24. Of Peach Soda Pop and Pilfering

Get excited, Dear Traveler. We’re finally going to experience something eventful since the days of Bodhi’s flashy rescue in the Garden of Immortal Peaches.

If you pay close attention, you might be able to develop some theories. Trust me, it will give you something interesting to think about during the less exciting gaps in the tale.

Why would someone want to actively develop theories, you wonder? Dear Traveler, I believe the better question is why wouldn’t you? Besides, haven’t you been doing so already? I’m simply encouraging more of that.

Who knows? You just might be able to get some of the theories that you already have to connect with the new ones that you’ll hopefully form going forward.

Now, let’s get back to the story.

Our spiritual cadre had a rather smooth and uneventful trip across the Heavenly River. Their ferry parked at a waterfall that overlooked the shores of the Rabbit Province…

~

~ Sun Ritsu ~

The Heavenly River poured down into the Heavenly Waterfall, which fed right into the ferry’s destination. From the top of the fall, it was easy to see a full overview of Kawaii Village. The landscape was much hillier than where Ritsu and his companions came from, but these slopes were lower and broader.

Through the blanket of green, our spirits could see pockets of complex residential areas. Even in the more central, urbanized centers, the buildings did not rise more than two stories. The roads were peppered with cyclists and wire systems that moved around yellow trolleys.

Ritsu, Anari, Bodhi and Ham Song stood at the railing as the ferry docked over the roaring falls. Each of them took in the view, breathing in some much needed fresh air.

Sun Ritsu’s miniature quarterstaff earring danced like a wind chime in the breeze, its cylindrical jade surface catching and tossing the light.

Anari’s rich leather clothing absorbed the sun rays while her round shades shielded her many sensitive eyes from overexposure. The soft set of her jaw did not indicate any strong sort of emotion. Perhaps the feeling of content was the closest one could come to deciphering the spider’s mood.

Bodhi wasn’t looking out at the wondrous view, but rather leaning against the railing with their eyes closed and groaning gently with the rocking and bobbing of the ferry.

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

Bodhi’s confession was so soft that Ham Song was the only one who caught it. The pig snorted, “Heedless monk, what did you expect? After the amount you–”

“Hhhrrkk!”

The view for the next few moments was suddenly not so pleasing to the eye. Luckily for our cadre, there were no village officials around to see how blatantly un-cute Bodhi was behaving.

And no. It does not matter if the monk couldn’t help it. Weren’t you paying attention earlier, Dear Traveler? If a spirit is caught with or doing anything that does not follow the Cutest Code of Conduct, then they will risk arrest in the worst case scenario and be issued a warning and a heavy fine at best.

Barfing illegal partially-digested wine into the Heavenly River would have definitely earned Bodhi a trip to the closest courthouse. Luck was on their side today, perhaps from being in such close proximity to the pig, who still had most of his Luck from the Peach Festival.

Still, Bodhi’s companions had good reason to fear being noticed. So Anari was kind enough to use her spidersilk in order to establish a protective perimeter. Meanwhile, Ham Song and Sun Ritsu supported Bodhi and helped them clean up after themself.

Sun Ritsu found it perplexing that Ham Song was willing to help without complaining too much about it. He supposed that their last conversation together had actually left an impact on the pig.

What was also perplexing, Ritsu mused as he carried Bodhi, was how light they felt in his arms. The monk grumbled some kind of protest when Ritsu scooped them up like a watermelon and held them securely against his chest. Ritsu simply assured Bodhi that he would put them down as soon as they could walk straight.

“F-fine,” Bodhi murmured, their eyes shut tight. Most of their face was buried in the lumpy folds of Ritsu’s hoodie.

Thankfully, the personnel at the docks thought that the way Ritsu was carrying Bodhi was very cute and did not look too closely at the green sheen coating Bodhi’s features or the way they hiccuped every now and then to suppress the urge to burp up imperial booze all over Ritsu’s chest.

Since the ferry parked at the top of the waterfall, its passengers had to descend along the face of the forested cliff and cross a series of bridges before officially stepping foot onto the Rabbit Province. The spray from the waterfall created a constant shower over most of the descent, so passengers were granted complimentary ponchos to help keep them dry.

Of course, the ponchos came in various adorable designs. Usually, Bodhi wouldn’t be caught dead in something with a triceratops hood, but today they were grateful for the cover.

Anari’s poncho came in the form of a purple personified mushroom cap. And let me tell you, Dear Traveler, that brainless monkey god of ours thought she looked damn cute in it. He even tried to tell her such as they trailed behind the rest of the passengers.

“They gave you a really good one, Anari.” Ritsu said to her, nearly missing a step on his way down. One of Anari’s unglamoured limbs reached out to steady him.

“Careful,” she said, “you’ve got Bodhi in your arms, remember.”

Sun Ritsu, who was wearing a personified cloud poncho, blushed slightly.

“Right.”

Anari retracted her arm and reached out with her more human one to rub the center of Ritsu’s back.

“Do you want me to take them for a while?” The spider asked with an understanding smile.

Ritsu tried to focus on putting one foot in front of the other and not jostling Bodhi around too much. He shook his head. “No, it’s okay. They’re not heavy and besides, I think if I move them around too much, they might… um.”

“Explode?” Ham Song grunted from just up ahead.

Now the pig, Dear Traveler, was not wearing any sort of protection against the waterfall mist and the occasional heavenly shower. The ferry personnel couldn’t find one to suit his primitive anatomy and didn’t want to risk him tripping over the skirts of one, so they donned his tusk in attractive beads and dangling charms instead.

When Ham Song asked how that was going to keep him from getting wet, the two lop-eared rabbit spirits reassured him that the adornments absolutely would not help at all, but that wouldn’t matter because they increased his cuteness by a whole factor of ten.

This was the only time Bodhi had lifted their head from Ritsu’s chest to say, “Look at this way, pig. Now you actually look like a Lucky charm.”

And then Anari, to everyone’s surprise, had agreed. “The charms do look cute on you, Ham Song.”

Ritsu’s heart grew light at the sight of his three new friends somewhat getting along. His mind began to wander off in many directions as he considered the possibilities in this leg of their journey. As the details of Kawaii Village came more into focus, so did all of the ways Ritsu could potentially spend more time with his companions.

The spirits drew near the bottom of the waterfall, where the cluster of signs and advertisements grew ever thicker.

Buy a Corgi Glamour Today! First Installment Comes with 0% Interest Rate!

Don’t End Up in Hell! Come to Bon Bon’s For All Your Favorite Pastels!

Tourists! Get Yourself a Cute Consultant ASAP! They Won’t Let You Down, Drown, Or Get Lost Uptown!

Ritsu noticed that there was an overwhelming amount of advertisements for the latter. So he asked, “Anari? What’s a cute consultant?”

The spider’s glamour flickered. Groaning a little, she replied, “Damn, I forgot about those. They’re highly recommended for new parties of up to three or more. And after the close call we had on the ferry, I’d say that we’re going to need one.”

Ritsu arched his eyebrow at the pictures of Corgi spirits in what appeared to be nautical-inspired school uniforms. In all the shots they were deliberately waving and winking.

“But what do these consultants actually do?”

Anari sighed. “They keep tourists from getting arrested, to put it simply. Although if you asked a cute consultant, they would never admit that. Generally, they are fairly nice and accommodating. Not as annoying as you’d think. The consultants are, however, very expensive.”

“Sounds like a racket,” Ham Song grumbled. “Especially considering the obvious when it comes to dog spirits!”

Ritsu looked down at the pig. “The obvious?”

Anari explained, “They’re slippery, Sun. Dogs interact with Luck strangely. When they’re around, spirits tend to drop more of their Luck than they would otherwise.”

Ham Song added, “The effect eventually wears off the more time you spend around the same dog. I suppose their essence gets used to you or something like that. But in a village full of them? With everything being so rutting expensive and spirits practically being forced to engage in goods and services under the threat of violating crime laws? Surely you can see the sneakiness going on here.”

While Ritsu was still processing things, Anari said in a low voice, “Ham Song is right. The monopoly on tourism in this province is wrapped up pretty tight in the legal justice system. And none of it is by accident.”

Ritsu shook his head. “But… why? Why is it like that?”

Ham Song reached the very bottom of the natural staircase first. He looked back at his sun clone companion, his gummy bear-shaped charms glistening in the heavenly shower.

“Why else, beloved monkey king?” The pig gave his coat a good shake. “Greed. That’s all it is.”

If I’m to be honest with you, Dear Traveler, Sun Ritsu found this to be quite unsettling. The word greed itself put a bad taste in his mouth. For as long as he had been in the Ninth Heaven, it always had. In fact, back when our monkey king was just a server in the noodle house, he suppressed every suspicion that his employer was taking a cut of his earnings. Though part of him had always suspected this, it wasn’t until the spider Anari gave it to him straight that he finally opened his eyes to the reality of his situation.

Sun Ritsu had always feared that he would see how deep the greed in the spirit world went if he ever stepped outside of the Horse Province. And now he was here. With friends, to his relief, but still… he could not ignore certain realities any longer.

The sun clone’s mouth went sour again when he lifted his golden brown eyes and noticed something rather awful oozing out from under one of the bridges that arched over the waterfall basin and into the cutest territories of the Ninth Heaven.