Solace

At the end of the sports festival, Rossi-chan celebrated the class victory with her parents, and me.

She said to me, "Thanks for cheering me on! I must say, that sign you were waving around gave me motivation. Fufu."

I was taken aback and flustered.
"A-Ah, well––it wasn’t my––your mom gave––I don’t know."

"Is this the foreign boy you’ve told us plenty about?" asked her mom.

Rossi-chan nodded.
"Mhm! His family’s from Spain, his last name is Verano."

I introduced myself formally, to which her dad faced me with a lean smile.
"Thanks for taking care of my daughter at school. She says you’re really good friends."

"Some might say they’re suited for more than friends," her mom added.

Quit it, mom! A-Anyways, her dad doesn’t care about her placin' first! He only wants that from her because she’s the happiest when she does. She has to give herself a rest, knowin’ that they won’t be mad at her for doin’ so.

➼ ➼ ➼

She hid herself within the garden of flowers away from everyone else, not being able to express her love for them. With me, she opened up like her calendar. I knew her true self was shelved away for a long time, but there was the chance for her to be free.

Midterms came quickly later in October. She studied in her groups, so there wasn’t a chance to talk with her. I needed a place where we could talk alone, and I had thought of the flower garden, but when we met after the first day of exams, my plan had crumbled.

"You want to go straight home?" I asked her.

"Y-Yeah. I’m too tired to stay after all the work we’ve been given today. Since it's the second semester, there’s plenty more to cover, and I simply want to rest in my room."

"That makes sense. Seein’ as everyone else left, we might as well leave too."
I followed her as we walked to the shoe lockers. I was finally without crutches.
Okay, so the garden’s out of the picture. She’ll probably stress out more in her room, so I need to tell her about her dad. The only option is to…

"You want to walk me to my house?" she asked.

"Ah, well, bluntly…yeah," I replied.

"I’ve never had anyone but Hanamaru-chan walk me to my house."

"You can say no if you want to."

"Since you built the courage to ask me…"

"Courage?"

"...I have no reason to deny your offer. It wouldn’t be a burden for you to pick up Muku-chan, correct?"

"If you live south of our school, you’re close to her school. I can drop you off and still be on the path to pick her up."

"Rather bold of you to ask something like that, is there a reason?"

"Well…"
There’s no reason to not be straightforward with her.
"I’m sure you’re stressed about exams, but I have somethin’ to tell you that’ll maybe put you at ease."

"Oh? I'm looking forward to it."

We left the front gates to the right down the path that led into the neighborhood ward. Plenty of other students were walking on the road too.

"What did you want to tell me?" she asked.

"Uh, I’d rather do so in a place not too crowded."

"True, in that case, you can tell me at my house. For now, let me show you some of the flowers I see on the way."

At an intersection, we turned right and crossed the road in order to take a left. The street we entered was a long strip that went as far south as Kyoto University. I took this street to reach Muku’s school.

"Look at that house over there, it has snapdragons."

"What day is that on the calendar?"

"December 3rd. The name refers to the extravagant resemblance the flower has to a dragon’s opening and shutting mouth. It comes in magenta, orange, white, and pink colors. Do you know what it means?"

We reached a stoplight. The red neon sign illuminated our faces as we waited.

"Umm, I remember readin’ about it in the calendar."
I attempted to flip through the pages in my memory.
"It’s not a positive meanin’, I think. Is it somethin’ about deception?"

Her face lit up with the green light of the sign.
"You’re correct! It can mean deception or concealment, because of the appearance of the flower. Concealing it can make you look mysterious and maybe even dashing in the eyes of the people. You should try it!"

"How do I even conceal a flower to look better? Who’ll know I have it in the first place?"

"I will," she replied with an infectious smile.

We passed the Nara Line railway tracks and Rossi-chan informed me that her house was at the next right turn.

"And that’s why sunflowers are pseudanthium flowers. Their ray flowers make up their appearance, but because it’s a bunch of little flowers together, it’s not considered true inflorescence."

The neighborhood had quite the luxury of designs. One house was about the size of the entire apartment complex I lived at, and my family shared with four others. The wealth of the area was as clear as the sky. Rossi-chan pointed her house to me.

A cobblestone foundation with a dark wooden fence was the perimeter of the building. A two-car garage with a carport over the driveway was visible through its metal gate. She had plenty of coniferous trees that were taller than her two story house, and I peeked over the fence to see a widely diverse flower garden.

"Benvenuta a casa di Rossi!"

From fully blossomed butterfly weed and coreopsis flowers to a stone fountain with a birdbath at the top, her garden appeared more like a miniature flower park than a front lawn.

"My mother and I do all the garden work here. We opened a patch over there to start a new flower bush, but we haven’t picked a species yet. My father said to not plant any more, but we did it anyway."

"S-Speakin’ of your dad…"

"Oh yes, you wanted to tell me something. Does it involve him?"
She appeared troubled, perhaps trying to guess where I was going with the conversation.

"Yeah, but don’t worry, I think this is good news."

Her face reverted to its natural chipperness, though I would make it frown one more time.

"Exams have stressed you a lot this semester, haven't they?" I asked rhetorically. "You told me earlier this month that you renewed your prescription for Xanapril."

"To be honest, I haven’t taken them as much as I should have. Being with the club, and you especially, has put me at ease far greater than summer and first semester."
Then she frowned, dipping her head to the asphalted ground. Her expressions were hidden behind her curtain of hair.
"B-But, I was planning on taking one today because of the exam."

"I don’t think you’ll need to take them anymore."

She seemed skeptical, because her head hadn't lifted like I hoped it would. There was no point wasting time, so I sped up my pace.

I told her what her dad had told me at the festival. I informed her that she didn’t need to overexert herself for his – or anyone’s – sake, because he wanted her to be happy, and if he knew she truly wasn’t, then he wouldn’t be mad, but would want to help.

Her fear was always overthinking the negative changes that could occur if she told people how she truly felt about the thing they praised her most about. She worried they would take blame, when in reality it was her fault.

She isn’t lookin’ up. Did I mess somethin’ up and make her more stressed?! Should I––

*Crouch.*

Huh? Who…?

*Crouch. Look at her.*

"Rossi-chan…?" I asked as I squatted down, putting all my weight on my feet. My ankle still felt a bit sore from the sprain, but the sensation of pain was minimal to the sensation of relief I felt when I saw her face.

My eyes tracked a singular tear that hit the ground. More continued to follow, but I wasn’t concerned, because of her soft and serene lips forming a crescent moon’s smile. They trembled as she attempted to open them to speak.

"I…I’m…I’m so…"

Her eyes enchanted my own as I gazed upon them. No matter how much she’d try to squeeze them closed, the rubies were always visible when met with mine. I didn’t want to blink, because I wanted to enjoy every moment staring into them.

"Happy?" I asked.

"Mhm!"

I’m happy too.
I rose to my feet, and wanted her to look at me. Gently, ever so softly, I curled my index finger and used it to lift her chin until she was upright again.

I smiled, because of her. I realized at that moment that my solace was her happiness. Some part of me felt different. An emotion, a desire I hadn’t felt before was discovered. I wanted to be her solace too.