Chapter Thirty-One Rules

“Have you ever heard of a beard?” Aria asked, her eyes glimmering in the faint light of the lone streetlight standing on the boundary of the park. What the hell was she talking about? I searched my memory. I mean, a beard was something a guy grew. Was there some other significance attached?

“If it is what I think it is, I have, I guess,” I shrugged. There was, obviously, some other meaning I was plainly ignorant of. Aria giggled.

“It’s not facial hair if that’s what you’re thinking,” Aria chuckled. Of course not, I thought with a scowl. “In a relationship, a beard’s someone who pretends to be dating someone to give cover to their real relationship.” I must have looked thoroughly confused as she giggled again.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I confessed.

“Ok, say we are dating each other but we don’t want anyone to find out we’re dating each other,” Aria put her hand to her temple as if trying to coax the right words out of her brain. “So, the best way to keep anyone from being suspicious would be for one of us to ‘date’ someone else, right?” I frowned.

“So, you date Daishi to give cover for us?” I shook my head. “No, thanks. I’m not much for playing pretend like that. Not to mention it sounds pretty much like I’m some kind of side chick you come to when Daishi doesn’t notice.” I turned to leave but Aria grabbed my arm quickly to stop me.

“No! No!” Aria said quickly. “That’s the beauty of it! I don’t date Daishi at all! I mean, everyone already thinks I am, so I simply don’t say anything! Daishi’s never going to admit we’re not dating because he’s so arrogant the shame would kill him! We can do whatever we want because people just assume I’m dating him so they wouldn’t think twice about anything we do! Don’t you see?” I stared deep into her eyes and found what I expected to find, no clue if these were her real intentions or not.

Some people claimed the eyes were the window to the soul and could bestow all of the truths someone was hiding. Looking at Aria I saw only myself reflected in her deep blue orbs. I saw no hidden truth, no cosmic secrets, just her and I. I sighed.

“I don’t like it,” I finally sighed. “If we’re going to date, I don’t want to share. I don’t know how other people, lesbian, gay or straight, do things and I don’t care. I won’t be a second choice.”

“I don’t like it any more than you, but it solves our problems,” Aria reasoned, grabbing my uninjured hand. “Please, K-chan. I don’t want either of us to lose what we have until we have the chance to make that decision for ourselves. When we’re 18 and can live on our own we can be together for real in Tokyo or Osaka or even back in America or something. Until then we just have to hold on to each other. This is the easiest way to do it!” I had no idea if this idea of hers was the best option, but I didn’t have any better ideas. Assuming, of course, we were to date. Honestly, the whole thing irritated and made me anxious, though. I chewed on my lip pensively.

What if she was doing this to keep me dangling on the hook while she continued to date Daishi? She seemed genuine but she was also impossible for me to get a handle on. She also could switch gears on me at the drop of a hat. God knows she’d done it often enough thus far. I tore my eyes away from her face and stared out to sea. The clouds had streaked across the face of the moon, hiding her behind their shadows. Lightning flicked like serpents’ tongues across the horizon. A wind blew steady and cold ahead of the clouds massing in the distance.

“If we don’t have trust, we have nothing,” I whispered, more to myself than Aria. The picture she’d painted was rosy and inviting. A simple, happy existence. Times of joy and freedom. Moments of silence and comfort. All free from the judgement of people who didn’t have to live our lives or know our hearts or minds.

“Trust me,” Aria whispered, slipping her arm timidly through mine and stepping close. I glanced up at her face to find her looking back at me. “Give us a chance.”

“You’re not dating Daishi?” I frowned. She shook her head. “You didn’t fuck him?” She shook her head again. “Your ex isn’t going to show up out of nowhere like a shojo antagonist?” She smiled and shook her head once more. I sighed and closed my eyes, raising my head skyward. I wanted so badly to say yes. I wanted it more than I’d ever wanted anything.

“Let’s add some rules onto it,” Aria spoke up, as if sensing my conviction wavering. My eyes flickered open.

“Rules?”

“I read about them in a magazine,” Aria said, shivering slightly in the chill. “They’re supposed to help your relationship grow strong.”

“I haven’t said yes, yet,” I reminded her, the ‘yet’ part coming out unconsciously. Aria snuggled closer to me and nodded.

“I know. But maybe the rules will help you make up your mind,” she replied.

“Let me hear them first.”

“Rule number 1: Honesty in everything. Good or bad or indifferent, we have to be honest from here on out! Including about our feelings, fears, wants and desires.”

“I’m always hon-“ I began before Aria put her finger over my lips to stop me from speaking.

“Wait until I’m done with the rules! Think of it as a…temporary rule, or something,” Aria shrugged.

“Why do you get to make the rules?” I demanded.

“Shh, remember the temporary rule. You can counter-propose rules and amendments after I’m done,” Aria giggled.

“You sound like a lawyer,” I muttered against her finger.

“Well, my dad’s a lawyer so I must have caught it from him. Anyway, second rule: always answer the phone! I know it’s stupid! But I read it’s helpful! Third rule: we spend as much time together as possible. Even just doing simple, stupid things like reading or studying and even if it’s with other people, we spend time with each other. Fifth ru- “

“How many rules are we making up here?” I sighed. If I’d known there were this many, I’d have brought a stenotype or something.

“I read these in a very prestigious magazine, I’ll have you know. I’m not making them up! But if you keep interrupting it’ll just take longer,” Aria pointed out.

“Fair point,” I acknowledged with a shrug.

“Now, which rule was I on?”

“Fifth,” I responded, the cold wind making the tip of my nose numb.

“Ah, right. Fifth rule: always talk to each other first! Everyone has a rumor to tell or a story to sell, but we owe it to each other to go to the source first, right? Sixth…hmm. No, that was it. Only five. Now you have the floor! Or, well, patchy dirt ground, I guess.”

I had to admit, the rules, though impossible to police in any real way were good ones. Had I been honest? Not as much as I should have been, I decided, despite my earlier protestation that I was. If I’d told her my feelings earlier maybe some of the madness could have been avoided or, at least, mitigated.

“I have only one rule to add,” I replied after a moment. “No cheating. And I mean that in every sense of the word. No secret hugs with people outside our circle or innocent kisses. If either of us thinks we might cheat, just end things first. I’d rather be sad and know than be blissfully ignorant.”

“I can agree to that provided I can make an amendment,” Aria said. “I don’t mind you hugging people in our group. It would be impossible to avoid Emi’s attacks anyway. But not Saki.” I glanced at her in surprise.

“What’s wrong with Saki?” I asked.

“I know how she feels about you,” Aria looked at me intensely. “I get you don’t feel the same way, but feelings can change, and I’d just feel better if intimate contact didn’t help that change along.” Huh, I thought, she sounded as paranoid as me right now.

“I can agree to that,” I shrugged. Aria grinned and held her pinky out to me. I stared at it blankly for a moment.

“Pinky promise. It’s a well-known fact if people break pinky promises they become hunchbacks.” I giggled softly and linked my pinky with hers. “The rules have been agreed upon!” Aria declared loudly. The wind had died down to a whisper as the storm gathered power out at sea. I could almost sense the winds drawing energy from the water beneath them, the air becoming angry and swollen as it prepared to come ashore furiously.

“So…” Aria whispered in the sudden silence. “Will you go out with me?”

“Yes,” I whispered back. Aria and I stared at each other for a long moment before she leaned forward slightly. I met her lips with mine, brushing against their softness hesitatingly at first, then with more insistence.

I felt Aria’s tongue flick out and I opened my mouth, meeting hers with my own. I felt Aria’s arms envelope me and pull me closer. I closed my eyes tightly as I wrapped my arms around her, our kiss lengthening and deepening, threatening to drown me in its sweetness. My breath was ragged as our tongues flicked over and under the other in a desperate dance.

The storm brewing out beyond the reach of the lighthouse was no fiercer than the one raging through my body. Tomorrow would bring its own challenges and trials, but for this one moment, a single drop in the ocean of time, I had the person I loved in my arms and my world was right.