Chapter 50:
My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead
Having to spend all day cooped up in your room, doing nothing but schoolwork, fucking blows. Especially when your sister's bringing the entire city of Funabashi over while you're trying to concentrate.
Okay. Done with the social studies lesson. I just put down whatever, because it's not like I care if I fail. So they're gonna transfer me to a public school, so fucking what? Only nerds and losers care about that kind of stuff.
I guess I can take a break now. How's my back doing? Let me stretch- Fuck! I'm too young to be having aches and pains, dammit!
Shit. I've done nothing but sit at my desk all day and I'm sore.
The guitar that old man Mitsukoshi gave me is still propped up in the corner of my bedroom near my closet, next to a pile of dirty clothes. Mom always gives me so much shit whenever she sees stuff like that. She shakes her head and goes, "You're old enough to clean up after yourself", but when Nee-san chews with her mouth open or something like that she won't say a word. I mean, I do my laundry, so who cares where my clothes go?
I really want to practice some more. I saw this YooToob video of this girl who has like 100000 subscribers and she's super good. She doesn't read music...it's all improvising. I wanna learn how to do it like her. Mitsukoshi says I'm making good progress, but I think he's just trying to gas me up. I mean, I've only been playing for about a month or so, even if I do practice for two or so hours every day. I'm nowhere near the guys in Two OK Roll or Mrs. Adults or Coldsnow or whoever.
Damn, I really wanna play some more, but if I do Nee-san will start yelling at me, even though she and those other guys were loud enough to distract me even with the door closed and my earbuds in. I have no idea where she found Benkei and Titties McGee, and I don't want to know. They both looked lame as fuck. Especially that big daruma-lookin’ motherfucker. And then there's Kouga. He really ain't that bad of a guy...but that doesn't mean he's allowed on my turf. Nee-san brought the whole freak brigade over. My parents act like she’s such a great role model and she's hosting an orgy while they're at work.
That is what it's called, right? It's when a bunch of friends get together and do stupid stuff. Acchan taught me about it. It's one of those weird foreign words. I have no idea why you wouldn't call it "hanging out", but people with their heads up their own asses use foreign words to sound smarter or something like that.
Speaking of Nee-san...
Is the coast clear?
Yup. I called it. As soon as I step into the hallway, I can tell. Her door's wide open and she's sitting at her PC, tapping away at the keyboard while lights flash on the screen in whatever weird game she's playing. My parents bought her that stupid-looking RGB or RPG or whatever thing it is, but they won't even buy me a used GS4.
She has no idea I'm right here. Someone could be robbing our house and she wouldn't realize it.
Welp, makes it easier on me. She won't even realize I'm gone.
I've done this a million times. Open the window, crawl onto the small section of roof outside, and then drop down into the street. That's all there is to it.
"Hey, Gramps! Sorry I'm late!" The small, cluttered music store is exactly the same when I push open the door- instruments hanging all over the walls, cords strewn everywhere, posters peeling on the back walls- it's less of a store and more of a shrine to Mitsukoshi-san's love of rock.
No, I'm not getting fuckin' sappy. Shut the fuck up before I knock you the fuck out.
Old man Mitsukoshi doesn't even look up when I come in. Or maybe he does. I can't really tell through his bushy eyebrows. "Good afternoon, Ryou-kun. It's really not a problem at all."
"Mitsukoshi-sensei, can I keep this here for a while?" I hold out the guitar to him, and he takes it without even changing his expression. It didn't get damaged when I climbed out the window, but one of these days it might, and I don't want to take that chance.
"Of course you can, Ryou-kun-" he looks it over for a second- "but I thought you needed it to practice." The old man shuffles out from behind the desk with his back hunched over, as usual. "Is something going on at home, by any chance?"
"N-no, not really...I just bought my own guitar..." Damn, I hope that worked. That was probably the lamest excuse I've ever given.
"Oh, so that's what's going on," Mitsukoshi replies, stroking his chin. "If you don't mind telling me, what guitar did you get? If Shigehiro or I had known you were planning on buying one, we might have been able to give you some pointers, but I guess it is what it is."
"Um...an Ivanez...4F." Holy shit, I'm sweating. I don't even know if there's a guitar called that.
"Interesting."
When I dip into the back, the curtain to the first practice room is open, and the place is in a bit of disarray, but no one is there.
"Oh, that's right, Ryou-kun," Mitsukoshi says as he slowly sidles up next to me. "Your friends were here earlier, but they finished their lesson and went home."
Figures. Mom and Dad took my phone, too, so I don't have any way to talk to my boys. I bet they're thinking I'm dead at this point.
"That's fine. I'll talk to them later. Anyways, what's the lesson for today?"
"I'd like it if you practiced solos," Mitsukoshi replies, stroking his goatee yet again. "Based on what Shigehiro has told me, even though you're the rhythm guitar, you're at the point where you should start being able to play solos on your own."
Solos? At this point? I'm not sure I'm ready, but the thought fills me with pride. "Yes! I'll do my best!"
"All right." Mitsukoshi nods. "Let's begin."
"Um...what about the sheet music?" The stand in front of me that normally holds a thick book is empty.
Mitsukoshi slowly shakes his head. "The best musicians know how to improvise. That's what I'd like you to do. Knowing how to read music is a nice skill to have, but the core of rock is creativity."
"Wait. This is way too sudden. How do I do that?"
"It's not as hard as it seems. Go ahead and play a chord."
"Alright." Hesitantly, I hit a Cdim. I just learned this a week or so ago, but I've been practicing so many hours that I can position my fingers without even looking.
"Remember how that felt, Ryou-kun. Now, play it again."
"Okay..." I do what I'm told, letting the chord reverberate.
"Again!"
"Yes!"
"Now keep going!"
"What? What do you mean?"
"Let your body tell you what to do. Just play something different!"
Suddenly, my fingers lock in position, and a different note sounds. It's not the Cdim I was strumming just a second ago. I didn't think hard about playing another note, but it's like my body reacted.
And the transition between the two chords sounded really good.
When I look over to old man Mitsukoshi, he's nodding in approval. "Good. How did that feel?"
"I don't know...it's almost like my body reacted before I thought of anything..."
"Ryou-kun, have you ever hummed something to yourself?"
"I guess I have?" It's something that kids do. You make up a nonsense melody and sing it.
"Improvising is the same thing. When you make up a song, your brain is working hard, determining melodies, lyrics...all sorts of things. Yet it doesn't feel like you're thinking too much. You're just letting your inner creativity guide you. When you improvise, just play the next thing that comes to mind. Does that make sense?"
"Kind of...but not really?"
"Here, I'll show you."
Old man Mitsukoshi gingerly takes the guitar from my hands, hesitantly strums once, twice, and then a melody erupts from his fingertips. From how slowly he moved, I thought he was arthritic at first and couldn't play the guitar anymore...but I was wrong. The sound coming from his guitar is like nothing I've ever heard before, and yet I can't stop listening.
When the final note sounds, everything is still for a second. It's like his solo sucked all the sound up from the world.
Finally, Mitsukoshi says gently, "What did you think of that?"
"It was...amazing. I couldn't do that if I tried." He really is Shige's granddad. Both of them are incredible musicians, and I'm nothing compared to them.
"Oh, but you can, Ryou-kun," Mitsukoshi says. For a second, I think I get a hint of mischief in his voice. "At one point, I was like you. I wasn't born with the ability to play. It took me time to learn, as well."
"But I don't know...how am I supposed to learn how to do what you did?"
"You’re not learning how to do exactly as I did. What you're learning is how to create. Let's start again." He hands the guitar back to me. "Play another chord. Ready?"
"Yes." This time, I start off with a D7, letting the chord dissipate into the air.
"Keep going!"
"Alright!" As I keep strumming, the sound of another chord pops into my head. Before I can think about what the note actually is, it comes out of my guitar. Then comes another one, and another one, and another one. It's like I'm not even in control of my body anymore, but it sounds incredible.
I guess this is the feeling Mitsukoshi was describing-
My fingers slip off the fretboard, ending my solo with a horrendous screech. I immediately wince at the noise.
I expect Mitsukoshi to be looking at me with disapproval for the hideous sound that came off of my guitar, but he just nods. I can't tell what his expression is through his eyebrows anyways.
"Good," he mumbles. "That's what improvising is all about."
"So that was what I was supposed to be doing?"
"Yes. Can you remember what kind of feeling you had while you were playing?"
"I don't know..." It's not really something that can be put into words.
"It was like you didn't have control of yourself, right?"
"How did you know that?"
"Well, it's the same feeling every guitarist gets when he's locked in," the old man chuckles. "Have you ever heard about a sports player being 'in the zone'? Pardon my old mind for making that comparison, but I think it's the same thing. You're focused on nothing else but your music, and your mind and body react before you realize it."
"So, it's like a superpower or something?"
"No," the old man replies, a hint of mirth in his voice. "It's just something that I wanted you to experience. If you can remember how you felt and focus everything on getting in that state again...then that's what makes a successful improv."
"Okay...I still don't understand how to do it, but I'll try..." I don't know if it's really that great of a comparison. The old man is talking about "getting in the zone" like it's something anyone can do at any time, but if it was that easy, everyone would be a pro athlete.
"All right. Here you go." Mitsukoshi hands me my guitar back.
Fuck. This shit is tough, dude. I keep trying to just play whatever comes to mind, but it's a lot harder when you’re constantly thinking about "the zone". I occasionally can get where I'll play a few notes without thinking about it, and it starts to sound good, but as soon as I realize, I'll freeze up.
Old man Mitsukoshi, standing in front of me, raises one bushy eyebrow and says, "Shouldn't we wrap up for the day, Ryou-kun?"
"No, I can keep going!" I'm gonna find that "zone" he was talking about. I feel like it's close. I was almost there.
"Ryou-kun...it's 6:15."
"It is?!"
When I look up, the clock in the practice room is showing 6:15 PM. I stand there for a second in shock. It felt like I'd only been playing for a half hour, but it's actually been three. Weird.
Oh, fuck.
At this point, Nee-san's probably really suspicious. I've got to get home, and I've got to get home fast.
"Thank you for the lesson, Mitsukoshi-sensei!" I quickly bow. "See you tomorrow!"
As I turn to leave, Mitsukoshi's voice stops me. "Ryou-kun...there won't be a lesson tomorrow."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"I've taught you all that I can. You can come by and practice on your own, but I don't have anything else to teach you."
"But I'm not even close to being as good of a guitarist as you!"
"That's the thing...it's not about you becoming a copy of me. It's about you making your own style and becoming your own musician. At your age, you're much farther along than I ever was."
"There's still so much I can learn from you, though-"
The old man sighs. "Ryou-kun...I'm closing down the store in a month."
"What?! Why?!"
"I'm...just too old to keep going."
I had never really thought about it before, but those words make me suddenly realize just how frail old man Mitsukoshi is. I had always thought of him as a wise teacher who could do everything, but suddenly, right in front of my eyes, I'm seeing an old grandpa.
"But don't you have anyone else that can run the store? What about Shige?"
"I want my family to find their own way in life," he sighs. "It wouldn't be right for me to force them into this."
"But I don't understand! You've taught me so much...and now you're leaving me?"
"I'm sorry, Ryou-kun. You can keep the rental guitar, if it makes you feel better."
"That's not what I care about! After how hard I worked, I thought I would be able to take the next step...but now you're leaving me, and I don't know what to do..."
"Won't your bandmates be able to help you?"
"They're just learning with me...it's not the same thing...you're a great person, Mitsukoshi-sensei. When I stumbled across this store, you helped me realize how fun music was...and whenever I made a mistake, you were always there to reassure me. I thought you enjoyed teaching me...so I can't understand why you'd leave me..."
The old man gives me a bit of a concerned look. "Ryou-kun, I'm just a music store owner."
"No, you're more than that...at least to me. You never judged me, or called me an irredeemable delinquent with no future. Everyone around me treats me like I'm trash, even my family. You didn't do that. You gave me a place where I belong."
Fuck, I just said something sappy. God fucking dammit. I sound like the boyfriend in a morning fucking drama. Fuck.
For a second, Mitsukoshi stands there silent, stroking his chin. Then, he slowly says, "I'm sorry, Ryou-kun. I didn't realize how much those lessons meant to you. There's one last thing I can do for you. Come with me."
"What's that?" I slowly follow him to the front of the store, which is still empty. I guess that's why he's closing it down. In all my time taking lessons here, I've rarely seen any customers come in. Maybe two or three on a good day. I can't imagine he's making money.
Old man Mitsukoshi slowly shuffles through his desk and pulls out a notepad, jotting something down before tearing the paper off and handing it to me. Written on the sheet of paper is a name and an address.
"Yuyu...Shibuya?"
Mitsukoshi nods. "If you visit her and tell her that you're Youzan Mitsukoshi's apprentice, she'll help you learn whatever you need to know."
Suddenly, reality hits me. While I was spending all my time being sappy and giving a heartfelt speech, Nee-san probably opened up my door and now she's fucking PISSED. I've gotta get home before she realizes...
"Thanks so much, Mitsukoshi-sensei! Gotta go!"
The trip home is a blur. I wasn't running or anything...okay, at a few points, I was running a little, but not for long...but I can barely focus on my surroundings because everything that was going on was fuckin' wack, dude. Old man Mitsukoshi blindsided me. Feels like he stabbed me in the back. I thought we had a good thing going and he pulled the rug out from under me.
Shit. I'm getting sentimental again. Real hard-ass gangsters don't get sad or anything. I swear.
Soon, my home is right in front of me. My parents' cars aren't in the garage. Whew. Dodged that bullet. Not like I expected that they'd be home because they don't fuckin' care about us kids, but still.
Slowly, I hoist myself up to the brick wall on the perimeter of my home's tiny yard, then leap across to the small section of roof right underneath my window. From here, I can slowly peek my head up through the window.
I'm bracing myself to see Nee-san staring back at me with murder in her eyes, but the door to my room is shut. It just looks the same as ever. Oh, thank God. I'm home safe. All I need to do is open the window and then-
THUMP
Oh, shit, my foot slipped...I hope she didn't hear that-
FUCK FUCK FUCK THE LIGHT IN HER ROOM JUST TURNED OFF GET IN THERE GET IN THERE NOW
In one motion, I throw open my window, pull myself into my bedroom with all my strength, and-
The door to my room flies open, and my sister looms large in the doorway.
Fuck. She's gonna kick my ass. I just know it.
"Hey, brat. What are you doing?"
"Studying. What does it look like?"
"Why's the window open?"
"Ever heard of getting some fresh air?"
I expect her to suddenly bolt across the room and start stretching me like a pretzel, but instead a quizzical expression crosses her face and she says, "Well, as long as you're getting your work done, I guess that's fine."
Before I can respond, she shuts the door, leaving me alone again in my room.
It takes a few seconds before I can even flop down on the floor and breathe a sigh of relief. I actually made it home safely. Nee-san's such a fucking dumbass that I was gone for hours and she never realized it. I bet she put in her headphones and zoned out. Man, she would make an awful detective. Or any job that requires focusing, come to think of it. How come my parents think she's such a great role model? She's a moron. I'm way smarter than her.
As I lay down, my hands relax, and the crumpled note that Mitsukoshi gave me falls to the floor. Slowly, I open the note up, putting it up toward the overhead light.
Yuyu Shibuya. I wonder who she is. Weird name, alright, but old man Mitsukoshi acted like he knew her...she must be some rocker chick.
4-15-3...Nerima?
That's in Tokyo. I swear that's in Tokyo.
Fuck, how am I gonna make it there and back without anyone noticing?
Please log in to leave a comment.