Chapter 21: Dousing Date

Happy Hour’s new get-up attracted attention.

They weren’t the only people to be crowding around the east gate. Most of the players there were wearing the typical Bikebrawler13 outfit. Not all, though. Others dressed specifically to signify their lack of affiliation with that group.

All of them looked towards them as they approached.

Eyes of all shapes, colors, and sizes locked on to Happy Hour. Conversations died Midway through as she marched towards them. Instead of her normal spot behind his shoulder, she walked beside him.

Her head held high.

“That’s them, right?” Someone whispered, though to who he couldn’t tell.

“Yeah, the Dollfucker.”

“I thought she was a maid?”

“Me too.”

The whispered continued along that vein until they approached the gate. As soon as Jester attempted to get through, some moved to block him with a hand.

“Sorry man,” a bald, overweight man said. “They’re still setting up the area for the stream.”

“Oh, so I can’t go look around?” Jester asked, putting a hand up to stop Happy Hour from moving through the player. “I wanted to make sure the spot was a good one.”

“It will be. Wait for Tad. He’ll escort you.” With his piece said, the player rested against the side of the bridge.

“And how long will he be?” Jester made a show of looking around.

Beside him, Happy Hour stirred. With the motion came the sound of a wave crashing into a cliff side. It rang out, drawing any attention that hadn’t already been on her.

“I’ll send him a message. But we weren’t expecting you from another hour.”

The player’s eyes didn’t leave Happy Hour, even as he typed into the air. When he’d sent the message off, he licked his lips. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Jester shrugged, sure he knew what the question was going to be.

“What’s with the get-up?”

“Mine? Oh, a friend gave it to me.”

Someone laughed, though it wasn’t much of one. The man in front of him frowned and shook his head.

“Nah, the doll.”

“Android.” Jester articulated the word, while saying it loud enough it would carry.

“Excuse me?” This came from a woman nearby. From her expression, she seemed genuinely confused.

“Android. Doll is not the proper term for them. Most of the people in the community prefer the term Android.”

He wasn’t sure why he was making a point of this. Jester knew well enough he wasn’t exactly going to change anyone’s mind. At least this allowed him to kill some time, he supposed. Plus, if he got the word out there, maybe the stigma would change.

Though he expected if he wanted that, it would take winning a lot more fights against some powerful people. Who know? Bikebrawler13 might be the first. Around him, people gave each other side-eyed glances. The man he was talking to smirked.

“Right. So, about the doll’s new outfit?”

“Happy Hour,” Jester stressed the name. “Is wearing an outfit made by an NPC crafter, and painted by both myself and him. Do you like it?”

“It’s fancy,” the man agreed. “Figured the submissive maid thing was more your type, though.”

That got genuine laughter. Various members of the crowd were slapping each other on the back and doubling over. It was far more than the joke deserved. Jester, however, felt little.

Let them have their fun. His attention was on the upcoming fight.

While logged off and between work, he’d done what research he could. Even though he wouldn’t have any direct control during the fight. It seemed to him crucial to know more about his opponent.

After all, it was the tip off about the mesmerizing powers of his first bout that allowed them to win.

From what he gathered, BikeBrawler13 was an old school player. His robot hadn’t changed since he’d gotten in. Oh, they upgraded the parts as expansions came out, of course.

However, the base form of it wasn’t any different.

The Cycle’o’Violence. A motorcycle based on his real life one. Though this one came armed and dangerous. In his recent streams, he’d been showing off his shotgun.

Double-barreled, it blew any undefended opponents away with ease. The bike’s spike covered wheels, crushing any that survived.

A deadly combination.

As they waited, Jester filled Happy Hour in on the details. Together, they discussed strategy. Not that they could say much with so many people around.

As a bike, he’d seen no way for it to right itself. A simple kick to push it over should do the trick.

Happy Hour saluted and promised to do her best.

Tad arrived close to the scheduled hour. Right in the middle of the group speculating on the different ways he’d lose. His smile was wide and filled with a sadistic pleasure.

“You came.” The voice boomed loud enough to quiet the others.

Some of which started snickering.

“Early too,” Jester said. “Am I allowed to go in, or do you need more time to set up? Your friends here are running the same joke into the ground.”

That earned him a few scowls. All of which he ignored. They didn’t matter. Tad did. The bigger man nodded.

“Yeah, yeah. We’re set up. You want to follow me?”

“Lead the way.”

Jester followed him across the bridge, both of them paying the single credit to the bridge guard. Not Gero, and not one that Jester knew the name of. From the way the NPC cringed away from Tad, however, it was clear there was a history there.

RagerSystems did their best to discourage violence and harassment of the games NPCs. That didn’t make it impossible. If one was smart and picked their timing.

They walked through The Junkyard in silence.

As they moved, Jester tried to pick out any signs of being watched. People moving on top of the mounds, a robot camouflaged in a box of scrap, or any other such thing.

He didn’t spot any of those.

Not that it stopped him from worrying. An ambush or something similar wasn’t impossible. Harassment to get him to quit. Time-wasting was the ultimate threat when one had nothing else.

Tad moved through the area at a brisk pace. Never once checking behind him to make sure that Jester was keeping up.

Not that he planned on falling behind.

Between Tad and Happy Hour’s marching pace, there was little chance of it. As they turned into a new section, the sight forced him to blink. Someone had done some serious remodeling. Even though he’d seen it on the stream, the view still took Jester by surprise.

“You really dug all this?”

The words slipped out as he looked into the pit. A series of ladders were all around the edges. Packed dirt made up the floor. Around were a set of hastily put together bleachers. Chairs of all sorts making up a ring.

It was a poor imitation of the coliseum, where one man reigned supreme.

The man in question was already in the pit. He waved up at Jester as they approached the edge. Tad didn’t bother to answer the question as he led them forward.

Jester waved back, unsure what else to do. Bikerbrawler113 looked as he always did. A solidly built human man, bald and wearing a leather jacket without a shirt beneath. Which allowed everyone to see his sculpted muscles.

That was a popular bit of DLC when it came out.

His robot was nowhere to be seen, but he supposed that wasn’t too surprising. It would come out for the fight.

“Your Jester right?” Bikerbrawler13 called up to him. His voice was rough, but not so much it was hard to make out his words. “Come on down. Fans will be here in a minute.”

A look toward Tad got him a nod towards one of the nearest ladders. Jester choose a more stable looking one, and made his way into the pit. He turned to watch Happy Hour as she slid down the side of the ladder.

She landed with a small thud and didn’t even seem to feel it.

“I am. It’s nice to meet you,” Jester said as he approached, hand outstretched. “I’ve seen your streams.”

“Ones that’ll hopefully get more popular after this.” BikerBrawler13 laughed as he accepted the handshake. His grip was firm. “Everyone loves watching a doll get crushed.”

Jester didn’t respond to that, but he saw Happy Hour shift into a combat stance.

“When is the big show starting?”

“Soon. Tads going to grab everyone else. When they fill the stands, we can get going. Your bot ready?”

“She is indeed. Yours?”

“Oh yeah. Revved up and ready to go. This is going to be fun. Thanks for doing this.”

“You say this like I got a choice.” Jester tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Bikebrawler13 laughed again. “Oh, it’s fine. It’s fine. Come on, I think I can hear people coming. Game faces on. It’s time for the show to start.”

***

People started to arrive and take their seats. Voices murmured all around them. A few calling out the streamers’ name as they settled themselves down. BikerBrawler13 waved to them. Unbothered by the commotion. While he did so, Jester moved closer to Happy Hour.

“You ready for this?”

“Yes, Captain.” She didn’t salute, her helmet never facing away from Bikerbrawler13. “We shall show our valor on this day. This pit will never again see the likes of what we shall accomplish.”

Jester resisted the urge to rub his eyes. She sounded so sincere, and he knew if she had a sword, it would have been in the air.

“Remember what we talked about?”

“Knock the bike over.”

“Great. Let’s get this done.”

His pre-match discussion finished, he turned to see BikerBrawler13 waving the crowd to silence. People sat all around them. Most of them were groupies, but he could see others as well. A smile crossed his face as he noted a few armbands.

Jile must have been working overtime.

Other members of the union coming to see him. That was a nice show of support. He’d have to thank Mistletail for organizing it.

“Ladies, Gentlemen, Folk and Robot!” Bikerbrawler13 called out as his standard greeting. “Are you ready for a show?”

Cheers and clapping rang out until they were once again silenced. Whispers, however, remained. Alongside plenty of people pointing or gesturing towards himself and Happy Hour.

“Today we have a special guest with us. Jester! Winner of the first round of this year’s Frankenstein Cup. Alongside his robot, Happy Hour!”

Boos overshadowed the cheers to a large margin. Still, he was happy that Bikerbrawler13 didn’t use the term doll. It wasn’t much, but at least he was showing politeness on camera.

“Now we’re about to climb up to the fighter’s section. Are you all ready for a ready CYCLE’O’VIOLENCE?” His voice boomed out far louder on the last words than during the rest of his sentence. Similar to Kylee’s enhancement, but not as painful.

A fact Jester could appreciate it.

Besides, the crowd did well enough at getting to that volume on their own. As they cheered, Bikerbrawler13’s robot appeared in the area. A motorcycle made of sleek grey steel. Parts of its frame bore painting flames that pointing towards the back of the bike.

The spikes on the wheels glistened with oil, and the shotgun attached to the handlebars swiveled about. As though already searching for a target.

Bikerbrawler13 jerked a thumb over his shoulder. Though he couldn’t hear the words spoken, he got the gist. With another pat to Happy Hour’s shoulder, he moved to the ladder and started the climb.

At the edge of the pit, he saw Tad. The big man getting himself a ring-side seat.

“You ready to lose?” Tad asked, as Jester settled himself down in a provided chair.

“I’m not the guy you should be asking that.”

Tad snorted, and together they peered down into the pit.

A box appeared in front of him, counting down. It wasn’t until it reached near the end that he paid any head to it.

{3.
2.
1.
Fight.}

The blast of the shotgun went off as soon as the countdown vanished from view.

Happy Hour stumbled back, and then once again as the next one went hit right after. Jester silently thanked JamesG for the broach. If it wasn’t for that, he doubted she would have lasted that long.

It wasn’t like she had much health.

The crowd cheered, screaming for blood as the bike revved its engine. Happy Hour straightened and got ready to fight. As the bike continued to shift about as though finding the best angel at which to ram her, Happy Hour stamped her foot.

Waves crashing against stone filled the area.

When she clapped her hands, he could hear a waterfall. Both together started a beat. A percussion filled piece that showcased the violence of the ocean.

Cycle’o’Violence wouldn’t let her keep this up. Once more, its engine revved before the spiked wheels spun. Its engine roared as it drove towards her, planning on ramming her into the wall.

Instead of taking the hit, she sidestepped.

The sound of something large moving through the water accompanied this motion. As he watched, the sea dragon that adorned her armor seemed to shift opposite to her.

When she kicked out, its tail appeared to wrap around the spokes in the wheel.

Water gushed forth, a geyser that tipped the bike onto its back wheel. Jester smiled, but then frowned. He’d expected the other robot to flip. To land like a turtle and be stuck.

However, it simply popped a wheelie and then hopped away from Happy Hour. The mud allowing it enough traction to turn.

Otherwise, Jester knew it would have hit the wall.

Happy Hour didn’t seem concerned. Once more, returning to her fighting pose, still stamping and clapping as she did. The Cycle’o’Violence moved around the area, gaining speed as it moved in a small circle.

Tad snorted as he watched the fight.

“Your Doll is toast.”

“What makes you say that?” Jester asked. “It seems the bike is stuck. We both know one good hit will end this.”

“For you, maybe.” Tad leaned back. “Watch.”

Jester did. However, he was unsure what Tad wanted him to see. Happy Hour wasn’t going on the attack. She seemed happy enough to wait. The sea dragon adorning her armor shifted and swayed as she did. Which gave it the impression it was waiting for something.

Cycle’o’Violence continued to spin. It got faster and faster until it was a near blur. The roar of its engine drawing out almost everything else.

As he watched it, he realized it was gathering momentum for some kind of ultimate attack. He expected another ram. What happened was vastly different.

It tore out of the small circle, heading towards the nearest wall. There wasn’t a crash as he expected. Instead, the bike angled itself at the last minute and drove along it. Engine blaring as it approached Happy Hour.

She simply watched it drive past her.

Happy Hour was turning as the bike sped around the walls of the arena. The wheel spikes along with the speed helping with the maneuver. Once or twice, it would come down to dash along the ground. However, it never got close to Happy Hour herself.

This kept up for several more minutes, long enough for Jester to get a sense of the annoyance stem from the crowd. While interesting, it wasn’t exciting. They came here to watch Happy Hour lose.

As though sensing the crowd, Cycle’o’Violence obliged.

Its tactics changed, and it came off the wall behind Happy Hour. Her movements were too slow to fully track the speeding machine.

When it stuck her, she hit the ground with the sound of splashing water. Someone diving cannonball into a pool. People shriek, and laughed as she lay there, the bike once more on the walls.

Jester cursed under his breath, willing her to get up. She did, slowly, but she did.

Instead of continuing her stamp and clap combo, she threw punches. Water flew from her hands and she moved. Happy Hour spun like a top, kicking and punching anywhere the Cycle’o’Violence was along the wall.

All her attacks missed.

Tad laughed, leaning forward in his chair.

“One more hit, you think?” He asked.

Jester didn’t answer, instead straining his ears. He could hear the rhythm of her attack. The music of the waves still continued, which meant she was continuing to fight. Not that he thought Tad was wrong.

She couldn’t keep this up forever.

It was unlikely to matter, however.

A grin came over his face as he noticed the change to the arena. One that no one else seemed to have spotted yet. Happy Hour continued to punch, though she seemed to aim lower now. As though her limbs were too heavy to lift all the way.

Water flew away from her. Soaking into the dirt of the walls and the ground. The ladders dripped, pools forming at their bases. With each punch, the sound of the ocean grew louder, and he swore he could hear the roar of a mighty beast.

This couldn’t continue forever, of course. The Cycle’o’Violence made sure of that.

However, when it dropped from the walls this time, it slowed. Mud splattered against the steel frame. Flames being covered by the thick substance. Happy Hour dodged the ram attack, still punching and kicking. Each movement making the dirt even more soggy.

Between her footfalls and the bike’s wheels, muck covered both of them.

Through the dirt, the sea dragon writhed. Purple scales visible against the brown. People weren’t cheering now. It was murmurs, shouts and the motion of people shifting in their seats. Jester watched it all with a smile.

Cycle’o’Violence tried another ram. It was too slow. The sea dragon swam through the muck, coming up beside the bike. From its body came a wall of water that knocked the bike onto its side.

A foot kept it trapped there as water roared down onto it.

The sea dragon rained down pillars of water until a box appeared in Jester's vision.

It did little but declare his victory, a fact that was obvious to anyone watching.

As soon as the box appeared, the water stopped.

There was Happy Hour once more, standing over the muddy and battered motorbike.

Jester stood from his seat, mimicking the actions of BikerBrawler13 on the other side of the arena. Both men met in the middle, ignoring the squelching mud beneath them.

“You fight well,” Bikerbrawler13 said as they shook hands.

“Right back at you. Tad thought I was a goner.”

That got a laugh, an even a few bouts of snickering from the crowd. Though they were still overly silent. He’d expected booing and threats. However, none came.

“Ladies, Gentlemen, Folk and Robot! We have our winner!”

That got a cheer from the crowd. Though one that sounded confused. Jester didn’t care, instead he walked to Happy Hour and slapped her on the back.

“You did well.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

Bikerbrawler13 drew their attention with the ending of the stream. His usual sign-off followed by a few ad reads for products Jester didn’t know. Some mobile game.

As everyone started to disperse, the streamer turned to him.

“If you ever want back on, feel free. It’s been a blast. Loved the water attack.” He was smiling, a gesture that Jester returned.

“Maybe at some point. If you ever want something painted, let me know. I did Happy Hour’s, would be happy to work on yours.”

“I might take you up on that. Now get out of here. I have got to figure out how to get this cleaned up.”

Jester did as he was told, happy not to get stuck with that job.

Besides, he needed to get ready to go see Tiffany. Plus, get Happy Hour out of that armor. It was powerful, but he preferred her normal form.

***

She was laughing as he detailed the fight to her.

They sat in a small booth, Happy Hour once again with Madame Merriam. The dressmaker was more than happy to keep her around. It felt odd to not have her by his side. He’d grown used to her company. But Tiffany was fun enough company, it didn’t weigh on him much.

“I bet they weren’t expecting that?”

He watched her lift a solid gold coffee mug to her lips and take a drink. Not her first since they’d been here. When her arm lifted, he couldn’t help but notice the way the dress shifted with the movements.

The red dress with the black trim looked stunning on her. Though, the confidence in which she wore it helped. Along with her rather stunning physique.

More than once temptation almost overwhelmed him to ask why she went with such a muscular avatar.

However, that was rude in every way.

Jester shook his head. “Nope. They went dead silent. Bikerbrawler13 didn’t seem to mind, though.”

Tiffany laughed once more. A pleasant sound, and one he knew he could get used to.

“Yeah. I’ve heard he was a nice guy. People at the Dollhouse have talked about him a few times.”

“How is work?”

“Jester, please. Really, work talk?” She smiled as she picked up her fork and dug into a small cake she’d ordered. It was a chocolate vanilla mix, and good even for VR standards. At least if the noises she made as she chewed were any sign.

“I thought you liked your job.”

“Oh, I do.” She smiled at him. “I get to meet some very interesting people.”

He looked away, his body reacting strangely because of its lack of being able to flush. Another laugh. He felt a hand pat his own.

“Still, we have better things to discuss. Such as… Jester, tell me about your life. I know you’re a Scrapper, but what else? Why this game?”

“Maybe I just like the interesting people?”

She smiled at him warmly, but gestured with her fork. He grinned back before he continued.

“Who hasn’t wanted to own a robot? Plus, the fights are fun to watch. That was the start, anyway. As I played, I got more into the world. Made some friends. Found things I enjoyed. It was a pleasant escape from the day job, ya know?”

“Oh, I know that feeling.” Tiffany nodded. “Factory worker.”

“Office retail.”

She made a face. “Haven’t heard many good things about that.”

“I thought we weren’t talking about work?” Jester laughed, and she joined in.

He took a bite of his own dessert. She was right; it was good.

“What about you, though? Why this place? Also, why guard a door?”

“I like robotics. Have since I was a kid. We all heard how the future would provide robot servants, right?”

When he nodded, she continued.

“That’s what I wanted. Met Debrah early, when she was just making the Dollhouse. We worked together on it. She decided with my physique the door would be perfect. Which worked for me. It’s nice to stand and watch the world go by. Plus, I get days off whenever I want them.”

“Because she can’t stop you?” Jester asked.

“Exactly, because she can’t stop me.” Tiffany took another bite of the cake with relish.

The two devolved into more chatter as they discussed their lives. No real details, or at least nothing traceable. She had a brother who worked in engineering. Jester mention his parents having split when he was young.

They both agreed over high school being awful.

It was over coffee that Jester finally got the nerve to ask about the fact he’d been wondering about.

“Tiffany. Why did you ask me out like this?”

“Why not?” She looked at him, mug in hand. “I thought you were cute. Figured we both enjoyed the game. Did you not want to do this?”

Her question was earnest, and he shook his head.

“I’d love to try. You seem great. Was just curious more than anything.”

“Seem great, huh?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“It has only been one date. I need at least two.”

“Smooth.”

They laughed in unison, even as Jester shook his head.

“It’s so weird, you know?”

“What is?”

“That without Happy Hour, there are so many people I wouldn’t have met.”

She shrugged. “That’s life, dude. What can you do?”

“True enough.” Jester nodded and finished the last of his cake. “Still weird.”

“For sure. But so is life.” With one hand, she clasped his and gave him a smile. “But hey, we met and get to try this out. So weird isn’t all bad.”

Before he could get a word out, she continued on.

“Also, I know you’re running high off your win today. You as excited about tomorrow?”

“For sure.” Jester nodded. “It’s going to be an interesting fight.”

“Think you have time for a quick stroll around town before then?” Her eyes met his. “I could do with a walk.”

“Same, honestly. Let’s go.”