With Her Own Hands

“Yes, that is indeed my name, little mousey~” Amelia grinned. “Now, are you finally done with running?”

“I-I’m not sure what you mean, Dame Amelia...”

“Oh, you know... These little meetings with Lord Levant and all this hiding in your room. You don’t really need them, do you? You’re just using them as a shield so you can keep running away from the truth.”

Viviane lowered her head, obscuring her face from view. “T-That’s not true!”

“Oh, but it is, isn’t it?” Amelia continued, stepping forward and backing Viviane against the door to her room. “All this time, you’ve locked yourself away just so you don’t have to deal with the truth. The truth that, no matter how many times the sun rises, no matter how many times you open that door you’re so desperately leaning against, she’ll never come to greet you.”

“P-Please stop, Dame Amelia!” Viviane could feel a lump grow in her throat. Although she was trying her hardest to hold them back, tears began to form in her eyes.

“You can only run so far, mousey.” Amelia thrust both hands forward, slamming them against the door and trapping Viviane between them. “You can only run so far until you’re trapped, just like this. And then what will you do? You have to face the truth, Viviane.”

“N-No...!”

“She’s not your knight anymore.”

In the end, Viviane couldn’t hold it in any longer. Teardrops stained the carpeted floor beneath her, and the sound of her sniffles filled the hallway.

“W-Why are you doing this, D-Dame Amelia!? W-Why!? I t-thought...! I thought we were—”

“Friends?” Amelia laughed. It was an ugly sound unlike her usual perfect laughter that flowed smoother than liquid moonlight. “I don’t remember making friends with such a pitiful girl.”

N-No... T-This can’t be the real Dame Amelia! She was so kind... so nice and... and personable!

“Oh my, are you crying? How scary! Whatever shall I do!? I’m sure Medrauta will be rather upset at me... Oh, wait! She’s not your knight anymore, is she?” Amelia’s lips twisted into a cruel smile as she gripped Viviane’s chin and forcefully jerked her head up. “Cry all you want, mousey. She’s not here to protect you anymore.”

Ah... Nothing’s changed at all... What little light left in Viviane’s eyes vanished as she gazed into the crimson depths of Amelia’s eyes. I’m alone again...

“Do you understand now? You are worthless. Your only value was in the knight who stood by your side, but now she’s gone. Did you really think that Lord Levant wanted to stop these meetings merely because he is to be married? Of course not. It’s because there’s no value in helping you.”

Viviane remained silent and unmoving in Amelia’s grip. The more Amelia spoke, the more she understood her helplessness. Her uselessness. Indeed, everything that Amelia said was correct. There was no denying it.

Viviane fell to her knees as Amelia towered over her.

The black-haired knight stared down at the blonde noblewoman, the cold look in her eyes reminding Viviane of the tone Princess Gwenhwyfar had used during the last seconds of their match.

“Indeed. The weak should kneel before the strong. Stay there forever as you wallow in self-pity, dreaming of the life that you have lost.”

“W-Why are y-you doing this to me...? W-What do you w-want...?” Viviane sobbed.

“Isn’t that what you should be asking yourself?”

“H-Huh...?”

“Did you really expect Medrauta to show up and solve all your problems if you cried?” Amelia laughed derisively. “Did you really think that if you locked yourself behind a door, she would knock on it so long as you waited?”

Viviane stared up at Amelia through teary eyes, unsure what to say or do. Her trembling lips could offer no words, and her arms hung lifelessly by her side as teardrops ran freely down her cheeks and onto the ground beneath her.

“Of course not,” Amelia said with an air of finality. “If there is something that you want, then you must seize it with your own hands.”

“With... my own hands?”

The knight nodded, her black hair glistening as deep orange sunlight streamed through the windows. “That’s right.”

“B-But... What should I do? H-How can I... How can these weak hands of mine ever grasp what I hold dear...? I’ve... already let go once...”

Amelia stepped back, turning away as she did so. “So long as the weak persevere, even they can hold on to that which they love. But that perseverance is something only you can find.”

“A-Ah! P-Please wait, Dame Amelia!”

But the knight would not wait. Amelia strode through the hallway, her back perfectly straight and her eyes looking ahead. The only response she had given Viviane was the fading sound of footsteps as she descended the stairway.

Left to her own devices, Viviane leaned against the door behind her, still collapsed on the floor. Her dress was wet with tears, and so was the carpet before her. She sniffed once more as her tears slowly abated. Yet, she still could not find the will to stand.

I’m... such a mess. And Dame Amelia... Why did she tell me to seize what I wanted? What was all that about persevering? Did she not come just to look down on me...? Ah. I’m so confused.

Viviane remained in that position for what seemed like an eternity. Before her room she sat, contemplating the depth of what she’d lost, and the unfathomable pain that came with it. Her heart ached to see the silver-haired knight that would wash away all her worries with nothing more than a simple smile.

She longed to hear the brusque, yet still dignified words that sprung from Medrauta’s lips. The curses that she would utter whenever their attempts at resonating failed, and the laughter they shared when they declared that they would simply try again.

Those moments that she had treasured were now lost to her. She would never be able to take them back.

And so, Viviane closed her eyes and wept alone again with nothing and no one for company but that closed door and the walls around her.

The next time she opened her eyes, it was to the blinding light of the morning sun. A new day had come, and she found herself still there, collapsed before the door to her room. No one had bothered waking her up, but she already knew that would be the case.

She was insignificant. Incompetent. Garbage.

But it didn’t have to be that way.

As she looked upon the rising sun through the hallway windows, she finally understood what Amelia meant.

Ah... It’s just like that old fairy tale...

In ancient times before the empire was even founded, it was said that there once lived a witch hunter who fell in love with a witch. Though they loved each other deeply, their love was forbidden by the jealous Witch Queen.

As punishment, the witch hunter was made to become the sun, even as the witch was cursed to become the moon. Yet their love never wavered, and once a year, they would be reunited in a beautiful eclipse.

Yes... It’s just like that. Even though we may be separated now... I will reach you one day, Medrauta!

Slowly, Viviane lifted her arms to wipe away the last vestiges of the tears that she had shed even during her sleep.

And at last, she stood.