The road to insanity

After we successfully retrieved our stuff that we left behind, a hour had passed. The sky had adopted an orange hue, as the sun began to set. The street poles lit up, as stores reached their closing hours. I and Naomi were walking on a sidewalk, heading for our home as well. Today was a busy day, it left me completely drained.

“I’m tired..” Naomi said, after stretching her arms. She quickly wrapped around my arm, and embraced me tightly.

“Me too….” I muttered quietly, as my gaze was focused on the path below us. It slowly turned to Naomi, a smile had slowly formed on my face. I pulled her closer, and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

We continued our walk home in complete silence.

After we arrived home, I had let go of Naomi, as I grabbed the key in my left pocket and opened the door with it. I urged Naomi to enter first, she gladly took my offer. After Naomi had entered, I followed suite, and close the door behind me.

“Finally, we’re back home.” I said, as I took of my jacket and tossed it to the coat rack next to me.

“You’re right, it certainly feels nice,” Naomi said, while taking of her heels. ”Well, I’m going to prepare dinner.“ She had put on her slippers, and headed towards the kitchen.

“Sure.” I said, as I put on mine. When I saw her figure disappear, the smile I had on faded, leaving a cold expression on my face. I walked towards the couch in the living next to the hall.

I took a seat on it, and grabbed the tv-remote from the table in front of it. I turned on the tv, switching between channels, looking for something interesting to watch. Nothing had caught my interest though, so I turned it back off. I was planning to check my phone, but I really didn’t feel like moving around to much.

As I was being sunk into my couch, my body relaxed and my mind freed of any stress. Slowly my sight began blurring, I blinked several times. Unable to resist this urge, I felt my consciousness drifting away, slowly drowning into the dark, endless void.

While my body was recovering from the exhaustion it had build up, a small portion of my consciousness was still active. Despite its small size and lack of any reasonable source, it still operated normally. It made it possible to be in an ‘awake’-state, as I could still think clearly.

Unfortunately, the only downside was that I could neither speak, nor feel. I had lost every physical attribute about me, since I was nothing more than a bright light ball right now. The one thing still present was my sight, but something felt wrong about it. I couldn’t look to my side anymore, but I was still able to see from there.

If you’re as confused as I am, I’ll try to explain. The only thing I could compare it to is like having the vision of a spider. Like a spider, who has eyes around its head, that can see things independently with each eye, that was exactly what I’m experiencing right now. However, despite being able to see everything around me, my vision was mostly blurred. That could also be explained, for that we can go back to our spider comparison. Despite being able to utilise most of their eyes, their sight isn’t that sharp. Anything beyond twenty centimeters was for the most part a blurry mess.

I too experienced this, and until a few moments ago, I was having a hard time. Since I left the physical realm, I thought I also lost all my emotions. But to my surprise, when my ‘eyes’ were still adjusting, I was somehow able to feel dizzy. I definitely learned something today. Anyway.

My sight sharpened, and the blurriness vanished. I switched between my 'eyes', but I saw nothing except the dark walls of the void, it was pitch black. The feeling of loneliness had spread through my mind, the light of my ‘body’ dimmed slowly. As the darkness slowly swallowed me, it was then that I noticed something. After I switched to the sight that looked mostly below me, I saw circular cut-out in the depths, faint light escaped from it.

I hadn’t given any thought of it, but what really got my interest was that same light source was somehow getting closer. I thought that I stood still the entire time, so it really caught me off guard. Anyway. When I got relatively close, I was suddenly blinded by a white flash, the sharp sensation pained me, but not for long, as it went away a second later.

When my sight returned, I was getting confused. What is this place? I asked myself. This place was vacant, just like the void I was in a few moments ago. The only difference was that instead of being completely dark, the wall of this place were bright white.

Then right in front of me, a video began playing on one of the walls. Huh... Isn’t that me? I saw myself look into the mirror, I was tidying my hair. Wait a minute, didn’t that happen today? My inspection was confirmed when I saw myself leave the bathroom after getting dressed, and heading downstairs.

So the video playing right now could only be one thing. My memory, my mind concluded. I watched in silence as the memory continued playing. It was now at the part when I arrived at the dining room, but something felt weird about this. As I saw Naomi’s mouth moving, there was no sound to be heard. It was completely silent.

What the heck? Is my hearing also gone? Well that sucks. It made things even more weirder. Like I get that I couldn’t feel nor speak, since I didn’t have a physical body, but that doesn’t explain why my sight was still fine. Likewise for the dizziness I felt not long ago, it normally shouldn’t have been possible, but I was still able to feel it despite that.

I mean, doesn’t it sound confusing to you? This entire place didn’t make sense, it certainly doesn’t seem to work on logic. Maybe I’m just dreaming, and for a moment I really believed that, but I feel to awake that it just doesn’t seem to be the case.

As I couldn’t get an answer of what is place truly is, the memory before me had increased its speed, as it started playing faster. Huh? It skipped through my argument with Naomi, and our discussion at the kitchen. Hell, it even skipped through our shopping session.

It was now playing the events that happened at the restaurant. I couldn’t keep up anymore, like what the hell. Why did it start skipping through the entire morning, and stop at this particular moment?

I watched closely, still questioning the point of it all. Now it was at the moment I saw Akemi talk to Naomi. Of course, at the time I didn’t know it was him, so I confronted him like a complete moron. Even now in my spatial body, I could still feel the shame spread through my core. I looked back at the memory playing, it was now at the moment I realized it was him. As I watched, I could still feel that hand of his touch my shoulder. Those feelings all came to me, as fear began spreading. Then came those words he said. The memory focused on his lips, ‘Pig-kun.’ I read.

It was then that the memory started glitching, its image distorting. The white walls around me too started dimming and brightening. After a moment, everything went dark. Slowly fear began consuming me, as then right in front of me the scene from before appeared again. I saw those same lips speak the same words over and over again. I switched my view several times, but I still saw the same scene playing. Unable to look away, I begged that it would end quickly.

The memory began glitching again, everything around me became dark. It was then that a screeching noise began invading my mind. I can hear again? Unable to do anything about it, that noise tortured me for felt like several minutes. After those hellish minutes passed, the sound disappeared. I thought I was saved from this nightmare. But then I saw several figures form from every corner. As their appearances became clear, I fell into depths of despair.

They all wore wicked smiles, their eyes completely dark. The fear I had managed to compress for six years now were now coming back to me. They appearance were of young boys that I knew all to well. They were the ones that abused me since I was little. They all came closer, as I stood still, completely frozen. Their smiles grew wider, like they enjoyed making me suffer.

Every memory I had with each of them began replaying as I looked at every single one of them. It was as if I relived it all again. As if to make the situation any worse, they all began laughing hysterically. They slowly disformed, exposing their true nature. They weren’t human after all. They were demons, straight from hell.

They continued laughing as my mind was slowly giving out. I wanted it to end, but I was unable to wake up. Then one of them began speaking. “We’re coming for you!” it said, while pointing at me.

“It’s gonna be fun, like old times.” another said, while laughing. Others began laughing as well, as if agreeing with him.

Fear continued to eat me, as I felt my core shaking. My sight began blurring, as the second passed. Slowly every figure disappeared, leaving only the one right in front of me.

“Sleep well,” it said, an eerie smile plastered on its face.

“Piggy.” and that was the last thing I heard from it as it also disappeared. I fell right back into the void as the place around me began crumbling.

I was ascending at an incredible speed, even I had trouble processing what was going on. I began hearing a voice call to me. “Akira..” It was that sweet feminine voice that brought comfort for my heart. As I continued ascending, the voice got louder. “Akira..” I heard again. “Wake up.” it was then that I slowly regained consciousness.

After I came to, I opened my eyes slowly. I blinked several times, my vision sharpened. Suddenly I felt something rubbing my cheek. I looked to my left, to the one touching me. It was Naomi, my wife. She wore a wide smile on her face, as she hunched forward. After what I experienced not long ago, seeing her softened the pain inside me, it made it all the more bearable.

“Hey..” she said, her smile still shone brightly.

“Why did you decide to wake up now? I’ve been calling you for fifteen minutes now.” she said, her tone hinted her inner rage. She bit her lip, as a vein had appeared on her face. The two finger that were gently stroking my cheek, were now pinching me with their full strength.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I felt the painful sensation grow. I began to yell out in pain. She pinched harder, her eyebrows twitched in anger. I couldn’t do anything about it. I was trapped with nowhere left to go. I can only bear the pain, and hope that she would end this quickly.

She stopped not long after, but not before pouting, her bulging cheeks turned red. I rubbed over the place she just pinched me.

“You’re really mean. Did you know that?” I grunted, whilst looking at her.

Instead of responding she simply sighed, her shoulders slumped. She straightened her back, and stared straight at me.

“Dinner’s ready.” she said, as she went to the dining room.

I followed her quietly, and once there I took a seat at the table. There were two dishes in front of me. One was a stir-fry dish with chicken breast on top, it also had peas and mushrooms spread over it. The other dish was freshly cooked rice, perfectly heated to room temperature, in a bowl. It came with two chopsticks.

I looked at the person before me, she was silently praying before digging in. It seemed she was hungry too. I said my prayer, and began eating as well.

After we were done eating our dinner, we didn’t talk to each other for the entire evening. It was now around ten o’clock. I was tucked in my bed, whilst scrolling through my phone. I kept scrolling until I got bored, and turned my phone off. My gaze turned to the ceiling, my mind was slowly wandering off.

Not long after I heard several knocks on the door. I sat up straight, and looked at the door, which was now half open. Someone had entered, and they closed the door behind them. The lights weren’t on, so I couldn’t see who just entered, but I could already guess who it was.

“Are you awake?” Naomi asked, she had her legs crossed, her hands behind her back.

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” I responded.

“Nothing… It’s just… You know..” even though it was completely dark, her red cheeks were still visible to me. She had turned her head to her side.

“What? Come on, just tell me.” I was getting confused. What was so embarrassing that she’s being so evasive about it? Naomi took a deep breath, her gaze turned towards me.

“W-we’ve been married for three years now. Don’t you think it’s time… for.. for that.” she said, her tone hinted her shyness.

“What are you talking about?”

"You know... That thing my parents are always talking about..." she said, as she began slowly walking towards our bed. As she got closer, the moonlight from outside the window began brightening the room. When her elegant figure became clear, my mouth was left open.

Her nightgown was translucent, exposing her womanly features, and her child-like face, that only could be described as “cute”. My eyes wondered about as I didn’t know where to look at, that was how adorable she looked. It made my heart skip a beat. The only thing I could compare it to was an angel that came down from the heavens above.

She looked clearly embarrassed, as her cheeks turned even redder. When she reached the corner of our bed, she got on it, and began to crawl towards me, like a cat. As she got closer, I was slowly going backwards, until I couldn’t any further.

When she had reached the middle of our bed, she sat on her knees, her back hunched forward and her gaze looking straight at me. As I was being engulfed by her erotic stare, I felt my body temperature rising, my cheeks reddened.

“By that you don’t mean..” I said, and then gulped, as blood began rushing towards my brain. She responded with a hmm, and nodded with her head. I finally understood what she was talking about.

Her parents, in particular her mother, had been bugging us about it for quite some time now. Every time we would visit them, they would always ask the same question, ‘Did you guys do it yet?’. It was a fine way to make everyone around us extremely uncomfortable, I’ll tell you that.

I’ll have to be really honest here, I had set that aside for awhile, out of respect for Naomi, as I didn’t want to rush things between us. My work also played a huge role, as I busy making sure we had a roof to sleep under. I just didn’t have the time to think about that stuff.

“You don’t have to force yourself, you know..” I said as I saw her hands squeeze hard into the blanket. A smile formed on my face, as I embraced the young woman before me, I began stroking her hair.

I felt her body shaking. Is she actually scared? a thought crossed my mind.

“I-I’m not..” she tried to deny it, but I could hear it in her tone that she was forcing it.

“Stop lying.” I had enough of it though, so I said it, my tone vacant of any emotion.

“What’s the problem? You don’t want to?” she asked, placing herself directly in my line of sight.

“You dummy, of course I want to. I’m here doing my best to restrain myself.” I really meant what I said. It required every ounce of my being to keep myself under control.

“Really?” she asked, her head tilted at an angle.

“Do you really think I’m kidding?”

A smile formed on her face, as she embraced me again, placing her head against my shoulder. Her body stopped shaking.

“Do you want to?” I asked her.

I felt her grip tightening. She looked up towards me, and nodded. Well, it’s not like I’m going stop her now, she gave her approval after all. Now if we are doing this, it’s best that we start of small, and slowly work our way through.

And so I began, I moved my face closer to hers, making sure our lips made contact. After making sure she was still onboard, I slowly removed her nightgown, her naked body exposed. I gently pushed her down, supporting her head with my hand. After placing her head on a pillow, I started kissing her again.

Lust began slowly taking hold of me. As I began playing with her tongue, I made sure I wasn’t pushing my luck, since If I went to far, I might end up dying tonight. So I began carefully stroking her stomach. I moved from her center to her side, then to her hip, and then her leg. I had taken of the last piece of fabric that remained on her, and now she was fully exposed.

Her cheeks turned red again, as she looked to her side. I figured that her being the only stripped was to much to handle, and so I began stripping down.

After I was completely bared, I continued to kiss Naomi, gently touching her entire body. After she had calmed down entirely, that was when I stopped kissing her, and stood straight. I began spreading her legs, making enough room for me. I slowly came closer to her.

“Ready?” I said, as blood began rushing through my lower body.

Naomi nodded, as she began to embrace herself for the moment of impact. I had thrusted my entire body into her cavern, as I entered her sacred place. I felt something wet escape to the outside. Naomi had a smile on her face, it shone brightly.

“I love you.” she said, as she came close to kiss me.

With all my energy now focused on my lower body, I began moving my hips again. We kept craving for each others bodies, after all.

As we both mourned the loss of our virginity, the excess feeling of pleasure that invaded our minds kept us going until early in the morning.

It was about three o’clock when exhaustion finally caught up to us. Naomi had her arm tight around my stomach as I pulled her closer, we were both gasping for air. Naomi had placed her head on my chest, as she slowly went to sleep.

But me, I was still fully awake. Even though I wanted to hit the bucket and go to sleep, somehow I couldn’t bring my mind to do that. As I looked at the brown ceiling above me, it was then that my mind thought back what happened earlier this afternoon.

I don’t remember much of it, but the goosebumps that appeared while thinking about it must mean that it was something terrifying. As I continued to stare into the dark walls of my room, it was then that something began forming in front of my bed.

My eyes focused on it, as I sat up straight. I slowly went backwards, until I couldn’t any further, my back was against the wall. When the figure had finally brought itself into existence, moonlight began brightening the dark area it was in.

My eyes went wide open, as I stared at its dark, lifeless eyes. Its horns, that were as long as excess branches, escaped from its head. Its face tilted slightly. Several parts of flesh were missing, exposing his whitened bones. The skin on its left side had rotten away, it caused my stomach to turn.

As I feared for my life, it was then that the being began moving closer. When he reached the end of my bed, he began lifting his finger at me. His finger missed some flesh as well, exposing some of its bone.

I began sweating, my heart beat was rapidly rising. I began gasping for air, my sight began darkening.

“Y-yo..u’re,” it had trouble speaking, as it spoke in several sequence. Its tone was lifeless, like an undead trying to speak.

“Next..” As he finished his sentence, it continued to stare at my very soul. I had lost track of time, as the minutes slowly turned into eternity. Goosebumps began spreading across my body, as fear continued eating away at me.

It then evaporated out of existence, scarring me for life. The air loosened, and I could finally breath again. My body relaxed, but my mind was still on edge. It was then that I remembered what happened during my little nap earlier that evening.

Even after those peaceful six years that they had left me alone, they still managed to haunt me in my mind. Angry at my own powerlessness, I began grabbing my hair, and tightening my grip. My skull began hurting, as I tore several hairs from it. I don’t know myself why I did it, but it somehow felt peaceful.

As I was too afraid to even sleep, I stayed up the rest of the night questioning whether all of the pain I felt, both physically and mentally, was even worth it to continue living for.