Outfit Trouble

Days flew by quickly. I spent my days using that remaining shoe as my lifeline. Shortly, it’s time for the Christmas holiday.

With the promised day drawing near, I somehow got the feeling that I’m a protagonist of a tragic romance story with one sided love. These feelings of mine started to make me question my sanity.

A month ago, I had decided to bury my feelings, but now my determination has wavered. My sense of reason is slowly falling apart. My soul cried out, craving for her presence. It strongly resonates with my heart as it wishes the same thing.

I want to spend more time with her.

The time I spent with her everyday wasn’t enough to keep my ever-growing thirst at bay. Jogging with her early in the day, lunch with her in the middle of the day, and having a call in the night was barely enough to keep me from going insane.

Every time she ranted about her life, I wished I could come and embrace her. For every struggle she faces, I wanted to be there for her and soothe her.

I want to stand on her side.

But I know that this is merely a selfish desire of mine. No matter how much I love her, I’m merely a fake. Looking at my situation, I put my hand on my face and laughed at myself.

What I’m thinking? Romance? A drama protagonist? I must have gone crazy. There is no way she has a feeling toward me… right?

I paused. I couldn’t rule out that possibility, nor could I confirm otherwise.

If I think about it, our relationship is quite ambiguous. I’m closer to her than I’m to Carlos, my childhood friend which I hold dear, but we are not lovers either. In everyone’s eyes, we are a happy couple, but what about her? What she’d think of me?

A shield that protects her from danger?

An aspiring basketball player that is fun to talk with?

A motivator that helps her get back on her feet?

A good friend willing to listen to her troubles?

Who am I to her?

Ultimately, I couldn’t answer my own question. Knowing that I wouldn’t gain anything if I kept thinking about it, I stopped my train of thoughts. All I can do now is to prepare for the things to come, especially for the shopping date on the 25th.

However, as I opened my wardrobe in the middle of the night, I realized how foolish I am. Almost all of my clothes are about basketball. Tank tops, basketball jersey, sport shorts, sport trousers, and a few caps filled the space.

Well, there were a few T-Shirts and a few jeans, but those were too casual. I couldn’t imagine what she would say if I wore these when I shopped with her.

Oh no!!! I’m truly a sports fanatic! I need to buy some clothes before I meet her.

And so, I spent my remaining days looking for clothes and items. I know, it’s quite ironic to shop in advance, just to prepare before I go shopping with her, but what can I do? I need to leave a lasting impression on her, hoping that she would notice me in a different light.

In the end, my hands were full with shopping bags full of items. First, I bought a stylish white-and-black zip-up hoodie. The top is painted white, while the bottom has black paint which creeped upward like the smoke of a burning forest. It has two small pockets, enough to hide your hands until your wrist if you put your hand in.

Not to forget, I bought a stylish black T-Shirt to match the hoodie. I had a hard time picking a shirt that suits me, and at the same time, would show its full design if I wear the hoodie unzipped.

The shirt design writes one word per line, which is written as follows: ‘Eat’, ‘Sleep’, ‘Basketball’, ‘Repeat’. Why basketball again you ask? Do you even need to ask at this point? My soul is for basketball, that’s all you need to know.

I also brought a black trouser and a black and bulky Bluetooth headphone from a famous vendor. It gave me crystal clear sound with the lossless music file I have in my smartphone, and the bass was no slouch either.

Hold on, you are asking me why I’m buying an electronic when I am shopping for clothes?

Hmm, imagine I wore that black T-shirt and the trousers.

Done?

Now, imagine that I wore my hoodie on top of the shirt, with the zipper opened and the shirt design visible.

Done that too?

Okay… For the last time, imagine that I put on my headphones which encircled my neck, and I pocketed my hands inside my hoodie.

Isn’t that cool? Well, at least for someone like me who only knows things about basketball, I think that’s cool enough. With this, I wouldn’t be embarrassed standing next to her, even if she wears her best attire or even puts on makeup.

And last, I bought body spray… Huh? You said I’m going overboard? Nah! Considering I play basketball often and used to emit a full body odor of sweat, it would serve as a safeguard to mask my scent in the case that a bath won’t wash the scent away.

Time passed. And now, it’s the night before the designated day. As usual, I’m on a night call with her.

“Keith, don’t forget, tomorrow we will be shopping together.”

“Don’t worry, I still remember that. I’ll pick you up at ten, right?”

“Yeah, you’re right. Well, I will be waiting for you.”

“Right, I’ll sleep early today. See you tomorrow, Jess.”

“Night, Keith.”

Beep!

She hung up the call.

Before I lay myself on the bed, I assembled all the clothes that I bought and the headset in the table beside the bed, so I can easily pick it up tomorrow. As I finished preparing for the next day, I threw myself on the bed and slept.

The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual. I skipped my morning jog and ate my breakfast early. My parents looked confused as I explained that I will meet someone today, and have to leave early.

I swiftly went upstairs and took a bath. After I dried myself with a towel, I sprayed the body spray I bought yesterday all over my body. I wore my clothes that I had prepared, and put my headphones on my neck.

With myself fully dressed, I ordered an online taxi service on my smartphone. I set additional pickup points on her house, and set the destination on Serramonte Center.

After the app confirmed my booking, I used my phone as a mirror to add finishing touch to my appearance. Thinking that my hair could be better, I carefully combed my hair.

Heh, I've turned from someone who only used his hands to fix his hair to a neat freak.

Looking at my handsome self, I pocketed my phone and went downstairs.

I arrived in front of my parents to say my farewell, only to see their shocked faces. My mom even dropped her jaws.

“Keith, is that you? Wait, no… Is this the end of the world? Or maybe you are possessed by a devil?”

“Mom, it’s me, really. Today, I will meet my friend and we will do our shopping together. Well, I need to buy a replacement for my other basketball shoe, so…”

“Keith, are you going to meet your girlfriend?”

What???

My mom’s guess was pinpoint. I guess I couldn’t dodge the bullet now, and I should have come clean with them.

“Uh, we are not like that. Not yet, at least. She is still a friend of mine.”

“So, you will meet with your crush today… I see… Well, you have grown up, Keith. I didn’t think that my son who only cared about basketball would experience his youthful romance this quickly.”

“Mom, come on. It’s not like dad didn’t do the same. He snagged you in the end, right? Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here.”

Shortly, we burst into laughter. We laughed without a care in the world, that was until I heard a car honk, indicating the driver's arrival. Before I could turn myself around, my dad tapped on my shoulder.

“Son, you have to be persistent, at least as much as how I hooked your mom in… Keith, go get her!”

With a thumbs up, he closed his right eye and grinned at me. I chuckled in response, and gave another thumbs up in return.

“Sure, dad.”

Before I left, I waved at my parents.

“Mom, dad, I’ll be off!”

“Take care, son!” My mom waved her goodbye.

I swiftly turned around and opened the house door. In front of the house the driver that I booked was parking, waiting for me. I went inside the car and closed the door, as the driver started driving the car toward her house.

Shortly, I arrived at her place to pick her up, only to be charmed once more. She wore a pretty white dress and leggings, and I could tell that she is putting effort on her makeup. Again, she reminded me of an image of a Goddess.

She opened the door next to me, went in and closed the door. And soon, another problem popped up: She was sitting so close to me.

God… Give me the strength to calm myself down. I need your help to make this date a success. I’m sorry that I couldn’t attend the church today, but please, soften her heart today so she may notice my feelings.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. After I attained a tranquil mind, I looked at her, only for her to look back at me.

“Hmm… Keith, what’s wrong? Is something on my face or something?”

She asked her question with a smile, and it was enough to send my heart flying. Still, I couldn’t stay silent after being caught staring at her.

I have to respond back. Ah!!! I need to give her a good excuse… But what is it? Wait, I can just say she looked pretty. That’s it, I just need to tell her.

I cleared my throat before I started my flattery.

“Jess, I noticed you looked prettier than usual, so I didn’t realize that I stared at you. I apologize.”

“Keith, you are flattering me. Speaking of which, you also look more handsome than usual. I like your outfit. Not gonna lie, you are looking cool today.”

My heart took a huge hit from her words. It was just like I got a punch from a boxer right into my chest. To find an inner peace, I decided to silently pray to my Father in heaven.

God, please give me strength to prevail. Because if not, I would pass out before I could impress her. You are my refuge and my strength. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Finishing my prayer, I steeled myself. My heart raced as the car got closer to our destination. I could only hope that I won’t screw up later on.