Forty-Five Percent and Fourteen Hours of Sleep (or: how much Jun is owed and how much Jin slept)

“Forsooth, I am owed at least forty-five percent.”

I wasn’t quite sure how we had got here.

First of all, the cake -only marginally frostingless from my earlier ministrations- was shared between the three of us as Fairy, Human, and Elf all gathered around what had become our usual table at a progressively rushed pace.

Some time over the past year I had developed a sleep schedule and I tended to wander towards the cafeteria area at the same time each morning. (Morning according to me anyway.)

Because of this, the meal we shared -which I called breakfast- had quickly become a race to see who could arrive first with the starting point being the moment I stepped foot outside my room.

Back to the cake.

Jun, despite my previous pleadings, had smugly suggested that we divide the cake in accordance with the percentile of ‘credit’ each of us had contributed to my successful year; according to them, I was one of the fastest Heralds to complete two Rotations under the pursuit of Replacement.

Before I had even managed to settle myself fully into my seat, the words had been hurled from the Auspice’s mouth and flung across the table to smack Cyan rudely in the face. I only sighed, knowing that I was too late to save or salvage anything by now since the war had already started and just began dividing the cake into three equal pieces so we could enjoy it together once the two of them finished; whatever year that may be.

I tuned them out mostly, snarky words laced with passive aggressively smug sarcasm and the angry buzzing akin to the sound of a legion of bees clashing above me as I laid out a napkin for each of us; shrill words occasionally sliding into a language I didn’t understand accompanying the whirring hum of Fairy wings as they bickered themselves into a sitting position and accepted the plates I had offered.

They’d be done soon, it would just take a little distraction for them to forget all about what they were arguing about.

“I just wanted to say thank you to you both.”

That did it, brilliant blue and fiery red both eyes both snapping to me as the joyous spark of debate and quarrel faded into something more -dare I say- affectionate. The fondness was motherly on Cyan’s end, eyes already glistening with unshed tears as she flew over to tackle me into a hug.

Jun seemed pleased as well in the vulnerably genuine way I had only seen a few times, although I’d been allowed to see it more in the past few months now that we had officially started my Auspice Rotation Training, which meant we’d been spending a lot more time together away from our usual trio dynamic.

Jun would be a different kind of quiet when they took a specific compliment or ideal to heart, their expression softening from their usually passive look as their eyes unfocused like they had to really pause to take in what they were hearing or processing; like they wanted to slow down time and really revel in the moment because it meant something special.

As I wheezed in Cyan’s arms, I made sure to watch for the Auspice’s tells to make sure they knew I really meant my words.

“It doesn’t need to be said since it’s obvious, but I seriously couldn’t have progressed so fast without you guys; and even though it was a lot to ask you both made it so easy for me. I just… all I can say is thank you. So much.”

Cyan -predictably- startled sniffling where she was clinging to me, it didn’t take much. Jun gave me a sincere nod before looking away to consider their plate very intently; it was good to know they took my words to heart, too.

I didn’t make us linger in the moment for too long, gently unwinding Cyan’s arms from my middle and picking up my plate.

“Happy Anniversary, Guys.”

They echoed my sentiments happily -each at their respective levels- and we dug into our cake and breakfasts.

We easily fell into our usual morning routine after that, the Fairy chattering away and frequently pulling me into the conversation; teasing remarks being sent Jun’s way from playful red eyes as she tried to wheedle them into the conversation as well.

Whether deliberate or not -I thought it was a bit of both- the Auspice mostly kept to their paperwork, only chiming in when Cyan poked and prodded sufficiently for a snappy, scathing remark that adequately hid their amusement.

They always answered when a legitimate question was asked or I addressed them directly, much to Cyan’s outrage and our collective amusement.

I didn’t know how it made me feel to have those cerulean eyes on me so easily. Something made up of one part delight at Cyan’s expense and two parts something that unsettled my stomach and left me smiling a little too wide; only for me to feel self conscious about my actions not a moment later wherein I rushed to temper my response to something a little less exuberant.

Since time had passed, I was a full fledged Cupid now not only in name but action as well.

That meant I had Subjects of my own -although my list of past Subjects was admittedly short- and files to mull over alongside Cyan and Jun as we ate; when we weren’t chatting or flicking fruit at each other, of course.

Being an official non-apprentice Herald meant that I was given a uniform to wear while I performed my Cupid duties, a jumpsuit-like outfit seemingly appearing in my room the moment Cyan and Jun had deemed me ‘completed with training.’

As it turned out, we were allowed to customize our official Herald uniforms since worlds and territories varied so much. Just in case our outline was seen from the roof of a building or corner booth at a cafe, we were instructed to make our uniforms blend in with our world’s surroundings; and also to make it something comfortable enough for ourselves personally to spend a large majority of time in.

Once we returned through Oeuvre’s main building, all Herald uniforms looked the same across Designations with only the color for variance: white for Cupid, black for Reaper, blue for Sentinel, and so on. Auspices were the only Designation who were allowed to keep their customization visible on Oeuvre since they never left. (Uniforms also showed your customizations in the practice areas since that was where you performed maintenance and repairs depending on your individual uniform needs.)

I chose to have my uniform loosely mimic tactical gear, it was nice to have pants with a lot of utility pockets to store my on the job gadgets in and I thought I looked cool, too; that was the bonus part.

I wore a long sleeve dark shirt, a hooded, over the head vest with plenty of storage that cinched comfortably tight around me so it didn’t get bulky, those aforementioned convenient utility pants, fingerless gloves, and boots so I wouldn't get sore feet when I walked.

Yes, I had wings but it still wasn’t second nature for me to fly everywhere; as opposed to Jun, who would’ve always had their wings Manifested if it wouldn’t have been a hassle for everyone in the immediate vicinity since they took up quite a bit of space in a wide circumference.

Staying within the general parameters of ‘Cupids wear white’, the last addition I made was a shiny mesh almost cape that was equipped with a hood and long sleeves that I could easily slip on when I was traveling for light reflection; it folded compact and small enough to fit in my pocket when I needed to camp out somewhere for observation, revealing my disguised uniform underneath.

Just because I wanted to style my uniform a little more personal, there was a shiny pop art styled heart with an arrow through it on the back of my vest, only visible when the light caught against the reflective fabric just right and it had made me grin so much when Cyan had squealed her delight the first time I showed her my fully customized uniform.

Jun had only said ‘tch’ at first at her level of excitement, their calculating gaze taking in every utilitarian choice I had made with each article as they hummed appraisingly at a part of the design they particularly approved of. The vest itself, for example, was something they praised only for them to pause when I turned to show them the back and they saw the decal I had worked into the material. I loved it, and when I turned around to see the Aupice’s expression I had to bite my tongue so butterflies didn’t come flying out of my mouth.

Because they were smiling. Full on, teeth exposed just the littlest bit, eyes crinkled slightly smiling; nothing like the smirk they gave to Cyan or the little twitch of approval they gave me whenever I completed a packet of dizzyingly complicated Auspice paperwork correctly.

Now that I had completed my Sentinel Rotation -thankfully I had only needed to assist for an allotted amount of time versus going through the official training- I was focusing on Cupiding and training under Jun for my Auspice Rotation.

The days -which I timed by when I slept which was not every sixteen hours or so anymore- were filled with paperwork, very careful Subject observation, and a lot more one on one time with Jun. I was a little sad to lose the individual time I had previously spent with Cyan but I did find that I got more work done when I was around the Auspice versus the Fairy.

“You will be shadowing me in Processing today.”

I wiped the residual water from my lips and recapped my bottle, nodding my head decisively with a hum of acknowledgment. I’d only shadowed Jun through Processing once and it had been extremely overwhelming to the point that I’d had to tap out early; I wasn’t going to do that this time.

There was one big difference between the previous Herald training I had done and the Auspice training I was doing now; Auspices didn’t ever leave Oeuvre. All of their Heralding was done for other Heralds or Portants who didn’t choose to receive Designation.

That had answered my question as to what would have happened if I had picked ‘no’ all those months ago.

If I had thought that Cupids and Sentinels had lots of paperwork, that didn’t even begin to cover the amount of paper pushing Auspices had to do! There was so much! I couldn’t even…

“Where do you get all your paper from? I’d think that there’d be no trees at all with all the paper everyone goes through…”

Jun had paused, glanced up from their various files, and clicked their tongue.

“Yes, if we were simply using paper a single time, we would most definitely be burning through our trees and natural greenery. However…”

They set the file in their hands atop their desk and reached for what I had deduced to be the ‘completed’ pile, precisely sliding the contents over to me down the length of the desk and smiling smugly when I muttered darkly under my breath about them being ‘too perfect’ all the time.

I opened the files -they’d even been sent so they faced me the proper way- and sat in confused silence as I sifted through each collection and found them to contain nothing but blank paper. I compiled a few of these myself and I’d seen Jun take care of the rest so I knew there had been a plethora of words and handwritten annotations on each double-sided page. Now, each sheet was blank, creaseless, and blemish free like a fresh sheath of paper fresh from its package.

“After we’ve written it down, the contents of the paper is compressed to be stored in the-” They gestured above us loosely. “Aether. Once again, your human mentality and reasoning confines you.”

This had become a point of contention between us in the past year, Jun always found it irritatingly small minded when I couldn’t shake the logic and need for rationalization from my actions and, of course, I would react like someone far younger than myself when accused.

It was part of what we did now and I didn’t mind admitting that I liked the camaraderie of it.

Jun had also mellowed out from actual ire to something like deliberately bringing up an embarrassing story just to draw a reaction from the person; it had become a running joke between us.

“If you wish to retrieve the information, simply will it as you would Manifest and it will appear in a file; Heralds rarely refer back to previous Subjects but it is not unheard of. You haven’t had the need since-”

“I know, I’m still incredibly green when it comes to Heralding.”

I knocked the little tower of cube shaped fruits I had been building while we were chatting over, popping one in my mouth before I started again. I was still surprised that Jun had let me eat in their office until I saw the amount of time they spent snacking; which was almost always if they were sitting at their desk.

Oh, and when I say office I meant their real office.

The one I had visited before was just for show; well, just for entertaining or whatever, even though the Auspice seemed to have a surplus of different offices all contained within one big room pending who they needed to talk with. I’d seen at least thirteen different ones while I had been shadowing Jun for my Rotation Training and yet none of them held a candle to Jun’s ‘real’ office.

It wasn’t a forest like Cyans, and yet it was green and wood-like nonetheless.

If trees naturally grew into house-like structures and all the rest of the flora also collaborated, that’s what Jun’s office looked like. Nothing had the ‘mad made’ look even though there was more ‘furniture’ in Jun’s office then Cyans.

There were fireflies that gave the space a constant glow and luminescent plants that emitted warm colors like Edison bulbs in all shades of the color wheel; some shades went beyond that too but they all leaned towards one side so there was cohesion throughout.

There was a stream that provided constant noise and nutrients to the small garden beds planted alongside the water; I was surprised to see the little garden at first since I hadn’t been able to picture Jun as someone who would be interested in that. Then, after a moment, it occurred to me that I actually could.

It made sense that they’d enjoy culturing plants and trees for their own benefit; Cyan had told me that Elves valued self sufficiency greatly.

“As you know -since you practice it yourself- not all Heralds use paper for their method of notation; Oeuvre is equipped with what you would call electricity to power the Earth devices Humans seem to prefer. We’ve adopted some uses for it as well as it seems to intermingle quite compatibly with the resources used to build our own tech– you are aware of this, I am simply rephrasing in case you may have forgotten any aspects of it.”

I nodded, pushing my fruit tower aside and returning to my paperwork.

I always had the Subjects I was currently focusing on in the back of my mind no matter what I was doing. This was only my third independent Match and I was determined to continue on an upward trajectory.

It seemed like a constant overload to always have my mind so full of everything, I didn’t know if it was the air or the food they served us here but I always seemed to be alright. My body didn’t fail or suffer like it definitely would have had I been overworking myself like I’d been regularly doing on Earth.

Jun was even more insistent than Cyan that I get as much sleep as I desired when I did finally turn in for the ‘night’; going so far as to dragging me back to my room after I’d been sorting Auspice paperwork for thirteen straight hours since I was determined to get the hang of how to do it quickly and efficiently.

I’d complained and Jun had ‘tsk’ed and I’d been petulant when they’d tried to pacify me with a chocolatey snack, I wasn’t a child.

Because Jun was somehow more unmovably stubborn than I was, I’d ended up in my room but very deliberately awake; Manifesting the ledger I had been studying and continuing where I had left off only to find myself dozing now that I was in my room.

My mind and body knew that this area meant sleep and was eager to start the wind down process. I was stubborn and tried my hardest to stay awake, blinking hard and biting my tongue every so often so my eyes would snap back open to alertness. Only to droop a few minutes later.

I went to bed after two more hours since that, for some reason, pacified my stupid hindbrain into thinking that sleeping now was somehow more my choice than Juns.

After I slept for a solid fourteen hours, Jun and I had both tentatively seated ourselves at the table and Cyan had been the one to forcefully make us admit what had happened.

Unsurprisingly, she’d laughed at our childishness and simply patted us chidingly on the shoulder before flitting off to go join Calliope and Atlas; stating that she’d see us at the next meal so we could sort out our differences.

Eye contact was made and kept for an excruciating minute before I broke under the pressure and began to speak. Coincidentally, a minute was also Jun’s limit because they spoke almost exactly when I did.

“I’m sorry-”

“I apologize-”

We both stopped, my tongue attaching itself to the roof of my mouth as I absolutely wailed with embarrassment on the inside and Jun cleared their throat just to relieve some of the pressure.

“If you would, please allow me to start.”

They had said quietly after a moment, daring to meet my gaze again as I nodded feebly, still trying to recover my lost soul where it had left me after being cooked to death by the heat of my own embarrassment.

“I apologize for treating you… unfairly; you are your own person who knows their limits and– can make their own decisions. I apologize for enforcing what was simply my opinion and disregarding your resistance. It seems…”

Color rose and stained their features and I had to consciously stop myself from staring, instead focusing on their eyes which they made sure to keep steadfastly on mine despite the grip on their composure slipping; I admired their will and appreciated their effort as well, it conveyed that this was important and I mattered to them.

“-it seems as though I… I am more apt to lose my equanimity when the situation pertains anywhere between directly or indirectly to you.”

My throat felt dry so I swallowed, the sound surprisingly loud in the always bustling cafeteria area.

“Is… should I take that as a compliment?”

They gave a laugh, just a little one that came out more like a hum with just a hint of a smile.

“Perhaps.”

I’d take that as a yes and, until they corrected me, I’d continue. My words came out easily after that.

“I’m sorry too, I did need sleep and it was only my ego that was telling me not to; I should have listened to you or at least handled my response better. I mean, you’re only looking out for me, right?”

They nodded in an affirmative.

“Always.”

There was a subtle shift in general understanding between us after that, another layer of depth being added to the wall of trust we had been building together.

Although playful banter and good natured ribbing occurred daily, we hadn’t sincerely argued again after that.