Count On It

“Have you discovered the nature of their new project yet?”

“Not exactly. From what I can gather so far, it seems they’re engineering some sort of unique phantom that expands upon the xenohuman gene, but I’m not sure what it does or what their motive is yet.”

Day #1

Day #4

Entry #1

Mr. Kouta came by to visit me today. He told me that an appeal wouldn’t be possible unless there was irrefutable evidence that I was innocent as if I didn’t already know that. I wonder how it feels to be a public lawyer for defendants when your chances of losing are greater than 99%. I’m sure he’s doing fuck all actually investigating the murder case. There’s no way for them to prove my innocence.

He also gave me some updates on Hikari. She seems to be taking the transition moving in with her aunt well. I’m sure my in-laws are still bitter over my marriage, but I’m glad they haven’t carried that grudge onto Hikari. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe Hikari will have an easier life with normal guardians, ones that’ll be there for her.

He also suggested that I start writing a daily journal. I’m sure that’ll keep me sane for the next 35 whole fucking years of my life sentence until I get a chance at parole. Well, here I fucking am, scribbling away at this

- - - - -

Entry #4

I noticed something today. There’s a difference between the gazes people used to give me and the gaze the other inmates give me. While they’re not keen on me being a xeno, I haven’t been physically harassed yet, which is surprising. Although their eyes of disdain cast stones at my fortress of indifference, none of them have directly confronted me. I sense fear in their wary eyes. I suppose getting in for murder added a fearsome aura to my supernatural abilities. So instead of physical harassment, I suppose I get to experience more social alienation instead. I wish I could say it’s an element of familiarity that I find comfort in.

Apparently, I can send letters from prison. I think I might write one soon. Hikari deserves to hear some more closure from me. How am I supposed to address a letter to my child?

- - - - -

March 24th

To my dearest Hikari,

In this time of beautiful spring days, I hope that you are still singing and dancing to your heart’s content.

I hope y

I am writing this letter to

I am still

I’m sor

I am doing well. Are you excited about the new school year? Be sure to make a lot of friends. You should try asking your auntie to take you to go cherry blossom viewing. You can also ask them to take you to come to see me. You can also write me letters and ask your auntie to deliver them to me. I want you to know that I’m inno I’m sorry that I made some poor decisions, and now I have to be away. I hope that you will forgive me. Are you still dan You can also ask your auntie to go to your dance. I’ll be watching from where I am too.

Please take care of yourself.

Ishiguro Asahi

- - - - -

Entry #9

Mr. Kouta came by again to visit today. I assured him that I was on good behavior. As usual, nothing that could help my case has come up. I wonder why he even says that anymore. Just to pretend there’s an active effort to prove someone else was the culprit?

He confirmed that the letter I sent has been received. I guess I should wait for a bit more. Disappointingly, he didn’t have a letter for me, and I still haven’t received one from the prison. However, he did bring me a photo of Hikari, so I could see her again.

I’ve also started reading the books in the prison library today. The one on modern-day internet marketing that was most interesting… is what I wished I could say. I thought I may as well spend my time in prison being productive, but then I remembered that I’ll be in my 70s by the time I get out. I guess it was just a distraction used for passing time. There’s nothing to prepare for while I'm here.

- - - - -

Entry #42

It’s been over a month since I sent the letter, and I still don’t think I’ll ever be hearing back. And maybe it’s for the better. Maybe it’s for the better if someone like me didn’t play such a role in her life… I didn’t want her to have to grow up telling the other kids that she doesn’t have a mom; I don’t want the fact that her dad is in prison for murder to be a point of significance in her upbringing either. Maybe being with the Masudas can provide her with the family and childhood she needs. I don’t want her to grow up with a tale of woe.

- - - - -

Entry #70

Today is Hikari’s birthday. She turns 10 today. I wonder how they’re celebrating it. I hope they’re going to Sachi's Ice to get her favorite ice cream today. I bet she’s getting the Watermelon Burst Sorbet, the Chocolate Fudge, and the Nutty Coconut.

- - - - -

Entry #159

Mr. Kouta dropped in to give me some updates on Hikari. She’s an absolute joy and delight to both teachers and classmates at school. Her spirit and energy have not left her. I couldn’t help but want to cry, seeing her overcome the social barriers of being a xenohuman. Still no letters, but Kouta says Hikari was very happy to read my letter. Today was a good day.

- - - - -

Entry #248

It has been an entire year since I first entered the prison. That means I’ve only got 34 more left to go until I have a chance at parole. There’s no way, right? I can’t spend the rest of my life rotting away in prison. What is there even to live for once I get out? What will there be left for me?

I had a very funny idea earlier today. It’s silly, really, but I thought… What if… Just what if I could use my ability to phase through the prison walls, bars, security cameras, and escape? What would I do after I escape? I mean, I shouldn’t even entertain the idea, but it’s certainly amusing.

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Entry #253

Okay. I know I wrote that I wouldn’t entertain the idea, but I did some experimenting last night with the walls while in bed. When deatomizing my entire body, I can sustain it for about 7 seconds maximum before my brain yells at me to gasp for air. As for my pain tolerance when phasing through an object, I think I can indefinitely endure a single finger colliding with an object. I will have to conduct further research.

- - - - -

Entry #259

I’ve done it! I can sustain my deatomization for 8 seconds now. This proves that I can train my ability to strengthen it. I’m going to keep practicing until I reach my limit. If I somehow escape through this method, I wonder what my plan after escaping is. I should figure that out first.

- - - - -

Entry #277

I haven’t made any progress with my ability yet, but I’ve decided to start studying English today. It seems it’s going to take me quite some time to escape at my current pace, so I may as well brush up on English while I'm here. More importantly, after escaping, I could stow away on a ship or plane quite easily with my ability to America or whatever other countries speak English. Then, I’ll figure it out from there.

- - - - -

Entry #300

I can indefinitely endure the collision of two fingers now. Dedicating my every single day to nothing but studying English, my abilities in that area have drastically improved as well. I think I’ve reached the reading level of a 1st grader.

It's a bit annoying that I can't take food into the recreational center or any books into the cafeteria. Apparently, past inmates kept spilling the food and making a mess, so they lost that privilege. Now, there's a checkpoint in the hall between the recreational centers and the cafeteria.

- - - - -

Entry #332

Hikari turns 11 years old today. I can’t believe she’ll be entering middle school in a bit over a year. It saddens me that I’ll most likely miss it, but looking at photos of her now, she’s grown so much. If only I could actually hold her in my arms.

8 seconds, 3 fingers

- - - - -

Entry #369

I was afraid that I had hit an impassable roadblock with my English studies when there was no way to immerse myself with native speakers of the language, but today, one of the nicer guards noticed that I was struggling with my pronunciation. It turns out, he studied abroad in the UK for a few years when he was younger and has offered to help me practice my speaking and listening.

9, 3

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Entry #398

I took some time to read some recreational fiction while taking a break from my English studies today, and while it’s a little childish, it inspired me to give my ability a name. I think I’m going to call it “Restless Spirit.”

10, 4

- - - - -

Entry #423

I read in the papers today that there's been a recent rise in xenohuman attacks at schools, and I can't help but wonder what's causing all these kids to do such horrible things. I hope Hikari stays safe.

I think my English is at a B1 level now.

13, 5

- - - - -

Entry #458

Mr. Kouta informed me today that Hikari is still singing and dancing, and even more, she’s rather good at it now. I wasn’t allowed to see any videos of it, but I’m sure it was wonderful. Maybe she’s right. Maybe she will become an idol, and soon, I’ll be reading magazines with her on the cover of them while in the confines of these cells.

I’ve begun being able to endure the object collision of both hands. The forearms are considerably easier to withstand. As for how long I can sustain an immaterial form, it only seems to get easier. I managed to hit 1 minute the other day.

- - - - -

Entry #474

Hikari is 12 years old today. It seemed like it was only yesterday when she was still in 3rd grade, tugging on me to go to her dance recital. The realization does dawn on me, however, that her life seems to have been considerably better ever since I was incarcerated. Perhaps that was a blessing in disguise after all.

67

I think my English proficiency has nearly reached C1.

- - - - -

Entry #503

Hikari has graduated from grade school and will be entering middle school next spring. When Mr. Kouta showed me the photos of her graduation, I broke down in tears as I became overwhelmed by joy and melancholy. I got a different kind of strange look from the other inmates today.

81

The pain tolerance of my face, head, and abdomen need the most work.

- - - - -

Entry #537

Mr. Kouta delivered some major news today. Hikari is holding an underground concert. She’s holding her first-ever public performance in a week! She’s actually doing it! And it’s all thanks to the support of her newfound family… I didn’t believe in her, and yet, she’s going to prove me wrong.

More importantly, she wants me to see the performance. She has specifically requested Mr. Kouta to record it and bring me a recording of the concert. I believe that as I am writing this, Mr. Kouta is negotiating the possibility of bringing in a video recording to me the next time he visits.

But a thought struck me. What if I go see it live?

What if I did my great escape in the next week, and I went to see the concert live? The thought excites me far too much. I’m afraid I might make an accidental mistake if I let this potential future cloud my judgment. I need to carefully plan my escape over the next two days and what to do after my escape. Then I’ll surprise Hikari by attending her concert in person. This is my chance of redeeming myself as a failed father. I can’t let it slip. I’ll be there. Count on it.

- - - - -

Entry #538

While the west wing has fewer walls, the warden’s quarter actually offers the most cover on the way out. Additionally, there’s less security and surveillance there. It’s going to take a lot of gall to head out that way, but once I get past the inner walls, the rest should be smooth sailing. I can dematerialize myself for up to one and a half minutes, though I don’t know how fast I can recharge my stamina. I’ll have to use my invulnerability time as sparingly as possible.

Afterward, according to the maps in the library, I should be able to make a beeline through several buildings to lose my pursuers. As for disguising my ghastly pale face, I’ll have to put on some heavy makeup that makes sense. Acquiring a clown costume may be ideal, though difficult. Now that everything’s been planned out, all that’s left is go time tonight when everyone’s asleep.