on a journey from which there is no certainty I will return. In the time when I was supposed to support her help I was going to leave her alone. I couldn’t think of any word I could say to her that would make it easier for both of us. For the next two days I was avoiding her I couldn’t face her every time I saw her I could think that how am I going to say goodbye to her. Sometime I even thought about leaving without telling her but it would be wrong to her and she deserved to know I thought so as I was going to tell her she came to me.