Chapter 7:

Confessions

Umevar


Before going to work Margit opened up some news sites. Every time she went online it felt like it took more time and will to get past the advertisements, but she would still not yield. This incident was given far more attention than the previous attack that she was part off, which was surprising to her, since this time there were no victims or major damage done. She smiled. Apparently eight people infiltrated the facility and all of them were apprehended on the spot. Only silhouettes of the perpetrators was visible as they were being led away into custody. The news didn’t mention the police dismantling an entire terrorist organization, but she hoped that she would never have to see Isaac again. She sighed, as her hopes had often been empty before. Expecting the worst was one of the good ways of staying alive just a little bit longer. Somehow it turned out all right. I didn’t die and apparently no one else did either. Maybe it really was the right call to help Flora. It already seemed like this incident would be used in some sort of political dispute, but it was impossible to know who was the manipulator and what the end goal was. Perhaps it was just done since a convenient incident just happened to be available for political use. She wanted to stretch, but that meant she had to leave the tiny pod. Even in this short time she was already forgetting what owning an apartment was like and the pod was becoming her new home. She didn’t know whether to be glad or distraught at this revelation.

She had been avoiding Gabor ever since the attack on Maclearware. Now they were about to pass each other by again, exchange a single hey and move on to their work. As she walked by she opened her mouth and felt her insides squeeze. Her mind went blank as if she forgot how to speak and even her own name. Despite this she forced the words out. “Hey,” she said, her voice breaking. Gabor turned around. He looked old, his face slightly sunken, his eyes were dull. She even saw some grey hairs in his short beard. She had to suppress a flinch. “Have you been doing all right? Are you eating properly?” She didn’t know what else to ask and tried to put off the hard part for at least a while.

“I’m fine,” he said and sniffed. He already began turning to leave, seemingly unwilling to take part in small talk.

Margit took a deep breath. “Back then in the attack,” she started and Gabor immediately froze in place. He turned back to face her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t really want to talk about this before and eventually it became too awkward to face you. What happened was that I was injured,” she had already decided to tell everything, but it was still difficult to get the words out of herself. She looked in his eyes and saw that he was gazing intently and listening closely. She breathed out and spoke. “My internal organs were damaged. They fixed me up with some augmentations, but my uterus is gone.” After she was done she lifted her gaze from the ground, where it wandered while she spoke. When she saw the fresh pain in his eyes, she felt like she could just break down crying, but she chocked the emotions. Despite the pain on Gabor’s face she felt like it still looked more alive now than it was in a while.

“I’m so sorry. And I even said. I’m an idiot. I’m sorry,” he said and looked down.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about that.”

“No, it’s not just that,” he said, looking down and shaking his head. Margit looked in confusion. “I’ve been lying to you all this time.” Confusion was turning slowly into disquietude. “You already know I’ve lost my sister that day. You remember what I said I wanted. You reminded me of my duty to my family. Well, that was the lie. They were already dead. I lost my wife and daughter three years ago.” Margit stared with her mouth open. “It was during the Abominate Autumn. All those horrible attacks and conflicts. They were caught in the crossfire,” each word became harder to say and Margit gave him a bit of time in silence to regain his composure. Colour drained from Margit’s face. “That’s why I wanted to do it. I have nothing left. They took it all. But I don’t even know who did any of it. I’m useless. If I only knew. I still want it, it’s the only thing keeping me going. Sometimes I feel like giving up. I hope you don’t think too badly of me, because it feels good getting this off my chest. You don’t need to do anything except listen to my complaints sometimes. Let’s talk about something else now please.” He waited for a moment.

Margit didn’t know what to say, the truth made her knees buckle. She felt like an idiot for feeling so sorry for herself while Gabor went through something so horrible for the second time. Despite that she still hoped that she might receive treatment soon. They spent a little while longer talking, taking comfort in their confessions. At the end Margit made a decision. After work that day she made contact with Flora’s group and was picked up.

“This is rather unusual. You currently don’t have any assignments, so I really wonder why you contacted us. I trust you enough to know you aren’t here to waste my time and that you aware that every contact is a risk. So please tell me,” Flora said.

Margit could tell there was annoyance behind her kind smile. She took a breath and started talking. “A friend of mine lost family in the attack at Maclearware. He said he wants revenge, so I wanted to ask you if you think he could join this organization,” Margit said.

Flora frowned. “I hope you didn’t tell him about us yet. Or about anyone fighting against terrorist groups.”

“No, he knows nothing.”

“Good. Normally you could be glad if I just told you to forget this ever happened and didn’t just silence you for good, but as is turns out we may have use for someone like that. So here is what you will do.”

Margit invited Gabor to join her after work. Together they walked outside the industrial district into the less populated streets. She looked at his face. He still looked sickly, but his eyes kept the life from their previous conversation. There could’ve been hope shining somewhere deep inside, but what radiated was determined anger.

“Gabor, do you still want justice for what has happened?”

“Yes, of course. I don’t think this will ever change.”

“What if I told you there was a way to fight back against those who wronged you?”

“I would jump at the opportunity. Wait, do you know something?”

“There is an organization that I’m a part of,” Margit explained their fight against the groups that work under the control of a Cerb. Gabor stared wide eyed.

“I see. That is. It’s hard to put into words, but I’ve never even thought something like this was possible. I always just did as I was told. Even when, you know,” he was taken aback and words didn’t come easy, but this time not because it was hard to share his past with Margit.

“I’m sorry, but I need to tell you that the one thing that really bothered me about you is the blind faith you put into everything you were told,” Margit felt bad chastising him like this, but felt it was only right for him to know.

“You are right, even if you are rude, little girl,” he said and smirked. This time Margit was astounded. She felt the pressure of tears building up at the corners of her eyes. It had been too long since Gabor made jokes like this, treating her like a child. It was as if a crack in her heart was being filled in with gold. Then it darkened and she swallowed the emotion, as she realised that she was leading her only friend on the path that could very likely lead to his death. Even if he wished for this it was an act of betrayal. Before she could say anything however, the old wolf continued. “But I’m not exactly surprised that you are a part of this.” This got Margit’s attention and she stared at him. “Even if I was unaware of the things happening behind the scenes, I can still see. I never asked about your past, but I suspected you were involved in something not particularly wholesome.”

“I hoped you were just oblivious,” Margit said with a smile.

“Oh please, I’m old, but not that senile. I guess you want my answer now. Yes, I will do it,” the resolution and intensity in his voice was unmistakable.

Margit handed him a transmitter and after some more catching up, they set off in opposite directions. They both did their missions for Flora, each was always called there alone. Margit did everything from tailing, delivering, planting bugs, hacking and even pickpocketing. Her missions were always separate from what Gabor did. Flora even instructed her to avoid contact with Gabor while not on missions in order to reduce risk of associating them with her and compromising her whole operation. She guessed Gabor had the same orders as he only gave a short sad smile when they saw each other at work. Now that I want to be with him more I can’t even see him. Just my luck.