22.ii The Heavenly River

~ Ham Song ~

“And the Luck gods look kindly on you once again, my wise, young Ham Song,” Bodhi whistled while Anari paid for all of their boarding passes.

“I am not young,” Ham Song growled.

Bodhi swung their barrel to the front of their chest and chuckled before taking a sip. “Yes, I know.”

Ham Song fixed his dark, beady eyes on Bodhi’s defenseless ankles, but before the pig could wipe the smirk off of the monk’s face, the rabbit at the register took it upon himself to do so.

“Excuse me? My good monk? You can’t bring that wine onto the ferry.”

Bodhi lowered the barrel and wiped the corners of their mouth with the back of their hand.

“If it’s a question of no open alcoholic containers on the ship, don’t worry. I’ll keep a lid on this.”

The rabbit frowned and shook his head. “I’m sorry, but that won’t be possible. Kawaii Village is a dry municipality, as is the entire Rabbit Province.”

Bodhi blinked owlishly at the clerk before unplugging their wine and feverishly gulping down the rest of the barrel’s contents.

Ham Song stared at the monk slack-jawed. There had to be at least a fourth of the original amount left in that giant container.

“Um, Bodhi…” Ritsu reached for the barrel. “Maybe you shouldn’t–”

The monk snatched their wine out of the monkey’s reach and danced away with a wild look in their eye.

“Nuh-uh! I’m not wasting a single drop of this wine. You know what I had to do to get this?”

Ham Song could feel himself ready to erupt with rage. “Yes – please, monk, tell us again how you had to sacrifice my life just so you can drink some rutting wine!”

Bodhi paused again in their guzzling to belch and say, “You heard the pig. Now don’t let his sacrifice go to waste, Sun Ritsu.”

Ham Song dug his heels in the dirt and charged.

I’m going to gut that drunk bastard for real this time!

Ham Song side-stepped Ritsu, who had, by now, seen the murderous intent in the pig’s eyes and knew what it meant. But the monkey wasn’t able to move fast enough to sweep the pig off of his feet.

Ham Song was so close to tearing into the monk that his mouth frothed with excitement. He lost track of his surroundings with one final thrust of his back legs.

The pig was airborne.

But then his view of the monk was interrupted by eight glossy black eyes and a pair of furry mandibles.

Ham Song choked on a squeal as something tightened around his neck and all four of his limbs. In seconds, he came crashing to the earth with the smooth wire-like bonds tightening even more.

Ham Song had lost sight of everything except for the ankles and feet of his companions. He writhed and grunted against his bonds, but with every shift in his movements, they only became more secure.

Anari’s steady voice sounded from overhead.

“Sun, you take Ham Song onto the ferry. I’ll board first with Bodhi.”

Ham Song glared daggers at Bodhi’s socks and sandaled feet as they shifted their weight into a more relaxed position. “Aww, Legs. You didn’t have to do that. I saw the little porker coming this time.”

“Finish your wine,” Anari ordered, her voice not allowing any room for argument.

Ham Song felt the rage leave his body as a pair of warm, strong arms lifted him off the ground. Soon, he was cradled against Ritsu’s chest and being carried away from the spider and the stinking monk.

He sighed and leaned his head against the monkey’s collarbone. Ham Song didn’t get to give the monk a piece of his mind this time, but at least he was on his way to see the Heavenly River.