Chapter 26: Disappointing Dress

They didn’t make it to Kylee’s workshop before their first interruption.

Happy Hour slid to a stop beside Jester as an obstacle forced him to the side of the road. He watched the mass of people flow along the streets. Most moved with little effort.

However, a disturbance forced others to turn or even find an alternate route.

Angry shouting drew his attention to the point. As a small gap opened, he winced at the sight. In the middle of it all stood a Scrapper, their red armband marking them as a union member.

They stood next to a chimera-bot. The first non-bestial one he’d seen.

It was a tank. Though one designed by either a madman or a small child. Either way, its creator didn’t bother with reference material. Three sets of tank treads made up the bottom of the vehicle. With several twisting and bending barrels pointing out from then.

Different metallic plates made up the body. More barrels and, oddly, a set of plan wings stuck out at various angles.

Jester wondered briefly if it could have some sort of flight capability.

A stinking black cloud of exhaust spilled from the back of the pink and orange painted monstrosity. Each of the seven exhaust pipes rumbling at rattling even while the rest of the machine remained still.

They protruded from the top of the machine, and the sides, and even the bottom. Their diameters were never the same.

A cluster of Geartown players stood in front of the Chimera-bot tank. All of them dressed in expensive clothes and looked annoyed. Jester studied them, but didn’t see any accompanied by a robot.

Though he knew how fast that could change.

If this turned into a fight, it would get messy. Players would be fine. The surrounding buildings? Not so much.

One of the many reasons that players campaigned for strict regulations inside Geartown proper.

“Put your scrapheap away,” one of the Geartown players demanded.

She was a younger woman, hair in twin tails. Her outfits comprised a flowing magic robe covered in Pegasus silhouettes. With her hands covered by her sleeves, he couldn’t tell if she was using the messaging system.

He hoped not. This didn’t need to turn into a report for the Developers.

“I can’t, I told you.” The scrapper gestured towards the machine. “I’m trying to get it off the road.”

His tone of voice made it obvious this wasn’t the first time he’d tried to explain this.

“We told you we don’t care.” A foppish man in a suit moved forward. A handkerchief dabbing at his brow. “Though I’m not surprised a Scrapper doesn’t know about basic etiquette.”

That got a laugh from the other Geartown residents.

Jester sighed and looked at Happy Hour.

“Are you going to be ok if I sort this out?”

Her helmeted head turned towards the tank. After a second, she nodded.

“We shall not back away from danger. Though this duel shall be settled with words on this day.”

“I hope so too.”

With a deep breath, Jester pushed into the crowd. People muttered as he shoved them aside. That stopped when Happy Hour made her presence known. She didn’t push anyone, or anything similar.

The sheer presence of her did the work. An armored knight, that sounded like the ocean, was something players avoided. Those that didn’t recognize her, Jester assumed, thought she was a rich player.

One that spent a lot of time and money cultivating a look.

If that was the case, it wouldn’t be worth antagonizing them.

Any that knew her gave her a wide eye’d look. Too stunned to do much as she passed them. Either way, it was effective. Which meant, before long, Jester stood near the argument.

He cleared his throat and did his best to put on a smile. Even as Happy Hour positioned herself closer to The Geartowners side.

“Hey, I’m Jester. I’m a representative of The Scrappers Union. For those of you who don’t know, we sort out problems around here. What seems to be the issue?”

“He’s blocking the road with her junk bot, that’s what.” The woman said, her sleeves shifting as she talked. “We want to get through.”

“Right, and you?” He directed towards the Scrapper.

“I’m trying to get back to my log off spot.”

“So it seems you have a mutual goal. What seems to be the actual problem here?”

“He won’t move to let us pass.”

Jester watched as the foppish man pointed a finger at the bot.

“It seems to be it would be easier for your smaller party to move in this crowd than him and his gigantic machine.”

A scowl crossed the man’s face. “Move for a Scrapper? Never.”

He could see the owner of the chimera-tank’s expression darken. This needed to be resolved, and quickly. If they didn’t, it would turn into a fight. Pegasus dress could pull a robot out of her inventory without hand motion.

With how she was moving, he wouldn’t put it past her.

“Tell you what. Why don’t I show you the back alleyway to get to The Junkyard?” Jester suggested. “A quicker way. It’ll get you away from the crowds.”

“You could do that?” This came from another member of their group. Shy and quiet.

“I can.” He smiled at the younger man, who looked away. “Better than this, right? Shall we?”

Before they could answer, he was moving towards away from the main road. Happy Hour moved with him, and a single look over his shoulder showed she wasn’t the only one.

Good.

Perhaps he could even get some answers out of them.

They moved through alleys, backstreets and once or twice a collapsed building. He could hear their complaints, but he never slowed his pace. I would be fine. At one point, they needed to wait for a street to clear, so he turned to the shy man.

“Hey, sorry. I didn’t get your name?”

“Henry.” His voice was quiet and unaccented.

“Nice to meet you, Henry. Can I ask you something?”

“Ok.”

“Why are you heading for The Junkyard? Would have figured you could buy your own robot.”

Henry looked at the rest of the group. All of whom weren’t paying them any mind. Instead, they focused their attention on the crowd. Though the foppish man threw an occasional glance at Happy Hour. A frown on his face, as though trying to remember something.

“Loot drops. You can fight the weird robots, and sometimes you get gear from it. Plus, these weird coins.”

“Coins?” Jester frowned. “Not credits?”

“No. Some event coin. Intergalactic disks.” Henry gave a small shrug as he spoke. His hands clasped together.

“They are really going all out for this event. Let me guess, beating the Chimera-bots is the only way to get them?”

Henry nodded.

“Gotcha. So I was right, there’s going to be a trader.”

Jester let out a sigh and motioned them forward. More twists and turns, and then he could see Gero. The NPC was collecting what appeared to be an endless supply of coins. Players paying the toll without care.

“Here we are.”

“Thank you Jester,” Henry said.

The others didn’t even acknowledge him as they moved towards the gate. Jester didn’t let that bother him. He watched them go as they moved into the throng of people. A part of him wanted to join them.

To see what it would be to fight one of those creatures. Maybe collect some of those coins.

However, he didn’t. That wasn’t for him. Whatever this update was, he didn’t need to get involved. His focus was The Cups. That, and getting Whiskers back.

“Come on, let’s be heading back.”

More shouts sprang up from the sea of people. This time, he ignored them. Gero could sort them out. Plus, there were other armbands in the crowd. These worn by people he recognized.

With that many Scrappers Union members, nothing major would happen.

And if it did? Jester doubted he’d be able to do much.

Nor did he want to put Happy Hour into any fights where Chimera-bots could be involved. Without knowing the effects, the risk was too great. So, he turned and started back the way he came. They needed to go see Kylee. Work would call again soon. He wanted the preparations done before it did.

Happy Hour followed him, though from the corner of his eye, he could see she wasn’t paying attention to him.

Her focus never left The Junkyard. Whenever a robotic roar filled the air, he saw her hand clench.

She was worried about what was in there.

That made him even more determined to talk to Kylee.

He’d help her through this. No matter what it took.

***

“I have no idea.”

Kylee didn’t look up at him as she worked on a beam cannon. The request was by a client, who apparently wanted to build a Mech. Some purple monstrosity from an anime Jester didn’t know.

She’d discussed the project at length as Happy Hour once more changed into her maid uniform.

The biggest thing he’d gotten from it was the guy was happy to pay upfront.

That thrilled Kylee as it mean less chance of them quitting the game or flaking on her.

It’d taken a bit to get her attention back on track after Happy Hour returned. When he finally got her to discuss the virus, he’d not gotten the response he desired.

Though he couldn’t say he didn’t expect it.

“What do you mean, you have no idea? Not even a guess?”

Jester did everything he could to keep the annoyance out of his voice at the question.

From the way Kylee stared at him, he knew he didn’t manage it. Still, her look softened. She knew it stemmed from worry, not malice. It wasn’t until he’d spoked that he realised how much he’d been banking on her knowing.

To have the information that would solve everything with a few words.

Not that his reasoning mattered. She didn’t deserve to be subjected to it.

“Did you expect them to give me an instruction manual on this?” With a wave of her hand, she gestured towards Happy Hour. “She’s a bugged robot. Or whatever she is. Different to any others. I doubt RagerSystems designed this event with her in mind.”

With that, Kylee returned to her task. The welding torch running over the side of the cannon as soon as her mask was once again in place.

Jester knew it wasn’t anything close to real welding. Still, it was fun to watch the sparks transform themselves into stars and other shapes in the air. If there was one thing RagerSystems put effort into, it was crafting.

They needed to keep the players hooked and buying raw materials, after all.

“I know. Sorry. I figure you might have at least heard what happens if a pre-update bot fights a post-update one.”

“Someone’s tried it, I’m sure.” Her shrug turned into a stretch as she started a new section. “They haven’t been talking about it if they have.”

Jester turned to Happy Hour. She was standing on her tiptoes as she waved to Lugathin. The massive robot was staring at her. One of its arms twitching as it kept the beam cannon in place.

“That sucks.”

“She’ll be fine,” Kylee said. “Look, I have some information to take your mind off this.”

Jester found himself relax a little at the words. Any sort of distraction would be nice.

“That would be great. What do you have for me?’

“Well, information first off. Masky dropped off the outfit for Happy Hour.”

He paused and studied Kylee. With the welding mask in place, it was impossible to tell if she was smiling or not. However, something in her posture made him wary. If one could laugh with a gesture, she was doing it.

“It’s nothing skimpy, right?”

“Oh no, nothing of the sort.”

The laughter was in her voice now.

“If anything, she’ll be the most covered robot at the event. At least if Dam13n’s stories are anything to go by. He also said he knows who you’re fighting.”

“Good to know. What about the outfit, though?”

That earned him a full-blown giggle. She placed her torch aside and pulled up her mask. Her smile was on full display. A shiver ran through him at that. This was going to be embarrassing.

“What about the outfit, though?” He asked again.

His words came out quieter than he would have liked. Kylee’s grin widened at that.

“Well, they kept their word. It’s going to be a rabbit. However, we’re past the normal holiday for it.”

With those words, something in his brain clicked.

“Really?”

She laughed, which caught Happy Hour’s attention.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh, hey Happy Hour.” Kylee waved. “We were talking about your outfit.”

“Did Masky drop it by?” Jester watched as Happy Hour lowered herself, before turning towards them.

“He did. Plus, I made the weapons for it. Which would you like to see first?”

She directed that question at Happy Hour, even as her attention remind on Jester. They still showed signs of mirth. He knew it didn’t matter. There were no good options.

Happy Hour paused as though to think about it. After a few seconds passed, she gave a small nod.

“It would only be right to see your handiwork first. What with the hospitality you’ve shown us.”

“Oh, sure. Though it may not make much sense.”

Jester took a step back, Happy Hour following suit as Kylee rose to her feet. She moved to a nearby table. With a sweep of her hand that reminded Jester of a showman, items appeared.

It took all he could manage not to groan.

What appeared first looked like an explosion of spring. Flowers and brightly colored ribbons decorated the wicker basket. Inside of which sat a collection of large oblong shapes.

He didn’t need to think hard to know what they were.

“Eggs.”

“I told you I was going to go a more explosive route this time.” Kylee smiled at him. “I even bought some cheap paints and brushed. Thought you might like to decorate them.”

“You have to be joking. They have to be joking.”

“Oh no, they are quite serious.”

Kylee’s tone was on the edge of a giggle fit. One more thing would push her over the edge. Happy Hour supplied it.

“Jester, what do eggs have to do with rabbits?”

At that, Kylee lost it.

She howled with laughter as Happy Hour stood nearby, looking confused. Jester sighed, as he did his best to explain the concept of the Easter Bunny. A story not helped by Kylee’s frequent giggled interruptions.

When she finally calmed down, he asked to see the outfit.

With another wave of her hand, it appeared on the table next to the weaponry.

“No.”

The word was out of his mouth before anyone could say a thing.

“Jester?” Happy Hour was looking at him. “I don’t see the problem.”

“That is a fur suit.” He turned to Kylee. “You see that, right?”

“They said it was a mascot costume.”

He looked at the full bodysuit of the table. The design was of a humanoid rabbit. One that wore a green, pink and yellow floral dress and a straw sun hat. Two white and pink ears poked out from the top.

Its fur was a pristine white, and the wide staring eyes were a bright green. A smile graced the costume’s face. Which made it looked perpetually happy to be there.

If nothing else, it would be a hit with any kids in attendance.

Not that any of those would be there for the Dollhouse fight. Digital or not, it was easier to keep the minors out when alcohol was being served.

That way, RagerSystems couldn’t use the place as a scapegoat if a parent group complained.

“I think it’s cute,” Happy Hour declared. “May I try it on?”

Kylee nodded enthusiastically.

“Oh, for sure. Don’t worry, I’ve checked it. No signs of the virus. You’ll be fine.”

Jester couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief at that news. He wouldn’t have put it past them to try something like that.

“In that case, I’ll be right back.”

She draped the costume over one arm and took the basket with the other. From there, she wandered deeper into the warehouse.

“I can’t believe this,” Jester muttered as he watched her leave. “Doesn’t this defeat the point?”

“How so?” Kylee asked.

“Well, they wanted this fight to help boost their streamer’s popularity, right? Use us as a way of grabbing attention. I figured they’d want her to be more recognizable.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Masky said something about it being a brilliant contrast for who they’re having you fight.”

“And who are we fighting?” Jester returned to his seat as Kylee made her way back to the beam cannon.

“Some ninja chick? Their name was overly long.”

He froze, as he remembered what Dam13n had told him all those weeks ago.

“Do you mean Unlit Shadow Ninja of Deep Lore?”

“That’s the one.” She flashed him a thumbs up.

Jester supposed it made sense. If what he knew about the other Androids’ clothing was accurate, it would be a contrast. Still, he shook his head. A part of this must be about making them look ridiculous.

Little but petty revenge.

All that, however, dropped from his mind as he heard the slam of metal from further into the warehouse.

***

“Happy Hour?”

Jester was on his feet as Kylee shifted away from the beam cannon. She tore off the welder’s mask, but didn’t drop the torch. A rumble from Lugathin came from overhead, as another one of its limbs came into view.

There was no response to his question.

Beside him, Kylee raised a hand. A signal to tell Lugathin to wait and be ready. If someone was stupid enough to have broken in, they’d regret it. He knew firsthand how scary the giant robot could be when it decided to be.

However, if it was nothing more than a clumsy customer, no point starting anything.

The sound came again, this time coming closer.

He frowned at the sound. It wasn’t the smashing of something coming off a shelf, or someone bumping into a pile of equipment. This was a solid section of metal hitting the ground. Though there was something else too.

Whatever was hitting the ground was being softened.

That was when the first glimpse of white and pink fur came into view.

A sigh escaped his lips. Kylee was looking on with a mixture of wonder and laughter. Around the corner, Happy Hour bounded into view.

The basket hung over one arm, the other resting atop it to prevent it from jostling about. When she saw them staring, she stopped. One paw raising in a wave of greeting.

“Heya all!”

A smile came over him at the sound of her voice. None of the harsher military tone from the sea dragon armor was present. This one was light-hearted. Filled with the sort of exuberance carried by children and highly paid entertainers.

It was the type of voice anyone could find in a third-rate carnival or theme park.

Bother of her long ears twitched as she waited for a response. Her large pink nose followed suit, even as the eyes continued to stare blankly forward. That made him wonder. He’d seen the suit. It didn’t have any kind of mechanical components to let her do that.

Jester decided it was easier to not think about it. Strange code wasn’t his forte.

When the silence stretched on, one of her large feet slapped against the ground. The sound started up again. Metal being softened. So it was her, which Jester put together to mean she’d probably been jumping over.

As though she could read his mind, she bounded into the air.

Kylee’s eyes tracked the basket as Happy Hour rose and fell. None of the eggs so much as appeared over the rim of the basket. Her sigh of relief was audible.

That worried him, and made him wonder if he needed to put those away. They shouldn’t be able to go off without being tossed. However, if the game registered Happy Hour dropping one as an attack? Things might get messy.

Plus, he didn’t want Kylee to put him on the hook for repairs. Those types of bills could get expensive.

“Hey Happy Hour. How do you feel?”

“Bouncy!” She laughed and started to dance.

It was a simple thing. A few simple shuffling steps a child could follow along with.

He smiled as he watched it. Laughter bubbled up inside of him, one that he didn’t bother to contain.

If he’d been whoever the partner of Unlit Shadow Ninja of Deep Lore was? Well, he’d probably find this type of opponent insulting. Then he paused and thought about it. Perhaps not. The more he watched her, the more other characters came to mind.

While fighting games weren’t his genre, he knew about joke picks. The type of hidden characters that weren’t good. However, they often wore strange or ridiculous costumes.

Which, he supposed, was exactly what Happy Hour was. A joke character. Plain and simple. The type that people loved to watch, even if they lost.

Dam13n agreed with his DoA comparison when they’d spoken about this Android. Whomever the mastermind behind this was, he wasn’t giving them enough credit.

His laughter seemed to trigger something Happy Hour. Her dance stopped, and she clapped her hands.

“I’m glad we’re all having fun!” she shouted out. “That’s eggscellent!”

The pun made him wince. He knew without a doubt there would be more during the actual fight. Beside him, Kylee laughed at his reaction.

“It’s good to see my basket suits you,” she said between giggles. “How do you like it?”

Happy Hour bounced again.

“I love it. Thank you!”

Jester shook his head at the exchange. A thought coming to him.

“Debrah and Madame Merriam are going to flip. Do they know about this?”

Kylee shrugged. “If they do, it didn’t come from me.”

He tried to picture their most likely reactions. As representatives of both businesses, they would need to know about this. All he could think of, is that they’d yell a lot. Madame Merriam would be the worst.

If they were lucky, she wouldn’t request any sort of altercations. No point annoying the kidnappers by changing their plans.

As he pondered, Happy Hour moved again. It was like she couldn’t keep still. If not dancing, she was pacing. When not pacing, she was bouncing. He wasn’t the biggest fan of the suit; it made him less uncomfortable than the sea dragon one.

Though powerful, her stillness unnerved him.

This outfit made her seem far more alive.

To him, Happy Hour existed to move. To shift around and be in motion. Even when she was acting as an impassive maid, her hands or eyes never stayed still.

“Well, that conversation is going to be fun,” Jester said. It was an attempt to tear his thoughts away from the upcoming arguments. “What can you tell us about our new weapons?”

“Her eggsplosions?”

“Do not.”

Kylee beamed at his dirty look, but she continued unabated.

“Fine. Small explosives. Two types. One of them I’ve set up to work on a timer, and the other is impact. Neither will go through anything with a high defense stat. However, I doubt that’s something we’ll need to worry about.”

Jester thought about the outfits he’d seen on the Androids at the club and nodded.

“How many?”

“At the moment, about five. I should be able to get her up to twelve on the day. As your only opponent, you won’t need to be sparing.”

Relief filled him at that statement. For a small while, he’d been worried Debrah would make him fight in the entire tournament. From that, however, it sounded like this would be more of an exhibition match.

It would have been awkward if they’d lost before they got to the required fight.

Both of them turned to watch as Happy Hour leaped into the air. Her ears wiggled as she landed.

“This fight will be the hoppening place to be.”

Jester groaned.

Kylee slapped him on the back.

“Oh, brighten up. Want to hang out here and paint the eggs up while I work?”

For a moment, he thought about what he’d have to do if he left.

“Yes, please.” He turned to Happy Hour. “Would you like to change, or help as is?”

She glanced down at the overly large paws.

“I think I might change.”

As she left, he settled down and picked up a paintbrush, his free hand taking the basket.

It wouldn’t hurt to start on some designs.

After all, they’d need to differentiate the bombs before the big day.