You’re a Candle in the Window on a Cold, Dark Winter’s Night (3)

I'm so tired, Shuji thought, as he crawled through the armor and through the blood and other fluids of the creature he had just killed. So, so tired. I just want to be at peace, why didn't I shoot, why did I accept her proposal? Why am I here?

Why am I here, gods, why am I here?

He had no answers to those questions.

But he picked up the axe to fight again anyway.

Before Shuji knew it he was gasping for breath amidst the bodies of his fallen enemies, fervently wishing that whatever treasure or bounty this room contained would make all this shit worthwhile.

As he caught his breath and recovered himself, his mind took him to a completely different place. Not only did he traverse space, he traversed time as well. It had been years ago, now.

Sometimes it was hard for him to think that it had been years since his life had gone to shit.

The walls of his room kept count, but it felt like days, or maybe he had to feel that way to keep from going crazy.

Don't you think you're crazy enough as it is?

Let's save all this melodrama and jump out the window if we have to. You don't even have to reload the rifle, which by the way you never used at any point, although it would have been useful.

——

For fifteen years he had lived in a world where his biggest worry had been simply failing exams, or at least not getting good enough grades for a good job and ending up only being able to afford one of those apartments that drew comparisons with a casket. That was a life, but not a good one. No wonder so many salarymen ended up taking off their shoes and taking the plunge.

Now he might need a real coffin. Soon.

Shuji was being chased in the woods by.... He knew what they were, he'd seen them, but he still found it hard to believe. Okay, he had accepted that maybe he had indeed been transported to another world, like in the stories, that he hadn't simply lost his mind.

But really?

Rabbits with teeth like sharks and eyes that glistened like freshly spilled blood. A pack of those little motherfuckers. He had come to the conclusion that the only feasible way to make money for a complete stranger in a strange land like him was adventurer work. Hunting lesser monsters.

They wouldn't take him just anywhere considering he had simply appeared out of nowhere. Without the slightest trace of his existence, not even a couple of papers in some office.

He knew that, but what had he been thinking? There was no way he was up to it.

Okay, he had killed a few, but now his right hand was so injured (not to mention soaked with blood) that he was barely able to hold the sword, and he had been forced to get the hell out of there.

Why had he thought he would be able to do this, when in the real world he had never once in his life gotten into a fight?

Why had his head been full of stupid fantasies about how wonderful it might be to live in another world?

I just want to go home.

That was what was going through his head as the rabbits came at him, biting him all over, dragging him to the ground with their collective weight. I just want to go home, he thought as they tore at his flesh and their eyes seemed to glow brighter and brighter, God, let me go home.

He fought back as best he could at first, but the sword soon slipped through his fingers and was lost.

Not from his sight, but out of his reach.

Too far away. Beyond the mass formed by the killer rabbits. Among the undergrowth, the darkness and the trees. Beyond even the reach of his blood, which was spreading out on the ground like a...

Like a carpet.

(crossing the red carpet I'm crossing the red carpet)

Where to?

Back home?

Home, where everything was warm and safe? Home, where he wouldn't need to be

SO AFRAID

Shuji no longer had the sword.

He barely had the poor armor he had bought for himself anymore, in fact.

He had only fingernails and teeth left.

He was sure he would die right there, even as his teeth desperately tore at the rabbits' flesh, a desperate struggle to eat before he was eaten, even as he picked them up and crushed them, or slammed them to the ground, as he gave it his all, everything and more.

And in the end it had been worth it, of course.

Because that had happened a long time ago. And he was alive.

——

So much effort to survive. So much blood, sweat and tears, quite literally, and for what?

He shook his head - for what, exactly?

And the funny thing was, he'd repeated it today.

Angry with himself on top of everything else, Shuji let out a grunt and threw the axe against the floor hard enough to get it embedded there.

He turned to the center of the room, where a huge strongbox rested. He'd had his head full, not to mention he'd been busy surviving, so he was only pretty sure that hadn't been there before.

Specifically, before defeating the enemies in the room, of course.

Shuji opened the safe, simply by sliding the lid, no key required. Or one could also say that defeating the armors had been the key; for it to appear, for it to be unlocked.

He couldn't help but think that he wished everything was just as easy.

He couldn't see the key to a better future anywhere.

"Just this?"

Luna's reaction was predictable, even natural. But he'd be lying if he said it didn't bother him. This was how he made a living, after all. It was the only thing he was capable of doing, even if it was no big deal.

It was the first time he realized he felt a kind of pride in his.... No, not for his work per se, but for his efforts bearing fruit, big or small.

The contents of the safe were swords, spears, some armor, carved wooden figures and the like. There was also some money, gold, but mostly things he could and should sell. Nothing that had any inherent value.

In this world, there was no symbolic representation of how much gold the nations moved. Just gold. And it passed from hand to hand faster than any bill.

He knew there was a war going on, though not too much about the details. Maybe that's why he had to struggle just to make ends meet even though he did this constantly. Maybe in other times, this job would have been easier, but he had been transported to a different world at the worst possible time.

Anyway.

He was actually lucky that the war hadn't affected him directly, even though it had already started when he came into this world and showed no signs of stopping.

It was hard to feel lucky, though. About anything.

"What do you expect? If it were that easy to get a big haul no one would go into these places on a regular basis." Shuji could have chosen a wide variety of answers, but in the end he stuck with that one. A safe answer.

He didn't have the energy to argue, especially about something even he knew was nonsense.

"Well, that's true, but come on. It's almost not worth it."

"Almost is the key word. It's got to be enough for me."

Shuji closed the safe again, taking a few seconds longer than necessary to make sure it was securely locked. Then he lifted it, placing it over one shoulder.

This was, of course, something that would have been completely impossible for him before he reached the other world. A normal human being wouldn't have been able to lift such a weight even with an arsenal of steroids.

But he had become strong.

"Wow, you're strong," Luna said, almost echoing his thoughts. He looked back at her, wondering if he hadn't spoken aloud without realizing it for a moment.

"That's why you shouldn't trust me so easily."

Going so far for a complete stranger.

Following him into a dark and isolated place like a dungeon, where anything could happen without anyone on the surface knowing. She'd come too far and no matter how much she said she simply owed him, it didn't seem like enough.

"Isn't it the other way around? I know that, if you wanted to do something to me, you would have."

He didn't know what to say to that, so he just let out an ambiguous grunt. They continued onward. Well, back, retracing their steps. On the way out of this room where they had both almost died, his free hand brushed the axe, without looking, and plucked it from the floor.

The way out had been practically trouble-free, for once.

But, of course, it couldn't stay that easy. In the way back stood a large monster with a spiked mace and a single eye. A cyclops. Big, but worse for it in this corridor.

And besides at least it wasn't a goblin, then he'd have to start worrying about his chastity.

At least the exit wasn't too far, he thought. He made to put the strongbox down. Another fight... Why?