Back To Reality

Kritvik Bhatt

“I… couldn’t even stand up for myself!”

“Yeah, that turned out to be another crying night.”

“No doubt… I’m a complete loser.”

The moon was shining brightly in the night sky. There were no stars around it—just the crescent moon. The apartments lay silently beneath that moon, gazing at its beauty. The window of my room was dark from the outside. Inside, from the window, one could easily see my figure covered with the dark blanket in the middle of the darkness. Between the shades of black lay my figure, my back on the top, beneath the blanket. My face was sunken into my pillow. My arms were around my head.

“I’m a loser…” I whispered to myself as I lay, crying silently. Tears ran down my eyes and wet my pillow. I then snorted in. I twisted my head to my right, looking at the window covered a little by the dark green curtains beside my bed, going all the way to my desk. “I’m… such a complete fucking loser, man…”

Sana’s smiling face when we were walking down the crowded market streets in the evening appeared before my eyes. I noticed the shine in her golden studs, with strands of her soft black hair falling over her and her cheek.

“How can I… such a complete loser… be the perfect one for her?” I thought. “I can’t even protect myself. How… will I ever stand up for her… and help her when she needs me?” My eyes were red. I silently took breaths in and out, with my chest moving in and out a little beneath the blanket. “No doubt, I won’t be able to help her when the time comes. I… can’t be like this…”

I imagined Aaryan and me standing face-to-face in between a void. It had no edges. It was pitch black. My eyes were frowning in anger. Aaryan was smiling devilishly, with the right edge of his lips way higher than his left. I then moved up my right hand and waved it forward at him in a punch.

“I’m gonna beat him up. No matter what. I’m, at least, gonna land a punch on his face. Maybe that much would help.”

The figure of me then lying on the ground appeared in my mind. Sana was standing behind me, scared at the devilish glance of Aaryan at her.

“And… if she’s ever in trouble… then even if I’ve… I’ve already lost everything I had…”

My figure then moved its back up, and then straightened it, and then balanced up on top of its legs. The legs were bent, the arms were powerless, and my back was bent to the front—all beaten up.

“I’ll fight desperately… and with all I’ve got. Then, maybe, I’ll be able to defeat him. No doubt at it. I’ll beat him.”

“BUT WHY AM I EVEN THINKING ABOUT SANA, MAN?! WHAT IS SHE TO ME?!”

“For some reason, she just can’t stay away from my daydreams, huh?”

***

I sat at my usual seat in the classroom—the center front desk. My eyes were narrowed and dark, tilted down to my desk as I chewed my meal. The sunlight was coming in from the windows on the left of the classroom, warming up my left shoulder. There were just about a dozen other students scattered into two-three groups around the class. They had rearranged chairs as they liked, and were chewing up as they laughed and talked. I didn’t give a damn and continued to focus on my own meal. The corridors too were filled with such people standing with their colorful lunchboxes in their hands. My surroundings were filled with the indistinct chatter of chews and laughs.

“For some reason, I didn’t want to face Sana that day. And I didn’t even try to talk to her. My mind was fixed on one thing…”

“Aaryan… I’m gonna fucking beat him up, man… No matter what it fucking takes,” I thought, my mind filled with rage, but my face simply eating food alone.

Suddenly, just as I was eating my food, for some reason, I heard the faint voice of Sana. I turned my head up to my right at the entrance, and noticed her talking to someone. The two figures were walking to me, and I turned my head down as they walked past my figure. I turned my head to my left, looking at the two of them walking to the edge of the room and then turning to their left—in toward the desks. I turned to my food again. “Yeah, maybe I was just a proxy friend or some stuff to her, a replacement for Kavya to pass time.” I thought, my head tilted down. “She’ll neve—”

Bang!

“What’s up with you today?!” Sana had bumped her right hand just beside my lunchbox, which jumped up a little. I turned my head up front at her frowning face. “Why do you look so depressed today?”

“Nah, nothing,” I replied in a low tone and turned to my food again.

“Like, you’re acting like one,” She commented as she frowned her eyes questioningly. “Really nothing happened?”

“Y-Yeah,” I stuttered. I then turned my head up at her, trying to change the topic. “Was she Kavya?”

“Yeah, she was,” She replied as I turned my head to my food again and took a bite in. Sana then walked to my left, took out the wooden chair from the desk beside me, and sat, facing me. “We’re cool now, anyway.”

“No doubt,” I replied with my eyes on my lunchbox, taking another bite in and chewing it.

“But, why are you sitting here all alone?” She asked worriedly.

I smiled. It was a smile filled with pain. “For some reason, I have no one to talk to. And I’m not even in the mood to talk.”

“Why? What happened?”

My smile faded as I turned my head down. I took another bite in and started to chew. I chewed it for some seconds as Sana waited for an answer, worriedly looking at me. I then gulped my food down my throat, turned at her, smiled, and replied, “Nothing much, man. I’m alright.”

She narrowed her eyes irritably. “Then why did you make me wait so much?”

I turned to the front, shrugged my shoulders, and then turned to the food, about to take another bite. I smiled again. “Wanted to make suspense, maybe.” I took the bite in.

“Yeah yeah.”

I was smiling as I ate the food. I gulped in. “And don’t worry about me, man. I’m just like this.”

“Really, you are,” She commented. She then stood up. “Okay, I gotta leave then. Kavya might be returning from the washroom.”

“Bye bye,” I said as she turned back and started to walk away. I turned my head up to my right and looked at her walking outside the door-frame. As she was walking away, I thought, “No doubt, I’m nothing to her… But, it’s good that she didn’t find out about that stuff.”

***

Aaryan Khanna

Akshay, in front of two more of his gang members, was walking down the narrow alleys of the city in the middle of the night. The three walked out on an empty street, turned right, and continued to walk. The three wore the same combination of their white shirts outside their black tight jeans, with sneakers beneath them. They were all dark-skinned.

***

“Leave Akshay,” Vikram commented and he put the vape between his lips again. He sat on top of the metallic bench at the edge of the park, with bushes behind him. Vikram’s well-built arms sat on top of the backrest of the bench.

The park was not well-lit, and all one could see were the shades of black. He was surrounded by some others—some stood beside him, some sat beside him, and some sat on the grass a couple of steps away from him. A couple others were vaping too as they heard him. Everyone was in white shirt and black pants.

“I bet he’s up on something,” Sooraj commented, standing on his right, his arms folded in front of his chest.

“Yeah, that asshole isn’t even picking up calls,” I irritably added. I sat on the left of Vikram.

“I heard from some students of his school that he’s not even selling our shit now!” Another one said.

“What?”

Everyone was tensed and shocked. Vikram, for some reason, was still sitting silently on the bench. “That motherfucker is gonna pay for it. I bet it’s because he lost the elections.”

“Yeah!” Some random guys shouted.

“We gotta take him in hand,” Someone commented.

“Like I said, leave Akshay for now,” Vikram said. He then turned to his right at Aaryan. “Where’s the new guy, Aaryan?”

“Dunno, pal,” I turned my head to the front. “That asshole should have been here by now.”

“We need him if we gotta continue our business. We’ve already lost a school–one-fourth of our market–and we can’t afford to lose more customers. Make that motherfucker understand the urgency of our situation.”

“Yeah, Vikram,” I turned to him. “I’ll make sure I’ll beat the shit outta him.”

***

Akshay walked inside the park where a gang of members—all in the various shades of black and red—sat in a circle in front of a bench. The people around the asshole at the center were either standing or sitting on the ground, all tensed. There was absolute silence in the whole empty field, except for some construction noises from the cranes and drills a couple dozen steps on their right. Akshay and his guys had cricket bats resting on their shoulders.

The guys of the gang turned to their back and looked angrily at the approaching figures. Some of the guys from the center walked sideways, making way for the leader—sitting on the bench—to take a look at them.

Akshay dominantly walked to the guys and stopped some steps away from him. Akshay, with a huge devilish grin on his face, said dominantly, “Y’are the leader of the Sons of Satan, Amit Bhatnagar, right?”

Amit looked at him dominantly. He had skinny but muscular arms, his eyes furious. “And ya seem like one of the Black Reapers, Akshay.”

“Good thing ya recognize me, fucker.”

“Whaddya want from me?”

“Let’s chat peacefully. But, in short, I wanna kick Vikram’s ass.”

Amit, who was angry up until that point, suddenly smiled. “I guess I know why y’are here.”

***

“What’s the name of that motherfucker, by the way?” Vikram asked me.

“Kritvik. Dunno his full name,” I replied.

Vikram then turned his head from me to the front. He moved the vape between the first two fingers of his hand to his lips again. “Make sure that motherfuc—”

“There he is, pal,” I said as I pointed out to the front.

Everyone turned to their back and looked at the skinny figure of that asshole, standing a dozen steps away from them, beneath the darkness of the trees beside the entrance. His chest moved up and down a little.

Clomp. Clomp. Clomp.