REMAID- What's Been Lost

August 28th, 2023

Sirens, loud as church bells, fill the late afternoon cityscape. A strange feeling fills my heart. I feel my throat, still stinging from the rope that I’d wrapped so tight around it earlier. The rope is probably still hanging on the fan. Silently, I curl up on my bed. I can hear them getting closer and closer. Somewhere in the house, my dad is bringing mom down from the ceiling. She was hanging so limply, but I’m sure she was playing. Maybe once he finishes laying her on the bed, she’ll wake up, and we can get pizza. Dad said we would, but he’s always so forgetful with his promises. Mom has to remind him of everything. Honestly, the guy needs to get a planner.

You know, I really like pizza. Pepperoni and black olives taste really good. Mom likes banana peppers though, so we always have to put them on. It really annoys me; she chooses the pizza toppings to be selfish over. Anyways, who the hell likes banana peppers? They’re gross, they’re slimy, and, worst of all, they’re too sweet to be spicy and too spicy to be sweet. But, if mom wakes up, maybe we can talk about finally just putting them on half the pizza. She’s so stubborn about that. It’s weird, especially when she’s so quiet about everything else…I feel really down. Maybe she’ll tell me a joke.

Ma, wake up already. Ma…please wake up.

###

August 31st, 2023

It’s late afternoon. The clouds are gray, making the sky a vile sight. If it’s gonna be gray, have the decency to rain. I shake my head. My disappointment is truly immeasurable. Taking out my phone, I go into my contacts and find it bare of any numbers besides my dad’s. Memories of when it was so much larger taunt my tired brain. I wanna say something stupid like ‘not now’ or some shit, but who talks to themselves? Weird people, and I’m not weird. I don’t think I am anyway. Maybe that’s how all weird people think. Do weird people think?

I hit my dad’s number and let the phone ring. Seconds pass by, but no one picks up. I’m met only with the dull sound of a robotic voice telling me, in the kindest way possible, to go fuck myself. What a rude robot.

“Go die robot.”

Ah, shit, I bet I look weird now. I pocket my phone. It’s not like he’s gonna call back. Maybe it was too much to hope he’d want to talk. I bet he’s still drinking in the study, whispering what sounds like witches curses. Maybe they’re for me. That would be a surprise. Or, maybe it should be expected.

Hey, Yuta, did you know your mom died?

Yeah Yuta, I did, thanks for reminding me.

The same interaction with myself repeats, on and on, as the train begins pulling into the platform.

Yuta Yuta! You should jump!

Ehh…that sounds like a mess for the cleaners. They probably wouldn’t get paid extra for it either.

The train begins to slow, and I grab my luggage tight. Silently, I wish the city I’ve known since I was 8 farewell. As I walk onto the train, I know it won’t miss me.

###

Sitting in my seat, I pull out what I know is going to be a good read. The Hellraised Soul. Short, horrific, and an easy way to lose track of everything else. Sounds like heaven right about now. I crack open the cover when I hear, from a few seats behind me, a pair of women’s attempt at speaking quietly. Simply put, they suck at it.

“So, Malikawa village. Have you heard of it?” One of them brings up a place that piques my curiosity. Malikawa, that’s where I’m headed. I remember it from when I was young even. What kind of drama could possibly be there? It’s a pretty average town in the middle of nowhere, not some celeb hot spot. I casually cover my face with my book, listening intently for the next words to come out of this lady’s mouth. “It’s one of the stops on this train, and supposedly, they have some Ryuga’s there!”

“No way, the Ryuga’s?!” The other woman whisper-screams the name and I can feel the atmosphere of the train go still. Ryuga? What do I remember that name from? It must be popular if it’s got this whole car silent and listening.

Ryuga…Ryuga…

Oh shit! Ryuga Munitions! The guns and ammo people who basically took over the industry worldwide! No way, there’s a couple of those guys in a village like Malikawa? How the hell did that happen? The news almost has me as giddy as those old ladies. I’ll be upfront, it’s not the fact that rich people are there that has me so worked up. Just the thought I’ll be able to talk to people who are usually so elusive is incredible to me. I bite my tongue. If they knew, they’d be so jealous of me, I know it.

Hey Yuta, did you know your mom’s dead?

Yes I did Yuta…you really need to stop shoving my nose in that.

My happy mood fades away, replaced by a neutral feeling. I don’t know what it means to look and act neutral about the death of a family member. I mean, I know I loved my mom. Just, I can’t seem to dig out of myself any emotional reaction besides a total reset. Am I a robot? If I am, then fuck me too I guess. Ugh, now I’m in a bad mood. I cross my arms, looking out the window, letting the car live out its shared fantasy of rich people, whatever it may be.

###

The train comes to a halt, and the door’s to the outside open. I take my luggage and, after taking eons to get into the walking lane because people refuse to wait a single second, I arrive at the steps and then the train platform. I take a deep breath, and all the memories of a childhood long past comes to me. For a moment, I bask in those sweet days of long ago. As I’m about to come down from my memory high, however, I see two figures standing on the platform with their eyes trained on me. One is an old lady, wearing a light green sweater and jeans. The other…is a maid. Long flowing red hair and eyes as shining and green as emeralds capture my heart in an instant. What makes it better, however, is the outfit…she looks so fucking hot in a maid outfit.

I do my best to quell the raging beast inside of me as they begin to walk over.

“Oh, my grandon, it only took you ten fucking years you little shit!” I feel the arms of the old woman wrap around me as I immediately recognize her from those words. Old? Sailor mouth? That’s my grandma.

“I missed you too grandma.” I kiss her cheek and hug her back. “Now, um, grandma, do you mind me asking who this is?” Pulling away from the hug, I awkwardly motion to the maid right next to her with my hand.

“What, trying to screw my maid as soon as you get here? You’re shameless, but I love you, so I'll go ahead and tell you. This girl is Mina, and she’s my caretaker during the evening.” My grandma waves her hand about as if it’s a truly dramatic reveal. In response, Mina bows, holding the sides of her uniform in a proper curtsy.

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance Master Yuta.” Mina says to me, her soft and gentle smile warming my heart.

I need her.

###

Since it was so late in the day by the time I got here, I was served dinner from the most bizarre shaped Mcdaniel’s I’ve ever seen and left to put myself to bed. Not an issue, really, it’s not too hard to turn off the lights and collapse in a bed. Walking through the door, I find myself in a perfectly clean room, the only things in it being my suitcase, a bed, and a desk. I stare at my luggage. As I stare at it, I suddenly get a cold sweat coming down my back. In my hazy memory of packing to come live here, I don’t really recall how many clothes I grabbed. I reach down, unzip the bag, and find my answer. Inside of my suitcase are exactly seven uniforms and a sweatshirt. The rest of the space is a few school supplies being crushed by four stacks of books. Only the necessities with me, hehe…I’m going to jump out that window right now.

Yuta Yuta, you should do that.

Agh, shut uuuuup!

I lay down in my new bed, feeling tired as sin. Whatever, screw a shower, I can always do that tomorrow. For now, I just gotta rest.

Rest, and the voice will quiet.

Rest, and for the love of god, don’t make me dream of her.