The Suspicious Trio

“Master Altair! Fancy meeting you here!” The lone male lackey says.

“Yeah, well, I live here.” What’s with the “master” title? No, I probably just heard him wrong. Yeah, that’s it.

“Oh, right! Ha ha! Anyway, I don’t think we ever properly introduced ourselves! My name’s Brass!” He points to the blonde woman to his left. “This is Goldie!” Then he points to the older woman to his right. “And this is Silvia! Nice to meet you!”

“It’s a pleasure, dear,” Silvia says with a serene smile.

“Yes, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Goldie adds.

“Oh, uh, nice to meet you too.”

“They’re my friends from Mahjong!” Mom helpfully adds. “I ran in to them when I was doing my morning run earlier and invited them over for breakfast!”

“Oh, okay…”

Not feeling up to arguing or making a scene in front go my parents, I take a seat as far from the suspicious trio as possible. My mom then goes about setting plates in front of all of us and there’s a chorus of “thanks you’s” said around the table. My Dad says grace, then we dig in.

“By the way Mom, Cobalt will be coming over for breakfast today.”

“Then I’ll be sure to set aside a plate for him!”

“Thanks!” I take a bite of my food and almost forget about the uninvited guests until Brass speaks up again.

“Thank you again for opening up your home to us Maggy!”

“Oh, think nothing of it, Brass!”

“Maggy”? Only mom’s closest friends call her that. How long have they been hanging out?

My mom’s phone suddenly starts ringing. “Hello? Now?! But— Oh, alright.” She hangs up. “Sorry, gang. That was work. Something came up and I need to fill in for a co-worker.”

“It’s alright, dear,” my Dad begins, “I can take care of—“

Then my Dad’s phone rings because God keeps giving me His toughest battles. My Dad takes the call and, predictably, also excuses himself because of a work emergency.

They agree to leave after I reassure them that I can entertain the guests while they’re gone. As much as I’d love for them to stay and act as a buffer, I can’t get in the way of their work. They both work in the medical field so it’s not really easy for them to just shirk it off, especially if someone’s life is on the line.

“Alright, then be sure to say hi to Cobalt for me and say that we’re sorry we missed him,” my mom says as she’s already putting on her shoes at the doorway. Then, with a voice loud enough to shake heaven itself, my mom calls for my younger siblings to come down for breakfast.

Adler and Agila! They can act as my buffers!

Both of them start rushing down the steps, right on cue. But they don’t stop for breakfast.

Adler grabs a piece of chorizo and plops it in his mouth on his way out.

“Sorry, can’t stay for breakfast today! The CEO of the company that manufactures toppers is trying to harness its innate powers to bring ruin to the world of competitive topper battles! I’m meeting up with my friends to stop him!”

It’s amazing how he’s able to say all of that in one breath.

“Yeah, I can’t stay either! I, uh, have to figh— find some parts for an urgent school project! See ya!”

If she’s going to lie, I wish she’d try to be more creative.

They’re both out of the door before any of us can get a word in. Well, so much for that. My parents head out shortly after and I’m left alone with the suspicious trio.

I check my phone to see if Cobalt’s close. There’s a new message.

“Sorry, ran into some trouble on the way. Will probably get there in 30 mins. Please leave some tapa for me.”

I look to the heavens. God, why?

Running off is out of the question. These three work for a bona fide super villain, there’s no telling what they might get up to while I’m gone. I can’t just make them leave, either. They might complain to my mom about it the next time they play Mahjong together and I do not want to deal with my mom’s “so disappointed in you” lecture afterwards.

I take a breath. Here goes nothing. Into the lion’s den I go.

When I enter the kitchen, I expect to see murderous gazes. Expressions that read “What makes you think you’re good enough for our boss?” or “You’ll be in a world of hurt if you make our boss cry.” Instead, all three have gotten out of their chairs and are now bowing their heads low.

What? Just…What?

“Um…What’s going on here?”

Brass is the first to speak. “Please keep going out with our boss!”

“Please!” Both Silvia and Goldie say in unison.

“Um, okay, first of all, can you all please raise your heads? This is making me really uncomfortable.”

“We’re sorry Master Altair, sir!” This time all three of them say this in unison and raise their heads at the same time.

I look longingly back at the delicious breakfast spread in the kitchen before ultimately deciding that it can wait. With a tired sigh, I gesture for the weirdo trio to follow me to the living room where we all take a seat.

“Okay, so what the heck was that back there?”

“I told you the bowing would be too much,” Goldie says with a glare directed at Brass.

“I thought it would be the polite thing to do!”

“From what era?! Even Silvia thought it was weird, and she’s ancient! No offense, Sil.”

“None taken, dear.”

“Um, guys?”

“Oh, right! Sorry about all this Master Altair! The truth is, well…”

“Ugh, just get straight to the point,” Goldie interrupts. “Our boss seems to like you and we like seeing her happy. So we’re here to make sure she stays happy. “

“Yes, dear. And we do apologize for imposing on you like this, but we thought this would be the best course of action.”

“Um…” How am I supposed to respond to this?

Brass suddenly stands up and starts talking with big hand gestures. “I know that the boss seems weird, but she’s really nice! She gave me a job even though I already failed 70 job interviews!”

“You…what?”

“I owe the boss a lot as well,” Goldie says. “Most villains force their female workers to wear skimpy uniforms and wear way too much make up. And don’t even get me started on all of the harassment issues. The boss gave me a safe space to work in and I’m eternally grateful to her for that.”

“I had trouble finding work as a henchwoman as well,” Silvia says. “Most villains thought I was too old or not attractive enough, but the boss hired me without any hesitation! She really is such a lovely young lady.”

“Oh, um…That sounds nice, but is she okay with you guys telling me that she’s a villain? I was under the impression that she was running a financing company.” The truth is, I already know all of this, but they don’t know that. At the very least, this confirms that they aren’t aware of my identity so that’s a load off my shoulders.

Silence follows, and then a piercing scream.

“Ahhhhhh! I completely forgot!” Brass practically falls to the ground, cradling his head in his hands.

“I knew this was a bad idea,” Goldie says with a scowl. “‘Let’s have breakfast with his family!’ He says! ‘It’ll be fun!’ He says!”

“Now, now, let’s all just take a breath and calm down,” Silvia says as she starts moving to help Brass back up.

I look up to the clock hanging on the wall. It reads “8:00 am”. This is going to be a long morning.