IX: School Rumble

“There you are…~”

I stared at the girl who entered the room in confusion. Despite her striking pink hair and blue eyes, I hadn’t recognized this girl at all. She definitely wasn’t a teacher or other staff, but she didn’t seem like a typical student either. She wore an unzipped, green camouflage jacket and a pair of pants with the same pattern. Under her jacket, she wore a black athletic top that exposed her navel and rather toned abs. A pair of brown military boots covered her feet, completing a noticeably army themed motif.

She narrowed her eyes and grinned at me with a look that spelt trouble.

“Wh—”

Before I could get anywhere near completing my thought, the girl launched over a desk in front of me, her fist igniting into a fireball as she took a swing at me.

“Whoa!” I jumped out of my seat in time to avoid her burning strike, but the haste of my movement caused me to stumble backwards unsteadily. “Are you out of your mind?!”

Without wasting a breath on my question, she kicked a desk at me with shocking strength, sending it flying towards my face. I managed to swat it away in time, revealing her presence directly behind it preparing to nail me with another flaming fist. My body bent awkwardly back to avoid her punch, only for another one to strike me in the stomach with enough force that I’m sure I’d have lost my breakfast if I had actually eaten.

Stunned and coughing, I doubled over as she grabbed a firm hold on my arm. Before I could guess what she was doing, I watched the room turn upside down. More accurately, she had used my arm to flip me to the hard floor with shocking ease.

Retaining her hold on my arm as I hit the floor, she spun with me, landing on her own back and pressing the soles of her boots against my cheek. An intense pain shot through my arm, with my elbow feeling ready to pop out of place.

“Tap out!” the girl commanded as she wrenched my arm in two violent motions.

My distressed joint telepathically echoed her exact words at me, prompting me to tap the floor vigorously as she demanded. She immediately released the hold and rolled backwards on her head and back up to her feet.

“I win!” she announced, stepping on my stomach and pumping her fist. “And you know what? I think I deserve a reward for that. This will do nicely…”

The victorious, camouflage-clad girl snatched my precious pudding cup and ripped the seal from it, effortlessly. She plunged the plastic utensil into its valuable contents and unearthed a spoonful of heaven.

“Hey, that’s mine! What do you think you’re doing?!”

She dug her boot into my stomach and shoved the spoon into her mouth. “Mmm~!”

If you wanted to kill me, I’d have welcomed it. But this torture really is quite tacky.

She wolfed down every last bit of the pudding until there was nothing left. Satisfied with herself, she deposited the spoon into the cup and dropped it on a desk with a plastic-y “clunk”.

“Refreshing!” she sighed in bliss. She removed her boot from my midsection and held out her hand to me. Reluctantly, I grabbed hold, and she yanked me upright.

Demon woman.

“That was informative!” she declared, giggling jovially as if we had just finished playing a game of tag.

“What the hell is your problem, psycho?!”

She cringed at my scolding and rubbed the back of her head. Through a nervous chuckle, she said, “just relax, okay? I was just testing you a bit!”

“…I’m going to report you.”

“No, wait!” she pleaded. “I saw you save the Princess on TV a few days ago, and then there was that amazing press conference of yours. When I found out you went to my school, I just had to come see you for myself.”

“So, you came here to beat me up and mock me. Okay. Can I go report you now?”

“Stop it! I’m not mocking you, seriously. I’m trying to tell you that you inspired me at that press conference!”

I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes. “What do you mean I ‘inspired’ you?”

“There’s all the time in the world to explain that later,” she deflected. “But for now, you need a coach for that gauntlet, right? I’m your girl!”

I stared at her for a moment, bringing her down from the proud stance she had taken after her declaration. “This gauntlet isn’t some stupid game, the King himself warned me about how tough this crap will be. Why would I choose some random, crazy schoolmate who basically sucker punched me to be my coach instead of, you know, an actual instructor?”

“Oh, right!” she said, burying her face in her palm. “I haven’t introduced myself yet, have I? I’m Evangeline Dioli, the magical combat prodigy! I’m sure you’ve heard of me~”

“…Nope.”

“What?! Here, look!” She pulled her phone from her pocket and tapped the screen hurriedly. A second later, she shoved search results for her own name into my face. Each of the links descending the screen displayed articles about her supposed unparalleled talent and something about her being the youngest recruit of the Steylian army in history.

“You were serious…”

“Duh!” she said, slipping her phone back into her pocket.

“But why would you want to help me?”

“I told you; you inspired me. That’s all there is to it.”

“Right. And what would you want in return for this?”

“Nothing.”

I wasn’t sure if I fully believed that, but given the circumstances, I wasn’t in much of a position to refuse Evangeline’s offer. I would do my own research later, but the articles she had shown me were from the top publications in the world. According to them, at least, she was a legitimate prodigy. There was no point in trying to look for a better coach with such a deficiency of time. And besides, Cynthia had told me to do something as soon as possible. Hiring a magical and combat prodigy counts as doing something, one would imagine.

“Okay, fine. I accept. You can coach me.”

“Yes!” she celebrated. “You and me are going to get along more than fine. Trust me~”

“Sure…”

“Now, then!” she said, running to the other side of the teacher’s desk. “Take a seat, please!”

“Uh, why?” I asked. For whatever reason, though, I complied.

She used her palm to scrub the whiteboard of its faded remains and began looking for something as she spoke. “Well, don’t take this the wrong way, but I looked at your grades and test scores. You’re brilliant, but your magic class scores are…” she laughed anxiously.

“Wait, how did you see my grades?!”

“Don’t worry your gorgeous, long-haired head about that. Oh, there it is!” she said, grabbing hold of a black marker. She uncapped it and began writing something on the board.

“What are you doing now? You know this is detention, right? You’re going to get in trouble.”

“With my pull? Nah,” she replied, unbothered. “I’ll get you out of this mess with no mark on your records. Besides, if you ask me, you did the right thing knocking that guy out. And with one punch, too. Nice work!”

Who the hell is this girl!?

“There!” she declared, spinning to face me. The board behind her read, ‘Magic 101’. “Strap in, it’s lesson time~”