27.ii Of Peach Soda Pop and Pilfering

~ Bodhi ~

Bodhi was still in the middle of coughing up glitter and stars when they realized who had assaulted them. A lithe-bodied spirit stood a few feet away in the nearest alley, twirling a star-tipped wand between her sparkling nails.

“As I thought,” the spirit hummed, “you two are even broker than you look. What a shame.”

Like Baobei, she was dressed in the nautical school uniform. However, she was anything but a dog spirit. Bodhi didn’t fail to notice how high this spirit’s pleated skirt rode up her thighs compared to Baobei’s modest hemline. In addition, the thief’s glamour was fully intact, whatever feral essence she possessed hidden behind her slightly tan skin, big galaxy violet eyes and a powder pink bob.

“Who the–” Bodhi hiccuped another handful of glitter, “who the hell are you?”

Before the mysterious spirit could respond, Ham Song retched loudly. His eyes bulged forth as several glistening peaches rolled onto the sidewalk one after the other.

“Put a lid on it, Ham Song!” Bodhi shouted. “Now is not a good time!”

The other spirit stepped forward. “Actually, your timing is perfect. The location, however…” She whipped her head from left to right, checking the street for pedestrians or onlookers. “Come with me. Into my paper space. Hurry up and bring the peaches.”

Bodhi was already trying to scoop up a still-retching Ham Song. “Think we’d go anywhere with you after you just tried to rob us!”

The pink-haired spirit rolled her eyes. “Rob you? Please. That’s gross. Baobei sent me.”

By now Bodhi had their arms full of Ham Song and immortal peaches. They let the thief drag them into the alley and towards a floating star-shaped paper space.

“Y-you’re the sun clone that I requested?”

The realization made Bodhi notice how the spirit’s pink tassels curled around her cheekbones much like Sun Ritsu’s defining sideburns. She also had slightly tapered ears and simian-shaped canines whenever she smiled.

“Sun Surina,” the spirit said with a wink. “The locals call me Sailor Sun.”

After the three of them had gone inside the space, they easily made themselves comfortable in Surina’s personal studio.

Surina was already washing the sweet immortal peaches in her pink kitchenette when Bodhi said, “Miss Sun?”

The sun clone looked over her shoulder. “Hm?”

The monk tucked one leg under them and propped their other knee to rest their arm across. “Why did you deny that you didn’t try to rob us when in fact, you did?”

The monkey chuckled. “Pilfering, my sweet monk, is not the same as robbing.” She turned back to her task. “Besides, robbery and burglary, especially that of the armed sort, is illegal in the Rabbit Province.”

Bodhi and Ham Song narrowed their eyes at each other. As if reading the monk’s mind, Ham Song snorted, “Oh, but pilfering isn’t?”

Surina, who had moved on to drying off the peaches, turned around and said brightly, “Actually, you are correct. Certain families of thievery including pilfering and pick-pocketing are permitted with the assumption that they are done in broad daylight, with an appetizing flourish, and in aesthetically appealing attire.”

She twirled once to emphasize her meaning. Bodhi’s gray eyes closely tracked the flaring of Surina’s skirt, committing her starry patterned briefs to memory.

“What are you then,” Bodhi said, licking their lips, “the resident tourism thief?”

Surina tucked a pink tassel behind her ear. “Mmm. Something like that. I fill a niche that the local residents have never explored. I give tourists a show and take a small souvenir as payment for my time. They leave with a once in a lifetime experience from Sailor Sun, the village thief. And I leave with some rent money. It’s a win for both parties involved.”

Ham Song suddenly interrupted the conversation with an impatient squeal. “I don’t know why the monk is taking so long to ask you this, but we need to know where we can find something hard to drink around here. I know the information must be sensitive, so you can have some of those sweet immortal peaches as payment.”

The sun clone blinked owlishly at her guests. “Where to find a drink? Friends, you’re in the Rabbit Province, so the answer to that would be… absolutely nowhere.”

Surina selected a single peach for herself and carried the rest over in a recycled grocery bag. She sat down, pushing the bag in Ham Song and Bodhi’s direction.

Bodhi dipped their chin. “That’s all you want? One peach?” They waved at the bag bursting with holy fruit. “Take more. Surely they could come in handy for your act.”

Surina tied the handles of the bag into a clean knot. “They most certainly do, but I’m not going to take more payment than I deserve. Even if it wasn’t against the Cutest Code of Conduct, I don’t cheat tourists. A fair trade is a fair trade. I told you the truth and collected one peach.”

Bodhi’s desperation finally cut through their cool facade. “Then tell us another.” They abruptly tore into the plastic bag and ripped out a faintly glowing peach. “You’re a Sun, so you must know. Is there a way to make some hooch out of one of these? I don’t care if it’s powerful enough to send humanae to the Lake of Ninefold darkness. I’ll take anything at this point!”

Sun Surina reached out with her star-tipped scepter and gently lowered Bodhi’s arm. “You’re talking about rendering a holy peach into sweet immortal wine, my dear monk. Some say it’s possible, others say it’s a myth.” She sighed gently and stroked the edge of Bodhi’s jaw with her wand. “You’re better off getting a caffeine buzz while you’re here. That’s the only thing that might temper your cravings.”

Bodhi brushed the wand to the side. “Don’t insult me, Sailor Sun. I don’t feel jack shit after drinking a soda.”

Surina took one of the peaches from the split bag and began to balance it on the flat end of her wand. Curiously, she asked, “Have you ever put a sweet immortal peach through a vending machine before? It transforms it into a can of peach soda pop.”

Bodhi shrugged. “So?”

“So,” Surina smiled wide enough to reveal her simian canines, “one peach yields about 2.5 sodas. Not to mention the effects of the immortal juice triples the time a Sun can spend in Peach Mode. And–”

She suddenly wielded her wand like a bat and whacked the peach in Bodhi’s direction. The monk’s reflexes were too sharp and they caught the projectile before it could bounce between their eyes.

“And?” Bodhi arched their brow.

Surina lowered her wand. “And a can of peach soda pop isn’t the same as immortal wine, but it’s strong enough to give a humanae like yourself a very noticeable buzz. Drink enough and your head just might throb from what I would describe as a very bad caffeine high.”

Given that there was nothing strong to drink for miles around, that sounded like a dream come true to Bodhi. They grinned and tossed the peach back at Surina. “Now, that little morsel of truth is worth two peaches, Sun. Fair is fair.”

Ham Song tipped his head back and loudy groaned. “Thank the Sage we came to some kind of conclusion on this.” The pig rose to his cloven feet and waved his tusk at Bodhi. “Now let’s go get this damn peach soda so we can quiet your aching belly. Maybe we can even give some to Sun Ritsu to bring out his Immortal State. At this point, I think it’s the only chance he has of finding that staff.”

~

Well, Dear Traveler? Aren’t you proud of the pig and the monk for finally putting aside their differences to work together and…

Sweet immortal peaches. Of course all you want to know about is how wine is made from holy peaches. Can’t you tell that it’s a damn secret!

I’m not telling you! No hints either! I’ve done enough spoon feeding as it is. This is where you start using your brain to theorize.

So, go on then.

See if you can solve the riddle to the sweet immortal wine only suited for a monkey god’s tongue!