Chapter 1:

Night

Upon Tonight


"All day he waits. Constantly moving.
One person sees him, while one does not.
Everyone lives while he's away. When he comes by, everyone stops.
Constantly outshined. He has no choice, but to show. It's his habit.
Filled with darkness. Filled with mistakes.
It'll be over in the morning.
Until tomorrow night."

I wrote that short poem not too long ago. It fits a night such as tonight. Nights such as tonight fill me with curiosity on why I feel this way. I am here alone, in my gala that might as well be a lowly hut with no one to appreciate it with. But here I am, wanting to be by myself, but afraid to be alone. Left alone with the thoughts in my head, and visions of all the people and possibilities that surround me in my maze of a shelter. But here I am, yearning and lusting for the feeling of love. But for lust is deadly, nor not as deadly as truly being alone. I occasionally wonder if these visions of people around could be real, but yet they won't acknowledge me. I am here truly alone. I spend all my time and money to keep this feeling alive. The feeling that maybe a place like this would draw people in. I constantly wait for someone to show up on their own. It doesn't feel the same if I beg them to show. I also am too disconnected to be able to interact with the common people. Once a member, now dislocated from society and those around me.

Here I am, constantly focusing on the one feeling above all. The feeling of sadness. Nothing to do about it now but to ponder on it. Never to really be happy.

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Upon Tonight