What is Love?

SELF LIFE

A chill breeze brushed Rhea’s face. His eyes were forced open by the freezing temperature to find themselves surrounded by darkness. He was lying over a bunch of black clothes piled on top of each other, with a tattered hoodie being used as a blanket. He sat up, looking around to find that beneath the darkness he was inside a large room with black walls, similar to a repair shop. The middle of the room even had some sort of machinery used to lift cars and other heavy objects. There were various tables pushed against the walls that were overflowing with different kinds of electronics, cables, and odd-looking tools. The little of the floor he could see was stained in black and dark grey sticky puddles.

“Menide!” Rhea shouted in the darkness, remembering what had happened before he lost consciousness. But when his voice finished echoing around the room, silence fell back to take its place.

“Menide?” Rhea repeated himself, this time with a softer voice. Nothing changed.

He got up and began walking around, careful not to accidentally bump into anything, hugging the wall in search of a door. His hand reached a button, which he unknowingly pushed, and a wide side of the wall began rising into the ceiling. A strong wind entered from the opening, sliding down the slope facing it. The cloudy sky came to face him when he stepped outside. He was in the countryside, surrounded by bushes and small trees, his feet walking on gravel. No trace of the building he was in, which was entirely hidden underneath a small hill.

Rhea’s hand touched a tree. It was a surprising sensation. The tree’s bark was coarse and full of creases, and his hand produced a faint scraping sound as he simply brushed it up and down. Suddenly, a small piece of the dark brown bark came off. Rhea caught it with his other hand. Only where the bark had fallen, the tree had become pale, a bright lake in a dark land. What a weird thing.

A whirring sound came from behind him, making him drop the bark in surprise. The door to the garage was closing by itself. Rhea was unsure whether he should’ve stayed outside or gotten back in, and in his uncertainty, the garage took the choice for him. The door closed with bang.
Waking around the hill Rhea found that the bike they had used to reach Kirk’s island was sitting on the ground. Mostly destroyed, its body was filled with dents, and a line of smoke came out of it.
The city shone behind him. He turned around, looked at the path ahead, and began walking.

Many minutes later, the city was still in the distance. But coming to aid him, just outside its borders, were the slums, where Menide’s house resided. There wasn’t any coherence in the way the buildings or streets were built. It was a maze of derelict houses and rusty metal.
The slums weren’t as big as Koita, but the number of people living in them far exceeded the main city. Rhea walked past a group of children chasing each other around the rusting carcass of a jet, half hidden under the ground, when he suddenly felt his shirt being pulled at from behind. He jerked his body around and found a little girl staring at him, her arms retracted, scared by Rhea’s sudden movement.

“Bato? Bato! Do you remember me? I’m Rhea! What are you doing here?”

“Aren’t you the kid that was with Menide?” A mature voice approached him. Bato quickly hid behind her mother as she reached them.

“You’re Rikku! What are you still doing here, I thought you were going to move?”

“I wish we had the money to just move as we pleased." She said while her eyes fantasized about a better life. "But never mind us, how come you’re on your own? Where is Menide?”

“I was actually looking for them. One moment we’re together and the next I have no idea of where they could be.”

“That sounds like Menide, doesn’t it?” Rikku let out a chuckle. “Actually, there are a bunch of people asking for them, you know? They're very tall and the people around here don't know how to contain themselves when asking for help. Orto wanted them to hold a sheet of metal while he fixed the roof of his house… Contro had to refill the well with drinkable water and needed an extra pair of hands… oh and Shifu! They've spent the past weeks trying to convince Menide to babysit their children while they're away! Although, Menide has had no trouble refusing them, so it isn't that urgent.”

“I didn’t know Menide was so requested.”

“Right? I wouldn’t go as far as saying that they make the slums a good place to live in, but this place would certainly be in worse conditions without them.”

Rhea had already caught a hint of Menide’s kind nature, but now he was all the more convinced: he needed to find them.

“Could you tell me the way to Menide’s house? I might find a hint to where they are there.”

“You saved my daughter’s life, the least I can do is go with you. C’mon, Bato, stay close to mama!”

The curtain that covered the house’s only door was barely hanging on the doorframe. Rhea entered the house to find it dark and empty. There wasn’t much to begin with, but now even the few medicines and tools were missing. Menide had definitely been here before, but no one had seen them come or leave.
Rhea started thinking of a way to find them, trying to understand how Menide’s mind worked. He couldn’t quite figure it out, but realized that if they had a plan, and even more if they were angry, then the news would probably know about it. He began searching for the foldable screen he had used the other day. Rikku and Bato also decided to help him out. They looked behind the mirror and moved a small cabinet, but only found dust and small insects.
Rhea then decided to lift the mattress and finally found the device hidden underneath it. He went to grab it when a small item dropped from a hole in the bed. A flat box in a “V” shape: one of the internal sides had lines of metal that could be stricken with fingers, while the other had circles of different sizes.

“A dykher?” Rikku grabbed the metallic item.

“What’s that?” Bato asked excitedly.

“It’s a musical instrument," Rikku brought it close to Bato's face and tapped the sides. "One hand plays the keys, they are tied to small strings inside of the box, and the other hand taps these circles, making the sound of small drums." She rose up still lightly tapping the drums. "I didn’t know Menide could play it.”

“Let me see it.” Rhea grabbed it and stared at it. The back was adorned in a musical pattern, with notes and other shapes intertwining each other. He was sure this was Menide’s.

“Let’s turn on the news.” He said after a brief pause.

A video in low-resolution began playing on the screen of the foldable tv. Images of a MADAM office building surrounded by Ogun trucks were broadcasted live by a drone, as the chimera threw servers and computers out the windows and into the street. The news talked of a terrorist attack that had been going on for almost an hour. The Ogun forces hadn’t been able to stop the chimera and were waiting for reinforcements.

“That chimera is acting up again, uh?” said Rikku.

"Why are they attacking an office?" Rhea thought aloud. He knew that Menide gained nothing from attacking a random office building. They wouldn’t cause such chaos if it wasn’t for a just reason. Just in their eyes, at least...

"It's a terrorist," said Rikku, "Who knows what goes on through their twisted mind."

Rikku dismissed the issue. Menide's mind wasn't twisted, it was angry. Their uncontrollable feelings rampaged inside their body, born from the failure of their previous mission. But wasn't that a human response? Over the top, dramatic even, but that was just how humans were.

“I can see where the office is on the eyedeas’ map,” Rhea said to himself, determined to help his friend, “But it would take too long to reach by foot.”

"Why would you want to go there?"

“Come!” Ignoring her mother, Bato suddenly grabbed Rhea’s hand and began pulling him outside the house.

“Sweety, right now he’s busy, he doesn’t have time to play!” shouted Rikku, following them outside.
Bato didn’t stop, and the two kept on running until they reached her house. She let him go and went on the back, coming out a few seconds later with a kick scooter, a purple helmet and a small backpack of the same color. The scooter hovered a few centimeters above the ground, ready to speed off.

“Help Menide.” Said Bato, handing him the backpack and helmet. Rhea looked her in the eyes with surprise, but accepted her help with a smile. He put it on and put the dykher in the backpack.

“Thank you! I promise that I’ll bring Menide back safe and sound!” He said while hopping on the scooter.
Bato ran closer, gave him a peck on the cheek and then immediately pushed the scooter towards the road. Rhea could hear Rikku screaming at him in the distance as she huffed and puffed, but he had already opened up the map to the office, driving as fast as he could.

***

Menide pushed their gorilla arm forward. Their fist flew towards the head of the custodian in front of them, but his arms, turned into long and thick whips, put themselves between him and the hit, reducing the impact of the attack. By instinct, Menide turned around ready to hit him with the other arm, forgetting that it had become an orange goop the day before. Noticing their mistake, the custodian whipped both his arms at Menide, leaving a crack in their visor.

Menide shot at him with the small guns installed in their lower arms. The custodian dodged and went back to attack with his whips, but this time Menide was ready to answer them and rapidly lifted their foot, which still had enough talons to grab the whips, and tugged the custodian towards their punch. The custodian flew next to the hole that once was a wall-wide window, his nose bleeding profusely. Menide walked up to him and readied their next hit.
But a bright light collided with their colossal arm and pushed it away.
Rhea flew in from the building, crashing onto Menide as a scooter flew off in the distance.

“What are you doing!?” Menide screamed, “How did you even get here?”

“I used my magnetic field to launch myself up here. What are you doing?” he angrily pointed at Menide.

“Are you here to stop me? Get lost, I don’t have anything to do with you anymore.” Menide pushed him away. They got up and approached the custodian, still unconscious. Another beam hit them from behind.

“I won’t let you kill an innocent person!” Rhea screamed, pointing his finger at them.

“Why do you care? It’s not even alive.”

“Stop lying to yourself!” Rhea’s teary eyes shone under the broken lights of the office. “You say that you don’t care, but in reality there are still lots of things you care about! You saved me, and even if it was just to get information, you still don’t want me to suffer or fight, you want me to have a good life! Then there’s Gedis, and Bato, Rikku, all the people living in the slums! You help them with all you can without asking for anything back. You say they’re all machines, that your feelings are fake, but you still love people, and want everyone to live in a better world! You are lying to yourself when you say that your feelings are fake!”

Menide stared at him, not knowing how to answer. Never in their life were they more full of doubts, but Rhea was confident. Confident that in the few things Menide believed to know about themselves, they were wrong.

“Didn’t you hear Kirk? There are no humans! What am I supposed to do now?!” Menide answered with feelings of anger in their words, but was still hesitant.

“You can’t be sure!” Rhea was certain, “There might be some survivors somewhere on the planet, or maybe there is still some information that we’re missing, I’m sure that the Custody would know!”

“I’m not that strong…” Menide almost whispered.
But before Rhea could answer, all the doors leading to the room burst open. Dozens of Ogun officers came in, led by multiple custodians.
Bullets flew over them, instantly filling the room. Rhea activated his shield, but a custodian jumped on him with his hands spread out and let out an electric shock that pinned him to the ground. Menide made their way to him, pushing away all the guards that tried to stop them, and with a punch sent the custodian flying through the wall. They grabbed Rhea and jumped off the building, followed by a trail of bullets that homed towards them as they fell. Rhea woke up and started using his shield to deflect the shots. Menide bounced off an Ogun truck and sped away on their three limbs. Ogun cars and custodians were looking for them, forcing Menide in dark, back alleys and convoluted paths. It wasn't their first time running away from the Custody, they knew the best way to lose them. Stopping between two especially rusty houses, Menide reared up and punched the ground below them with all their might. The pavement caved in and let them through to the sewer system below.

Menide and Rhea were out of the city before the Custody could track them.

***

Menide was sitting on a log as they applied the last of their healing gel on some of the wounds that their rampage got them. On the other side, sitting in front of a poorly lit fireplace, Rhea was doing his best to warm himself with Menide’s half torn cape resting on his shoulders. No wind disturbed the flames. The trees around them were quiet.

“What pushes you to help me?” Menide decided to break the silence. “I left you inside our base because I didn’t want to just use you. I wanted you to be free. Why have you come back?”

“You're not using me, we're helping each other! You are a fighter, fighting for the truth and freedom, and I'm your sidekick!”

“I wish I had your confidence. I just don’t feel those strong emotions that you feel.”

“I know for a fact there are things you feel strongly about!” Rhea took off the cape and grabbed the dykher from the small backpack on his back. Menide looked at it in surprise but didn’t say anything.

“I found it in your house, under the bed. The fact you have this is a symbol of your feelings. After all, you can't have music without strong feelings!” Rhea began hitting the metal keys and bumping his fingers on the circles on the other side, letting out a random series of sounds that could not manage to resemble a symphony.

“…I don’t know any songs.”

“Gimme that!”

Menide snatched the instrument from Rhea’s hands and started playing it. They fitted their thumbs on round spots at the sides of the box and began rapidly moving their fingers. One hand tapping on the different sized circles, each finger producing a different bang, the other hand clicking on the metal keys, generating a melancholic melody of strings being struck. The sound resonated inside the box.
Menide began singing,

“A protest in protest takes the eyes off the dead.
Doesn't matter what you think of it, it's already past.
It strikes, it hurts, turns to fire and dust,
All that remains is the same, old, silence.
You see the lightning,
You don’t hear the thunder.
Buy my CD on the online store,
Repeat the cycle forevermore.
God or lack thereof,
Still the same need.
But if you fill that need with greed,
You put shackles on everything.
Don't matter what they make you think,
Think for yourself and you'll be freed!
“Down with capitalism" shirts,
buy two and you will get one for free.
You know what I am here for:
Hellish fun ride where the torture makes you laugh.
A paradise of emptiness thrown at you till you crack.
Hellish fun ride where the torture makes you laugh.
A paradise of emptiness thrown at you till you crack.”

The melody stopped, together with Menide’s voice, leaving the two in silence.

“My old job,” Menide began speaking in a soft voice, “Had me working 14 hours a day. And that’s the norm, I only realized how insane that is after I quit. They justify it by saying that using the eyedeas you can work even when “relaxing”, like in the bath or while working out, since you don’t need to use your hands. That’s very stupid, but I didn’t want to talk about that. I chose that job because it said it would be the best fit for me in a test they made me take in high school. I didn’t even want to try it. It was a boring accounting job, while in that period I was really into this instrument right here.” Menide began lightly tapping the metallic keys.

“My parents called me lazy and told me that playing the dykher was useless, since it didn’t bring me any money. I was already putting some songs online, but no one cared about them. I decided that I would take a year to study music and get better with the dykher, and then I would try to get onto a music competition that airs on the net. I figured that even if I didn’t win, just participating could give me the popularity I needed to start my career. Obviously, I didn’t even make it in the selections.” Menide chuckled.

“At that point, I didn’t know what to do. Well, I did know what to do. I wanted to make music. I didn't care about money. But of course, you can't survive like that, so I decided to take the job. It wasn’t even that bad, the test was right in saying that it would be a good fit for me, but it was just so… unenthusiastic. It got boring really fast, and after a while I was just passively going on. It might sound weird but, that job gave me a strong feeling of nothing. It was strong in how dull it was. My parents kept saying that it was normal, that they went through the same thing, and that I should just give myself small pockets of time where I could do something that I really like, as a hobby. Of course, I wanted to keep playing the dykher, but in the few hours I had to play it at home, I just felt too tired to do it.” The music stopped.

“After a year or so of barely using it, I managed to get a couple of weeks of holidays and decided to pick it back up. But at that point, most of my passion for it had died away. It honestly felt disrespectful to play it just as a hobby, I wanted to give it the time and effort it deserved. But I couldn't, because I had a job, so I stopped.”

“But now you’ve quit your job,” Rhea said, noticing that Menide had gone quiet, “Why didn’t you try again?”

“That was after I discovered that everything is fake… actually, now that I think about it, the song I did just now played a big role in who I am today. It’s called Heat Lightning. I wrote it to participate in the competition. It’s funny, I wasn’t sure about the theme when I first wrote it down, but now, years later, it seems to make more sense than before." Menide stopped talking for a second, looking at the metal instrument in their hands.

"When I discovered that we're all robots, that technically we're not even alive, it made me realize: What’s the point of living a life of pain if it's not even real? Back then, I thought that I had nothing left to do, that I simply had to suffer, before even thinking that everything was the result of choices I didn’t take. So, I quit my job, abandoned my family, and began living in the slums. I was just a weird punk aimlessly trying to go against the system, but thankfully Gedis found me, and the rest is history.”

“What about the dykher?”

“Oh, I completely abandoned it.”

“No you haven’t!” Rhea said with determination. “You wouldn’t still have it with you if you’d abandoned it.”

“I guess you’re right.” Menide sighed. “I say that I want to find out what life really is, where the humans are, stop the Custody... but really, I just want to play my little instrument and sing about the absurdities of life. I’m just a hypocrite, really.”

“Not at all! I think that makes you very human. You want to know the answers to all these big questions, but you also just want to be happy. And you want the ones close to you to be happy! There’s nothing wrong with that!”

“But what should I do now?”

“Who cares!” Rhea stood up. “I don’t think there is anything that you should do, just do what you want! What’s the point of doing something if at the end of the day it doesn’t make you happy? Right now, we want to find the humans and take down the Custody, so I say that we go and infiltrate their base! They were the ones in contact with humans. Surely, they have some secret information, they might even know something about me! And you know what? If we get bored of the Custody halfway through, we can just leave and go tour around the country with your dykher!”

Menide stared at him. How simple things were for a kid. But why were they more complicated for an adult? Menide felt a tingling sensation in their back. Were they more complicated?

They could feel a smile revel on their face.

“You know what? Fine! I’ll let your positivity influence me for once!" Menide stood up and grabbed their cape.
“Let’s just attack the Custody directly! Who’s gonna stop us, right?”

“Right!” Rhea cheered.

"But we need to be properly prepared. Let’s go to sleep for now, tomorrow we’ll give a visit to Gedis.”

Menide extended their hand to Rhea. He happily grabbed it, and the two walked inside the base.