Chapter 0:

Perfection

Love Does Not Exist in This World!


"Kobayashi-kun!"

"I..."

"I..."

"I love you!"

"Please go out with me!"

"!"

"..."

"Oh... Is that so?"

Wait a minute...

Wait what...

Wait whaaaaatttttt!!!

Now I know some of you may be thinking, how on earth did I end up here in the first place? 

Well...

What can I say? 

I am a popular guy, this is just a regular occurrence for me.

Haha.

Hahaha.

Ha...

I lied. 

The truth is...

I absolutely have no idea. 

I am just an average guy, with average height, looks, and grades. Nor do I have many achievements in life. Well, apart from the participation rewards I got from doing sports day at elementary. I also live a comfortable family life and have lots of friends.

Maybe I should rephrase the last bit about friends. 

I am not Mr Popular in class but I do have friends I socialise with. 

I think that's still not clear. 

I have few offline friends and lots of online friends.

There I said it!

I am an advocate of... 

Quality over Quantity! 

I met these online friends of mine through a gaming platform called Thiscord. We haven't really met each other face to face in real life but we regularly communicate through voice and video calls. But we hope to do a meet-up soon. 

Most people would oppose the idea of being friends with strangers online and ask the question...

Why are you friends with strangers online?

Well...

Why not? 

What's wrong with being friends with strangers online? 

Human beings are social beings, built to interact with anything within the fields of their surrounding.

Maybe not so much myself. 

But the main takeaway from this is, humans interact with someone new daily without any problems, well almost everyone. And If we go as far as Adam and Eve then we can all deduce that we are all related, can't we?

Contradictions! 

I can fully understand the concerns over 'Stranger Danger' especially when you have those strange Thiscord mods in large gaming servers preying on underaged users. 

But it isn't all like that! 

I can promise you.

There is more to it than just creepy Thiscord mods. 

There are people that...

Understand you.  

Feel the same as you. 

Share the same interest. 

Subdue the feeling of loneliness. 

It's almost no different to friends you have offline, the only difference is that friendship online is more cultured. 

Besides, the word 'friend' is overused these days. 

People only realise who their real friends are once their so-called 'friends' start shedding their true nature. 

Friendship, well, almost any relationship, is formed on the basis of the give-and-take mechanism. Where both of the parties give and expect something back. But when one of the parties fails to give back, it all comes crumbling down. That then marks the end of a relationship.  

So, who cares what people say, whether you have friends online or offline, just enjoy what you have.

"..."

Oops.

Completely forgot about the confession!

Let me rewind back...

It was like any other regular school day, I entered the school gates and proceeded to change my shoes near the getabako at the front building. Out of habit, my hand reached for my shoes without the need for visual assistance. It has become a muscle memory you could say. But the contact my hand had felt was nothing like the texture of school shoes. It felt very firm like a flat surface.

CRUNCH. 

There was a crunching sound as I pressed my fingers on it, almost like paper. I tilted my head upwards, towards the location of my shoes. 

And there I saw...

A white medium-sized envelope. 

Upon curiosity, I picked up the envelope.

Red.

A red seal, located right at the centre of the envelope, it wasn't just any seal, it was a red seal with a shape of a heart. 

"..."

For the past 15 years since I came to this world to wreak havoc, I have never ever seen such an envelope so vividly. 

I have only seen glimpses of it in anime and around the school before. 

But never like this.

Is this what you call a...

Lo...

Lobu...

Love Letter? 

A burst of emotions suddenly broadened my mind, I was unable to process what had just happened. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief and pinched my cheek to verify if this was all just a dream.

10 seconds later...

The pain in my cheeks did not subside. 

"..."

Wait.

It's real?

"..."

It's real!

Let's go!

My time has finally come, now begins the start of my popular phase.

'Here we go!' ~ Caprizio Bromano.

"..."

But wait a minute, what if this is all just a prank? 

I do not mean to be sceptical but there is always a chance. They could be hiding around the corner right now, waiting for my reaction just to post it on PikPok for fun and laughter. That would spell the end of my little social life. 

Hahaha...

Maybe I should read the letter first before being emotionally unbalanced... 

"..."

Well here goes nothing.

I removed the red seal and opened the envelope, and inside was a pink letter folded up. I unfolded the letter and the letter read as followed:

xxx

Dear Kobayashi-kun,

I hope you are well.

I have something really important to tell you today. 

Please meet me at the top of the school once your final lesson has ended.

I apologise for the inconvenience.

But I will be waiting.

Kind regards,

Girl A

xxx

"..."

Okay...

This is 100% an authentic Love Letter!

Dad...

Your son is finally winning. 

I screamed in joy, almost too loud. My scream resonated similarly to that one weird red octopus character from a cartoon show called Venturerama. This also raised the eyebrows of the surrounding students. I could see the expression of disgust coming from some of the girls. 

Well, all I can say is...

Screw you normies! 

Your boy just got himself a love letter, so feast your eyes on me with jealousy. 

As if I would ever say that! 

I felt very embarrassed, quickly I hid the love letter in my bag and ran towards my classroom. I was feeling jubilant overall, but there was still a feeling of uncertainty. 

First of all...

Who was this Girl A? 

She did not leave her name.

Nor did she leave any clues. 

Yet she knows my name. 

The list of possible culprits remained endless, it pretty much contained every girl from all classes and years.

Does her name start with A? 

Or is that signifying the grade of the classroom? 

So many possibilities...

At such moments as these, that one little kid with glasses would have said...

One Truth will Prevail!

During the lessons, I could not concentrate on a single word that came out of the teacher's mouth nor perceive the contents on the board. My gaze was solely fixed upon the clock, all I could hear was the sound of the clock ticking down. My mind was deluded with hypothetical scenarios, inspired by the scenes in anime. My middle school life was also coming to an end which meant plenty of exams on the way. Ideally, I should be concentrating but there was priority elsewhere today. 

The last lesson of the day eventually came to an end.

I anxiously waited for the homeroom teacher to spout the words that would dismiss us all. 

"Hey Hayate, wanna go play football after school? Almost the whole class is playing"

A classmate had invited me to play football after school. I would accept it, but not today...

Not today. 

I am not the most athletic or skilful player in football but I play enough to get the job done. My favourite professional football team is London FC from the UK, and this season has not been the best for us with 0 trophies and mid-table standing. But I have high hopes for the next season with the arrival of a new manager. 

"Ahhhh, sorry man, I am a bit busy today, maybe next time..." 

I replied with resistance. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make.

"Class dismissed!" 

The homeroom teacher's words signalled the dismissal.  My eyes glared towards the doors, I got off my chair ready to dash off.

"Alright no worries man, we gonna play again tomm-..."

Before my classmate finished his sentence, I ran towards the exit and left the classroom. It's important to be early if you have something important. Experts advise people to be 15 minutes early to a meeting, but I say be 30 minutes to 1 hour early. It may seem like an outstretch but it really helps you prepare rather than being overwhelmed last minute. 

And today that is not the case, our homeroom teacher usually dismisses us very late. 

I am already 15 minutes late!

I hope I am not keeping her waiting. 

"Well... I guess he has something to attend to..."

"Never seen Kobayashi-kun that eager to leave the classroom."

"Sensei, I think I saw him screaming hysterically this morning, maybe that's something to do with it."

"Hmmm. I hope everything is okay. Must be the upcoming exam stress. I should probably talk to him tomorrow."

My classmates and homeroom teacher were stunned in bewilderment by my behaviour. 

But it is, what it is.

I hopped over the stairs, skipping over 2 to 3 steps each time. I never knew my body was capable of such a feat. After a while, I could feel the pain in my legs growing, and my stamina diminishing after each hop over the stairs. My mind was solely focused on one goal, to reach the rooftop, which helped me shrug the pain aside temporarily. 

I guess this is what people really meant by 'If you set your mind to it, the impossible becomes possible'. 

If only I applied this to other aspects of my life... 

I reached the door of the school rooftop after hoping over five floors. I was breathing intensively, trying to catch my breath. I guess this made up for the football session today. I observed the door, it was closed with no locks. It was unclear if Girl A was waiting on the other side of the door.

It was a like a...

Schrödinger's Door!

It was time to find out. I took a deep breath and opened the door. The powerful sunlight flared through my face, blinding my field vision. I covered my face with my arm and with my limited field of vision I saw a slender feminine figure with their back against me.

"..."

The identity of Girl A was...

A pretty girl.

"..."

So, it was a girl after all.

I observed her thoroughly. 

She had...

A long black ponytail. 

A slender body.

Short-sleeved white shirt, long grey skirt, and black stockings

She turned around upon my arrival. 

Her face was truly...

Beautiful.

Glossy lips. 

Plum cheeks. 

And most of all her eyes were...

Enticing.

"..."

Is this really Girl A?

Did I arrive too early?

Maybe she was waiting for someone else?

Should I leave?

What should I say?

The doubts started to surround my mind like wildfire. My mind refused to accept that there was such beauty waiting for me on the rooftop. Her beauty could be easily classified as a national treasure of this school. Her appearance even reminded me of my favourite waifu character Kakao from the mobile game Waifu Lane. 

"..."

"Kobayashi-kun! 

"I..."

"I..."

The girl spouted out a name nervously and began to fumble her words. Her voice was very soft but I could sense the uneasiness in her. 

But...

Wait a minute.

She mentioned 'Kobayashi-kun'.

"..."

That's my name! 

I looked behind and around to make sure that she wasn't talking to anyone else. 

It was only two of us, alone on the rooftop with a clear blue sky and a warm sun. Birds were chirping and soaring around. The scenery felt almost too cliché. 

Was this the true identity of Girl A all along?

"..."

"I love you!"

"Please go out with me!"

"..."

Did she just... 

Confess to me?

"..."

"Oh... Is that so?"

The words came out of my mouth abruptly.

My mind was unable to comprehend her words.

"Yes, I love your personality and what you do."

"I have seen you around the town helping everyone. From assisting helpless mothers carry their baby buggies up the stairs to helping elderlies carry their shopping bags." 

"It wasn't just one time." 

"Every time I saw you, you would be doing such things and always smiling."

"I fell in love with that smile."

"You probably don't remember well."

"But..."

"There was an old lady you helped once, she was carrying a lot of bags full of gifts. That old lady was my grandma who was bringing gifts for my birthday. When she got home, she told me there was a kind young man by the name of Kobayashi who had helped her and that the kind man goes to the same school as me. After researching around the school, I finally found out it was you." 

"I knew it was you. Who else?"

"Your kindness was something I fell in love with."

"I love you Kobayashi-kun!"

"..."

"Ah."

Wow...

I really got confessed.

My mouth was wide open, dumbfounded by the confession, not only was I confessed but also showered with compliments. To think people could fall in love in such mysterious ways, love really has no boundaries. But it's true what she said, I feel inclined to help someone who is in trouble. My heart expresses the urge or arrays an uncomfortable feeling that pushes me to help. 

It's my natural tendency. 

I am not as great as she perceives me to be, I only assist when I see someone in trouble, and I do not blindly assist people. It was all just lucky timing that she saw me in those situations.  

"Umm." 

"My name is Sato Emi. Final Year. Class A."

"Please to meet you!" 

Sato Emi. 

A fitting name for a beautiful girl like her. 

What was there to lose? 

Sato-san matched my preferences. She looked like a school goddess. She did not fall in love with my appearance either but rather my personality. And based on the conversation we have had so far, her personality seems beautiful too. 

There could be only one option from all this.

I should accept her confession. 

"..."

"I..."

"A..."

"Aaa..."

The words failed to escape my mouth.

It was just two words.

But even so, I could not finish my sentence.

Somewhere in my heart...

I felt...

Unsure.

How could this be?

I felt thrilled to be confessed by Satou-san, but now I felt unsure. 

Almost like something was missing in Sato-san. 

What could it be?

"..."

My eyes proceeded to find defects in her appearance. 

What I had initially seen completely differed from what I saw now. 

"..."

She looked a bit too...

Slender.

Lacking the volume in certain areas of her body.

Her teeth were ever so slightly crooked at the front.

Her hair was a bit frizzy. 

These were all unnoticeable defects to the regular eye which most people would pay no mind to. After all, no one is perfect in this world, and I am sure a lot of guys would have accepted Sato-san's confession already. 

But no matter what it is.

For me.

I have found that I always... 

I always seem to chase for...

Perfection.

"..."

I could not let Sato-san wait for a reply. 

She mustered up all her courage just to speak to me. 

Now it was my time to say something. I did not want to tell her a pleasant lie nor a painful truth. I wanted to give her a clear answer, but my heart and mind were in conflict. 

"Uhmm..." 

"Kobayashi-kun?

What do I say?

"...

"Sato-san!"

I nervously shouted a reply.

"Yes!"

"I'm honestly happy that you confessed your love to me."

Sato-san's face began to glimmer with a smile.

"But I'm just not sure how to feel." 

"Sato-san, I'm very sorry!" 

"I can't provide you an answ-"

Before I could finish my reply, Sato-san skimmed past me towards the door, I only caught a glimpse of her face. Her face started to flow with tears, she was heartbroken by my reply to her confession.

What have I just done?

Is this what you call...?

Rejection.

I was this close to accepting her confession and the next day we could have easily been a lovey-dovey couple. 

Now it's all gone.

"..."

The next day...

Sato-san walked with her friends across the school corridor.

"..."

What do I say?

Should I apologise?

"Hi, Sa-..."

She walked by me without a single glance or exchange. It was as if nothing had happened yesterday, as if everything was just a bad dream. 

More days passed by, and never did we interact again, not even once.

The end of middle school life was finally here, we both graduated and went towards our respective high schools. I applied for a high school near my area, as for Sato-san, I never saw her ever again. 

Before my first day in high school, I made a goal to find someone that my heart would finally accept. 

But oh how wrong I was. 

Three years later... 

I graduated from high school. 

Never did I find anyone nor did I accept anyone who showed a glimpse of affection. 

I was filled with regrets and questions. 

What if I had accepted Sato-san's confession?

What would the timeline be like?

If only I could redo my choices all over again...

Further three years later...

I graduated from a mediocre university with a degree in Technology. My first year was accumulated with only miseries as I piled myself with regrets after regrets from high school. I managed to overcome it eventually. I guess this is what you call transitioning to an adult. After all, people do say to make the most of your school life or else you'll regret it. 

I realised that far too late.

And now I have entered the real world as an average office worker salaryman with no love history while also trying to find the true purpose in my life. 

Maybe my Love Does Not Exist in...

This World!