What Are You Wearing

A few weeks before school resumed, we vacationed in the Rocky Mountains. I had just officially gotten my driver’s license, and I was forced to practice my driving on the freeway. As a very anxious person, it was definitely… one of my experiences.

During the trip, I wore clothes that fit me.

And no one seemed to care.

I was simultaneously self-conscious and self-confident. I knew I looked fine, but I was still entering new territory. Social media posts with vacation photos are forever, after all.

On the first day of my junior year, I was so close to falling off the wagon. The “clothes wagon”, I mean, not the drinking one.

But I didn’t. The moment those stupid thoughts invaded, I just rolled my eyes like I was listening to a lunatic.

And so with little pageantry I marched to school in my mom jeans and slightly less oversized shirt.

When the gang met at lunch, I wrung my hands in anticipation.

Paul was the first to say something. “Bro, you got drip,” he puckered his lips into a smile and nodded.

“Yeah, that’s definitely what I was going for.”

“It looks great,” Gabi corrected.

Jasmine raised a thumb in encouragement.

Jacob smiled and shrugged.

“Thanks guys,” I said.

“So… are you… going by… something else now… or…?” Jacob inquired sheepishly.

I just laughed. “Uh. No. I mean….”

“Okay”, he said, looking down in shame. “I’ll shut up now.”

“It’s okay, buddy,” Jasmine said, patting him on the back.

I couldn’t stop giggling. It was infectious.

Suddenly, Paul leaned into me, whispering in my ear, serious. “Hey, Dude, are you wearing panties?”

I was so shocked, I just kept laughing. “What the fuck, Dude?”

“What did he say?” Gabi asked, worried.

“He asked me if I was wearing panties.”

“Paul, that’s gross,” she balked.

“Wha—what? Noel is a guy and my friend.”

“Okay, first of all, I really don’t think that has anything to do with it,” she shook her head.

“Dude, it totally does! I wouldn’t care if he asked me if I was wearing boxers.”

Gabi sighed. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“Look, I’m not a creep. Come on Man, help me out here,” he looked to me.

My mirth was evident. “Nah. That was a terrible question.”

“You guys suck,” he mumbled. “But like, are you?”

“Paul!” Gabi ordered.

“I’m not telling you,” I said.

“Good job standing up for yourself,” Gabi commented.

Paul muttered something under his breath that sounded like “probably means he is.”

We continued lunch with plenty of hearty discussion. Jasmine talked about her family trying to feed the snakes on her head and Gabi talked about her parent’s weird cult thing; but those are stories for another time.

Later that night, my phone buzzed.

It was Paul.

Paul: Ok but were u wearing

You: Idiot this is the group chat

Paul: FUCK

Gabi: PAUL