Young Cyan

My previous hope that my duties as a Cupid would mean I got to use my wings a lot was definitely fulfilled.

Over the multiple hours -or maybe even days- that Cyan and I spent on her home planet - which was, once again, named something I got ruthlessly teased about when I tried to replicate the sounds coming from the Fairy’s mouth- we flew almost constantly.

I didn’t fatigue like I thought I would have and, much to my surprise, I didn’t even need to eat very much as I watched Cyan take notes, compile data, and point out traits in certain Fairies that would be compatible with others for either platonic or romantic reasons.

Fairies were different from humans. (That didn’t really need to be said but I couldn’t think of a better way to start.)

They were all looking for a partner to endlessly frolic around and dance with, they were incredibly vain, and highly complimentary when they found something -or someone- they favored. In direct opposition, they were highly critical when they found something -or someone- they didn’t, which led to choruses of outraged arguments and shrill giggles of flattered laughter spilling out from every bough, bush, ground hovel, and treehouse.

It was both confusing and highly fascinating to me as I tried to process all the onslaught of new things, but Cyan seemed to welcome it all in as home; I could sympathize with the peaceful expression on her face every time she jotted down extra notes on the three collections of paper she had brought with her.

Though my experience back on Earth was incredibly brief and more traumatizing than comforting, it had felt good to be sure about the world you were surrounded by; intimately familiar with it since there were no questions about how anything worked because you knew.

The papers contained all the pertinent information on the Subjects she was focusing on currently, one of the Fairys involved being a late descendant of someone she deeply cared for back when she was alive. She’d explained this when we had settled on a tree branch low enough for us to observe the entirety of the festivities going on below.

I’d been given permission to deploy my first ‘on the job’ gadget here. A self constructing tent of sorts that served as an extra barrier for our transparent forms and also acted as a buffer so we could speak without worrying about the beings around us hearing whispers.

The tent-like thing was made of sheer material that -I recalled- could hold heat or repel it depending on the need; which made it incredibly convenient and easily portable for storage, rest, or whatever you might need a safe, partitioned area for.

I was tasked with carrying Cyan’s equipment, at least the stuff she didn’t personally have attached to her uniform.

It was nice for her -she’d told me- since she didn’t get to use a lot of the traditionally human sized items unless she requested minimized replicas or Manifested herself an approximate item tailored to her size. She’d said that this method worked pretty much perfectly but it was still a novel occasion for her to use the actual item versus its Manifested counterpart.

I learned a lot just on our first trip. I learned how to multitask shadowing Cyan and comparing the notes she had compiled with the subject it was focused on, how to begin making my own observations, and recalling the previous training I had received in the one on one academic setting under situations of duress. (Duress only for me, of course, I’d never seen the Fairy so peaceful.)

It took no time at all for me to recognize the methods and techniques both Cyan and Jun had shown me in a patient, methodical way and how Cupids would put them into practice. Since there was an almost endless list of things to remember and take note of, I could understand how the monitoring period would last for a long time.

To my surprise, the more I learned about what Cupiding would entail, the more excited I became to try my hand at it myself; I didn’t know how strongly I reacted to seeing other people’s happiness and knowing that I could be a major contributor to their cause.

Throughout our time there, I’d pestered at the Fairy for more information after she’d told me one of her subjects was a descendant of someone she personally knew. I hadn’t received any more details after that, and Cyan had been surprisingly tight lipped about it considering how open she’d been with me about everything else. I decided it must’ve been something of a sore spot and dropped any further lines of questioning.

Instead, I watched our Subjects closely, trying to see the traits and mannerisms written down in Cyan’s notes for myself in the attempt to recognize patterns and measure compatibility.

“His name is Cyan.”

She’d murmured after a longer lull in our conversation, swirling magma eyes going soft with fond adoration as her fingers tapped idly on the leather bound notebook in her lap.

“He’s named after a beloved distant Grand Fairy far, far up his family tree.”

The sounds of music, laughter, and the trilling of some animal or insect I’d never heard before blanketed us in warmth as the flowing breeze -near identical to one in Cyan’s cozy forest office- swept heady aromas of sweet breads and fried skewered vegetables around us.

My attention -which was feasting heavily on the sights and smells- snapped immediately to Cyan when she spoke; tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth as it had done since the very beginning and blocking my words from tumbling out. I was glad it did, because Cyan continued to talk when met with silence and I was more than happy to listen with careful, measured breaths.

“I was quite a young thing when my forest was devastated with the Frost; I’d only been paired off for thirty or so seasons before…”

Her voice turned wistful, the quiet already present combining with her reminiscence which dipped her words at too low a volume for me to catch them all.

It didn’t matter, I understood.

“This is… yours?”

I hoped my gesturing conveyed my intent well enough, clunky human fingers flexing slightly as they swept over the grove, trees, sky, and grass. The forest as a whole as it lived and breathed; lush and opulent and alive.

“Mm… yes.”

I couldn’t even begin to think I would ever understand the all encompassing joy and heartbreak Cyan must have felt seeing her home thriving and wild again.

Joy, I’m sure, immeasurable amounts of joy but… her eyes were deep and glassy with some sadness, too. It reminded me of what she had said when I’d asked if all people came to Oeuvre when they died.

“The ones who don’t get to say goodbye deserve a second chance...they come here both to hear the farewells from the ones they held close and to fulfill a purpose they didn’t have time to choose while they were alive.”

It was Herald’s job to look after the ones they left behind; that was our purpose.

Privately, I’d been mourning the loss of my future; of goals I’d never achieve and people I’d never get to meet because I’d never have the chance to live again. Being a Herald didn’t mean those thoughts went away or filled the hole left by the life I’d never live.

But… I think being a Herald would provide the wings I needed to pick myself up and fly out of the void that was the things I’d never get a chance to do; the hole would never be gone but I didn’t have to stay in it, there was an alternative choice if I so chose.

“Well! That’s enough of my frittering; do you have any questions about Cupiding so far because now would be the time to ask them!”

I snapped out of my reverie and scrambled for my notes, running my gaze down the messily scribbled bullet points and blinking hard to focus my eyes since I had only been skimming over them and not reading them.

“Uh-how long… how long do you usually work on a Match before you…”

I motioned to the projectile device tucked safely away in a heavy canvas bag beside her; portable and sized small so Cyan could easily handle it as she had shown me when we were in the practice area before. She was a perfect shot, calm and collected as she lined up her target and hooked it dead center every time.

Following my line of sight, she ran her fingers over the device outlined through the material lavishly and shrugged.

“It depends on the subject. There are no ‘easy’ Matches; each Herald has their own distinct method but for me… roughly around three quarters of a season! It’s not a competition but, if it was, I’d be one of the best.”

She winked, pulling her apparatus from its travel bag and proudly running her finger over the grip.

She hadn’t allowed me to see the personalized equipment she’d chosen to bring along, something about ‘not wanting my style to be a copy of hers so I could find my own naturally’ or something like that.

Coming from Earth, the ‘projectile devices’ could be called nothing but guns in my consciousness no matter what other names Jun and Cyan called them; they looked exactly like weapons. It was hard for me to imagine knocking an arrow or cocking a gun because I wanted to transmit information; the ingrained concept of what they were used for seemed impossible to shake.

“-lucky for you, tonight’s the night! Put those on.”

I tuned back into Cyan’s words just in time for me to scramble for a pair of glasses that were thrown into my lap. They seemed to be a normal pair of clear lens glasses except, when I put them on, I didn’t have any blockage of the rims or a dulled sense of sight like I usually did.

“These are for…?”

“Look at our Subjects.”

I did, automatically focusing in on the little something ‘young Cyan’ had in their hand and almost screeching when my vision just zoomed in. I quickly took the glasses off, blinking my eyes and looking over at Cyan with an expression she sniggered at.

“As I was saying, now is the time for Transmittance; watch me, Birdie!”

I put the glasses back on and did as instructed, heart pounding nervously in my chest as I watched Cyan carefully recheck her equipment before narrowing her eyes and going stone still; a beat of almost eerie silence stretching between us as the festivities continued to go on unaware before I heard a ‘click’ and I rushed to redirect my gaze to Young Cyan again.

I could see the little projectile as it whizzed through the air and made contact, the young Fairy not even blinking as Cyan’s information slowly decompressed inside of their consciousness. (The whole concept of a Cupid’s job still seemed incredibly baffling to me)

He laughed at something the Fairy he was conversing with said and I almost missed the other two ‘click, click’s from Cyan’s dispatcher. I rushed to follow where they went, identically perfect and not even a hairsbreadth from their desired target as three seemingly random Fairies paused and looked around as if in search of a familiar face. Scanning through the crowd like their name had been called from a distance.

They weren’t random, not at all. And if you dug into each of them it was plainly obvious why they were proposed as a Match.

Seeing Cyan’s detailed notes: pages upon pages of arduously studied preferences, nuanced personality points, personal wants, pet peeves, and so much more, it was almost awe inspiring to see her envisioned proposition finally come to fruition. Or start at least, Cyan had very firmly insisted that Cupids -no matter how much studying or expertise- were only there to give suggestions; it was ultimately the Subject’s choice as to whether they took the advice or not.

Honestly, I was expecting more; some sort of grandiose display that would make everyone who was present’s heart stop from the romance that was bursting forth but… there wasn’t.

Each Fairy gradually went back to what they had been doing previously and my lips twitched downward into a slight frown; disappointed.

Cyan didn’t share my mood, skillfully packing her device back into its carrying case before slinging it over her shoulder, expertly avoiding her wings with practiced ease as she grinned over at me; clearly thrilled with her actions and unable to contain the feeling.

“So, what did you think?”

My eyes strayed back to the three, hoping that something might have happened in the few short moments I had looked away.

No surprise, it hadn’t; I shrugged.

“It was amazing to see you actually… shoot.”

It still felt weird to use ‘gun’ terminology when talking about this sort of thing, but I didn’t know how else to phrase it.

“I just thought that there’d be more… more?”

She hummed knowingly, fluttering her wings so she was airborne again as her fingers went to the pull that would start compressing our makeshift tent. I was quick to scramble out of the way so I didn’t get vacuum sealed in.

“Yes… I can understand that.” Once collapsed, she handed the gadget back to me so I could slip it into the pack I was tasked with carrying. “Love isn’t instant, Birdie; it’d be nice if it worked that way but methodical action and hard work is what makes a successful Match where all Subjects involved are happy and invested. It takes a lot of time.”

Once again, the glamor and fluff I had associated with romantic feelings was starting to seem like an illusion.

“For us, it’s not as glamorous as it was when we were alive; Heralds get the privilege to see behind the curtain but… that takes away some of the magic, too.”

She must have seen something in my expression because she quickly wrapped me into her arms and proceeded to squeeze a coughing squeak out of me.

“Cheer up! I’m sure you got to experience all the butterflies and sparkles when you were alive! Us Heralds get to see and experience both sides of it, we’re the lucky ones!”

Yeah... I guess we were.

I just think it would've been nice if I could’ve experienced those things a lot more while I was on Earth before I missed my chance.