II: An Unlikely Morning

The sun brightly shined through the half-opened curtains into Kris' flat. Half naked with only a loose shirt as clothing, she still looked exhausted. More so, confused by waking up at all. She didn't expect to wake up. In fact, she thought she would have died. Then she fully remembered the events of last night (or rather, this morning) and groaned loudly.

She quickly stopped after hearing another person's reaction to her groan.

It was the girl she had met the other day, sleeping on her bed with her.

Kris didn't expect to see her, or in her bed alongside her. Naturally, she panicked and fell off the bed. The loud noise woke up Steph. She was still dressed in her brand-new suit, but the bags under her eyes were the only noticeable change. They had lessened with a good night of rest.

She half stood up on the bed, rubbing her eyes to fight off the sleepiness.

"You don't have to be so loud so early in the morning," yawned Steph.

Kris would usually agree with her, as she hated loud noises, but this was a unique situation they found themselves in.

Kris noticed the suit, and asked, "Why are you still wearing that? Wasn't it uncomfortable for you?"

"Not really, no," Steph replied in a monotone voice.

"I feel like you're lying, but alright then," Kris mumbled.

Kris stood up and glanced around at her flat. Despite her financial problems, she never decided to sell a single thing in her flat. Mostly because there was nothing worth selling. All there was around her flat were the bare necessities for someone to live. Silverware, a bed, clothes all over the ground and unwashed dishes didn't exactly leave anything for someone to desire. It's not as if Kris disliked her flat, but she knew in the eyes of others, it was in desperate need of a cleaning.

Kris waited for Steph to comment on her flat when she started to glare around. Oddly enough, she didn't seem to mind it. Instead, she finally got out of bed to stretch.

Kris could hear the bones crack loudly, like a pencil breaking apart. Either she never stretched before, or that suit was really uncomfortable.

"Sooooo, can I borrow some clothes?" She asked sweetly.

Kris simply nodded in response. She grabbed a random shirt and tiny shorts and handed them over to Steph.

She held them up in the air. "I think these are too big for me."

"It doesn't matter for now. You can always go back home, and find your clothes."

Steph nervously giggled. "Funny thing about that is, I don't have a home." Kris looked at Steph with pure confusion. "What do you mean? Did you sell your house or flat or whatever when you decided to die?"

Steph shook her head.

"No, I've never had a home, to begin with. I've been staying at friend's and lover's houses for a while now."

"So, where did you keep your stuff?"

"Never had any. This suit is the only thing I've ever bought clothing-wise."

Kris became more confused about this situation but decided to not think too much about it yet. Besides, only one thing mattered to her at the moment, if Steph was suggesting she was going to stay here.

"Do you have a job?"

"Used to."

"Do you have money?"

"Yeah, not that much."

"How much?"

"70 quid on hand, but about 1,000 or so in the bank."

"Please pay my rent."

Because of this woman, Kris was still alive and the deadline for rent was fast approaching. She may not be able to try suicide again and would have to create a new plan later on without the owner knowing. Until she could, she would have to find a new job and fast. However, at this very moment, she would have to give up her pride and beg for money.

For a moment, Steph looked surprised, but for another moment, she started to grin. "Sure, if you do me one favour." She moved closer to Kris, who started to move backwards. Steph noticed and only moved her head slightly toward Kris' ear.

She whispered slowly, "Let me die, and I'll do whatever you want me to do."

It was Kris' turn to look surprised.

That look of shock was met with Steph's look of desperation. While Kris wanted to die, she had never seen someone so hell bend on it. She had never seen someone that would only accept death as an answer. Compared to Kris' reasons, they were pathetic and childish, even if she didn't know Steph's reason as of now.

But, Kris, knowing it was rude to do so, had to ask, "Why do you want to die?"

Steph looked at her and sighed. She did not hide how exhausted she felt at the question.

"Let's sit down."

Kris silently agreed.

They now both sat on the bed. The table was far too messy for anyone to manage. Steph looked absent-minded until she realised Kris' stare. She sighed once again. "I want to die because I feel nothing worth doing."

"Nothing worth doing?"

Steph flopped on the back, looking physically exhausted. It had only been a few minutes, and she already seemed tired enough to sleep.

"The reason I never bought a place to live or clothes or anything really was that I felt no reason to. The world feels so dull. It's always felt like that since I was little. I mean-" She stood herself up. "Think of all the things you could do in this world. Are they really worth doing? Are they really worth our precious time? At some point, I just started to notice the mundaneness of every activity and thing on this planet. I thought to myself, 'Why bother to live if there's nothing that I want to do.'"

Kris decided to chime in. "Sure, there are lots of things that are boring and superficial, but they're things that are worth doing."

"Yet, you want to die as well?"

Kris was annoyed to hear that. "It's not like I didn't do those things before deciding that."

"But then, won't you want to continue living?" Steph gave her a curious face on her face. It seemed to her that she didn't understand her logic.

"My reasons...are different from yours."

"Go on."

Kris didn't feel up to answering, but it didn't seem fair to not explain herself as well. Not only did she stop someone from committing an act she was going to do herself but forced Steph to explain herself. It didn't just seem unfair, but downright rude to not answer.

"I've done everything I've wanted to do. There's else left for me to achieve. I don't really have grand dreams or such. I just wanted small things, and I already did it all. Now, I'm only a bother to this world. It makes no sense to me when people want to keep living after they already have everything they could want. What would be the problem with ending it all now? I'm in my happiest state, so I'll die in my happiest state."

Kris was afraid she went on for a bit too long, but Steph seemed to have listened to every word she spoke.

"I guess we both have it rough." Steph laid down again, staring off into space. 'She really likes to do that, huh?' Kris thought.

Slowly, a thought began to cross her mind as her eyes wandered around like a clueless child all over Steph's face and body. Oddly enough, she felt some sort of longing for StephShe felt disgusted by it.

Kris then whispered, "What if I show you the pleasures of life?"

Kris said so quietly, that she hoped Steph didn't hear it, but she did. She looked at her bizarrely as if Kris said the craziest thing in the world. Slowly, though, her expression changed into something softer. "I don't think you understand the weight of those words."

Before Kris could respond, Steph jumped over and held her down.

Steph stared down at Kris' face with an exotic rage. Kris couldn't tell if it was an act or not, but she started to become hypersensitized to the situation. She felt their hot breaths coming in and out, almost in sync. She couldn't help but stare over the suit inside to notice Steph's chest. She didn't have a bra, and could visibly see the shape of her breasts. Kris looked away, blushing.

Not the cute kind of blushing, but a disgusting kind.

Steph grinned evilly as she pulled her head down closer to Kris. Kris began to feel the soft, but rough flesh that was Steph's hands holding her arms down. That sense of force and grip pained Kris. She looked back up at Steph's eyes and could see an evil expression on her.

She remembers that type of expression.
She remembers when she first saw it.

Once, she felt Steph's hands move further down her body, and she couldn't take it any more. She pushed Steph off so hard that she fell off the bed completely. Her head started to bleed, but Steph didn't show any signs of pain on her end.

Kris, however, jumped off and went straight to the corner of the flat, and started to breathe quickly, almost hyperventilating. She started to think of him. That man. It all started to rush to her quickly. His laughs, his smiles, his charm, all of it. And then, that call. The call where it all started, and just the thought of it started to make Kris tear up.

She felt pathetic. Crying just over being touched, but Kris tricked herself into believing it couldn't be helped. She tricked herself into thinking that this pain will end soon enough once she was gone from this world. Somehow, it comforted her and scared her.

Steph walked slowly towards Kris. She moved back a few centimetres to show she wasn't attempting that again.

"I'm sorry. I just, those words hold a lot of meaning to me. To hear someone else say it, really bothers me. But that isn't a valid excuse. I'm really sorry."

Kris could tell from her sombre expression that Steph meant it.

"'Tis fine, I-I shouldn't have said something like that s-so causally." Kris tried with all her might to push those words out.

Steph nodded like she understood what Kris meant.

"Could I ask you a question now?"

"I-I suppose so," Kris, still sobbing.

"Why do you not like being touched by another person?"

Kris silently debated whether to answer that. She didn't want to think of that man again, but it was unfair of her to act like this without giving an explanation. To end up a mess without any way of cleaning it up.

"It's because I feel that I only should let myself touch me. I think we forget what it truly means to have someone touch us. Some people think it is just an expression of friendliness, but I see it as something more. I see it as a sign you're opening yourself up to that person by letting them grasp you. Hold you tight. But I came to realise no one would want my touch, nor would I feel comfortable doing so."

It was as if the whole room lost air after that answer was spoken.

'She must think I'm crazy, huh,' Kris thought. Though, Kris had somehow forgotten the sobbing mess she placed herself in.

"I get that." Steph finally reposed after what felt like hours.

Kris couldn't tell if she was lying or not.

"Though, at this point, I feel like just staying with you. I don't really have anywhere else to go."

Kris slowly started to regain herself. "But what about your friends?"

Steph laughed hollowly. "When I decided to die, I cut all those ties by doing some pretty nasty stuff. At this point, they would rather die themselves than become friends with me again."

Even if she laughed, Kris noticed that sadness within her.

That tiny little bit of sorrow within her.
That tiny little bit of regret within her.

"I see then."

The room grew quiet once again until Kris broke that silence.

"Would you want to stay with me?"

The question received a look of shock from Steph.

And then suddenly.

Suddenly, her face shifted into a look of contentment. Kris saw a tiny smile on her face.

"Would you really have me? You can't take it back, by the way. It's now a contract between the two of us." She had a happy and silly grin on her face. The first Kris saw on this woman's face.

Kris couldn't help but grin back. Something about this woman made her act in ways she never thought she would do again. "It would be my pleasure."

They both chuckled slightly at that line.

"Could I...could I give you a hug? I know you just told me you don't like being touched and all, but I just feel like I should do something to make up for what I did. Though, it's completely fine if you don't want to!" Steph quickly added.

Kris could have said no. She was given a choice to deny it. But, something about it, made her so happy inside. She didn't show it outwardly, but to hear someone offer it, made her giddy. An entire sensation shot up throughout her whole body.

"That...would be fine. Y-You can give me your touch in exchange for mine."

"What an odd way of saying you would be fine with a hug."

Steph, hesitant at first, came in close and hugged Kris's body. It was more of hugging Kris in the fetal position. It was awkward for Steph to do it, but she put up with it.

Kris, however, felt something.
Kris, however, didn't know how to explain it.

The fabric of the suit was mostly touching her, with only Steph's hands truly hugging her. Kris' entire body focused on that feeling. The feeling of soft, warm hands piercing her cold, sad body.

Comforting was putting it simply.
It was blissful.

Kris was in awe. She didn't know what to think or do, but, whether she spoke it out loud, these words would fill some area, inside or out.

"Thank you."

The thoughts of death and pain, for a moment, faded away from the two women's mind into the bright morning sun.