30.ii The Golden-Hooped Rod of Compliance

~ Ham Song ~

The pig was not built for this kind of travel. He could barely keep up with Bodhi and Sun Surina’s brisk pace through the outdated theme park.

When I see Ritsu, I’m going to make him carry me back to that bed and breakfast inn.

There was no use expressing his misery out loud. Ham Song knew that the monk wouldn’t listen. They were too focused on the hemline of Sun Surina’s school uniform. Despite this, Bodhi seemed to otherwise be on their best behavior. It probably had something to do with the peach soda coursing through their system. Ham Song wondered how long his companion would tolerate this quick fix. The pig wasn’t looking forward to puking more peaches any time soon.

After the three spirits had walked all the way to the fairgrounds on foot, Ham Song finally breathed a sigh of relief. If only he was anatomically capable, he would have waved to Sun Ritsu and Anari. Instead, he grunted and used the last of his energy to sprint past Bodhi and Suri.

“Great Sage! I’m starving!” Ham Song wailed as he snuggled up to Sun Ritsu’s ankles. “And you, benevolent monkey – you smell like cheeseburgers.”

Ham Song expected Ritsu to say something back, but when the pig received no greeting, he craned his fat neck to get a look at the monkey’s face.

There was a cautious look in Ritsu’s eyes that suddenly filled Ham Song up with unsavory tingles. He took a few steps back in order to give Ritsu some space and fully assess the situation.

Suri took advantage of the gap left by Ham Song. She invited herself to come closer to Ritsu, completely ignoring his tense body language. The pink-haired sun clone flicked Ritsu’s earring with the end of her scepter and asked, “Did you solve the phoenix’s riddle?” Not taking her eyes off of the jade earring, she added, “Can you believe how ugly he is? And he calls himself an immortal. It’s a riot.”

Ritsu’s jewel glinted sharply in the sun as he jerked his chin and took a step back from the thief. Edging closer to Anari, he replied, “The phoenix helped us.”

Ham Song noticed how uncharacteristically dark Ritsu’s tone had become. He wondered if the spideress or the monk had also picked up on the sudden change in Ritsu’s demeanor.

“Ritsu, Anari, come see!” Bodhi exalted, waving their can of peach soda in both of the spirits’ faces. “Suri helped us too!”

In the time that Ritsu and Anari’s attention had shifted to the monk, the other sun clone narrowed her eyes right before sparkles blasted from her star-tipped scepter. The sudden lightshow caused Ham Song to squeal. This could only mean one thing.

They were all about to be robbed.

But what could Sun Surina possibly want from us now?