Facing myself

I was curled up in bed, completely detached from the outside world. The sun was still shining, but it felt distant as if I had been trapped in my room for an eternity. My eyes remained fixated on my phone, checking it every minute, while my computer displayed Momo-chan's stream in full screen. Even if her voice sounded like a character, even if it didn't remind me of the girl I was just with, hearing her voice coming from the speakers still felt good. The few times when her real voice slipped through always caught my attention, yanking me out of my daydream.

I arrived at a conclusive idea – I was too far gone, completely lost in Sakurai's charm. Each passing day, she became a bigger part of my world, to the point where now I couldn't focus on anything without getting intrusive thoughts that traced back to her. Her voice, her smile, her mannerisms – they consumed my thoughts. I finally accepted that I stood at a crossroads and I'd anguish for as long as I avoided addressing the elephant in the room. Either it was mutual, or it isn't. In other words, I needed to be honest with her and see where it led.

After I felt like the fog cleared up in my mind, I took deep, slow breaths, and started to watch her stream attentively. Despite having it open for some time, it hadn't truly registered what she was doing. But with a quick glance, I remembered the artwork from the visual novel she had shown me at the ice cream place. As an added bonus, I now would have something to talk about with her, something she was passionate about.

After a while, I felt like I had completely come back to myself, and was more or less normal. Not completely, that wasn't going to happen any time soon, though.

"If you waited any longer the food would go completely cold." My mom teased me from across the table as she finished her meal. My dad had already finished and was checking on his phone.

"Why do I feel like this is a recurring theme now?" She glanced at my dad, looking for a partner in crime, but his eyes were glued to the screen. "These new friends are running laps in your head."

Before I could respond, she sneakily buried her face in the bowl. All I could do was take a deep breath. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, but nothing came out – and so, the family dinner was over, and I found myself back in my room, happy to be alone in the dark with Momo-chan. Or... not. That's... not what I meant.

I did feel like posting another fan art of hers would be overkill in such a short time span, but I didn't exactly have many tricks up my sleeve. I had to work with what I had. So that's what I set out to do while trying not to become too distracted from the actual stream. This time, I wanted to make it into a full, finished work. That would take more time than I had today.

I lied. The clock read 2:13 when I finally finished it. My brain felt like mush, but whatever I had left in me told me it was good enough to post online. It better be worth it because dealing with school in just a few hours was going to be absolute torture. Life was bound to punish me for this.

This time, I drew Momo-chan's character going down a hill by the ocean, with the strong wind blowing her hair, clothes, and all the different accessories that she had on her 2D model.

And there it was. Posted.

That was the last thing I remember before my alarm painfully woke me up after what felt like a few minutes of rest.