Goodbye Rafael

“Cheers!”

The people clinked their metallic cans, from the food, with others’ mugs. The sound of the metallic light impact has echoed through the camp. The heavy stench of alcohol made it hard to drink, however the occasion was special.

Some pinched their noses while drinking the beverage. Some just drank it like water. Neven hasn’t even pinched when he gulped down the whole can.

“Told you Siggie. This is Shmurdyak*1, not Arak.”

Siggie downed half a can without making any expression nor noise.

“I’m not blind yet, I didn’t pass out. Better than half of the stuff we drunk.”

They sit on the stools, looking at the party going on.

“I’d rather to drink vodka.”

“You’d rather drink vodka than doing anything.”

“The more I spend with you, the more this piss seems like a better option.”

“I love you too Neven.”

A skinny man with a honey colored skin approached the duo.

“Siggie! How are you?” The man spoke with a Portuguese accent.

“Rafael! I’m good, you?”

“Pretty good. Though I’m a little sad. Feel like a high school graduation.”

“Well, you can’t stay in high school forever.”

“True…”

Rafael and Siggie shook hands.

“You’re the main reason why this party happens. Join the fun.”

Shmurdyak*1 – Russian slang, means that an alcoholic beverage is of poor quality.

Rafael raised his can and clinked with Siggie’s can.

“For your health Siggie!”

Both drank from the cans. The taste is bitter and strong, almost like medicine and almost as repulsive. Rafael returned to his wife and child. They talked with other members of the camp. Siggie and Neven haven’t heard what they were talking about, their voices have blended with the rest of the crowd noise.

“Hello gentlemen.” Nerayo came from behind.

“Good evening, Nerayo.”

“Sup?”

“You know, as usual. I’m going to give a little speech for the people. Help Rafael to get on his feet, you know - finance, plans, psychological help.”

“And after that?”

“I’ll need to have a word with you two. By the way, have you seen Danil?”

“No. Don’t really care to be honest. Now it’s time for adults to relax…”

Siggie finished his drink. He stands up and goes for another can. On his way, other people approach him and talk. They share a few laughs, toast together and then each one went in their own separate way.

Nerayo stood at the center of the crowd and raised his can. The crowd went silent.

“Thank you, I’ll take just a few minutes. I remember when we first met Rafael. That fated day every person has, the day every person will try to forget. We welcomed the Nazario family. They helped around the camp. They’ve become part of this strange family, bound only by grief. They didn’t just carry heavy things or built tents, they helped the other griefstricken.”

Nerayo takes a small pause.

“They became part of our big family, but there comes a time and the birds have to leave their nest. I’m glad that they’ve found the strength to continue forward. To try, and live normally despite the past. It is hard to face. Well, to be honest, all of us here are stuck in the past. I… am… still stuck in the past…”

Nerayo lightly scratched his neck, mostly out of discomfort than out of a physical itching.

“People came, people went. I’m glad that at least some go out of their own volition. I can’t and I won’t force anyone to march on. That is something you can do, out of your will. I don’t like alcohol. It numbs your mind, tastes awful and will always call for you when things go south. But for this occasion, I will raise a toast. For the Nazario family, may they find peace and happiness!”

Nerayo drank from the can he held. Everyone has clapped and drank from the cans. Some people just stood and stared at Nerayo. He took Rafael away from the spotlight to the shadows.

“Take this.” Nerayo handed Rafael a yellow thin folder. As he opened it, Rafael’s eyes have teared up.

“…Thank… You…” He inhaled heavily.

Inside the folder is a document named “The United States of America. Certificate of Naturalization”. There’s also an opened envelope with at least 14 100$ bills.

“There must be also three tickets. You don’t have much time.”

“This is too much… What about …you...?”

“We’ll manage. You’ve got a family to take care of. Let me at least help with a clean start. Your English is good enough. Find a place, then a job. Give the kid good education. This is your second chance.”

“1,400$? That’s too much... I can’t accept this.”

“Didn’t I put 4000$? Anyway, I know a few cheap places. The cost of living isn’t that high, though it’s definitely less developed than the cities or other states. If you think this is too much, then think of it as a loan. 0% Interest. Just return 4000$ in… 20 years.”

“Thank you! Thank you so much!”

“I just gave you the tools. You do the rest. Alright? Count the money first. Make sure you have 4000$”

Rafael started to count each bill.

“40 bills. That’s 4000?”

“Yeah, you even got basic math. You’ll have an advantage.” He clapped his shoulder with a grin on his face.

Meanwhile, Siggie walked away to the end of the camp. He found Danil lying on the sand, staring at the starry sky. In Siggie’s hand is a plate with a Pitah with Hummus and a single Kebab.

“Hey.”

Danil looked at Siggie for a moment, then returned to his stargazing.

“What?”

“Y’know, I thought I’ll do something nice to you once in a while. Now I regret it.”

“Okay. And?”

Siggie sighed deeply and sat down near Danil.

“If you don’t like me, why are you still here?”

“Well… Not a fan of parties… And besides, you’re my partner for the next missions. Life or death situations will be just another Monday. It’s important to build some trust.”

“Just send me alone and we’ll be fine.”

“That’s out of question. Say… Why are you distancing yourself from everyone?”

“…Not your biz…”

“Don’t you want to join the party? It’s pretty fun, even for me.”

“…Are you deaf? I don’t care.”

“Do you feel guilty? Or are you afraid?”

Danil silently lied down on his side, with his back to Siggie.

They spent a minute together in total silence, with distant noise from the ongoing party. Siggie looked up.

The night sky has a blue tint. The stars glow brightly. Within a closer look, the stars have a different color. Some are yellow, some are blue, some are red and some are white.

An even closer look in this rain of light, each star blooms with each own color. It may look similar to its neighbor, but one feels warmer, one colder. A glowing trail made of space cloud is right there, above and below them all.

“Why do you want to die so much? Don’t you have to take care of that kid?”

“…She’s... Already… Whatever, I don’t care…”

“You said you don’t care, but you still answer.”

“Just fuck off.”

“Guess what? I understand you Danil. What you’re feeling. This shit isn’t alien to me. You won’t join the party, not because you don’t like them. You don’t want to get closer, not because you hate people, well mainly… You won’t do it because you feel guilty, afraid….”

“I don’t.”

“You ask yourself ‘Why am I alive? Why did I survive? Of all the people?’ every single damn time.”

“No, I don’t!” His tone has gotten angrier.

“You must be thinking that you don’t deserve this. You must focus on your mission alone. Yet, you think how you’re the unluckiest person to go through this.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Well… You could say I have my own scars… I know what I’m talking about.”

They stayed silent for a few more minutes.

“…So… Uh… Scars…?” Asked Danil.

“Hmm… So you wanna know?”

“No…”

“Okay, if you don’t care I guess I won’t tell it. It’s a boring story anyway.”

Siggie stood up.

“No! Wait… I mean… Fine, yes!” Danil has turned to Siggie, sitting on the sand. Looking up from where he’s sitting.

“Another time. Enjoy this stuff.”

Siggie handed the plate to Danil and walked away. Danil picked it up and started eating the dish. Little by little.

Shortly after, he washed the plate with the water from the small oasis. He saw Siggie absolutely plastered on the ground with an empty can in his hand.

Shortly after, Danil went back to his tent where Katya is sleeping soundly. He looks at her peaceful face and smiles a little, but that smile is not of pure glee.

The next morning was silent. On the ground, puke of many colors could be found in any part of the camp. Sometimes silent moans of agonizing hangover could be heard in this cold but dry morning.

Danil went to the small lake in the middle of the Oasis. He washed away his sleepiness and went to the dining area for drinkable water.

There he found Siggie, lying on the ground near a puddle of puke. He reeks of Alcohol and a little bit of barf.

“Sorry sight. Dobro Jutro, by the way.” Neven startled Danil. He sits at the table, right near the pickup truck. He reads newspaper and flips through every page every few minutes, with no sound.

I didn’t even feel his presence. This guy… He’s definitely not a simple butcher.

“I told him it was fuzzy piss, but he didn’t listen.”

“This idiot doesn’t listen.”

“Though, don’t be so harsh on him. This is his only chance to sleep like an angel… A heavily hangover angel...”

This smell. It’s oddly nostalgic to me. Is that how I remember my home?

“Anyway, Nerayo told me he wants to see you. Though this time, you’ll have to wait for Siggie to wake up. Good luck.”

Danil fills the metal mug with water. He tilts the mug right above Siggie’s head. He tilts it a little more, but then he just puts it on the table. No drop has landed on Siggie. Danil went back to his tent.

The light from outside barely enters the tent. It’s almost dark, with a few sunrays piercing the perforated parts of the tent.

Katya sleeps peacefully, fully covered in a wool blanket. Danil stares at her face, showing no emotion.

At least for you, I’ll avenge you.

He slowly caressed her hair. With each pat, the motion has degenerated into a more aggressive, powerful movement. The moment Danil felt that he has applied force, he stopped.

He looked at his hand and clenched it into a fist. He just sat there, staring into the abyss. Waiting for Katya to wake up.

“Ahh!” Katya startled Danil.

Suddenly, the sunrays illuminate entirely the whole tent. She looks at him with a happy smile. Danil tries to return one as well.

“Good morning! How did you sleep?” Danil spoke with a higher tone.

“Ahh… Ahh!”

“I see! I see! Well? Wanna brush the teeth?”

“Ohh… Ehh…”

“Oh c’mon! It’s good for ye teeth! I’ll get ya something sweet later.”

“Ahh…”

Does she even understand me?

They exited the tent and went to the oasis. Danil washed Katya’s face, helped her with brushing her teeth and brought her to the dining area.

The people are already cleaning up, except for Siggie. He’s just sitting on a chair. A trained eye would easily deduce that they’re looking at a corpse, during Rigor Mortis due to the color of the skin and the smell emanating from it.

It doesn’t even move… No wait… Something is illogical… A corpse wouldn’t move, but this one does. It breathes. Maybe it’s the gasses building up. The corpse should explode any minute now.

Neven got out a piece of bread and cheap chocolate paste. Danil has spread the paste onto the bread and fed it to Katya. While she’s busy eating, Danil approached Siggie.

“You good?”

“…Bleh…” He murmured

“What?”

“…Atah…”

“…Atah?”

“…Wa…terrrr… Ugh…”

Danil went and got a metallic mug. He filled it with water and gave it to Siggie. He grabbed the handle and started drinking from it.

“Argh… Tanks…” he said with his weak voice.

“Nerayo is waiting…”

“Hold on… Just a minute…”

Danil grabbed Siggie with his all might, and dragged him into the lake in the middle of the oasis. He dropped his head in the water.

In the first few seconds, there was no response. Just occasional air bubbles coming from the bottom. After that, he jumped out with a wet head and heavy breathing.

“Damnit… At least warn me next time…”

“Nerayo is waiting.”

“My head’s killing me…”

Danil dragged Siggie by his arm. Nerayo saw the condition Siggie’s in.

“Good morning, especially you Siggie. That’s one of the reasons I don’t drink. How’s your head?”

“…Banging louder than the Big Ben...”

“Well, thanks for dragging Siggie, Danil. I’ll keep it short. Killing Saadiq wasn’t enough. The king’s side had an interest in contracting Gunkata.”

“So we killin’ the king?”

“No, that would be an unnecessary risk. The man in question is Jallal Amini, colonel of the royal army. He needs to be assassinated. I’ll give the details when Siggie can finally listen to me.”

“Huh? What? Oh yes… Yeah…”

→ To be continued

Author’s note

So I’m finishing up the chapter instead of finishing my homework in Statistics. Wish me luck. If you’re from the future, know what price this chapter has. Anyway I’m off to post this thing. Good luck, future Anregni!