Chapter 4

After finding out the golden space suit person’s gender, it felt like a giant sprocket slipped off inside my brain causing the rest of the gears to fall and stop me from processing any information. Basically, I was in a daze due to the shock of this revelation.

When we arrived at our destination, the planet where the Kuhe-something lived, I wasn’t thinking when I just followed him and his crew out of their spaceship. When we spotted our target on the ground, I was told to start filming with my smartphone, I thoughtlessly started up my camera app to do what I was told. Then, I simply walked up to the creature while still on auto-pilot.

I wasn’t sure if the others tried to stop me or at least snap me out of my daze. Maybe they did, but even a vine wrapping around my waist and pulling me up in the air horizontally wasn’t enough to do it so I wouldn’t be surprised if they simply failed. It was the foul odor that wafted from the creature’s mouth that woke me up from my dream-like state and I would immediately become more aware of my situation.

Luckily, I was rescued by a laser beam cutting the vine-like appendage that’s holding me. The golden space suit man then caught my fall and the two of us booked it towards the forest and we jumped over a cliff.

That was the last of my memories when I woke up. When I opened my eyes, the first thing that greeted me was a bright luminescent ceiling. I was lying in bed in a bright white room.

“Oh, you’re awake”, I hear a female voice say.

I looked at the direction it came from and I saw the pillbug lady.

“What happened? Where am I?” I asked as I sat up. “The last thing I remember was we were being chased by the Kuhe-something.”

“And you jumped off a cliff to escape.”

“That I remember.”

“We have just collected you and the captain from the shore and now we’re back on the ship”, she finally answered my question.

“I see…”

“You were lucky. There were large and pointy rocks below the cliff you jumped from.”

“Is that so? So we safely dived into the water?”

“No, you bashed your head onto one of the giant rocks and the contents of your head spilled all over. That was really lucky”, she commented giddily.

“Wait, how is that lucky?!” I retorted.

“Well, the most important part of the human male is the organ between the legs, correct? I wasn’t sure if you could be revived if that was destroyed instead.”

“That’s not right!”

“What isn’t?” she asked, turning her head sideways, confused. Not in a human-like way where the head slightly turns around the neck. Since she was a pillbug, her face was attached to the armor-like shell, so she more or less leaned sideways.

“The human’s head is a vital part! We die immediately if it’s destroyed!”

“Is that so?” she said somewhat doubtfully. She then tapped on the air and a small holographic screen appeared in front of her. “But, nothing was said about that from the latest research.”

“Whatever research that is, it is wrong!”

“Well, you’ve successfully revived anyway so it doesn’t matter.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to her dismissive comment so the topic ended there.

Breaking the awkwardness of being blown off, a door slid open and the golden space suit person entered.

He turned to me and declared, “We are… resuming… filming.”

I laid back down and turned to my side facing away from the two.

“I’m still injured”, I said.

I didn’t want to go back out there. The experience of being chased by a predator was traumatizing enough.

“That’s impossible”, I could hear the lady pillbug say. “You should already be completely healed.”

“Perhaps… this is about… motivation”, the golden space suit person said as I could hear his footsteps approach the bed.

Once the footsteps stopped, I started hearing some rustling. I still had my back facing them so I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I eventually caved in to my curiosity to find Goldy already halfway through stripping his undershirt.

“Wait wait wait wait!” I pleaded to him as I jumped out of the bed. “I get it! I’ll go back out! Put your shirt back on already!”

“I… do not mind… you touching”, he said.

“Let’s just… get back out there”, I replied.

So, we did. I reluctantly followed Goldy, the lion lady and the lanky tank top man back out of the ship. I may be traumatized about almost becoming prey, but the fear of Goldy shoving his breasts on my face was greater, so I quietly obeyed them.

As we moved away from the ship, the lanky tank top man said to me telepathically, You’re lucky you weren’t eaten.

“Huh”, I reacted disinterestedly.

I’ve heard enough of being lucky from the pillbug lady.

The Qhestralsquksqhadhaetses are quick to digest their food, the lanky man continued. If Streillaeth hadn’t shot its arm off, you would have quickly melted from the acids in its stomach before the captain could reach you and it would have been impossible to revive you without even a single piece of hair of yours.

That was a scary thought, being eaten alive. Although, it was easy to push out as I had questions born from the conversation.

“Who’s Streillaeth and who’s the captain?”

Streillaeth is the one you mistook as male, he replied.

So, that was the lion lady’s name, who was walking a few paces in front of me and the lanky man.

The captain is the one you refer to as ‘Goldy’.

“Huh”, I said.

This time, I found that fact mildly interesting. Although, I couldn’t confirm if that was true as Goldy was further up front, taking point.

While we’re at it, my name is Altiszellmolzkidolvodgreltingturianguttalornenqrasruhodsiqumakoo.

His name was as long as his limbs, I thought.

“Nice to meet you”, I replied to be polite.

But, before I could give my name, Goldy signaled for us to stop.

We have found another specimen of the Kuhe-something.

“Roll… the camera”, the golden space suit person said to me.