Misty thoughts

After a day since the date, I felt like there was enough time for me to sit on everything to finally start thinking about things. Of course, I meant the date itself. So far, only bits and pieces had come to mind, but when I found myself on a dreadfully boring Sunday, I had nowhere else to run.

There I was, with a stolen bathtub all for myself while I stared at the misty ceiling trying to make sense of everything that was going on. First things first, everyone has been implying lately that I like Aoki and Sakurai, the two girls I talk to. I couldn't let myself get influenced by those things. That's definitely how I saw the friendship I was building with Aoki. But how about her cousin that she introduced me to? How about Sakurai and her alter ego Momo-chan? That's even harder to see through than the steam that surrounded me. Or is it?

Is it?

Looking back at the past two weeks, it became clear that my strongest memories were all connected to my interactions with Sakurai. The realization hit me like a wave crashing against the shore. It was no wonder I had insisted on calling our outing a "date."

Now what?

I was starting to accept the fact that I liked Sakurai and that it didn't mean only as a friend that I met up with sometimes. It wasn't just about meeting up occasionally or being online friends. I craved more of her presence – her voice, her smile, her undivided attention.

Having come to this realization would make this a lot harder – I knew that I would be self-conscious every time I saw her in person from now on.

Is it mutual?

This uncomfortable thought made me a little anxious. I tried to shake it away, clumsily splashing water onto the bathroom floor, the sound echoing in the otherwise silent room, urging me to get out and do more practical things.