Chapter 7 - last week of suspension - remembering the street life

After that commotion and Melissa took the files, it’s boring now, nothing else to do. I woke up see outside my house with nature in front of it. I took a deep breath, Hana also followed me together. She giggle

“I followed you hehehe..”

I only smile at her and we went out to workout, and exercise.

“UP!!”

“Up!!”

“DOWN!!”

“Down!!”

“LEFT!!”

“Left!!”

“RIGHT!!”

“Right!!”

Hana followed my every word. She looks cute like that. Sam woke up and he start to stand up with a baby sound

“Ohh…wee….”

Hana then played with him. Looking after them. I wonder what have happen if I’m just stuck with street life as a gangster in LA with Damien. Hell, I would be a lost soul as well, and Hana will always remember me as a monster. That is if Natalie and mom did not found me in the cell with Damien. Dammit remembering it always making me cry.

1995, Arizona the year that happen after I had a fight with dad. I got beaten up, bleeding my mouth and my back lie down. Dad whip me with his leather belt. Mom tried to stop him. I kick him in the nuts, and knee him to the face. I ran away from my home. That is when I went dark. There I saw some kid outside hanging around with a car. The way they dress, is like a brotha. But my body was weak. I heard someone was talking to me

“Yo bro, you alright?”

I fainted and when I woke up in someone house, a rundown house. A black guy looking at me and said to me.

“Yo, that is some wound, what happen…”

“Got a fight…with my dad….”

“What to go back kid?”

“no….I hate it”

I was weak, I hated it, when people look at me like a cute boy that’s when they think I’m weak. I was only 10 at that time. But I got involved something really dark but I suddenly like it. He introduce himself

“I’m Darrel, you know I rarely seen anything like this, boy you got it rough…”

“……”

Someone is shouting, “you brotha what the hell!!”

“Shut it kid, but I like his look, like a dead man”

“Yo, we gotta go…”

“Kid we going back to LA, because Damien just want to visit his dad”

“…..”

“Still… are you interested?”

“What?”

“Since you don’t want to go home, why not join us?”

I don’t want to go back, not after that dad going to hurt me more then I said that I’m going to regret

“Alright, I’ll join”

“Alright soldier welcome to 102, need to a change of clothes though, I ain’t bringing someone who will look like a killer, they scared shitless seeing you like that”

He took a spare of clothes and I went out. We travel back, from Arizona to California. I learn a lot during my travels in a car that seems to be a wreck but he said that he also need to lay low until in LA, because the police is targeting them. I learn to use weapons, fighting like them, Darrel is a former US marines that served during the Serbian conflict. He was deported after a fight with a sergeant because of his skin. Darrel taught me a lot about fighting like a soldier, always telling philosophy in his own words. Other words brainwash, 102 gang is all about taking control the gangs in LA. Well, it did make me gone insane at some point, we called it homesickness but Darrel gave me a weed to calm me down. Darrel is tall 6’1 to be the least, Damien is his little brother. Then Darrel taught me how to use a gun, my first gun is a m9 which he made a deal with a soldier that handles the armoury in LA army base. But It was large though, Darrel and the gang laugh at me in how I handle the gun. I was impress with Darrel handle the gun, I practice shooting with the pistol shooting cans from 10 meters away.

Damien and me had a rough start because he felt that Darrel paid attention to me rather than him. We always fight against each other. A little asian is part of the gang, is something it never happen. 102 is consist of 50 people all together, and Darrel is the leader of the gang, most of them are former soldiers from the US army. What about killing experience? I did, when some asshole, another Mexican drug pusher, that sells drugs within our turf. I was with Damien and another member of the gang. I wore a typical dress those black American gangster wore, sneakers and a black nike jacket and a bandana on my head.

Natalie? I known her since I arrived in America, during the first day of school, a strange girl, weird to be the least, wearing a classical victorian dress to school. This is not old west, must have screw loose that’s what my first impression of her. But it change after I had a fight with her. She beat me though, never knew she is good with boxing. We always fight every time in school, hell even mom tried to ask me to be gentle with girls. Gross that what’s my first impression, but when I saw her alone even during lunch time. I began to pity her, she is cute though but she is also being bullied among the girls. That’s when I took my courage and protected her. It was a rough start but slowly we begin to share each other’s lunch. She is a subject of being bullied and abuse because of being a half native American among her own skin. We slowly understand each other we become close to the point walking together, and brought her to her house. Her dad Mr Hawk, at first suspicious of me. We always hang around outside her house. Our first kiss? Yeah when I was only 9 years old, a year before I had a fight with dad. She has talent in arts especially fashion, a prodigy in fashion. Thats when she accepted in the International school of arts in New York. She said it was temporary and will return after 3 months there.

During in LA, my experience being a gangster is already part of me, Damien also started to get along with me. Darrel also started to teach us in military training, fighting like a soldier and act like a soldier. Our first robbery, is a small shop that belongs to an asian owner, then we started taking control other turfs. Our gang just got bigger, and Darrel have also change, Damien told me

“Yo nigga, seems brotha Darrel ask us to visit some houses that someone own him money”

“They don’t give shit to kids like us”

“I’m big you know, don’t worry about a thing..”

Darrel is tall 5’11 so he look like an adult compared to other kids. So we drive his car, bring our guns. Looking at a house, and Damien kick the door that it broke.

“Yo nigga, what’s up!!”

“Hey Damien!! Come on man, I’ll pay him back, just give me time…”

I’m handling the door while Damien doing the loan shark jobs. I heard a gun shot, it was guy that shot Damien and I shot him back, on his shoulder but two bullets hit my shoulder. Yeah it hurts like hell. My body however had become buff because of constant training with Darrel. My height also increase from 5’0 to 5’4, my face changes as well. My eyes become smaller like a killer. After the incident, Damien treated my wounds luckily the bullet went through between the collar bones it only hit the flesh but It leave a big hole in my shoulder. Darrel look at me and said to me and Damien.

“You had it rough huh…”

“Yeah its nothing…”

“Damien, Alex I’ve got something to talk to you…”

“What is it brotha?”

“This gang is getting bigger, and I know without you guys this gang is smaller especially Alex who help us a lot, our own little muscle”

“Is that a compliment?”

“Well, don’t forget at the same time I’ve teaching you guys but I felt this path is getting harder and I don’t want you guys going deep”

“What the hell, brotha!?”

“What is going on?”

“Its been a year, you know, you miss a year of your lifetime”

“This is the best of my life, what the hell I miss it?”

“Alex at least had sex with other babes, they did not realise that you’re younger than them…”

“Hey don’t forget about me, me and Alex had fun with Naomi, she is hot as hell, sexy as hell, threesome right Alex?”

“Heh, whatever what the hell you trying to show off with Darrel”

“This is the last push but I want you guys to stay out of it”

I was pissed because we work so hard just to make 102 like this, Damien however seem to understand what is going to happen.

“Is that what I’m thinking?”

“Yeah I want you to leave 102 because the police is marking us now. But not without the last job, what I want you to do is rob this pawn shop they had something that I want to destroy, a cassette, a video about us…”

“Is that so, well after jobs done?”

“You go home in my safe house in Hollywood…”

“Nigga we are going to be rich, filthy rich, fucking bitches every day right homie”

“Heh..”

That moment changes our life. We did it visit the pawn shop, it was shootout, between the owners of the pawn shop. I manage to get what Darrel wanted us and we destroy the cassette. When we return back home, the house was on fire, Darrel was dead with bullet holes in his body. I was pissed that time, Damien is despair because his brother had died. I drag Damien out, we fight for our lives trying to escape. We lay low in a motel. I could not believed what have happen, and a letter which I believed Darrel slip through my pocket. He said that he was been betrayed and he started to destroy the remaining gang members that betray him. 102 suddenly lost in history, like dust in the floor. Forgotten, Damien and me discuss what to do after this. Another problem that the police arrest us. Damien manage to free me and I escape. My pistol is running out of bullets, I taught maybe I use this last bullet to shoot myself. One of the policeman shoot my gun, and arrest me. The police arrest me and punch me in my gut, I fainted.

When I woke up, I was strap with hand cuff. In the cell I saw Damien in the next cell. I could not say any word. One of the policeman brought me, my wound from the previous shootout still hurts and I was in bandages. My eyes don’t believed with the police, I was in the interrogation room, then someone who look like a detective asking me question about the gang.

“So….”

“A young kid like you, what the hell Darrel is doing…”

“Yeah…”

“Darrel taught you to become a terrorist you know…”

“Rebels….”

“Hmm…seems that you become rough huh…I know you background kid…hell, I could not believed it that you manage to beat your dad like that”

“That asshole, he deserved it”

“Broken nose and tooth, that is deserving of life in youth prison you know…”

“Then what else….”

“Well you need to know the truth…”

The detective explain that Darrel become a police agent after found out that his gang is in the middle of a huge drug war. The 102 become the centre point between that conflict. Darrel is the one that ask for pardon for me and Damien in return to collaborate with the police.

“Well Darrel ask us that you and that kid, to have nothing related to the gang”

“What!?”

I was angry at that point because to me it was recognition but never realise that I was grateful to Darrel.

“So kid, you name here does not exist okay, you’re off the hook. But I had to rehab you to get back in life after being gangster for a year including that kid”

“Then….”

“Military training, and back to school program compliment from Darrel”

“….”

“Thanks though, sorry for Darrel he helps us a lot in this mission we manage to apprehend all the culprits including the remaining 102 members.”

“…..what will happen to me and Damien?”

“You got family….and friends….that cared deeply for you”

“Huh….I left that family…”

“No..you run away…it’s time for you to face it again…you’re strong I could feel it…I hope we don’t see each other again, other than having a coffee together in a cafe ok kid”

“Yeah…”

I pause a bit, and the police brought me out of the room, where I head out and sit at a bench. I started to think what am I going to do, because the only think in my mind right now is killing myself. I had everything money and power now all of it gone like the dust in the floor. I close my eyes began to cry. Suddenly something hitting my body like someone tackling me. I fell from the floor, in shock and too weak to respond. I open my eyes it was Natalie, she is crying and hugging me really hard.

“You stupid asshole!! You have me and just stay at my house!! not running away like that!!!”

“Nat…”

My mom saw me as well, she hugged me as well, I saw Mr Hawk was there as well.

“Son!!! Is that you right!!! I’m glad you safe!!”

“Mom…”

Natalie carried me up, I was took weak to stand. My wounds from the shot before open up. I begin to bleed again. Natalie is terrified to see it. She use her scarf and covers it. I never seen her like this, nonstop she crying for me. I saw Damien also is there with his dad, he approach me and said to me.

“Thanks Alex, I heard from Damien that you pull him out from the shootout”

He bows down and crying as well. Natalie is really close to me, never letting me go anywhere. I tried to cheer her up.

“Look…. Nat, I’m just really tired, I ain’t running away now.”

“Shut up….not anymore….not while I’m here…”

Mr Hawk was the one that found me, and the detective that talk to me is his close friend.

“Kid…that’s a stupid move you did there, your mom went crying to me and Nat because you disappeared….”

“……”

“Just like a brave red apache….but to me you just a little coyote joining a pack….”

“…..”

“Alex….”

“Sorry….Mr Hawk….I….can’t….say….anything….”

“I just heard from Detective Tracy that you try to kill yourself!?”

“……”

“That’s why I call you a red apache…”

“…….”

I could not say anything because its been a year and I’m the one severed the connection between my family.

“Well kid, we need you patch up”

He ask the police for a med kit and Natalie treat my wounds. Damien did not say anything only look at me with a smile while crying. I know that he still yearn for his big brother. I look at Mom, I know that she is ashamed of me. But where is dad?

“Hey….mom?”

“Yeah Alex…”

“Where’s dad?”

“He…I…ask him to leave, he say awful things about you….the community neighbours help me to break the fight. After you beat him, he did not said anything. Uncle Pan slap him and ask him to leave the place…”

“Heh…typical…”

“He did not even try to look for me….”

“He did but….he….”

Mr Hawk then explain what mom said to him.

“He did when he approach me, he suddenly shouted at your mom blaming her for my stunts. We did counselling with the two. Your dad did not listen, he just leave the place and return to Malaysia telling that you mom is responsible for you. Nat was not happy though she even shouted at your dad. You're told me everything what’s between your dad and mom. And I know that he even beat you. I have been wondering if he even cared for you.”

“Alex….sorry but I don’t know that you have gone through that…”

“……yeah….is my fault….because I ran away not protecting my mom that time…did dad beat mom again”

“No..Alex…he was scared of you….of how you become like that…and how you act like that”

“Mr Hawk look around and found out that you join a very dangerous gang in LA the 102…”

Natalie hold my arm tighter and she said to me

“don’t you ever do that stunts again ever like ever okay…?”

“Yeah….”

“Promise..”

“Promise…”

We hold hands until reaching to another house in LA, a relative of Mr. Hawk family, we stay there and Hana is there, she charges at me never realise that she is already 3 years old, she cried to me

“waaaa…do..n’t….leave…..!!!”

Natalie was really close to me never letting me go anywhere. Even Mom had a say about this.

“Natalie, stick like that I’m going to let you marry him…” Mom giggle

Natalie blushed and said to me

“I don’t want to lose sight of Alex because he might run away again…”

“Put on leash on him, make sure he don’t run away….”

“I will consider it…”

The family really know how cheer things up.

While Natalie is helping her Mom making dinner, I was outside of house looking at the skies. Damien is also together with us with his family.

“yo…homie…”

“Yeah, you cool?”

“Yeah we did a lot of talking with my family, about Darrel. Dad is sad that Darrel did not make it”

Damien show me a letter that he sent to his dad.

“Hey dad,

How are you, sorry that I not someone that makes you proud, after that stunts I pull I was dispose from the Marines because of it, Dad had to work even harder for money. Here I drop some money that I work in LA. but I brought Damien and another kid, whose eyes is that someone that died, I can’t believed someone like that exist, I still remember when I’m on duty in Serbia a kid like that always going into darkness, or worst kill himself.

The truth is I was reassignment under the FBI, involving with the drug cartel that roam in LA, so they assign someone like me to be involved in with the gangs, so I form a gang to make it legit. But finding these two lost kid is something I want to make them different from others. This kids is pure in heart. They just absorb anything they learn, so I train them to be a soldier.

I realise that the dark things that happen in LA red light district makes them even worst. But I’m fascinated with Alex because he is the only one that focus with his job, never been astray. Hell, I’m even scared what he is going to become if he is that efficient but makes me happy the most, that he always have time to hang around with Damien like he wanted to be buddies. I know that Damien will be safe while Alex is around.

My last job now and I hope that this money is enough to rebuilt back your workshop dad. I hope Damien looking for his future. Here is another recommendation, if Damien interested in engineering, I’ve got friend with MIT he say he will arrange it. And for Alex if he found what he wanted give this money to him, is not much though.

See you Dad, may the Jesus protect you and our family,

Salute

2nd Lieutenant Darrel Hopkins

Former Marines of US Armed forces - expeditionary forces - 109 Unit

Damien and me cried that he actually protected us until the end.

“Damn, Darrel….”

“Asshole big brother….”

We could not said any word because how much Darrel really meant to us, the only person that I look and respect as a big brother.

I look at the thick envelop, an account book, which had my name, USD 1,000,000.00, what the fuck, how much does this gang own?

Damien told me he also got a million dollars as well. I ask Damien to keep hold it, and a small letter drop from the account book. A note from Darrel.

‘Have you found your purpose?, since you told me you have a girlfriend that you left suddenly marry her or something. Use this money for your own good, don’t waste on bitches in LA, they are a bunch of gold diggers’

Homies for life

Love,

Darrel

“Son of a bitch…..Darrel”

“Hahahahahaha!!!! The fuck you never told me that you have a girlfriend!! What the hell you have playing with chicks in LA for?!!”

“Fuck you!! Damien if she hears it!!”

“Yeah, what will happen?”

Oh shit Natalie heard it, Damien tried to run away only been pull back by Natalie. I could see her face, which is looking for blood. Damien and me were really scared.

“Alex…”

“….yeah…?”

“What did you do….?”

“…..nothing….just shooting at people….” I could not look at her. Fucking scary

“Really?!…..”

Her eyes were of a yandere really looking to kill us both. Her gaze change towards Damien

“Damien?!….”

“Oh…..nothing….babe….”

Damien whispered to me “hey you did not tell that this is your babe?”

“…..”

Natalie look at me in really bad mood

“Looks like my dog is really horny, looking for other females eh?……”

“Oh shit…..”

“Homie, what do you mean oh shit?”

“Nat….other than that please….”

Natalie took two dog collar and tied with a rope.

“Bitch what the hell?”

Natalie deadly gaze at both of us that even Damien went quiet, if Darrel see this, he must have ashamed in heaven.

“I could only see two dogs in my eyes….”

Damien and me is sweating like crazy knowing that Natalie is going to find out what we have doing with chicks in LA, those hookers.

Damiens dad Mr Hopkins said to Natalie

“Just teach them a lesson Nat…until they soften up!!”

My mom is even worst

“Let them be together for a while”

Mr Hawk said to us

“Since those boys is a man, better take it like a man”

Damien were looking at me looking scared, I realise that he was not in despair any longer. I beg of him not to spill it, as what happen in LA, leave in LA. Only suddenly someone told her.

“They always hang around with chicks in LA, seems Damien and Alex have the same taste of girls there…!”

Who the fuck!! It was Detective Tracy and his police friend, he sold us out. Natalie hair suddenly rise up and she look like that demon girl in “ the exorcist”

“Hahahaha…so…you run away so you have babes to have fun with eh….?”

“Fuck….we’re dead….”

“Just beat Alex not me Nat….”

“Son of a… don’t you rat me out of this!”

“She your babe not my problem….”

She stomp her legs at Damien

“Damien you also involved in this as long you with Alex, you are also guilty….”

I don’t want to remember what happen next, I believe Damien also don’t want to remember, Natalie part of being really angry. Countless of torture to the point I forgot that I was once a gangster.

Our bodies filled with bruises. While Damien was traumatise in a comedic way that he said he promise not to find any girls until he is brave enough to date one. While Natalie nurse me back.

“How could a girl do that……not even a gangster…could do that…..”

“Damien, there is more to girls than meet the eye”

“I would never wanted to see any girls until I’m strong enough to face them….”

We return back to Arizona. Damien return to his home, while Natalie stay at my home. She wanted me to recover back and study what. I have miss during my time as a youth Gangster that’s what my mom told me about. Mom decide that she wanted me to stay with Natalie because she doesn’t want me to live in a place where the incident happen.

I lived with Natalie’s place for a year, Mr Hawk always teaches us and guiding me. I remember he brought me to a place which is sacred for the Hopi tribe. Natalie wore her native american attire and tell me that her dad wanted to give me a ritual of being a man.

“This is not religious just a ritual for you as being a warrior. I realise that went you went out to see the outside world, you are not a kid anymore so I will give you our tribe name you will be called ‘Cheveyo’ meaning spirit warrior”

Natalie smile and said that she is been called ‘Shanay’ meaning beautiful eyes. Yeah it’s a cute name for me. I was painted in my body but remember that when my late grandpa and grandma gave me a ritual as well, I remember it as a warrior as well. We return back and Mom was there as well seeing me in a red Indian culture. We took a picture together in our traditional attire. Natalie look really cute in her traditional dress.

I attend with Damien in the military school for the back to school program, our head were shaved and 2 months of intense training, and finally we return back to school. But Damien suddenly said to me that he wanted to revived the 102 I tried to warn him about it.

“homie….”

“Is just that we always remember Darrel that we were once in the 102”

“Just don’t do anything stupid got it…”

“Yeah….I just can’t allow myself to forget him…”

“Don’t forget just hold it for me will ya…”

“yeah….don’t forget it, maybe it could be of use someday…”

I promise myself that I will use it when the time is right. Remembering it back how far had Darrel guide us, teach us his own philosophy of life. I wonder if Darrel seeing me now how he will react. I lift my fist towards the skies

“Hey Darrel, look after for us…in the heavens….”