Kill my perverseness

When the meeting was over, we all breathed a sigh of relief as Taki left. If negotiations go well, we won’t have the police after us anymore, and they’d even be on our side.

Aoi had headed back to her quarters to rest. When she had returned to the hospital, she had stopped coming over to my place, however, she left all her belongings here. I’m going to have to return them after.

Ever since that incident, things have been awkward between the four of us. Especially between Aoi and I. Most of the time, I’m too ashamed to speak to her. I’ve hurt her, and not only that, when she was hurt, I was lusting after her body.

Damn it.

I can still bring myself to apologize to Red and Asuna though. Even though I was to blame, it was reasonable of me to act that way. Some of the blame still falls onto Red and Asuna. I hate myself for thinking this way, finding solace in blaming others.

For now, we are on stand by until Taki comes back with more news, so everyone shouldn’t be too busy. If I’m to patch up what I broke, it has to be now. I headed over to Red’s place, but he wasn’t there.

“Red told me he was heading to Shinjuku Gyoen national garden,” Responded Evan.

“Alright, thanks Evan!” I called as I left. The best way to get to Shinjuku would be through the train.

I left through our on foot exit, which leads to a locked porta potty. We have many hidden exits around Tokyo. The portapotty was my least favorite, I always get a weird vibe whenever I use it.

I took the train to Shinjuku station, then walked to the garden from there. It wasn’t my first time here, however, I’m always impressed by the well kept plants and the scenery. I headed over to the Japanese garden.

The pond was surrounded by blankets of freshly trimmed grass that were spotted with various people having picnics. There were all sorts of trees everywhere, their intricately twisting branches fully bloomed with the green leaves of summer.

I eventually found Red, but I was in no situation to talk to him just yet. It turned out he had come here on a date with Asuna! Right now, we were in a secluded area that was blocked off by the trees and bushes. I was behind some bushes spying on Red and Asuna.

“Y-you really want to do it here?” Asked Asuna as she glanced around nervously.

“This place is a special place to me. Don’t worry, no one will see us.” Whispered Red as he leaned in close to Asuna. Her face started burning red, so was Red’s.

Meanwhile, my face was bright red as well, so I buried it in my hands. What were they going to do here?!! I feel like I should stop them, however, I was too intrigued to do anything about it.

“Red! Not there… I don’t think you should…”

I quickly looked up to see what was going on.

“You’re right, this spot is a bit uneven. Let’s put it over here” Said Red as he moved his picnic blanket to another spot.

I sighed, then buried my face back into my palms. What was I thinking!? When have I gotten this dirty minded… oh right. Ever since I had that crush on Aoi, I’ve always been thinking of these weird things.

No! I shouldn’t be thinking of this. It’s indecent. Aoi and I could never be like this, not anymore. Aoi shouldn’t be with a dirty minded man like me… all I was after all along was her body. She would be happier with someone else.

I could never deserve someone like her. That’s right, when I get the chance, I will tell her the truth, and my true feelings. Everything that I’ve been afraid and ashamed of, I will tell her, and then apologize. She would be too disgusted to ever love me.

I slapped myself.

Pull yourself together man.

I looked back up, and quickly looked away. My face turned hotter. What was Asuna doing on top of Red?!! Ah my gosh! They’re at that stage already?!

“Mommy! Why’s that creepy old guy staring at the couple from the bushes?” Said a little kid who was passing by with his mother.

I froze.

“Fudo! Don’t look! He’s probably some dirty pervert” Said the mother as she quickly pulled her son away.

Right. What the heck was I doing, stalking Red and Asuna from the bushes! That’s not what I came here for! But… What can I do right now? What should I do?

“A-A-A… Asuna!!” Screamed Red, his face was more red than the red stripes of his picnic blanket.

“Sorry! I’m such a clutz, I tripped on nothing” Apologized Asuna.

I thought I heard some comedic boing sound effect as I saw a lump poking out of his pants…

“Wh-What’s this hard thing?!!” Said Asuna as she quickly got off of Red and buried her face in her arms. Her face was flustered, mine was just as flustered!

Damn Red. At first I envied how he was able to go on a date with Asuna, however, that envious feeling quickly faded away now. He’s so dead.

“It really isn’t what it looks like!” Stammered Red. “Look! It was the banana in my pocket.” Exclaimed Red as he took a bruised banana out of his pocket and showed it to Asuna.

“O-Oh. Of course. Not that I thought it was anything else” Stammered Asuna, she looked both relieved yet disappointed. I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

‘Haha yeah! I don't get excited that easily. I guess that will come to you as a surprise huh, though I’m in the mafia, I’m not that kind of beast.” Red laughed nervously as he kept waving the banana around in front of Asuna.

Red you liar. Even though he took the banana out, the bump in his pants hasn’t even gone smaller! Luckily for him, Asuna was too flustered to have noticed, however, this hasn’t escaped me! I can use this to tease him in the future.

They eventually settled down and had lunch. I sat there eyeing them hungrily. I should have brought a bento with me. My stomach grumbled in agreement. I was feeling a bit salty as I watched them being lovey dovey with each other while eating.

I was put onto high alert when Red suddenly turned around and took something out of his pocket. It was a white tablet… an illegal drug? I took out my phone, opened the camera and zoomed in on the package.

It was mint. After popping it in his mouth and chewing it, Red turned around.

“Oh, Asuna, you've got something on your lips” Said Red, he started blushing a bit now.

“Really?!” Said Asuna as she blushed as well, she was frantically trying to brush it off.

I don’t see anything on her lips! Oh wait, I know what Red is trying to do. I leaned forward a bit more.

“Let me get it for you.” Said Red just as he leans in and presses his lips against Asuna’s. Their faces were both bright red, filled with embarrassment, love, and happiness.

Meanwhile, my face was even more red! Red had used the move that Julius had done on Momma! Mann did it look cool.

“R-Red! I just ate so my breath… ahh how embarrassing!” Stammered Asuna.

They soon finished their lunch and packed up. I tailed them around the park for a bit. I had come up with the perfect plan. I slipped behind a rock. Right now, from eavesdropping on them, I know that they are heading for the Japanese tea ceremony house. I will head the other way, and then we will meet each other there. I will play it off as a coincidence.

“Mommy! There’s that creepy old guy again! He’s eavesdropping on the couple” Said a kid as he walked past me.

“Fudo! Don’t look! He’s a perverted old man!” Said the Momma as she pulled her son away.

Damn it! Just because my hair is gray doesn't mean I’m an old man!

I quickly walked around the pond towards the tea ceremony house. The little structure was built right along the bank of the pond, nestled amongst the trees, merging with nature. The tea house had pointed roofs and its corners were curved upwards in the style of a traditional Japanese building.

I saw Red and Asuna walking towards it, I quickened my pace and met up with them.

“Oh hey! Gray! You’re here as well!” Exclaimed Red as he ran towards me, pulling Asuna with him.

“Yeah, what a coincidence!” I said as I walked forward to meet them. “I see you went on a date with Asuna, is it your first?”

Good job me. Keep going like this, keeping it casual and diverting their attention onto themselves.

“Well, it’s our first date here, but third date in total.” Replied Red as he looked at Asuna fondly.

“Mommy look! It’s that creepy old pervert who was spying on the couple from earlier!” Exclaimed the passing kid.

“Fudo! Don’t look at the pervert. Keep walking.” Said his mother.

I froze. That kid again! And this time he blew my cover!

“Hey! Fudo! Just so you know, I’m 21! 21!!! That’s not old at all! Your momma’s the one who’s old!” I yelled as they passed by. I saw the surrounding people all turned around to look at me. An officer approached me and gave me a warning about disturbing the peace.

We walked around the garden after that. Looking at the water and the various plants have calmed me down a lot. I was also thanking the lucky stars that I haven’t bumped into that kid and his mother again. We were now lying on the grass, gazing at the clouds. Today was a clear day, it was hot so we were in the shade of a large tree. Now’s a good time to apologize.

“So um. Red and Asuna. I’m sorry about getting angry at you both. Instead of being happy about your relationship, I was the one who was trying to destroy it.” I said, I didn’t dare to look at either of them, I just kept staring at the sky.

“No, you don’t have to apologize. I get why you were angry, and it was our fault for keeping so many things from you.” Replied Asuna, she turned her head over to look at me with her earnest eyes.

Meanwhile, Red hadn’t said a single thing. He had his face turned away from me.

A heavy silence fell upon us. We just layed there, cooling off in the shade, and listening to the music of the cicadas.

“When you said either we break apart or leave, I was serious about leaving the mafia then.” Said Red as he finally responded.

I held my breath.

“Please don’t leave Red.” Was all I could come up with. A simple and concise sentence. More like a plea than a request. It had no convincing arguments to it, yet it was all that my heart had to offer.

“Promise me the same then. You told me you would leave the mafia as well.” Replied Red as he turned around to face me.

“Don’t worry Red. I wouldn’t think of leaving you guys.” I reassured him. However, I felt a pang in my chest from lying. I was always thinking and debating about leaving. I felt if I kept staying in the mafia, I would never feel satisfied with my life here.

If I were to leave, would I regret everything I left behind? Everything we’ve worked so hard to build, I would be abandoning them, and all the people who have supported me as well. However, would I also regret never leaving the mafia?

Lately, I’ve felt like my goal to find what true strength is hasn’t been my main motivation to leave now. I think the reality of things is that I was getting tired of the mafia life. It was stressful, it was tiring, and it felt bad. Being mafia means that we are hated by society. I don’t want to remain hated.

“Hey, you both. What do you think is true strength?” I asked.

“Well, for me, true strength is about accepting yourself. I couldn’t have learned that without Red.” Replied Asuna as she held his hand.

“And for me, it’s about learning to live on, no matter how tough life gets. I couldn’t have learned that without Asuna” Exclaimed Red as he interlocked his fingers with Asuna’s. He looked me in the eyes and smiled a devil’s smile. “Seems like I found what true strength is before you did Gray.”

“I envy you two.” I replied and smiled back. It was a bit frustrating how both Red and Asuna had been able to answer this question. I realized how the mafia played no part in their answer, they found true strength when they had met each other.

My stomach growled.

“Want this banana?” Asked Red as he took out the bruised banana from his pocket.

“No, I’m fine. I will eat once I get back.” I said as I quickly waved his banana off. Knowing where the banana had been, I wasn’t too keen on eating it.

I decided to head home before those two do. I was getting a bit too hungry. After having lunch, I met up with Evan. We were organizing the weapons and police cars that we had confiscated.

“We got a huge haul this time” Said Evan as he was humming a cheerful tune while sorting out the guns.

“Yep. I’m especially happy about the police cars we got. They have bullet proof glass and come with advanced communication systems too.” I replied as I was disabling the GPS trackers on them.

After work, I went to the park at Children’s Land. I spotted Hiro and iota in the field of dandelions. They were sparring each other in hand to hand combat.

Hiro was one of our mafia elites. He’s one of our best combatist, skilled with all sorts of weapons, parkour and martial arts. We don’t know much of his past, all he told us was that his parents were in the army. He’s also only 19 years old.

I was surprised to see that iota was managing to keep up with his moves, she was gracefully dodging and countering all of them. Hiro did a low sweep, instead of dodging it, iota used her leg to guide his leg and then pushed it straight up. She then straightened her fingers and rushed in to do a 1 inch punch at Hiro’s crotch.

Before she could reach it, Hiro fell backwards, and swung his leg up, it was going towards her face, but iota managed to turn to the side and his foot grazed her hair. She then lost balance and fell on top of Hiro.

Both their faces turned bright red. I clapped. They both turned around and looked at me.

“Yo.” I said as I waved at them. “That was quite the spar, I’m impressed by you two.”

“I had fun!” Exclaimed iota as she looked at me with excited eyes. “Grayfish has come to personally see our spar! Aren’t I skilled enough to become a mafia executive now??”

“Grayfish?!” Hiro and I stammered at the nickname she had given me.

“Ya! Do you like it? It sounds like crayfish, which is delish!”

“Please don’t call me that” I said as I sighed.

“Gray! Can we go on a date later?” Asked iota as she looked at me with puppy eyes.

“No.” I said. “Very soon we will be busy working with the police to take down the Red-Foxes in Japan. I have no time to spend on dating.”

“Aw man, but if it was Aoi who asked, I’m sure you would have said yes.” Responded iota with a mischievous smile.

“W-Well, I mean I can’t say that’s not true…” She got me there, that sneaky girl.

“How about you promise to date me if I do well on the next mission!” Exclaimed iota as she pointed at me.

“That is if we even let you go on the mission.” I told her with a stern glance.

“Ha! Yes! You didn’t say no!” Declared iota as she rose both hands up in the air.

“Can you get off of me now iota?” Said Hiro, his voice sounded squeaky as he was being crushed by iota.

“Ohh so now you finally tell me to get off you. Why didn’t you say that earlier?” Said iota as she teased him. Hiro’s face turned a tomato red.

“T-That’s because..” Stammered Hiro.

“You enjoyed it… Hiro you naughty boy” Said iota with a grin as she got off of him.

“Anyways, I’ll be going now. See you later.” I said.

“じゃあねまたね!” (see you later!) Called iota as I walked away.