Episode 1: Part Three: The Sky from Below

The chaos and confusion soon settled and everything returned to being quiet enough to hear water dripping down the cave walls. The area where our food had been had become kind of like a living room area for us. I sat cross-legged across from Adrianna with Vanilla in between us. Mona insisted on being left alone on the opposite wall.

“You were so bright, Rami-chan!” Vanilla’s eyes were wide, “Like a pink star!”

“It was quite the sight to behold.” Adrianna confirmed.

“Uh, well, I don’t really feel any different.” That was sort of a lie. I felt tingly all over, my fingertips were bursting with energy. I felt powerful in a way I’d never felt before.

“Still, you must be something special. You ingested the same amount of white stuff as Nill-chan, but your glow was so much more intense.”

It probably wasn’t a good move to tell them that’d I’d been blessed by the god of this world, though she did say to trust my sisters. Speaking of, none of us looked at all alike, we all had different hair colors and faces and body types, the only thing the same was our brown eyes.

“Adrianna-oneesama-”

Adrianna let out a squeal. “Please, just Adrianna!”

“Adrianna, how have you been doing things up till the point?” There was no beating around the bush, I was new here and it appeared everyone else was too. I don’t know where they came from but it seemed as though Adrianna was the first to arrive, and I had to know how she had been surviving in this cave. And where did the food come from?

“I don’t know what you mean. I woke up and everyone else was still asleep so I spent some time going through that bag over there. There was a blanket, so I put that over Mona-chan and Nill-chan, and then I took a nap. When I woke up, I noticed you beginning to stir, and after that…”

“What I want to know is what did you do before you woke up?”

Adrianna was incredibly perplexed by my question, was I actually speaking the correct language, everything sounded like American English to me but maybe there was some translation skill at play that wasn’t on my status screen.

“I’m not sure I understand.”

It was my turn to be perplexed; what was the issue here? Was she an amnesiac?

“What about you, Nill-chan, where were you before you woke up?”

“Oh, I, uh, I wasn’t anywhere? I didn’t do anything! I’m sorry?!?” She began to panic as though I was accusing her of something. Her persecution complex was something.

“Okay, I’ll rephrase, where did you grow up?”

“Grow up? Here. Were you somewhere else? Oh, no! Are you older than me?!? I’m so sorry, please forgive me, Rami-oneesan!”

“No, I… hang on…” She said she grew up here and Adrianna doesn’t seem to understand what I mean either.

“Succubae are born balls of mana and spirit and slowly mature over the course of several weeks.”

I suddenly recalled something the goddess had said. I’m an idiot, it’s like I was born yesterday, in fact I was born today and so were these other three. I studied Adrianna… what is with that?

“I’m just a bit confused is all” I have to walk this back carefully, “I’m sorry, I really should be apologizing. I lied when I said there was nothing wrong. I think I-”

“The mother passes down some amount of genetic memory along with language and what some might call, purpose.”

“I think something’s wrong with me, there’s basic things that I feel like I should know but I don’t. I think I was born wrong.” This was the perfect set up. If I admitted to something akin to memory loss then I could get these girls to fill in the blanks for me, “Will you help me?”

There was a moment of silence followed by Vanilla’s loudest wail yet, “I’m sorry! I’m so, so, so, so, so, so, sorry! I think I have the same problem. I just can’t remember anything! I shouldn’t have kept it a secret! I’m a failure.”

Adrianna bowed her head, “I too am deeply sorry, I am plagued by the same affliction. I have no inherited memory. I’ve simply been following your lead, Rami-chan.”

“Wait, so none of you know what’s going on either?” I looked toward Mona to catch her staring at us, she immediately turned back around with a “hmm” as if to pretend she had nothing to do with this conversation. It was safe to say Mona was in the same boat.

“That’s…” This was trouble. If Aphrodite knew what she was talking about then that meant all of us were in danger. We had yet to venture outside our cave so it was hard to say if this was a common occurrence or not; I would lean toward not. At the very least this will make us stand out, and probably in a bad way. I needed to educate them but I also couldn’t let them in on the fact that I’m a reincarnation. How could I explain my knowledge?

“What do we do?!? We were just born and we’re already failures! I’m so sorry! It’s all my fault!”

“”No, it’s not!”” Adrianna and I both shouted in unison.

“I actually found something that might be helpful.” She held out her journal. “I found this in the bag over there.” She flipped to the beginning to reveal writing that wasn’t hers. That bag.

“Adrianna-sa – Adrianna, Where did you find that bag in the first place?”

“As I said, it was there when I came to.”

“And the food?”

“A woman came in and dropped it off not long after I awoke.” She twiddled her thumbs a bit, “I instinctively hid the bag when she came. I don’t know why I felt protective of it, but I couldn’t help myself. It felt dangerous leaving it out in the open”

I picked up the bag and brought it over while Vanilla flipped through the journal with a worried look on her face, though that was kind of her default look.

I sat down and began picking through the bags contents.

-1 dagger

A string of text suddenly appeared in my field of vision.

The Sword of Elzan: Durability: 100/5000, Sharpness: 100/5000, Mana: 50/10000

NOTE: Why though? Who would let this piece get so worn down, this is supposed to be a SWORD! You were supposed to strike down the queen with this thing! What can you do with this piece of crap! I had Hephaestus whip this up! it’s supposed to be top tier! I’m going to smite whoever did this!

It was without a doubt Aphrodite. She had said her oracle was the last time she’d be able to communicate to me but it seemed like she found another loophole. The only problem is I don’t have appraisal, and she knows as well as I do that she can’t actually smite anyone.

-Mini Checkers Board & Pieces

NOTE: I know that! It was hyperbole! Check your stats again! Just think “status” and it’ll appear.

I looked again and Appraisal had now appeared under skills, not “unique skills,” so that must mean it’s something that other people have.

-1 Rope

Infinite Rope: Durability: 1000/1000

NOTE: Who snuck this in here? It’s a rope that can stretch out infinitely and it’s extremely difficult to cut. In case you’re wondering, this bag was not my doing. In fact, it’s a coincidence that the sword was in there at all. I would have sent you on a fetch quest for it if it hadn’t already been down here.

-2 Potions

Vial: Dragon Glass: Durability: 2500/2500

Contents: Dragon’s Blood

NOTE: Dragon Glass rivals mithril in terms of hardness. Mithril is still stronger but Dragon Glass is harder to acquire. I’ll bet it was some sexy adventurer who left this bag down here. He was probably discovered and taken to that wench of a queen, and they just happened to miss the bag.

NOTE: Dragon’s Blood instantly regenerates any non-fatal wounds. Probably from the same dragon as the glass.

There were two more items in the bag, plus the blanket and notebook which had already been taken out. The next item was a bit different from the others. It was shaped like a heart, except it was made of diamond or some other transparent jewel. In the center was a second, smaller heart; It was about the size of a Valentines Day chocolate with a purple wrapper.

-Crystal heart

NOTE: I don’t know. Crystal Heart is all I got. WHAT?!? I can feel your disappointment. I’m not omnipotent. I just got back after being gone a couple thousand years. Things change, new items get created. At this moment I can only see what you see. I’m riding a dangerous line right now.

I shook my head and took out the final item.

-Glasses Case: Durability: 40/50

And inside: Glasses. Just plain normal-

-Philosopher’s Eyes: Durability: 50/50, Mana: 1000/1000

NOTE: You don’t need these. It’s imbued with an ability similar to Appraisal. It also can be used to calm your mind and focus your senses, and can even temporarily boost your ability to memorize things. Actually, I think they may even be able to store memories and facts, if I’m not mistaken. You don’t need these though, you’ve got me, girlfriend!

She was trying way too hard. I put everything back into the bag and brought over the blanket.

-Wintry Behemoth Pelt: Durability: 1200/1200, Mana: 600/600

NOTE: If it’s super freezing outside, don’t worry, just put this on and you’ll be snug as a bug. It keeps the wearer comfy no matter how cold it gets, in fact, the colder it gets the more effective it becomes. And it doesn’t matter how many people snuggle under it, it’ll regulate the temperature to each individual!

Why is she starting to sound like an infomercial? I rolled up the blanket and stuffed it inside the bag with everything else. I didn’t know how these items might aide us in the future but it’s best that we keep them safe and out of sight for now. There were some seriously powerful items in there. The only normal items were the Checkers and the bag itself.

-Hermit’s Bag: Durability: 30/1000; Mana: 5/1000

NOTE: I didn’t even recognize this one at first, it’s in such bad shape! It’s technically supposed to be able to store 10x it’s appearance and even conceal it’s contents. At full power it can change into different kinds of bags and carrying cases. It’s original user was a man named Herman who became a traveling monk/con man/salesman. He had quite the illustrious career early on but eventually he was caught, after several years (I forget if it was 5 or 50) he was released but was never again allowed into any cities or towns. They say he died clutching this bag, and that he imbued it with all the mana he could as he died. Humans are so funny.

So, even this beat up looking bag was a special item. Maybe the goddess was right and this all belonged to a seasoned adventurer.

“Are you alright, Rami-chan?” Adrianna asked, concerned.

“Huh, yeah, why?”

“Well, you’ve been staring at that bag for a couple minutes. And your eyes keep moving back and forth like you’re reading or having a stroke.”

I guess I had just been looking at the bag for a while, while reading the Goddesses text message.

“No need to be concerned, I’m good. Actually, hey, Nill-chan, can I see that journal?”

“Uh, I’m sorry! I mean, yes!” She shoved the book into my face.

“Thank you” I mumbled from under the pages. I rubbed my face and then flipped to the first page.

The Journal of Sebastian Van Aren, PH.D

Succubus Researcher

I could make out other words as I scrolled throughout the 50 or so filled in pages, but for the most part It was in a foreign language. There were drawings of a succubus inside, very naked, very detailed drawings. It appeared as though the person this journal belonged to was very intimate with a single succubus.

This journal also revealed that we weren’t actually speaking English and it was some sort of translation ability not on my skill list. It might still be possible that it is English and they just represent the language differently or the person in this journal is a foreigner to this land, but I think it’s the first option. That left the question of how could I read any of it at all. I had a theory though based on something the Goddess had said.

“Hey, Adrianna. Can you read any of this?”

“No. I looked through it briefly but I couldn’t read it.”

“What about this word?” I pointed to a word scrolled next to one of the sketches.

“Clitoris”

“And this?”

“Labia”

“This…”

“Areola”

“Th-thank you, that’s all I needed.”

I turned back to the journal, it seemed that we were both able to recognize those words. I then asked Vanilla if she could spot those words on the page and she was able to point to them.

I  spent the next couple of minutes combing through the pages. I probably could have tried using the Philosopher’s Eyes, but I didn’t want to put too much time into this on the first day.

After several minutes of skimming I finally came across a section I could read in full:

Her lilac hair danced on the wind like Sakura in spring.

I think it’ll be a poem.

I just need a word that rhymes with guess,

I seem to always need help

And you always manage to find the right word for me

I can’t separate work from pleasure anymore, so I must finally confess

And in one word if you would finish the rhyme and answer

Will you marry me?

“Yes”

I found my eyes beginning to cloud from tears. An image flashed through my mind of a man with short brown hair, glasses, and a gentle smile. He always had mud or grease or something on his face. He was so clumsy, and so smart. She didn’t know the man but she felt the same warmth from his that their mother probably did.

Theory confirmed. Their dad left these things here. He was the adventurer that got dragged off. I shouldn’t assume anything but it’s something. The goal from here on out would be to locate their father. If he wasn’t here then that means he escaped. And if he escaped, we’d just have to follow. I made up my mind. I had a lot of hurtles to overcome (me more than most) but I think if we worked together that maybe we can find him. How big could this place be anyway?

“Look!” Vanilla suddenly pointed up to roof of the cave. I lifted my head and my jaw dropped. As if someone had flipped a switch, thousands of pinpricks of light lit up the ceiling revealing a murky green-ish night sky. The stars twinkled above them with a combined glow stronger than moonlight. I could see now that we weren’t in a simple cave, the walls rose up and leveled off at the top, we may as well have been at the bottom of a mountain. I was in awe at the scale of it all, you would never know we were underground.

“Pretty.” I heard a whisper from the other wall. Even Mona wasn’t immune to this amazing sight.

Where were we? How had I imagined, even for a second, that I had any sort of grasp of the world that I was in. This was going to be difficult, maybe even impossible. Goddamn you, goddess! I had no choice, the only way to survive this would be to play the part. I would do the best I could to be the best succubus I could be while I searched for Father’s whereabouts.

This is my life now. My life in another world as a succubus without a vagina. Look out world here, I come. How the hell was I gonna get away with this!?!

ABOUT THE EPISODE

mattmallow here! Thank you for reading the first "episode" of How to Date a Genderless Succubus! 

Firstly, I have to confess that I am in fact a straight, white, male. I've never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship. I spend most of my time alone in my basement watching anime and movies; It's a commonly tragic circumstance among weebs, some may even call it an occupational hazard. I guess it's not a job as it is a hobby or a past-time. Anyhoo, my point is that I probably do not have any business writing a story like this. I know nothing about women or being asexual, or being an asexual woman. I will admit that I had a patch in college where I questioned my sexuality since I found vaginas and the concept of sex to be extremely off-putting and could never picture myself spending my life with anyone but me. I've since softened on the idea somewhat, but I've imbued those feelings into the character of Rami. 

In regards to Rami's circumstances. The plan is, I think, she's going to have her lack of genitalia be a stepping point for her considering her sexuality in her current life and former life, and realizing that sex isn't necessary for her to feel like she's in a functioning, happy, fulfilling relationship. Being asexual does not mean being aromantic. And being asexual does not necessarily mean a person can't or won't have sex. It's just not a driving desire for them, as I understand it. Let me know if I got any of that wrong. 

These ideas are probably a bit too heavy for an ecchi comedy light novel about a succubus who can't f*** but those themes are what I want to lean on as I move forward with this story. I'm actually not even sure if this will end up being a comedy. I'm not confident in my comedy chops, but I figured with a title and set-up like this that it has to be comedy, right?  So, I added those tags just in case.     

Getting into the series, you might ask what the main focus will be. We have three things to contend with: 1) The missing father, 2) The unhinged queen, 3) Succubus struggles. I had initially imagined the third one to be the main focus. The second one is more of a later problem, and the first one has become more important as I've started writing.

I will say this is not one of those isekais that involves her becoming an adventurer or doing a bunch of level grinding in order to beat the big boss. I'm a slut for stat screens but this is not that sort of story. Don't get me wrong, that will happen over the course of the story it's just far from the main concern here.

Now for a few details that may have been bugging you. How does Rami go to the bathroom? The answer, and don't laugh, is her butt. There's a small hole just below her anus. You asked!

Aphrodite is not Aphrodite. She is a piece of a piece of the goddess known as Aphrodite. I say that because I'm too lazy to go down the mythology rabbit hole. If I get something wrong then I can just say, that isn't this Aphrodite. Speaking of, her floating city is just for show, and she doesn't actually get visitors at all. The whole scene where she's getting fingered was just for Rami's benefit. Everything was just for show. She's honestly forgotten who she used to be and just kind of wanders from place to place looking for excitement. It's sad. 

Honorifics. I don't know. The girls look cute in my mind and "-chan" seemed right. There wasn't really any reason other than that. Plus it ended up lending itself to a couple of jokes. 

And that all I have as far as notes. Thank you for reading. Comments are welcome.