Nightmares of the Past - Final

That day marked our 6th-month anniversary, and I was held up from a group project I was in. Naomi-san and I have been steady for a while now, and we have already started living together during our second month. At first, I was hesitant with the idea as I didn't know if I could share the same roof with someone else, but she convinced me that it would be convenient for both of us if we lived together.

"So, Tobe-kun, how is your relationship going so far?" Tsuyoshi-kun asked.

Tsuyoshi Rei was beside me during the dinner when I first met Naomi-san. Since we are in the same classes, unlike Naomi-san, we mainly work together on group projects, and he's the first friend I made during my first year in college.

"It's going pretty well, Tsuyoshi-kun! Would you know today marks the sixth month of Naomi-san and me going out together?" I told him bashfully.

"Hmm... I see," he responded, colder than I expected.

His response bothered me as he looked away and made no eye contact. At that time, I should've known better.

Well, these are all in the past now, and I can do nothing about it but watch everything fall into pieces from this nightmare I am having.

After that exchange that I had with Tsuyoshi-kun, I went to look in my phone and saw a mail from Naomi-san saying:

"I will be home late again tonight. I got a group study with my classmates and might be back late, so feel free to have takeout or eat out tonight. Sorry again, Tobe-kun."

She also had her group study yesterday and came home around 2 in the morning. I get that the exams are nearby, but I wish she could've stayed tonight to celebrate our six months together.

"Oh, okay. I understand. We can just celebrate tomorrow, then." I replied as I hid my disappointment.

She quickly replied, "Ok", after what I told her, and never contacted me.

"You're alright, Tobe-kun?" Tsuyoshi-kun asked me.

"Oh, yeah. Why did you ask?" I responded.

"It's just that after looking at your phone, your shoulders suddenly dropped, and you look sad," he explained.

I tried my hardest to smile sternly to show that I was okay.

It's alright, I thought to myself. She said she'd be there to celebrate with me tomorrow.

"Hey, did you hear about that rumours from last week?" one of our classmates begins their usual gossip.

"Oh, you mean that slut from Commerce class? The one with the video leaked by the boys in her class?" another classmate added.

Commerce class? That's the class Naomi-san enrolled in this semester.

"Apparently, she's doing it behind her boyfriend's back. And would you know, she apparently did it with five seniors in her class," the gossip continues as my hands start to grow cold and numb.

Enough. I don't even want to imagine it. Group study? I shouldn't doubt her. I shouldn't.

"Poor boyfriend, I heard he's from the same class as us," the gossip started to spread around, and I stood up, stopping everyone from talking.

I excused myself before the class even started. I heard Tsuyoshi-kun reaching out to me, but my head was too filled with thoughts I didn't want to describe. All of it seems wrong. There's no way she would do that to me. She promised me. She's my first love, for god's sake.

I rushed to the toilets and realized that Tsuyoshi-kun was right behind me.

"Tobe-kun, are you feeling sick?" he asked me as he avoided himself to make eye contact.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I'm sick of people spreading rumours around me as it ruins my mood." I explained myself to him.

Tsuyoshi-kun started fidgeting his hands as if he was trying to tell me something.

No, you don't need to say anything. Based on his reactions and desire to let me know of it, I know something is up, and I don't want to hear it.

"About that rumour, it's, it is Naomi-san, I fear." he declared in front of me as he continues fidgeting around.

"Huh?! What do you mean, 'I fear', huh?! Are you making fun of me or something?!" I begin to lose control over myself as I start to spout nonsense in front of him.

"N-n-no Tobe-kun. Actually, I was invited to a 'group study' by one of our seniors, the one from the dinner. It was seven guys that night, and only Naomi-san was in there. I backed out as soon as I realized the situation I got myself in, but I'm sure it was her. I tried to tell you four months ago, but I got too scared because I didn't want to ruin your relationship with her. You seemed happy together, and I don't want to ruin that." he explained lengthily.

"You're making things up, Rei! I told you not to joke around like that, right?!" I yelled as I drove my fist into his face.

When I hit him in the face, I ran away and went directly to "our" home, hoping for her early return. She might've heard that I punched him in the face and rushed to "our" house to see what was up. She should be. There's no way. There's just no way.

Those lines of thought surrounded me as I clutched my knees, sitting in the corner of our bedroom. Times passed by, and there was no sign of her.

Oh yeah, that's right. Today is our sixth month together. I bought a cake yesterday so I should put it on the table and light it up as I wait for her.

I brought the cake out, placed it on our dining table, and lit the candles in the middle. I ordered this from a fancy bakeshop that is trendy to girls in our class, and I spent about 57,000 yen for this whole thing as I wanted this celebration to be something special. Dusk passed by, and there was still no sign of her. Right, she's on her group study.

Suddenly, as I was sitting in the chair before the cake, she arrived but not alone.

"Just keep quiet; he should be asleep this time," she whispered.

She opened the lights and was surprised to see me at the dining table with a cake in front of me. She was not alone, though, as three other men followed after her with one familiar face in it. The same senior who arranged our dinner during the orientation week.

"Oh, you're here," I told her with dead eyes and a cold voice as if my soul left my body.

As soon as the other men saw me there, awake, they started sprinting away to avoid getting into a mess between couples. As for her, she starts walking towards me, and tears begin to form in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry. They made me do it." she cried with crocodile tears running down her cheeks.

"Uh, whatever. Go grab your things now and leave first thing in the morning. If you're still here, I will call the police for trespassing." I responded to her fake tears with a cold response.

"But please, give me a second chance. I am very sorry; this won't happen again." she continues begging for mercy.

I didn't exactly know what to feel at the time, but all the negative emotion stored within me was gone like a supernova happened inside me and, in turn, formed a black hole in it. I just felt nothing. No tears, no anger, nothing at all.

So this is what love is supposed to be? If that's what it is, I don't want any of it.

Time passed, and she moved out of our place, making it all empty without any signs of life. I skipped the rest of the semester, telling the school I was severely sick and making them reach out to my parents to look and see if I am doing well. I told them about it and said I didn't want them going after her because I didn't want anything to do with her again. At the end of it all, another year passed, and I heard she moved into a different guy, doing the same thing again. As for me, I closed myself off from anyone once again and spent the remaining years of college alone, just as always.

Ring! Ring!

I woke up from the past nightmare to face the suffering I am facing in the present.

I thought to myself, what can I do about this situation I was in this time?