Usual Last Words

"ah, my phone's ringing, sorry I need to take this"

The usual parting words I hear from them, or at least an excuse along those lines. The first few times I'd be left with a slither of hope, I'd wait maybe twenty minutes.

I'm sure you can guess, they never returned. I knew better now. I'm not sure if it still hurts when it happens, but I tried to tell myself at least I'm trying. That thought used to make me feel better, but now I feel more along the lines of 'what else could I have spent that time doing'.

Despite that, I can't stop.

It's like an addiction, an addiction to hope, an addiction to romance, the thing I want so bad, and wish I didn't. 

"would you like the bill, sir?" 

I simply sighed and nodded, not just my time, but my money, once again wasted. 

I started using dating apps the moment I turned 18, it was an exciting prospect, people that you'd pass by everyday but never have the chance to meet you could finally connect with, opportunities that would never usually arise, anything could happen! 

That's the naivety that will slowly crush you. Romance has been murdered brutally by this technology people seem to love, maybe I'm just not 'with the times' but short flings and one time things aren't my ideas of romance. For two years now I've stuck with it, in hopes that one day I'll be proven wrong, some crazy part of me gets my hopes up everytime I get one of those notifications.

'you've got a new match, Don't leave them waiting, send a message!' 

Despite the inner monologue I just gave you, I pulled my phone out immediately to see who it was...