Chapter 2: Would it be Better?

 I was on my way outside the classroom. I purposely chose the emergency since it’s a way no students normally use. Specifically since it is narrow.

My heart almost dropped, someone just suddenly grabbed me and pinned me on the wall. It is Yokohama. I wanted to thank him for what he did earlier, but I was just not into doing that in front of someone who is clearly staring at me with blank eyes.

“Are you doing this on purpose?”

“No-uhmm..”

“Everything's a mess. Do you know that the cafeteria is a mess and everyone's saying that the Student Council is useless.”

I was left astounded on the spot.

“I will see you tomorrow.” He lets go of me and exits the emergency exit. His voice sounds more like a threat.

But most of all, I was someone who dreamt of that kabedon moment. Who knows that it was this terrifying?

______

This is troublesome already. I think it’s the principal’s fault for making me the President. Don’t he get that if someone is hopeless, he should just let it be?

My previous character would have said no, push through and work hard. That’s no longer me. I’m a different person who wishes for peace and solitude. It took a lot of lies to make my family believe that I’m fine. I love my natural silver white hair. My reason for dyeing it brown is about ‘standing out too much’ they are easy to convince though. They’re just happy about my scholarship at EHS, they are not aware of my circumstances at all. Not that I want to inform them.

I feel not good at all.

But I’ve come to a better resolve.

I’ve learned that Yokohama is someone called the Crown Prince. Of course I know him, because I investigated him. Even in fairytales, the Crown Prince must rule, isn’t that only right? He is dedicated and in my absence he is the one to catch the burden.

This day is different. I usually visit our office when I’ve made sure that the majority of the students left. Today, I woke up as early as I could and had to wait for the guards to be on duty to open the gates. It’s crazy that their shift starts at 5am. The look on the guards is priceless, they thought I’m an assassin for wearing this oversized black jacket (which I borrowed from one of my cousins). Hehehe~

No one has ever noticed that flash drive in the book shelf yet, it seems like some of the members are not visiting here at all. Within this week, the request for clubs application will commence. Today is Wednesday, and the start of submission will be Friday.

From what Yokohama has mentioned before, the school is in a state of chaos. Probably in the cafeteria during breaks. I’ll probably check the campus if some punks are messing around.

What else could there be, I’ve witnessed bullying, that is not good at all.

For this day I’ve decided to attend all the classes. As usual, Mikitani and Yokohama are not very pleased to see me. I have recently met eyes with Mikitani for the first time. I can understand why she has that resentment. However, I must toughen up and do what I must for my own sake.

The morning class flew by. As soon as it’s over I waited for Yokohama to leave the classroom and follow after him. He’s popular but he has not made a circle of friends yet. I, on the other hand, is someone no one pays attention to.

Just as I expected, he goes to the cafeteria. The students are indeed disorganized. Judging by the situation it doesn’t seem like it’s a prestigious school at all. The whole scenario is a major tarnish to the school’s reputation.

For such a thing to happen, seriously it’s not the student council’s force problem. If anyone, it is the students that are involved themselves. In a very individual perspective, a person should be responsible on his or her own. Since the encounter yesterday, I felt the urge to fix one thing. Not that I plan to be good or stay or even try my best. I just want to be free from that threat. I still hope Yokohama will impeach me so I am planning not to do my best. I will still ditch it.

Just at perfect timing Yokohama is standing still at a distance watching the students' commotion in their line.

I took a deep breath. I have to fight this fear. The crowd suffocates me, but it’s not that they will see me, so I bet my chance in hopes of being okay. I will try my best to be a ninja.

Surely no one noticed that I slipped in the line, I carefully pulled each student, organizing them like a doll. I took judo lessons for my body to have a better stamina and it became useful later on. I never thought I will use this kind of trick like an assassin hehe~

The line surely became better and some of them automatically fell in the right lane when they noticed the slight change.

I hurried back to Yokohama, where I was busy looking at the menu.

Purposely hitting my back against his and whispered “Now say what I tell—“

“Who are you?” He replied. I’m not sure if he’s dumbfounded or he is just calm. Nonetheless he should figure by now.

“It doesn’t matter, look at the line. We will organize that.” I feel his body move so I continue.

“Listen everyone.” I started.

Which he follows. “Listen everyone.”

“That’s the proper line that everyone must keep from now on.”

“That’s the proper line that everyone must keep from now on.”

“Make sure you are one arm away from the one in front of you.”

“Make sure you are one arm away from the one in front of you.”

“Keep in mind that responsibility starts from yourself.”

“Keep in mind that responsibility starts from yourself.”

“With that in mind, let’s be better and act accordingly as an individual.”

“With that in mind, let’s be better and act accordingly as an individual.”

He did follow my instructions properly, earning him a loud applause from the students who were there.

I continued to walk as if nothing happened.

He is indeed the Crown Prince. On the other hand an Archangel, they say? What role do they have but to serve and guide the chosen one to their righteous path.

I really wish I could go to my next objective as soon as I can, that is no longer possible.

Akemi is someone that, after all, I can’t ignore. She knows what I did judging by her expression.

“Chiyo...”

“Hi Akemi.” I smiled bitterly.

“Is there anything that I can help with at least?” She asks, as if it was yesterday that we are meant to do great things.

“I’m trying to leave the student council, I’m really sorry. Even if I’m not there anymore I know that you will be recognized through your talent.”

“It will be sad without you...”

“We’re still in the same school.” I reassured her but she was not pleased at all.

“No, it feels like you will run away. Transferring school is possible.”

I forgot, because of my feelings, about the only person whom I trusted most. My best friend.

I hugged her. “I’m sorry, let's catch up soon and have our usual dates. We will buy matching notebooks or ball-pens.”

“You punk!” She playfully said, gently slapping my shoulders.

I’m glad we had a conversation like that. It feels like a heavy weight is lifted on my chest. I wish I could be there for her whenever she needs my help at all times. Surely she has improved a lot and can act on her own. I miss our bonding as we strive to be the better version of ourselves.

My next objective will be the delinquents of this school. This school is prestigious, yes, but it is still a private school which means anyone who can pay can be accepted.

I had the list from the principal.

They are not really the kind of bullies who want money, they just want to demonstrate their destructive nature.

The best thing that I can do is be friends with them. These kinds of guys however, are the hardest to tame.

I found them hanging out at the back of the school where no one goes.

I smell the disgusting scent of tobacco. I found only 5 delinquents of this school.

Furukawa Saji (3rd year, graduating)

Nakajima Jiro (3rd year, graduating)

Hasegawa Seijuro (2nd year)

Ando Takashi (2nd year)

Saito Daisuke (1st year)

“My, my this is not good.” Covering my nose, that’s how I manage to start the conversation.

“Who are you?”

“Well, don’t mind me, I’m just your friendly neighbor.” I approach them to get their cigarettes.

“Huh?” He has blonde hair, his name is Saito Daisuke. He’s ready to fight. They are actually the ones I saw with that poor guy.

“Listen here, I’m not gonna let you bully anyone in this school. So please be obedient. Also, if you can’t catch up to the lessons or have your problems, I’m the right person to contact.” I confidently told them. How hypocrite of me to say this. On the inside I’m shaking and I have no motivation to do this at all. If it is the only way for me to escape this position, I am more than willing to swallow my fears.

They all laughed.

I laughed as well causing them to stop.

“I’m a persistent person. So let’s make peace together.” They don’t know how to exactly react but I leave before they get too annoyed.

I know the people I’m dealing with are the 5 only delinquents of this school who love to make trouble.

They are from such wealthy families, how sad, they are not to be taken lightly because I know their situation is not an ordinary one. Am I just doing this for the sake of doing the bare minimum? Why would I want to fix things, when I know deep inside that I wanted to leave.

*******

The class is finally over, while waiting for the students to leave I’ve decided to take a nap in the infirmary. Yes, not just the library, but the infirmary because I have special connections. My cousin gave me the spare key, she left a few minutes ago.

A good 30 minutes had passed, so I decided to leave the room. The hallway is empty, which most girls would be scared of, but it is nothing to me.

I proceeded to the Student Council’s office right away.

Look who I found.

He is here.

It’s not that I’m surprised, but see the look in his eyes. His cold gaze piercing me, truly he is the crown prince from every angle. His figure demonstrates that of a leader without saying.

While who they call the Archangel is having a hard time doing her best just so she could lead in peace. The truth is I'm just a normal person who doesn’t stand out, Yokohama Ryusei doesn’t need the extreme effort that I do to gain everyone’s favor.

He raised the flash drive that contains the valuable information that I gathered.

“I saw the file date on the documents that are saved here. Interesting,” he raised the flash drive in his hands diverting my attention to it “all the time you were ditching us, you were preparing these. For what?”

I look down, unable to directly tell him my plans. How come I’ve become this weak on rebuttal?

“The most interesting part is that the rest of the members have their personal information except for me. Could it be that you want to leave me the title?”

He is right.

I didn’t notice how close we’ve become until he lifts up my chin.

“Do you think I’d let you off?” He whispered.

I mustered the courage to say the things that I want. “B-but! I am in no shape to act or even pretend as the President! You’re the only capable person that can do this!”

He glared at me. How come a friendly person can be this cold? “Take responsibility. The Principal’s condition is precise, if you leave your position, the rest of us will be cut off.” He paused. “I will make it easy for you and help you win over the rest of the members. Use me as your voice or whatever, I can play the clown. Just let this year be over.”

“I don’t want to—“

“Quit complaining. I hate this school much more than you think. The only reason I got stuck here is for my foolish ambition to see the Archangel. I’m ranked the second greatest student leader of the nation, from a family of famous politicians. Do you think your trivial matters will cover up to the damage that will befall on mine? Think about others as well. The future of your members.”

For the first time in a while, I felt defeated. This day is such a tiring day. I’ve done a lot yet, why?

Why are these tears falling from my eyes?

I don’t want pity, taking responsibility is something that I would despise as well. I hate everything, and my only wish is to have peace of mind. I want to be free like any other regular student. Maybe if they see me at a different angle, I could have more friends and enjoy my school days.

“P-pleas-s...” my voice is shaking and it seems as if I’m begging.

You don’t know the shame that I went through.

You have no idea, Yokohama.... how much I’ve suffered from a criticism that I did not deserve. How much I cried day and night. How unfair it was to carry such a burden on a student leader. How heavy it feels to allow yourself to be humiliated.

“Shut up...” his tone changes when he notices that I’m crying. He is colder. “Everyone is laughing at us. The former student council, even the potential leaders in line. Students purposely act like that because they don’t think the student council is worth their respect.”

I fell silent.

“Suzuki Kise is considered as a perfect leader back in his school. A capable student who is said to be second to me. Mikitani Himari is known for her strict nature, everyone obeys her. Nitori Akemi is a person close to the archangel who accomplished a task perfectly, the Archangel praised her a lot.”

I had to fight my urge to blurt everything. But he doesn’t know a thing about the archangel. “Everyone is perfect. I get that. Why need me?”

“It doesn’t matter now, because you are the chosen President. The board members’ decision is not a joke.”

“Just take the role and leave me be.”

“Don’t be such a spoiled brat. Haven’t you realized? You are the president who will rule among these great leaders. So tell me? How can I allow you to kill this opportunity for the chosen ones?”

I must have been drowned in my thoughts. I only remembered the small gap between us just now.

His strong presence overwhelms me.

“That’s right. You will not find the right word to cover up for your cowardice. Face it.” He is pressuring me to be the president he wants. I get that. His eyes are blank, he doesn’t care what I feel. However… “I’ll be with you.” He says.

“Wh-what?” I felt confused, this is all that I can respond to him.

“A true leader never abandons his members.” The words that came from his lips, the way he said it, as if it mirrors myself back in time.

It stings my heart so bad. The tears rush to my eyes, losing my control. There are so much that I have kept until now. And that is the word that I never want to hear again. I will not be as good as I was before, I’ve become hopeless. It feels like drowning, I never wanted to take responsibility for anything. Why must it be me? Why?

He approaches me, resting both his hands on my shoulders. It didn’t stop me crying.

He didn’t try to meet my gaze, but then he said “We are all leaders, don’t forget that. Being President doesn’t mean everything is your burden.”

Yokohama is just expressing his opinion on the trivial matter that he’s referring to. But it stops my tears. I was able to calm down. He turned his back on me.

“Let’s call it a day.” He exists in the student council room. Leaving me behind.

He is right. I can’t deny it. I am pulling everyone with me. It’s like a crab mentality. The fact that I can’t set myself free, I pull the legs of others in that process and they suffer the same misfortune that I experienced. I never thought about that. All I’m thinking about is my own feelings.

Akemi is my best friend. We’ve been together for a long time, but I abandon her and ignore her calls whenever she reaches out. She cares a lot for me, she helps me a lot.

Mikitani, and Suzuki are not even filing for resignation. I’m sure it is hard for them as well.

It is only Yokohama who fought with me, and I can’t blame him. But the part I hated the most is the fact that I didn’t want this. All my life I’ve been expected to be a leader. Whenever I say something I will be taken advantage of. I embraced the fact that I have no choice but to be stuck. I even dealt with it, I treated this curse as if it was a blessing, like an opportunity. People admire me and look up to me. Those are glory days.

That is pure piece of crap. Just one mistake and they will treat you as if you are nothing. People will judge you according to your mistake no matter what good you do. They will carelessly speak ill of you. There are some people who hate me, I’m sure of that, they love it when the person they try to bring down responds. I did not respond, but silently, I took it to my heart. I am also a human who feels bad, hurt, and gets up.

These annoying tears just won’t stop. Helplessly I fell on my knees in the middle of the student council room. I’m alone, all I want is redemption. But instead I’m trapped here, locked up in my past. Is it wrong to be selfish?