Misunderstanding

I decided to take my current situation less seriously and just go with the flow. If my father would know about my current attitude towards life he would lecture me about it I'm sure. But if there's something Asher taught me involuntarily is that everyone should treat a situation with the exact amount of seriousness it requires. I already knew this before meeting him but sometimes I just feel like doing the opposite. Somehow, it annoys the hell out of him. And no matter how much I annoy him, he still helps me whenever I need it. But this time I really did irritate him. He never raised his voice when talking to me before.

But why does it hurt this much? My throat hurts like it does when someone is about to cry and cannot speak properly because it hurts so much.

Actually, I really do feel like crying now. Why? Why is everything more important to him? I thought he considers me a friend but it seems I'm just a nuisance to him and he cannot wait to finally get rid of me and go home.

I got so used to his presence that I cannot imagine what it would be like when he was gone. And I don't want to imagine it. But where is this noise coming from?

It took me a few seconds to realize that the music I started to hear was not coming from somewhere else but from my phone.

"Hmm?"

"Hey, Jack, I'm afraid we have to take a rain check on golf. My parents want to celebrate that I got into Columbia, so I cannot go."

"Okay, we'll go next time. And congrats!" I told him in what I thought was a normal voice.

"Are you alright?" He sounded worried about me which made me even sadder than before.

"No," I said and lay down on my bed.

"Why don't you take him with you to the club?" He didn't say his name but I know he meant Asher. As if he would ever...

"I don't think he can play golf. So, I'll just wait until next time when we can go together," I told him while staring at the ceiling.

"Why don't you teach him? You cannot know. He might be interested," he said casually, and hearing this, I just cannot imagine any reason why Asher would say yes to this.

"I... I don't think he would want to," I told him in a low voice and felt tear drops falling down my face soundlessly. I waited but Lei didn't say anything, as if he was waiting for me to continue, so I had to say something to break the silence. "I said something I shouldn't have," and when I said this out loud my eyes welled up with tears and I had to bite on my lips not to make a sound and cry.

"Why don't you two talk it over and try reasoning with him? He asked which made me snort.

"Impossible. He is too good at reasoning. After all, he is... he wants to be a lawyer."

"Oh... Then... I still think if there's something bothering you, you should tell him. He didn't seem a heartless person to me when I met him. He would understand it."

"I might try," I said uncertainly.

"Do that! And don't forget to inform me how it went," he told me happily as if he wanted to cheer me up.

"Ok, we'll talk later," I said and hung up. Now, I'll just have to find out whether my father really won't be eating at home tonight. If it's only the two of us, then maybe we could really go somewhere else.

                                                                          ******

Now that I'm here, I don't know whether this was such a good idea after all. He was silent all the way here. I watched him while he was driving and he didn't seem to notice. Or he deliberately ignored me.

"You can order whatever you want," I told him as we sat down. I reserved a table that was not in the middle of the crowd but not in a secluded corner either.

"Do you often go here?"

"Not that often. Sometimes, when I have company." I tried to sound casual but now I'm getting nervous. It's not the first time we have eaten alone, just the two of us since he arrived. But it's the first time we eat together at a restaurant and not at home. It almost seems like...

"That's a pity. The atmosphere is good here. I bet the food is good too. Let's see... I'm suddenly craving some lamb. I've never had lamb before. Can't wait to find out how it tastes."

Somehow, his babbling annoys me. And I don't even care what I'm gonna eat. Maybe I'll just point at a random dish when the waiter arrives. Who cares?

"I'm fine with anything."

"Of course," he sneered. "But I advise you to not give in so easily because other people might take advantage of you," he pointed out and raised his glass to taste the wine that the waiter brought to us when we arrived.

"I've never been taken advantage of," I told him earnestly but it only made him sneer even more.

"Of course you haven't because I bet there's someone, who saves you every time." I'm sure he is thinking of the time at the jacuzzi. Why can't he just let it go?

"I'm sorry," I told him in a low voice while fidgeting with the glass before me.

"You don't have to be. A boss never has to explain his decisions to his subordinates.

"But I want to," I raised my head to look at him. He is smiling but he doesn't seem to be that happy at all.

For a while, neither of us said anything. From the corner of my eyes, I saw a waiter arriving at our table but seeing us talk, he stopped near us. He probably thought we were still discussing what to eat. He is wrong.

"Then I accept your apology," Asher said finally. "Now let's eat, I'm starving," and looked at the waiter, who immediately came closer to take our order.

But I couldn't care less at this point. I wanna go home but I also wanna prolong this time, so that we can stay here a little longer. He seems satisfied and he is even smiling as he is talking to the waiter.

And I cannot help but feel that if I hadn't made the mistake of saying his real life is sad and little, now I would be the one he smiles at.