I Hate Fetch Quests

Daffodil scanned the road for players and then grabbed Asterion’s hand and slid into the nearest alley in one swift motion that would make it seem he’d been practicing avoiding people for years. In a way he supposed he had.

“What do we do?” Asterion asked him as they cautiously made their way down the alley, sticking to the shadows even though they were alone. “Where do we even begin?”

“I have no idea,” Daffodil said with a sigh, betraying the unease that was building inside of him now that Wilhelm’s knowing gaze was gone. “Where the fudge are we going to find someone that knows where the Well of Knowledge is?”

“I may be of assistance,” someone spoke and both Asterion and Daffodil jumped at the bodiless voice. Farther down the alley, a man seemed to melt out of the shadows. He had to have a crazy high stealth skill to be able to completely hide from their detection, a thought that did not bode well with Daffodil. The man stepped closer to them so that they could get a better look at him.

Well, maybe that wasn’t quite right. They could see the man technically, but his entire body was shrouded in a giant cloak that perfectly hid the man from sight. A glance above his head proved that the man was not a player. The words read Shady Individual, a description that Daffodil decided was very fitting.

Daffodil squinted his eyes at the man but Asterion was clearly more trusting because without any reservation he blurted out, “How can you help us?”

Even though his face was concealed Daffodil could tell the man was smirking. “I happen to have a map of the well. The only one of its kind that I’m aware of.”

Asterion stepped in front of Daffodil and it seemed like he was a different person. This was the man that took every quest offered to him and always succeeded in the end. The man known throughout the game for his charisma and charming personality. “I take it you won’t give it to us for free. What would you like in return?” Asterion said, his voice kept cool and diplomatic.

“I need you to get me an item,” the man said, his voice a dramatic rumble that had Daffodil rolling his eyes. Can you be any vaguer? he thought.

“Any item in particular?” Asterion asked with infinitely more grace than Daffodil would have been able to provide.

“Berries,” the man replied and Daffodil almost did a double take at the answer. He was going to trade the only map in existence that led to a well that could provide infinite untold knowledge… for some fruit? The man continued, “The berries that grow in the forest outside Caspia are the best I’ve ever had. Recently, however, I haven’t been able to get any. No one in the market is selling them because a monster nest decided to take up residence next to the berry bushes and no one has been brave enough to clear it out. I want you to bring back a basket of berries for me and destroy the monster nest so merchants can start collecting and selling them again.”

“So you want us to kill a few monsters, bring back some berries, and you’ll give us the map?” Asterion asked, sounding as confused as Daffodil felt.

“That’s right,” the man rasped, voice full of solemn sincerity. “From what I’ve been told, it’s a nest of Wild Beasts. Figured you’d want to know what you’re up against.”

Before Asterion could say anything, Daffodil said, “Great! We’ll take your quest.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Asterion said, his voice low like he was only confiding in Daffodil.

“It’ll be fine!” Daffodil brushed off the concern. “You’ve taken out whole packs of Wild Beasts on your own, right? This time you’ll have me there to help you!”

Asterion blushed at the clear sign that Daffodil paid attention to and remembered the conversations they had about his hunts. “That’s kinda what I’m worried about, actually. I know you aren’t a huge fan of the monsters in WanderQuest and Wild Beasts… aren’t very pleasant.”

“It’ll be fine. And all things considered this is a pretty easy way to get the map, right?” Before Asterion could protest further, Daffodil shook the man’s hand. An icon appeared in the lower right hand corner of his vision showing that the quest had been added to his log.

“Pleasure doing business with you,” the man said with a tilt of his head. Then he melded back into the shadows, completely gone from their view.

. . .

It was hour three of trudging through the forest when Daffodil had had enough. He collapsed onto an overturned log with a sigh and watched as Asterion slowly followed him. “Why are we doing this?” he complained to no one in particular as he rested his chin on his hand. “I just wanted to find the Four Sages but we had to buy a book but to read the book we need to find the Well of Knowledge but to find the well we need to go find some gosh darn berries and kill a bunch of monsters. That’s so many steps!”

Asterion huffed out a laugh and said, “You don’t play a lot of MMOs huh?”

Daffodil glared at Asterion without any real heat but it morphed into a smile when he saw the expression on Asterion’s face. “I guess not. I never really bothered completing quests when I was playing WanderQuest. It’s probably for the best ‘cause I just would’ve gotten frustrated and quit.”

They rested on the log for a few minutes in silence. It was a comfortable quiet that reminded Daffodil of all the hours the two of them would spend sitting next to each other in his valley without even uttering a word.

Finally Asterion broke the silence. “I never really asked you when we were playing WanderQuest, but is there a reason why you’ve never gotten into fights? Is it really just because of how scary the monsters looked?”

“Well,” Daffodil started, “the appearances of those monsters was definitely a major reason for me to stay away. I used to wonder if I was the only sane person playing the game because no one ever seemed to be as affected by them as me. I still think that sometimes. But, if I’m being completely honest, it’s because the controls were too confusing.”

There was a moment of silence before Asterion started cackling. His whole body shook with laughter as he managed to get out, “What?”

“I’m being serious!” Daffodil said indignantly. “WanderQuest wants you to fill up your entire keyboard with different attack options and spells. I could barely remember what key did what and in the middle of battle it was difficult trying to hit the right buttons. Farming only needs like two commands. It’s way simpler.”

Asterion was finally starting to get himself under control and he wiped away a tear as he said, “The reason you didn’t fight was ‘cause you couldn’t remember the right keys?” It was clear he was barely keeping himself from falling apart into another bout of laughter.

“That’s why I’m more confident now that I’m in the game,” Daffodil said, trying to defend himself. “I… I’ve had some problems in my life where I would always resort to violence. I got in a fair amount of fights when I was in school, so I’d say I know how to throw a punch. Now that I’m me in the game I don’t have to worry about hitting the right keys and can just let muscle memory take over. I didn’t ever tell you because I didn’t want you to think I was some really aggressive guy.”

Asterion had sombered up during Daffodil’s speech. He took Daffodil’s hand and gently guided the man’s attention to him. Daffodil almost flinched at the fierce look in Asterion’s eye as he said, “I’ll never think less of you, Daffodil. I’m happy to learn something new about you.” He gave Daffodil a comforting smile and Daffodil found it not that difficult to return it.

“I thought you should know now. Hopefully I’ll be able to help you kill some of those Wild Beast things,” Daffodil said as he stood up from the log. Asterion followed suit and the two were about to continue their journey when they heard it. It wasn’t quite a howl or a bark, but a guttural, feral noise that made Daffodil question his newfound confidence.

“What was that?” he asked, afraid he already knew the answer.

“That,” Asterion said, summoning Ol’ Reliable as he turned towards the noise, “was a Wild Beast.”