Shadow of the Self

Chapter 21 - Shadow of the Self

Andros spent the rest of the day in mourning, quietly locked away in his small attic room with Yukiko. Her presence helped ease his nerves, or more so, helped distract him from his grief. The sun had set, casting their small room into darkness. A small lantern illuminated the desk across from the bed, where Yukiko still lay sleeping, her naked body gently rising and falling with every breath.

Despite Yukiko’s insistence, Andros couldn’t bring himself to sleep. Something about Xue’s murder didn’t sit right with him. He refused to believe it was just bad luck. Even without her deck of cards, Xue was still capable enough to not let some back alley thug get the better of her.

Pricking his thumb with a small needle, he slowly filled an inkwell with drops of his blood. Talai wasn’t the only one who had knowledge of blood magic. Once the well was filled, he gathered a small stack of unmarked cards. The sun had set, and the moon shone brightly outside. The cards themselves shimmered with a thin silver light, indicating they were ready to be imbued with magic. He set a heavy leather-bound tome on the desk and flipped through its pages before marking his intended destination with a single drop of blood.

Written in old archaic scrawling was an ancient spell forbidden by the mandates of the Eternal Enclave. SPEAK WITH DEAD. Most forms of necromancy and nearly all forms of magic dealing with the soul were banned by the Enclave. The Druids had toppled entire nations for meddling in the affairs of the dead. Any magic that would dare alter the wheel of life and death was a profane threat to all souls, living or dead.

The tome itself was one of the items Tendo had found washed up with him. The bindings themselves were enchanted to resist water damage, and its contents contained numerous spells and rituals of varying legality. He didn’t know why Tendo didn’t have it destroyed, or even why he let him keep it. Perhaps he didn’t want to destroy one of the few possessions he had which connected him to his old life.

Andros didn’t even think the spell itself was that bad. Sure, it was risky in the hands of an amateur, but Andros was anything but. It involved tearing a soul away from the roots of the World Tree and temporarily forcing it back into its old body. Then, the caster would have the opportunity to ask the soul a number of questions before it would inevitably be swept back into the wheel. Perhaps if they were quicker, they would have been able to do the same for Yu, but the time limit for that had long since passed.

He transcribed the spell into the card, taking extra care to make sure each rune and line matched before heading towards the window. Pushing it open, he felt the cool nighttime air rush into the room. Andros held the card out in his palm, letting the moonlight above shine on it. He watched as the card slowly began to hover a few inches from his palm. He took in a deep breath and focused his mind on the card, transferring a piece of his mind into it. As the moonlight struck the runes etched into the card, it began to glow a sanguine red, then slowly floated back down onto his palm.

Perfect.

He carefully slid the card into his deck, and decided, just to be safe, to inscribe a backup. Once both cards were successfully inscribed and infused, he snuck out of the room and made his way towards Xue. Thankfully, he found the door unlocked and Xue’s body still in the same place as the last time he saw her.

Andros pulled the SPEAK WITH DEAD card from his deck. Taking in a deep breath, he stood next to the body and closed his eyes. The card radiated a thin crimson glow as it hovered away from his palm and towards her body.

“Xuefeng…” Andros spoke softly, his words echoing out slow, muffled by the sound of his breaths. Sweat slowly dripped from his brow and he felt himself begin to shake with anxiety. “Heed my voice… seek justice for the crimes committed against you… let the truth echo free from your soul.”

He clenched his fist, and the card slowly burned up, turning to ash, which then rained upon Xue’s body. Her body twitched, the cherry blossoms which covered her eyes falling free. Andros gasped when he saw her face… her eyes were completely burned away. Replaced by an empty black void. Was this the spells doing? No… it couldn’t be…

Her body slowly floated upwards, limbs twitching in a seizure-like motion. Andros nearly panicked, his heart racing as he flipped through his old tome. Did he mis-interpret the spell? Did something go wrong during the inscription process? Part of Andros wanted to end the spell right now, but he considered if this was intentional. Forbidden magic did tend to have this kind of disturbing aesthetic.

A thick, black, oily substance began to ooze from her eye holes. Xue’s body twitched more violently now, and these same substances slowly began to ooze out of her nose, mouth, and… what he assumed were her sweat pores?

This is wrong…

Andros snapped his fingers, cutting the spell off and causing Xue’s seizure-like convulsions to cease. The body fell back onto the bed. However, before Andros could utter a sigh of relief, the oily-like substance which oozed from Xue began to flow towards the floor. It coalesced and began to take shape. Without a second thought, Andros held his arm out and conjured an arcane crystal that quickly shattered into a volley of magic missiles. Each of the missiles hit their mark, however, the goop appeared to just reform around its wounds.

The pool quickly coalesced and took the shape of a worm-like bulbous torso. Its head morphed and took the shape of Xue’s face, eyes black as night, with oily tears streaming down her cheeks. It slowly began to pull itself out of the pool, tearing one of its arms free, which resembled a long pulsating chain of sinew. At the end of the arm was a sharp spike, which shot forward at Andros, threatening to impale him.

Andros pulled free another card, summoning a spectral scimitar which sliced through the arm as it came towards him. The spike flew off to the side, impaling itself into the nearby wall. The creature wasn’t deterred, and instead wrapped its arm around Andros’ torso, and pulled him in. The floating scimitar rushed forward to free its master, but was instead intercepted by the creature’s other arm, which still sported a large sharp spike.

The creature began to suffocate Andros, its grip around him growing tighter and tighter and it began to pull him down into the pool of goop. Andros tried to wriggle his arms free, to grab one of his cards, but found himself trapped as he and the creature slowly sank into the ground. Xue’s face shoved itself right in his vision, face stained with black tears.

In the corner of his vision, he saw a faint shimmer from the real Xue’s hand, which now dangled off the edge of the bed. Her ring, which held a glistening sapphire gemstone, slipped from her finger and into the goop. As inky blackness took his vision over, and he felt the substance seep into his nose and lungs, he was suddenly struck by a vision.

A snowy tundra… a mountain of corpses… the twang of trebuchets, the crashing of boulders, the clashing of steel. The world around him breaking into a thousand little pieces as a knight’s blade is pierced through his chest. His body was suddenly wrapped in chains, pinned to a large boulder in the middle of a raging blizzard.

“Promise me…” He heard Yukiko’s voice echo throughout the raging wind. “… you’ll still be here to share these adventures with me…”

“Memories… we can make new ones together…”

“Yukiko…”

He saw a large wolf-like figure slowly walk towards him. Its fur was a pale silvery-blue, and its eyes were like large glistening sapphires that gazed into his soul. “Will you allow yourself to be chained to your past?” The creature spoke in a feminine voice, deep and motherly. “To cling to an identity that is long gone?”

“I…”

“That is what your research is for, isn’t it?” The creature asked. “To discover yourself. To find out who you truly are… it was this obsession that pushed Xue away from you. That drove her to suffer under the Admiral’s thumb…”

“Is that truly wrong?” Andros asked. “To try to discover who you once were? To reclaim a life lost?”

“At the expense of those who care for you?” The wolf asked. “You have been given a new beginning… will you squander it for old memories? Or will you keep your promise and strive to make new ones with the people who care about you… with the people who love you?”

“I…”

“Andros!” He heard Yukiko’s voice echo from the sky, followed by what sounded like knuckles pounding against wood. “Where are you? Andros!”

Yukiko…

“Andros, you promised! Please…”

“Damn the past…” Andros murmured. “Damn the past! There’s a future out there waiting for me!”

The wolf nodded, twisting its canine jaws into something that resembled a smile. “You have taken the first step, Andros. I am you… and you are me… I have answered the song of your soul… I am Asena, my child… let us claim the future together…”

One of Andros’ chains shattered, freeing his arm. The wolf stepped forward and reached out to him. Andros stretched his arm out towards her, breaking free of his vision. Suddenly he was enveloped in radiant moonlight. He saw the abomination before him, Xue’s distorted face twisting and turning, unleashing a bloodcurdling scream which shook the corrupted waters around them. Like paper, the moonlight burned away the creature until it was no more, freeing Andros as he frantically began to swim upwards, towards the thin ray of moonlight that guided him to the surface.

The way up was a difficult one. Swimming through a substance this thick was nearly impossible, but Andros was determined not to give him. With every inch, he felt the pain in his chest burn brighter, his vision growing more blurry as he felt himself drown.

Not like this…

He nearly felt himself give way, but saw a pair of hands reach down to grab him.

“HEAVE!” Came the muffled voices of Akaja and Yukiko as they dragged him out of the puddle of muck. Andros gasped for air, then coughed up a lungful of the sludge as he collapsed to the ground. Behind him, the spectral silhouette of Asena burned away the puddle, leaving the room as it once was.

“You… BASTARD!” Yukiko wrapped her arms around him tightly. “What did you do? Why did you do it by yourself? You made a promise! You almost… you would’ve…”

“I’m sorry…” He said with a cough. Reaching over, he returned her hug. “And I intend to keep that promise…”

“Uhm…” Akaja motioned wildly to where Asena had just appeared and faded away. “I don’t mean to interrupt but… YOU GOT ONE, TOO?”

“Huh?” Yukiko turned to look at her friend.

“I just saw a shiny magical wolf appear, then disappear!” Akaja exclaimed. “Like my Morrigan! And Kazzy’s serpent-thing!”

“Right…” Andros sighed. “I owe the two of you an explanation.”

An hour later, the trio sat themselves down in Andros’ room. Yukiko and Andros sat together on the bed, while Akaja sat on a chair across from them. As Andros caught them up to speed, Tendo came upstairs and served them tea.

“It sounds a lot like what happened to me,” Akaja said, gently blowing the steam away from her cup. “You’re at a breaking point and it seems like all hope is lost… then the ‘other you’ comes and sparks something inside of you. I don’t even know what to call them… they have names, but what are they exactly?”

“Shadows of the self?” Andros mused. “Both Morrigan and Asena claim to answer the song of the soul - whatever that means.”

“And now you both have special powers!” Yukiko said, clinging tightly to Andros. “I just wish they came under better circumstances. Do you think if I have a near death experience I’ll get my own shadow?”

Andros chuckled and shook his head. “Divines… I hope it doesn’t come to that. At least in myself and Akaja’s case, they came about because of our proximity to similar artifacts. Akaja with my-“

“Not yours,” Akaja added. “Mine now.” She grinned.

Andros sighed. “Her orb… and Xue’s ring.” He set the ring down on the nightstand. “Perhaps that’s why the Admiral wanted them. Maybe he’s trying to induce shadows onto loyal followers?”

“Or empower his own…” Akaja mused. She set her own orb on the nightstand too. Despite the clear difference in size, they both held similar characteristics. Both were made of crystal, and both had a strange image displayed within them. Akaja’s orb displayed a roaring tempest, and Xue’s sapphire not displayed a crescent moon, which matched with the current phase of the moon in reality. “Actually… Yuki? Don’t your parents have artifacts like these?”

“Oh, right!” Yukiko blushed. “About that…” She set a large green gemstone on the nightstand as well. Though the image wasn’t as clear as Andros’ or Akaja’s artifact, there appeared to be an ever-shifting and changing forest inside. “My mother gave this to me not too long ago. She said it was her ‘guide’ for a long time throughout her adventures, and she felt it was time to pass it on to me. My father has one too.”

“Do your parents have shadows?” Andros asked.

“I don’t know… maybe it’s time I ask them.”

“And so far each of us has one of these artifacts…” Akaja grinned, then took a sip from her cup of tea. “You think we should find one for Kuana? Maybe even Tendo?”

“Would that even be a good idea?” Andros blew on his cup of tea. “You know what it takes to call one of these shadows to you.”

“Well, it did save both of our asses…” Akaja shrugged. “Maybe just giving an artifact to them would be good protection? In emergencies? Plus… if there are more out there, then wouldn’t you prefer us to have them instead of Kazzy?”

“I suppose you’re right,” Andros said, sipping on his tea. “And there’s still the issue of Xue’s eyes and my spell failing. I double-checked, and the spell was inscribed perfectly. The phase of the moon shouldn’t have had a negative effect on it either.”

“I remember my mother saying that a person who has their eyes burned out like that has also had their soul taken…” Yukiko mused. “I know it’s not a pleasant theory, but I’m sure we can confirm it if we call a Druid in to do her rights…”

Andros’ muscles tensed at the mention of the Druids. Yukiko appeared to sense that something was wrong, and gently pressed her hand against his chest, feeling the rapid beating of his heart.

“Is something wrong?” She asked.

“No… I just get nervous around druids, is all… I don’t really know why. Maybe my past self had a bad run-in with them.”

“If it helps…” Suggests Akaja. “Me and Yuki can handle the druid.”

“No,” Andros said. “I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Yukiko asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Of course,” Andros smiled. “So long as you’re there with me.”

“Alright, then…” Akaja stood up and stretched her legs. “We have a plan for tomorrow, then. Meeting with the druids?”

“We still need to arrange a meeting with the Pallid Lady,” Andros said. “I’ll speak to Talai about that tonight. So add that to the list.”

Akaja groaned. “I hoped you would’ve forgotten about that… fine…”

“And I’ll go fetch Kuana in the morning!” Yukiko added.

“Get some rest, you two…” Akaja said, making her way towards the exit. “Especially you, Yuki. Give the poor man a break.” She winked.