A Grim Banquet

What does it mean to be human?

Quite a loaded question, huh?

In order to be a true human, one must go through three inevitable (albeit, awkward) things:

1. Running late while being stuck behind the slowest possible person and not being able to get around them.

2. Eating food that someone cooked with all their heart and lying about how wonderful it was despite wanting to scrub out the awful taste with a toothbrush.

3. Being forced to talk to strangers in large crowds and pretending to enjoy whatever nonsense they're going on about.

“Ha! And that's when my father started complaining about all the fish we were losing. I mean, hello? What else were we supposed to do but throw them back into the ocean, right?”

Xeran smiled and nodded along with whatever this girl was droning on about, but he was silently cursing her entire bloodline all the while.

After finally breaking away from the girl, he ran into a multitude of different humans, all just as annoying as the ones before. Adrian's mother gave him a slight thumbs up after speaking to someone that seemed to have been a king in another kingdom, though he couldn't be bothered to remember what his name was.

This fraternization is so exhausting, how do people do this all the time?

His patience was already wearing thin by the second hour as an old woman detailed her “adventures at sea” with her husband (it was just a cruise). Noticing his slight agitation, the older woman chuckled into her hand. “Oh, you don't have to stand there and listen to me all night.”

Xeran nodded. “Okay, sounds good to me.”

Before he had the chance to turn around, he felt the familiar pain of the Council's weird game-like contraption kindly letting him know that what he was doing was “Out of Character” and “No human takes those kinds of sentences at face value, they're just said to be polite!” Which, really, why are humans so complicated? Why don't they just say what they mean?! Completely and utterly nonsensical, these creatures.

“I mean,” Xeran gulped, “it has been really lovely partaking in conversation with you, and I would love to continue it—.”

“Excuse me.”

Xeran whipped his head around, coming face to face with a woman whole didn't look much older than Prince Adrian. Her hair was long and styled in a way that was fitting for a princess; her dress sequined to the point that any person looking at them in the sun could probably get burnt; and her face was contorted in a way that gave off an air of innocence to anyone with less than half a brain, but was actually carrying an air of arrogance and pompousness.

Xeran glanced around, his eyes scanning the area to see if she was actually talking to him or not. He could see Adrian's mother looking particularly excited as she noticed that he was talking to this woman. “Yes, I'm talking to you,” the woman spoke as her name popped up above her head, reading “Mirabelle Wilton”.

Sighing, Xeran placed his hands on his hips. “Well? What do you want?”

The woman, Mirabelle, rolled her eyes. “I was told that you would be present at the banquet tonight, and it seems my sources were not wrong.”

“Sources?”

“Don't worry about that. Anyway, I have also been advised to take you onto the dance floor once the first dance starts, which is why I had to find you a little before it starts.”

“…Why does it have to be me? Find some other human to do that crap with you.” Xeran grumbled, indirectly shooing her away.

Mirabelle's eye twitched, seemingly unused to people not wanting to snatch up the first opportunity to court her. “Ahem, you see, I had thought the same thing at first, as well.” She leaned into him conspiratorially, failing to notice how Xeran leaned away from her at the same time. “Do you want to know what changed my mind?”

“No, not really,” Xeran mumbled in a monotonous tone.

Mirabelle continued, ignoring him as she grabbed his arm and plastered on a huge smile. “You and I are absolutely perfect together! We would make an amazing-looking couple! I had imagined you to be nice but stocky, but now that I see you, you're just about as good-looking as I am…though not quite.”

Xeran snorted. “You can give Narcissus a run for his money.”

Mirabelle frowned. “Who is that?”

Xeran shook her off. “Nothing, it's not important.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Also, I'm not doing this dance with you or any dance.” I would rather get smitten than do that, Xeran thought, despite wanting so desperately to say it out loud.

“Well, we still have time before the dance starts. I do hope you make the right choice in the end.”

Mirabelle stalked off, her head held high as men and women alike both sighed in happiness at getting even an ounce of attention from her. Their desperation seeped into the atmosphere in the room as other people started taking notice of the woman or scoffed at her supercilious attitude.

Xeran shook his head to get rid of whatever stupidity that dull conversation was and looked around. He finally saw the window of opportunity he needed to get out of the banquet hall and took it without another thought. Making sure no one was watching him leave, he sprinted out the doors and outside, running over to the closest gazebo a little way away from the hubbub of the banquet.

Apparently, someone else also had the same idea as him. They turned to look at him as he ran up to them, breathing heavy from all the running. When Xeran caught sight of the human man, he nearly had all of the rest of his breath knocked out of him (if anyone suspected he started coughing from lack of air because of that, he would deny it). The man's facial features were soft but his eyes sharp, the piercing pastel-green gaze making him more captivating than all of the bright, doe-eyed partygoers.

“Are you trying to escape the banquet, too?”