Chapter 17: Dressing Down

His assumption about the length of the discussion was spot on.

Kylee kept Happy Hour sitting on the diagnostic bench as she peppered his Android with questions. They ranged from attack range to grip strength to favorite color. Happy Hour answered every question with a smile.

For any she couldn’t answer, Kylee guesstimated or used data she found online. It wasn’t the most reliable method. Still, she made it work.

From what he overheard, Jester realized how impressive Happy Hour was. He knew he wasn’t the most knowledgeable about robots.

However, even he understood how complicated this all was.

It made him wonder what the game would have been like if the stigma around Androids wasn’t a factor. Because, as impressive as others were. The Android community showed what it looked like to push the game forward.

At least DollmakerMC had.

Would there be more robots that talked? That could interface with the game in different ways?

The image of Rippertooth calling Lexington a moron made him laugh. He imagined the dog with a goofy voice, cartoonish and dull witted. A perfect compliment to the snide and arrogant British one.

His mirth caught Happy Hour’s attention, making her look away from Kylee’s work. When she met his eyes, her red ones were sparkling with excitement as she waved to him.

“Enjoying yourself, Jester?”

“I am.”

He found it strange to acknowledge that. A part of him didn’t think he’d ever get to do this again. To spend time in the warehouse while Kylee worked on a project. Jester watched as she shifted around a series of metal pipes.

Some were short, others curved, and glowing gems covered one or two.

Each of them were being mixed and matched with a variety of ores. Kylee would shape those into different spear tips. Some that may or may not have an effect from what Jester overheard in her mumbling.

Jester was rooting for her idea of one that shot a sticky paste substance. One powerful enough that it could trap an enemy in place. Both for the fact it would be on theme, and it would grant Happy Hour a chance to move about.

A stopped enemy was her best opponent.

Any fight where she could leverage her maneuverability. That would allow her to show off without it being a risk.

He was about to voice this thought when Happy Hour interrupted him. She toyed with the hem of her collar as she spoke.

“Do you think Madame Merriam is already working on the outfit for the event?”

“Without a doubt.” Jester was sure as he could be. Even without spending a long time with the woman in question, her dedication was obvious. “She doesn’t strike me as the type to leave things to the last minute.”

Happy Hour smoothed her skies as she shifted on the bench. “I hope it’s as nice as this one.”

“That one is your favourite, isn’t it?”

“Of course!” She looked at him with her smile on full display. “It matches well with your suit.”

Jester wasn’t sure what to say to that. To his relief, Happy Hour continued the conversation without needing his input.

“A question if I may, Jester. What do we do if something goes wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

She looked away from him then. Her confident posture fading just a touch. “What if she can’t get it done in time? Or we get put up against an opponent I can’t beat?”

“Hey look at me.” Jester tried to give her a reassuring smile. “She’ll get it done. If you want to, we can go today to see her. I’m sure she has ideas already. Plus, the sooner we go, the better, right?”

“Right.” Happy Hour nodded.

“As for if we go up against an opponent that’s too powerful?” His shrug was as casual as he could make it. “Then we lose.”

“But I don’t want to lose!”

Her words came with such force that he took a step back.

“Happy Hour?”

“I don’t want to lose, Jester. Not on this stage.”

“And you won’t if I have anything to do about it,” Kylee broke in. “Tiffany and I talked the night of the party. Too many people have invested in you now.”

“Damn straight.” Jester gave Happy Hour his most reassuring smile. “We’ll be fine. If we don’t, it’s not like we only get one shot at this.”

Before Happy Hour could say anything else, he turned towards Kylee.

“Now, speaking of doing something about it. How can I help?”

“You looking for a fetch quest?” Her eyebrow quirked as a smirk graced her lips. “Going NPC on me?”

“You didn’t have any issues with making your errand boy before.” He did his best to inject a fair mix of humor and venom in his voice.

While he understood, somewhat, her previous rage, it didn’t mean he enjoyed her ultimatums. He could still remember the chase getting to Drosselmyers’ Tuppence. Even if that incident brought Happy Hour and himself closer.

From the way she glanced away, it seemed he’d gotten his point across. Not that she looked put out about it. Though that brought up a question he felt he needed to ask.

“Speaking of being your errand boy. Am I still bound by your previous demands?” He didn’t sugarcoat his words.

“No.” She shook her head. “Look Jester, I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry. I get it. Sorta. I just needed to know if you were going to be another person using me to advertise.”

She gave a weak chuckle at that, one that he joined in on.

“Now,” he started. “How can I help?”

As he spoke, he pulled himself up from his seat of boxes. From the corner of his eye, he watched as Happy Hour followed suit. She smoothed her skirt with one hand as the other rested on the diagnostic bench.

The mechanic looked between them with a small shake of her head.

As she spoke, she gestured towards the poles and ores. A few of which he noticed didn’t have pairs. “The actual process of making the weapon will be simple enough. However, what I don’t have is the materials I need. Nor the buffs active.”

That caught Jester by surprise.

“You’re going all out on this one?”

“Well, my middle grade work did well, but not great.” Kylee pointed towards the shoes Happy Hour wore with a nod. “So I figured, why not up the game? Plus, if people find out, I’m associated. It would taint my brand to let you show up with poor quality gear.”

“Thank you.” Jester meant it. With proper weapons and armor, they would dominate against the put together competition.

In some ways, it felt a little mean. Most of the people entering would use whatever they could find. However, he wouldn’t turn down an advantage on moral grounds.

“Yeah, so I’m going to need you to go fetch what I need. Think you can make a run over to Weapons+5 for me? Grab some Alchemist Gold and Dragon Copper? About five each should be good. I want to do some testing.”

“I thought you said your demands were off.”

That got a laugh from here.

“It is. But as annoying as the man is, he has some great contacts among the NPC stores. Contacts that allow him to get some stuff I can’t find.”

Jester stayed quiet as she talked, but he agreed with her previous statement. He still remembered the exploding gun. A fact he would be sure to bring up with the smarmy man.

“Will he trade it, though?”

“Should. Tell him I’ll give him a discount the next time he needs me for a shared project.”

“Are you sure?” Jester looked at her. “You told me earlier the company is taking a bigger cut.”

“They are. But when aren’t they trying that? It’s one project Jester, I’ll be fine.” She waved him off. “Now shoo. I have set up to complete.”

“Do you want anything else why I’m out?” He asked, as he turned away.

Kylee shook her head even as she fell back into her work. For a moment, he stood as he watched her gather her tools. Most look like things he’d seen in fantasy blacksmith shops. Tongs that glowed and hammers that sparkled with enchantments.

While the tools weren’t the biggest part of the game, RotorRager made sure everyone could access something interesting. One of the bigger draws aside from combat was the crafting, after all.

Happy Hour gave a small cough, breaking him out of his staring.

“Jester, we should be going.”

“Oh, right.”

With a shake of his head, he turned towards the warehouse door.

Behind him, he could hear movements of heavy machinery as Lugathin beeped goodbye.

***

Jester stared into the window of Weapons+5 and saw chaos.

People filled the inside of the store, as they crammed together with no regard for personal space. All of them carrying items that ranged from laser guns to bronze swords that glowed with magical lights. None of what they carried was from the new update, but all were valuable.

JamesG stood at the counter, a scowl on his face. His lime green suit covered by a stained and dirty blacksmiths’ apron. There was no sign of his ponytail. Instead, his normally long hair now hung shoulder-length and free.

It was almost professional, an odd look for the slimy man.

Even from outside, Jester could hear the store’s proprietor yelling. Most of it was personal insults or profanities. Though, on rare occasion, prices for sales and purchases. Not that they were not dripping with the first two as well.

What little order existed inside the store vanished whenever someone tried to leave. As people jostled about, a few trying to cut the line while balancing bulky or slippery items in their arms.

A player shoving him to the side forced him from his spot by the window.

Their elbow caught him in the ribs as they strode towards the door. When he saw they were carrying an oversized viking helmet in their arms, he almost let it go. Distracted by the blue runes that glowed along the metallic horns.

However, that didn’t last long, as the man called over his shoulder.

“Watch it Dollfucker. Go shop in The Outskirts!”

Jester shook his head as he rubbed the spot on his ribs. It tingled and made him want to scratch. To his relief, his suit was still fine. He could see Happy Hour glaring at the player’s back.

“So rude. There was plenty of space!”

“There was,” Jester agreed. “Still, it’s not like it hurt. Come on, let’s get inside.”

As he opened the door for Happy Hour, he saw glares from the surrounding crowd of passersby. Most of them glared, eyes sending hatred towards him as effectively as any words. One, however, gave him a smile. A mousey looking woman with brown hair who wore a pristine grey jumpsuit.

A tingle at the back of his brain made him think he’d seen her before, but he couldn’t place her. Maybe at the dollhouse? It didn’t matter.

With that, he moved inside, trying to resist the urge to shudder.

He knew as he saw the press of bodies that if it wasn’t for the web infrastructure used by RagerSystems, that this place would be a cesspool of lag. Even as it was, with the amount of people inside, he was sure he saw some graphical clipping.

Though it was possible that woman’s sleeve had some kind of ghost feature. That would explain how it was moving through the shelving unit next to her. As he shifted forward the best he could, he kept a hand intertwined with Happy Hour’s.

It was loud, hot, and cramped. People were getting restless, and he wouldn’t put it past someone to shove her back outside. She was already getting glares, though a look over his shoulder showed she was matching their expression.

One man, tall and with a stupid-looking goatee, opened his mouth. From the look on his face, Jester could tell it wouldn’t be anything good. So, instead, he spoke first to cut the man off.

“Is this the back of the line?” He kept his words quick and polite. An attempt to downplay any issues.

It seemed to succeed as the awkward expression fell over the man’s face. One that spoke of anger being restrained by societal politeness.

“I. Yes.” The man’s voice was oily and vaguely sinister. It matched his goatee well. “You should put your robot away. Can’t you see we don’t have enough room?”

“Tell that to the people carrying their gear. It wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t insist on carrying their stuff around.”

That look got him a few side-eye’d looks from the other customers. They all shared different emotions that ranged from confused, annoyed, or bemused.

“Why am I not surprised a Dollfucker can’t read?” A woman asked. Her platinum blonde curls bobbed with every word of her deep voice. “They can’t exactly go into our inventory, can they?”

He ignored the first statement and focused on the second. Any items could go into your inventory. Even stolen ones. Then he thought about what she’d said.

“Is this a quest or are they glitched?”

“Quest, not glitched. Haven’t checked out The Junkyard yet?” This question came from ahead of him, where a wiry man in glasses stood. “Figured you would have already tried to get some.”

“Been, busy,” Jester said.

The woman who’d spoken first huffed. “Admitting your deviancy in public?”

“Oh shut up,” the wiry man called. “We all know that’s not a girl powering that avatar.”

“How dare you!”

“Can you tell me more about the quest?” Jester interjected before the argument could get off the ground. The last thing he wanted to do was watch these two get into an internet fight. “Why are you all here?”

The man adjusted his glasses as the woman fumed.

“The quest sates that there is an unknown virus that has infected some of the robotic equipment that Geartown produces. One of unknown origin that makes the gear not only unusable, but taints anything it comes into contact with. That’s why the NPCs have been dumping it.”

“So you’re trying to offload it onto JamesG?”

Somewhere nearby, a voice tried to cover a laugh by turning it into a cough.

With a smile, the wiry man shook his head.

“Another part of the quest. Once we have it checked by a player running a shop, we can put it in our inventory with no ill-effects. Some people have even tried equipping it according to rumors. Though it doesn’t give any stats when they do.”

“Weird.”

JamesG hollering for the next customer interrupted them. Together, the group moved forward, and the dull roars from the counter started up once more. This one didn’t have nearly the same virtual. Someone buying something then.

“Does anyone know if we can purge it?”

With a shake of his head, the man shifted the twitching animal leg held in his arm. Metal poked through the fur in various places. Though Jester could tell it was a fine quality piece from the articulation of the joints.

“No one’s found any, or if they did, no one’s talking.”

“Weird. Thanks for telling me all this, by the way.”

“No problem,” the man smiled as he nodded towards Happy Hour. “It’s been nice seeing someone rep my favorite establishment in The Cups.”

Jester hoped he meant The Dollhouse, even as he smiled and nodded.

After that, there wasn’t much conversation as the line moved forward. He couldn’t help but throw glances towards Happy Hour. His gut telling him to make sure she was alright. She was. Though her eyes narrowed whenever they landed on one of the infected items.

When she caught his eye, she nodded to one. A hammer that didn’t look like anything special.

“Jester?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t like these items.”

That was interesting. Could she sense the virus somehow? If so, could any robot?

“What do you mean?”

“They feel wrong. Getting near it makes me want to shift away. I don’t like it in here.”

He winced at that. That would explain the glaring instead of the normal placid mask. If he went hunting for some of these items, Jester decided it might be best to leave her at home.

“We’ll be out of here as soon as we can. I promise.” He said.

That got him a small smile, even as his eyes kept scanning the room. Jester gave her hand a squeeze. An action that she reciprocated. It shocked him how good that action made him feel. Not in a romantic sense, but after playing solo for so long? He appreciated the Companionship.

The line moved at a slow pace. JamesG’s voice getting louder with each inch forward. A clang sounded out anytime a player dropped a piece of equipment on the counter. A signal to the rest of the room to brace for more yelling.

“YES IT HAS THE VIRUS. NO I CAN’T FIX IT. OF COURSE, I’M NOT GOING TO BUY IT YOU BLATHERING MORON! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! NEXT!”

In front of him, the man with the goatee scurried away after a verbal barrage of threats. Then they were there, and Jester smiled at the man behind the counter. Happy Hour’s hand dropping from his on the approach.

She moved to her normal place, just behind his shoulder.

“Hey JamesG. Are you selling ore today?”

***

“If you think you’re funny, you aren’t!” JamesG roared into his face. Spittle flying across the counter. “Get out of my face!”

Jester ignored the outburst and instead tapped the counter.

“Fine, we can talk about that weapon you sold me if you want? Ol’ Reliable, I believe it was called. An interesting name, considering it exploded on its first shot.”

Murmurs from behind sprang up, and JamesG shot him a look filled with venom.

“Did it cause you to lose?” They filled those words with such venom and hope, Jester knew without a doubt the sale was deliberate.

Still, he could tell his answer was going to annoy the arrogant man. There wasn’t a hope in hell he wouldn’t milf that for all it was worth. He leaned on the counter, face close to JamesG’s own.

He smiled and motioned back towards Happy Hour, who waved. Her cheery expressive giving the answer before he could. Not that he let it stop him.

“No, in fact, I wanted to thank you. Without it doing so, we would have lost. Blew our opponent’s hand right off. Quite impressive. I bet someone has a video somewhere? I wonder if they’d like to know where I got the weapon from.”

JamesG was showing teeth, though if it was a grimace, a snarl or a fake smile, it was hard to tell.

“I don’t care if people know I sold a Dollfucker defective goods. The plan was for you to make a fool of yourself.”

“So you admit to selling defects to people you don’t like?”

“No, I’m saying Dollfuckers. The people no one else likes.”

“I mean, you say that. But a man with your reputation of being an asshole? Well, whose to know?”

“What. Do. You. Want?”

“To start with? I was here because Kylee needed some ores. Dragon Copper and Alchemist Gold. Five lots of each. Now that I know you were deliberately trying to screw me over? I wonder what else you can throw in to sweeten the deal. Especially seeing as she would have given you a discount on the next share project for this.”

Jester didn’t bother to keep the smugness out of his face or voice. He let it ooze out and surround the conversation. It felt good to antagonize the man who’d come so close to making them lose their match against Heather.

He hadn’t even realized how annoyed it’d made him. However, now that he could get revenge? It sure tasted sweet.

“Fine, I have the ores. That all?” JamesG was all smiles as he reached under the counter.

People behind Jester were still murmuring. A few outright complaining about him holding up the line. He paid them no mind. His entire attention became fixated on watching JamesG work, trying to spot any potential tricks.

One after another, JamesG placed lumpy bits of metal on the counter.

There was a bronze one that contained a small fire that flickered with, while the other was normal gold except for the strange symbols stamped across it.

“Five Alchemist Gold and Five Dragon Copper. What else can I help you with?”

That was a good question. Now that the option was available, he wasn’t sure what he wanted. Not a weapon. He’d seen how that went. Armor was out. Madame Merriam was making something for him already. Maybe some kind of accessory?

“Do you have anything designed for Androids lying around?”

JamesG shook his head. “I don’t carry that filth.”

“What, nothing? Broach? Headband? Anything of the sort?”

At the mention of a Broach, he saw JamesG look away. Jester smiled and tapped the counter.

“You don’t want filth like that in your store, right? May as well give it to me.”

“Will you leave if I do?”

Jester nodded. “Of course. Scout’s honor.”

“Fine. Fine.” JamesG groped beneath the counter. “Don’t want you back here.”

“That’s up for Kylee to decide.” He didn’t bother to keep the smug expression off his face.

“No, it’s not. You’re banned. Get out of my sight.”

The broach that was pushed into his hand caused a statistics box to pop-up in front of him. Before he could even get a good look at the item, awe filled him with what it could do.

{Broach of the Shield Dancer
Creator: Unknown
Effect: Raise your defense rating by one category
Malfunction chance: Null
Equipment Slot: Torso - Android only
Estimated cost: 250 credits}

That was insane. A full category on its own? It would put her defense into the medium tier with just what she had on. Even with his limited item knowledge, he knew this was rare.

How it was worth only two-hundred and fifty credits surprised him. Even with the Android only restriction.

“How do you have this?”

“I believe I told you to leave.”

“James—”

“—get out. I have other customers. Next!”

Even as Jester turned to leave, he could see the hate on the man’s face. As well as some shame. Whatever was going on there, he wouldn’t find out today. Though it was interest, Jester knew he had his own problems.

When they got outside, he glanced at the item in his hand. The broach was small and looked like a small circular shield. It wasn’t anything fancy, or eye-catching. However, with its power, he supposed it didn’t need to be.

“What have you got there, Jester?” Happy Hour moved forward to inspect the broach.

“Some new equipment for you.” He tested putting it into his inventory. It went without issue. “Though considering what we learned earlier, I might get Kylee to look at it.”

“That sounds like a good idea. I don’t like this virus stuff.” She shuddered. “What if some got equipped on to me?”

Her words made him pause, and he looked at her. What would happen? With what Kylee told him about the way she worked, it could produce all kinds of results. Not that he wanted to test it. With her bizarre coding, it might break the game again.

As much as he liked her. He didn’t want to end up stuck in a jail cell again because she did something weird.

“I’ll do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen.” It was all he could think to say. “Let’s get back to Kylee.”

“As you say, Jester. It’ll be nice to get the weapon started.”

“Yeah, that way we can have an idea in mind when we visit Madame Merriam next. Your outfit needs to match.”

“Will you think she’ll let me wear the broach?”

“If it’s not infected, I don’t see why not,” Jester said. Though he knew he’d be putting it on her, regardless of the designer’s wishes. Unless she could give him something better.

As they walked back towards Kylee, he saw a message icon appear in his vision. With the raise of his hand, he moved towards the side of the road. When they were out of people’s way, he opened it. Glad to see it was a message from Dam13n.

However, when he looked inside, any joy vanished.

“Happy Hour,” he said as he closed out of the message. “Do you know how to get to Killso’s Melters?”