Bottom

Uke and seme. Top and bottom. Tachi and neko... these bonds were unbreakable! They were of complete and utter divinity! Connection... a shared interest toward one another... that interest... it meant everything! How could I truly believe myself worthy of his interest? These worries wouldn’t cease, even in moments of rest.

I opened my eyes. I have shown only the worst of myself to him. I hadn’t made myself to be much of anything, much less a version of myself I could even associate with. I wasn’t like this! I didn’t let my thoughts affect others. I had never spoken them, I had only allowed the repercussions to harm myself. Not others, never others... When had I last spoken to someone? When had I last held a bond such as this? When had I last felt comfort in another? I hadn’t been able to expose my heart. I had always kept everything of myself hidden from others. It had never occurred to me as a fault of those around me. I had always avoided them without any thought, it hadn’t ever been intentional. Was I afraid? Did I fear what they thought? It didn’t matter... I couldn’t change what I had done... I could lighten my reactions. I didn’t want to hurt him. I wanted him to find comfort in me as well. I wanted him to enjoy the time we spent in each other's presence... that’s all I wished for. I wanted him to be happy. With me.

“Hey...” I whispered. He hadn’t noticed that I was awake.

He was sitting at the end of my bed cross-legged. He was staring at a wall. A white wall with no decoration. He was eating something from a bag. He hadn’t heard me.

Under the blankets, I moved my leg.

He hadn’t noticed.

I lightly kicked my legs.

He hadn’t noticed.

I kicked harder.

He hadn’t noticed.

I lay in defeat. How hadn’t he noticed? Was he immersed in intellectual thought? Perhaps he was thinking about me! Perhaps he was thinking of my attractive qualities! I’m sure he was! What else was there to think about? Our world was meaningless outside of each other. I couldn’t allow my foolish insecurities to hold me back from the one I love!

“Please let me be a bottom! I love you!” I shouted (with passion).

He turned to look at me.

“... what’s that.”

Kyaa! He had accepted so easily! I had known we were destined for each other. From the moment I met him... no! From the moment I was born! We had been fated to meet each other!

I sat up suddenly.

“Let’s go on a date!”

“... where?” He questioned.

I hadn't thought that far... what interests did we share? Were there any? Out of ideas. I looked around my room. It was barren, I had very little. A bed in the furthest corner of my room. A dresser across and a nightstand next to it. That was it. I had no decorations, nothing at all. A thought suddenly came over me. We needed to build a life together! We needed a comfortable home!

“Let’s go to Ikeeyaa!”