Chapter 16:

The Warmth

Strays

Ivy loved the quiet peacefulness of the mountains. The city could be exciting and unpredictable with its bustling streets and surprises around every corner, but places like this is what truly awakened her soul. She had the feeling of being full while also weightless, a high that floated her along.

She looked at the boy who was picking up firewood a few feet away. Certainly, his presence contributed to that lightness.

“Thank you for helping, Zero,” Ivy said, truly grateful for the help. She had become accustomed to the devil’s wordless assistance. He seemed to always know what needed to be done and did so without having to be asked.

He nodded, stacking another thick branch in his already full arms.

Ivy knew that soon they would be able to carry no more and would have to head back to the camp. She didn’t want to. “Can we go look at the river?” she asked, its distant roaring coming through the trees.

“If you want.”

The girl set her pile down and motioned for Zero to do the same. He followed suit, and the two made their way towards the sounds of water.

“It’s going so fast,” the girl remarked as they came upon the river’s eroded bank. The water crashed frantically against itself as it raced down stream, relentlessly sweeping away everything in its path.

“It is,” he agreed.

They stood watching the water churn and swirl past, the strained silence between them palpable. Ivy nibbled on her bottom lip before raising her face towards the devil.

“Zero,” she ventured. “Why don’t you ever smile?”

He looked down at her, having not expected the sudden question. “Smile?”

He was so good looking, and Ivy felt that it really was a shame that those looks were mostly set in stone. She nodded. “Yeah.” Pushing her lips upwards in example. “Smile.”

“I’m not sure.” He thought on it, unable to procure a reason. “Ren tried to teach me once. He said it looked painful.”

“Can you smile?” It was such a strange thing to say, and she couldn’t imagine how a person couldn’t smile. Wasn’t it something that came naturally?

“Maybe.” His eyebrows furrowed closer together, eyelids squinting slightly, nose scrunched pulling his upper lip just barely. “Like this?”

The girl giggled, “Not exactly.” She reached up, placing her fingers to the edges of his lips and pushed them out and up. Her own lips scrunched as she examined the unnatural expression that she had created on the boy’s face. “I think it’s a work in progress.”

Zero’s hands came up to cover hers. Crimson gazed down, consuming violet. “Would you like me to smile?” His voice hushed.

Ivy opened her mouth, but found the words stuck in her throat as the heat rose from her chest, burning hotter and hotter. She swallowed to no avail but managed a small nod.

“Then I’ll learn.”

There was a blinding brightness as everything lit up and a grand ‘boom’ sliced through their ears. Ivy jerked back but Zero’s reactionary tightened grip on her hands kept her in place.

“What was…” But before she could finish, a blinding flurry of cold engulfed them in white. She had just been on the verge of scorching, but her temperature was now quickly dropping as giant snowflakes began to attack her skin.

The boy released one of her hands, pulling the ribbon from around her neck, and pushed it against her lips. “Cloak!” he yelled in her ear, the furious wind drowning out the command.

“Cloak,” she repeated, and he struggled to wrap the black fabric around her, fighting with it every inch of the way.

The boy only took a few steps forward, pulling Ivy along, before crouching down and helping her onto his back. He hooked his arms under her knees, and she covered his head with the cloak’s hood, burrowing her face into his neck, and wrapping her arms around his shoulders tightly.

Everything was a complete white out, and Zero didn’t know what direction to go, just that he had to get away from the river to avoid accidentally falling into it from its steep banks. The snow quickly accumulated on the ground, packing down several inches within minutes. It was grueling having to push through the wailing gusts and blizzard while trying to find his bearings enough to return to camp. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but he knew it had been too long. In the white blindness, he had gone the wrong way and they were lost in the storm that showed no sign of letting up. However, there was no option other than to continue forward as the snow made its way higher and higher up his legs.

Ivy peeked out into the distorted emptiness, straining to see anything but white. The world had disappeared beyond a couple of meters away. There was no way they’d be able to find Ren and Sakura in this. They had wandered off too far, lulled into a false sense of security by the blue skies. The nibbling trepidation ate further at her for the boy who continued to plow forward without so much as a lingering delay. Devil or not, these conditions were taxing and unreasonable for anyone to endure.

“Put me down!” she yelled into his ear. “I’ll walk.”

There was no indication that he even heard her.

“Please!” she screamed, her throat burning. “I can walk! You don’t have to carry me!”

The devil looked at her, eyes like flaming embers, before turning his attention forward and tightening his grip on her legs.

Ivy didn’t want to give up, but fighting against him to free herself would be futile. Zero was larger and much more stronger than she was. She imagined how Sakura would react, thrashing and fighting wildly, but that would only tire them both out quicker and make the search for respite that much more difficult. If he was going to refuse to make things easier for himself, then she had to help bring this hunt to an end. There were the caves in the mountain that had been created for times like this. However, she didn’t think they were close to the road and a mountain would quickly present itself once they were close enough but there was nothing in sight.

She squinted, her eyes stinging from the icy gusts. For a moment, the wind let up and the snow floated, long enough for Ivy to see a solid, dark, rectangular shape in the distance before the barrage of snow picked back up. “There!” she screamed, pointing towards the now invisible shadow. “Go there!”

Zero nodded, turning his body in the direction Ivy pointed. The snow was working its way past his knees when the form came into view.

“It’s a hut!” she cheered, squeezing the devil and bobbing up and down.

He made it to the door, attempting to push it open but the ice around the hinges refused to budge. The boy shoved his shoulder into the wood, and it gave way as they spilled inside the hut, Ivy cushioned by Zero’s body as he slammed onto the floor.

The girl sprung to her feet and forced the door closed against the vicious wind. She quickly knelled at Zero’s feet as he lay on the ground trying to catch his breath. Wasting no time, she ripped off his boots and socks and pushed his pant legs up, discovering a sickly gray covering his freezing skin. Ivy pulled off her cloak and wrapped it snugly around his legs.

“I’m fine,” he said calmly as he twisted himself to sitting.

The girl pushed him back to the floor. “No you’re not!” she snapped, feeling the panic rise. “Your legs… your legs are… we need fire!” In the corner rested a fireplace with the supplies stocked next to it and she promptly scurried across the room, hastily stuffing the paper and smaller starter into it before striking a match and setting it ablaze. Her heart was beating wildly. Ivy had to hurry and do something before it got worse.

“Is this someone’s home?” Zero asked. He sat back up and looked around, unfazed by the state of his lower body.

“It’s an emergency shelter,” she told him as she fed the hungry fire. “People build them for those who run into trouble. They’re pretty common in mountainous areas.” She looked back at the boy. “Lay down!”

“I’m fine,” he told her again.

“Stop saying that!” She rushed over to him. Falling to her knees, she began unwrapping the cloak from his legs. “Your legs are…” Ivy gasped and stared in disbelief. She had sworn they had been frostbitten but there they were, completely normal looking, the skin warm to the touch.

“They’re fine.” The devil sounded like a broken record.

The girl grabbed his left foot and lifted it up, examining it and it’s leg carefully before repeating with the right.

“I...I…” she stuttered, completely dumbstruck. “I could have sworn they had frostbite.”

“The snow is bright and it’s dark in here. Maybe you saw wrong?” Zero suggested. It didn’t seem like there was anything wrong with them.

Ivy nodded, no other possible explanation coming to her. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” she smiled at the boy. “That’s such a relief. That really scared me.”

“Why?”

The girl was taken back, and she giggled uncomfortably. “Why what?”

“Why would you be scared?” His eyes innocent and sincere.

“Because I care about you, Zero.” Ivy stressed. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

The look of agony in her eyes gave him the feeling of everything within him being crushed and he would do anything to make her happy again. He reached his hand out, the urge to touch her irresistible, and rested it against her cheek. “It’s okay if I get hurt,” the boy insisted, hoping to comfort her. “So don’t be scared.”

When Ivy slapped his hand away, tears springing to her eyes, the devil realized that it was not the right thing to say.

He had made a mistake.

“Why would you say that?!” the girl erupted, all the fear and helplessness that had been steadily building quickly turned to anger. She crawled up his body as Zero leaned back, wide eyed, unsure of what to do. Ivy straddled his hips and smashed his face between her hands, jerking his head up, forcing him to look at her as she hovered above him. He froze, bewildered over this girl who looked down at him completely furious. “Don’t ever say that! It’s not okay if you get hurt, so don’t say it is! It’s not! It’s not!” Her rage dissipated as quickly as it had come and was replaced by tears flooding her cheeks that fell onto Zero’s. “It’s not,” she cried. “It’s not.” The fear and helplessness had returned with a vengeance as she collapsed, arms snaking around his neck and holding on desperately while she sobbed into his shirt.

Zero hugged her closer, digging his face into her dark amethyst hair. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, a chant he had heard before. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Over and over. Each one cutting deeper than the last.

They sat tangled up in each other, one weeping and the other apologizing, as the blizzard raged on, cutting them off from the rest of the world. Ivy’s tears had a limit though, and after a while they had all dried up, nothing left in reserve. She sighed and pulled herself out of Zero’s embrace, feeling the chill in the air. She rubbed at her red, puffy eyes and returned to tend to the dying fire. The boy reluctantly let her go, mourning the loss of her weight in his arms.

“Who were you with before Ren?” the girl asked, slowly adding wood to the fire, allowing it to grow stronger with each piece. She couldn’t understand why Zero seemed like he didn’t care for his own self-preservation or well-being. Ren was so loving and affectionate towards the devil, like an overzealous father with their newborn child. Certainly, that should build his self-worth the way that Sakura’s love had built hers. But he had only been with the angel for a few years. So what was his life like before?

“I was alone,” Zero said, watching the girl bring life to the flames. “Mostly.”

Ivy peeked back over her shoulder at him. “Mostly? Was there anyone else?”

“Sometimes. When I was younger, I sometimes saw my mother.” He thought of her, but her memory was fragmented and unclear. Only the vibrant blue of her eyes and white of her hair had withstood the fading remembrance of time. “She didn’t visit me much. She seemed nice though. She smiled sometimes.” He thought of Ivy’s tears. “But she mostly cried.”

The girl set a larger log on the fire and then went and sat beside Zero. “Is that how devils treat their children?”

The devil shook his head and looked at the girl. “She wasn’t a devil. She was an angel.”

“But…” Ivy hesitated. “You’re a devil.”

“I am. But my mother was an angel. She had white hair and blue eyes and wings. She didn’t look like a devil.”

“So you’re half angel and half devil?” she thought out loud, wondering if the angel blood was what created his gentle temperament. “Why didn’t you see your mother often?”

Zero considered the question carefully. “I’m not sure. Maybe she didn’t like my room. It was dark and dirty. I didn’t like being there either. Or it could have been because she hated me.”

“Hated you?!” Ivy couldn’t imagine how anyone, let alone their own mother, could hate someone who was so quiet and kind.

The boy spoke as if he were describing something mundane, like how you stir a pot of soup or dig a hole. “That’s what she would tell me. She would tell me about the land, and sometimes smile. Most of the time she cried. She’d apologize for giving birth to me and tell me she hated me. Then she died.”

Ivy swallowed hard, trying to keep her voice steady. “And your father?”

“He was a devil. He gave me my name.” Zero looked up at the ceiling, pulling out a distant memory. “Zero. Because I am nothing.” He glanced back at the girl, unsure of what he’d done wrong this time. “I’m sorry. I made you cry again.”

She quickly wiped at the tears that she hadn’t realized had started to flow. “No, you didn’t.” She smiled, trying to conceal the immense sorrow in her heart but she felt sick, a nauseating combination of revulsion and outrage. “I’m glad you and Ren found each other.”

Zero nodded. “He’s loud. And annoying. Sometimes he talks me into things I don’t really want to do. But he’s taught me a lot things and showed me a lot of places. He’s always been nice.” He paused. “And if he hadn’t found me, then I wouldn’t have found you.”

Ivy blushed under his gaze, feeling foolish for getting bothered over this when she had just been sitting in his lap clinging to him for dear life. The thought warmed her face further. “I’m happy for that, too,” she murmured through her embarrassment as she stood up, giving herself a moment to recover, and walked to the small window. Night had fallen and the storm had finally passed, leaving behind over a meter of fresh snow in its wake. It wasn’t exactly the snow that Ivy had been hoping for. “Do you think we’ll be able to make our way back tomorrow?”

Zero stood and joined her. “We should,” he said, peering over her shoulder. “As long as another storm like that doesn’t hit.”

Ivy stared into the darkness, anxious over if they were the only ones to find shelter. “Do you think they’re okay?”

“Sakura is.” There wasn’t a single doubt in the devil’s mind about that. “If Ren’s alone he’s alright. If he found Sakura... then he’s probably dead.”

The girl giggled, hoping that Ren wouldn’t be worse for the wear come morning. “We should get some sleep. It’s not going to be easy trekking through all of that snow tomorrow.”

She moved to the fire and stocked it one last time before going to the bed against the opposite wall and laid out the blankets that were folded on the mattress. It was a welcomed reprieve as Ivy burrowed herself under them, stretching her tired muscles and resting her head on the pillow. The girl watched Zero remove his belt and set his katanas against the wall. He turned and sat cross legged on the floor, his back propped against the wall, his neck slack as he closed his eyes.

It seemed unfair that Zero had carried her all this way without complaint and he was taking refuge on the hard and cold wood floor. Ivy thought about what he had told her of his past. Of how he was mostly on his own. Of how he was hated by those who were meant to love him. She couldn’t stand the idea of him being alone. Of not being loved.

In the silence of the hut, there was no way to ignore how her body pulled towards his. How her heart ached with the distance between them. It was something that she had learned to tolerate since meeting him, aware of how bizarre it was to long for someone she hadn’t known for long. But even when he was nothing more than a stranger, it never felt that way. From the moment their eyes met, she only wanted to be close to him.

And it was all she wanted now.

“Zero. You don’t have to sleep over there.”

He looked up. “Where do I sleep?”

Ivy smiled sweetly, gathering her courage. “You can sleep with me.”

The boy looked at her for a moment before making his way to his feet and to where the girl lay. He then promptly sat on the floor with his back against the side of the bed. She blinked at the mess of white hair, realizing she was going to have to spell it out a bit more clearly for the devil.

“Zero.” She poked the back of his head. “You can sleep with me. In the bed.”

He froze. Ren’s voice echoed through his mind.

Slow

His heart refused to listen.

“I’m alright,” he muttered. “Get some sleep.”

Ivy wasn’t exactly sure how she felt about being rejected, but she definitely knew that she didn’t like it. She threw the blankets off and plopped herself on the ground right next to Zero, matching his position.

“Good night,” she chirped and closed her eyes.

He was perplexed by the sudden action. “You should sleep in the bed.”

The girl glared at him, daring him to argue. “I’ll sleep in the bed if you sleep in the bed with me.”

Zero’s heart pounded harder.

Slow

It wasn’t working.

“Okay.” He got to his feet and Ivy followed. The two of them stood there, sizing the other up.

The girl cocked her head towards the bed. “Get in.” It was a demand. “I know if I get in first then you’ll slip out once I fall asleep.”

She was a smart girl.

Zero climbed in under the blankets and rested his head on the pillow. Ivy followed. They lay there motionless, trying not to touch each other. The girl teetered on the edge, one small movement away from the floor. She looked at the devil, his face illuminated only by the fire’s glow. He was clenching his eyes closed much too tightly and she struggled to suppress a smile. There was space between them and she hurried to take it all before she lost the nerve. Pushing herself completely against him, she thought of what Ren had said the night before.

He was right.

Zero was nice and toasty warm.

And she could feel that warmth rising from her chest into her neck and face.

The boy lay they, muscles tight and having difficulties breathing. He tried to make it a smooth motion, but it entered and exited erratic and uneven. It probably would have been easier to manage if his heart wasn’t about to explode from his chest.

Slow

“Zero,” Ivy’s voice was low.

“Yeah?” he barely managed to croak.

“You’re too stiff. You need to relax.” Her fingers prodded at the muscles in his arms, chest, and back; each one spasming under her touch.

“I am relaxed,” the devil lied.

“Sure you are,” Ivy sighed. She grabbed his top arm and laid it over her waist and across her back, his hand resting between her shoulder blades. “It’s okay.”

It’s okay

Zero exhaled deeply and pulled his arm tightly around the girl, bringing her as close as possible. Pressing his nose against her hair, he inhaled.

The scent of life.

He felt his body go limber, his heart and breathing slowed.

Never had Zero felt so at peace.

The light.

The warmth.

Ever so slight in his chest.

Pulling.

Welcoming.

“Zero.” Such a sweet sound.

“Hmm.” Was all he could muster.