Aftermath!

Having just left the school gate, the freezing temperature of the night cascaded like a row of dominoes falling one after another. While I shivered vigorously, Ayane walked as normal. I already knew about this bizarre superpower she had, but it still continued to amaze me. The only thing keeping her warm was her school uniform and my hand, yet she walked the same way she always did.

As always, she seemed perfectly content in saying nothing. I liked that about her. I felt solace and comfort talking to another introvert, but now, I wanted to strike up a conversation with her. The one I love. I guess it worked, too, because I had been bottling up an important question this whole time.

“Why did you leave me in the dark about Satoshi-kun?”

“Because I didn’t want to interfere.”

“But why would you do that?” I asked with my fingertips on my forehead.

After asking my question, Ayane stopped walking and looked down at the ground.

“I was scared.”

“But Satoshi-kun was hurting,” I said, waving my arms.

Ayane didn’t respond. She instead held her hands together tightly as she continued to stray her eyes further from me. There wasn’t anything I could do other than to continue talking to her.

“You know, something changed in me.”

My face went red as I held onto my arm. I took a deep breath, though. I needed to speak as confidently as I could. As such, I moved my head towards her as I told her the rest of my statement.

“It was when we kissed.”

Immediately, Ayane jumped. When she failed to turn her head back to me, I could see the red on her face. Now that I knew I had her attention, I could finally give her my explanation.

“It was then that I realized how important my relationship with you was. I promised to treat all of my relationships with care. Satoshi-kun was hurting, so I had to help him.”

When Ayane eventually looked at me again. I saw the smile on her face.

“I’m glad.”

“Huh?”

As I stood, baffled, it gave Ayane time to respond.

“I didn’t think there was anything I could do. After dating you, it made it even harder for me to reject him, but you somehow found a way to force me into it without it breaking him.”

I still couldn’t say anything. All I thought about was how I assumed the worst of her. I may not have seen eye to eye with her, but I couldn’t argue with her reasoning. Of course she’d be scared of rejecting Satoshi-kun. If she could see past him, then… wait a second.

“How did you know about Satoshi-kun’s insecurities?”

“Wasn’t it obvious?” Ayane asked as she tilted her head to the side.

“It was?”

“Well, it was to me, at least. Something about him never seemed right, like he was hurling a huge weight on his shoulders.”

I sighed before my response, but I looked down as I did so.

“When you say it out loud, I can’t help but feel the same way. I just tried to deny it.”

“I’m just glad that he doesn’t have to hide his true self anymore. He’s finally free.”

“You really think that I helped him that much? Won’t his life still be a challenge, having to come out about the secrets he once hid?”

“I’m sure it will, but it’s also a sacrifice he needed to make. You’ll see, soon enough.”

“I guess so.”

As our conversation continued, I couldn’t shake away the butterflies in my stomach. With a strong feeling in my chest, the feeling that maybe I’d done something wrong grew more and more. I couldn’t think of anything to say. I knew I had no reason to be worried. Satoshi no longer showed any malice, and I had Ayane right next to me for comfort, but the overwhelming feeling of my new life couldn’t be stronger. I knew I needed to make this change in myself, and I knew I was happier than I used to be, but the feelings I’d get from the changes themselves never occurred to me.

Was the act of change harder than I thought?

I knew I said that everything would be okay with Ayane by my side, but would she even stay with me? I didn’t know. I didn’t think I was good enough. Not only did I have the drama club, not only did I have to stick to the promise I made myself, but now I lived with my adorable girlfriend. This was a hell of a lot more than I used to do.

I didn’t want to wallow in those worries forever, though. If this silence persisted, I’d freeze from the weather. If anything, my strong reactions to the cold were perfect symbolism for my resistance to said change, and oh boy did I hate to admit that. I needed to grasp some sort of pride, though, so I turned my attention back to Ayane in a desperate attempt to ignore my monologue.

“Why did you let me move in with you?” I asked.

She didn’t answer, instead going red in the face. She still looked at me, though, so it seemed like she wanted to respond. She tried opening her mouth for several seconds. When it failed the first time, she tried again, only to fail again. At this point, she couldn’t face me anymore, but I didn’t care because of how cute it was. All I wanted to do was make things easier for her.

“You know, if you want to say something, you can trust me. You don’t have to, though.”

She took more to the last part of the sentence. At this point, she couldn’t even look me in the eye. In that case, she instead decided to speak without her words.

Wrapping herself around my arms, it was enough to reaffirm her love for me. She gripped tightly enough for me to feel the warmth of her whole body resting against my arm.

I stood still as a brick. With my face burning up, this was easily the most flustered I’d been. Ayane didn’t see any of it, though. She shut her eyes, not in a normal way, but as if she forced herself into not seeing. It would make sense, too, given how I could feel the rapid beats of her heart against my arm.

Wait, did this mean that my arm was against her chest?

I wasn’t given time to think about this, though, as when Ayane’s eyes began to relax more, she asked me a question.

“How does it feel?”

“I… like it,” I mumbled.

I couldn’t face her. Well, it was more like I didn’t want to. Eventually, though, I turned my head back to her, only to see her smile.

“I’m glad,” she told me.

We didn’t speak for the rest of our way back. We just continued to walk. Neither of us knew what to say or what to think. All we could feel was each other, a feeling that we needed going into her house.

Now that we were there, I needed to make something clear before we entered.

“You can let go of me…”

“Oh… right…”

As she said that, she moved her arms away from me and held her hands back together. Unable to face me, I still couldn’t comprehend her.

Letting out a deep sigh, I opened the door, only for Aya to notice us instantly, turning her attention away from the newspaper she shared with Aka.

“You know what we’re having for dinner?” she asked with a glare.

“Why are you asking me this?”

“Because it’s late at night and we haven’t heard a peep from either of you.”

I looked away.

“Sorry…”

“Yuuki-kun, here’s a list of the ingredients you have to get at the store. Ayane-chan, help me start with what we have.”